The first kiss, which became the last...
I'll start my "story". I was fourteen years old. I fell deeply and seriously in love with a boy who was a year younger than me. Naturally, he didn’t understand much then. But how I understood everything! How I suffered from misunderstanding on his part!
At first I dreamed that he would grow up, that he would understand everything, that we would be together…. But then I decided that waiting was very painful for me. And I decided not to wait. I decided to stupidly run away from love.
I started dating other guys. At seventeen I had my first sex. But even during the most intimate moments, I imagined Alexander. Alex is the name of the guy whom I loved so tenderly and reverently.
Why can't I forget my first love?
If you often think, why can't I forget my first love and that happy time. This is because you experienced strong and sincere feelings, and they will remain in your memory for a long time. No matter how hard we try, it will be difficult for us to stop missing our early love. Guys and girls in their first love relationships will forever remember these warm hugs, kind words and romantic walks. Below are 10 reasons that will answer your question why I can’t forget my first love.
You experienced intimacy for the first time
Try to remember your first kiss, first physical intimacy with your partner, and sexual experience. I think you will experience pleasant emotions and feelings, just like at that wonderful time. This happens because you have never experienced anything like this before, and these sensations will remain with you for a long time. This is the time when first dates and intimate conversations made you feel slightly nervous, and gentle touches gave you goosebumps.
These are the most innocent feelings
In fact, girls very often come to me with the question, why can’t I forget my first love? And in most cases, the main reason is your real and sincere feelings that you experienced at that time. People don't go into relationships for the first time with the expectation of getting benefits. This is a sincere attraction to a person that comes from a pure heart. There can be no anger or insults in your true love. At this time, the whole world seems beautiful, and life becomes happy. It's like you're wearing rose-colored glasses and can't take them off.
How to forget your first love
Love makes us do things that we would not have dared to do before: jump with a parachute, lose 20 kilograms, change our place of residence. For the sake of our loved one, we are ready to move mountains and turn back rivers. Without exaggeration, we can say that our planet revolves thanks to love.
When we remember her, we like the beginning of a relationship: the moments experienced, the first touches, loving glances, walks. But one day this magical feeling disappears. The pain of loss makes it difficult to breathe. My soul is heavy, painful and scary.
First love
First love usually occurs in adolescence. This storm of romantic feelings sweeps over like a hurricane. And when parting, the degree of worry can even surpass falling in love. This first experience, in the world of sensations and deep feelings, is very important. But if love does not let you go, and does not allow you to continue to build your personal life normally, then something needs to be done about it.
The first step may be to limit communication. But there is a danger here that, without seeing the object of your love, you can idealize it too much in your fantasies. Then perhaps it is worth resuming at least some kind of relationship and seeing that the person is not so ideal and has many shortcomings. It is impossible to step into the same river twice. Over time, people change. And resumption of relations does not mean that everything will be the same as before.
Overcoming
At this moment, when it seems that the world is collapsing, that nothing will happen, that life is losing its meaning, the most important thing is to find inner reserves within yourself and find the strength to live on. Of course, this is not easy to do. And although fate brought such pain, undoubtedly, it also prepared a lot of gifts. And just waiting for you to get distracted and see them under your feet.
The pain of the first breakup
Surely you know this feeling. After all, parting with your first lover in life is a very painful event, regardless of who initiated the break. Even if you remain friends, these experiences will be incomparable to anything else. First love is hard to let go of. After all, this means leaving the tender and innocent feelings that seemed magical to you and which you will remember all your life.
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First love changed you
Sometimes we don't even realize it. However, one of the indisputable advantages of the first relationship is the fact that this period is often characterized by a time of personal growth and development, new experiences and the ability to face one’s fears and complexes. Lovers inspire each other to make positive changes. This helps shape our personality and has a huge impact on our future destiny.
Psychologist work vectors
There is no single recipe for psychological help for all cases of unrequited love or love-dependence. Each psychological session is unique. In working with teenagers on the request of unrequited love, in my opinion, the most effective is the use of methods of integrative kinesiology, body-oriented, emotional-imaginative and art therapy.
For myself, I have identified several vectors of psychological assistance to teenagers in situations of unrequited love and emotional dependence:
1. Maximum clarification of the request that the teenager came with. 2. Search for resources, strengthening self-confidence, internal and external support. 3. Training in techniques for self-stabilization of the emotional state. 4. Working with identity. Returning contact with yourself and the world around you through the integration of the “body-mind-senses” system. 5. Restoration of attachment, personal boundaries, safe living space, 6. Help in finding and understanding the causes of unhappy love. 7. Transformation of a problem into a goal. 8. Return of feelings and parts of personality invested in the object of love. 9. Establishing trusting relationships with parents and immediate environment. 10. Formation of the ability to build more mature close relationships with a person who can reciprocate.
The success of work is largely related to the actions of parents during this period of their children's lives. Therefore, below is a number of tips and recommendations.
First love - what is it?
Great shock. Someone becomes more important than one's own self. Emotions overflow: from pink euphoria to black depression. It's different for everyone. This is not forgotten, leaving a trail of memories of a first date, a kiss, a quarrel. A big, bright, all-consuming feeling appears in our lives unexpectedly and behaves in an unpredictable way. Common situations:
- Lucky case. He is the most difficult. The gold standard has been set, which you will strive for in the future. You won't settle for anything less. So, you are both young, innocent and full of romantic expectations. The realization that all men cheat, and women are easy to lure with a fur coat, will come much later. An atmosphere of complete trust and mutual understanding reigns in your relationship. You are convinced that you have found a soul mate and tend to consider your partner ideal. Mutual feeling brings satisfaction, and both sincerely believe that no one and nothing can separate you. You seal your intentions with oaths of allegiance and make bright plans for your future together. Alas, the villainous fate decrees otherwise: a summons to the military registration and enlistment office or admission to a foreign university separates you. Yes, we tried to keep in touch for some time. But gradually, given the distance, it faded away. Someone left the relationship first and arranged their personal life. Those left in splendid isolation will long remember their first love as the best thing that happened to them.
- Experiment. You were irresistibly attracted to each other despite the difference in age, social status, and worldviews. Neither together nor apart did we feel happy. It was difficult for the two of you because you lacked sufficient emotional experience to build a harmonious relationship. Conflicts quickly became the norm. You quarreled and made up, broke up and got back together. Perhaps one of these scandals caused the breakup. However, since then no one else has given you such an irresistible desire to fly to a date with your loved one, in the rain or snow. The bitterness of the loss of this unique feeling that wings have grown behind one’s back does not leave many years after the last “Farewell!”
- A complete fiasco. Fell in love at first sight. Unsuccessful. The beauty's heart was occupied. He was ready to lay the whole world at her feet: he rushed in the morning for armfuls of wildflowers, wrote fiery messages on the snowdrifts in front of his beloved’s house. Attempts to attract attention with romantic follies did not lead to anything good. Juliet made it clear that your candidacy will not be considered, even if all other males on the planet become extinct, since you are infinitely far from the ideal man of her dreams. Another - a daring alpha male - was given the treasured right to be next to her, to hug the wasp's waist and catch the admiring gaze of the beauty. The women's version of such a novel often looks no less tragic. You waited with bated breath for every meeting with the most prominent guy in the school, you were always in touch when he needed it, you supported him in word and deed. Happiness was at arm's length. He got used to you, and the deep feeling of friendship grew into something more before his eyes. But the insidious rival showed miracles of courage and ingenuity to take the gentleman away literally from under his nose. You alone know how many girlish tears the loss of such a relationship cost. How can a victim of unrequited first love forget his defeat? Self-esteem has been dealt too severe a blow, resentment and jealousy, and regret about the missed opportunity for happiness are overwhelming.
Lots of new impressions
Surely your first love was accompanied by other events that were new to you. So, perhaps this feeling has motivated you to try something you haven't done before, or take on challenges you haven't thought about before. You could also experience for yourself how people are able to empathize and support each other, rejoicing at the achievements and successes of their beloved and being upset because of his problems and failures.
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