The birth of a child is a natural physiological process that requires effort from mother and baby. Often, a pregnant woman in the third trimester is haunted by concerns: how quickly labor will begin, whether complications will arise for the baby, and whether she will be able to give birth safely on her own. Young ladies preparing to become a mother for the first time are especially afraid of the upcoming trip to the maternity hospital. How to overcome the fear of childbirth if it turns from mild excitement into real panic? It is necessary to understand what fears are and what the reasons for their occurrence are.
Features of a woman’s psychological state throughout pregnancy
A woman’s psychological readiness for the birth process practically does not depend on whether it is the first, second or third birth in her life. A much more important factor is pregnancy planning. An unplanned pregnancy often causes panic and horror of childbirth. If a woman prepared for the birth of the baby in advance, and especially if the pregnancy and child are desired and long-awaited, then the woman has much less fear of childbirth.
Of course, knowledge of the characteristics of a woman’s emotional state during pregnancy allows us to provide adequate psychological assistance in preparation for childbirth. Therefore, I will tell you today about how a woman’s psychological state differs in different trimesters of pregnancy and how to help yourself or a loved one overcome the fear of the birth process itself.
First trimester
Numerous studies have proven that from the moment the expectant mother learned about a new condition for herself, the level of her negative experiences increases sharply. Of course, the influence of the social situation also has an impact.
Early or late pregnancy, high workload, criticism and “unsolicited advice” from friends or relatives, rudeness of medical workers, lack of basic care can create a minor mood background for the pregnant woman. But even with all the favorable social conditions during this period, a sharp change in hormonal levels will still make itself felt.
- In the first trimester, constant fatigue, drowsiness, and emotional lability are most often observed. A pregnant woman may demonstrate hypersensitive reactions to the most ordinary life situations, show high anxiety where it is inappropriate, and express dissatisfaction with herself and the world around her.
A few simple tips to help overcome low mood levels in the first trimester
More healthy egocentrism - how's that?
Pregnancy is a time when becoming a little “mean” is very good for your health. Of course, it’s still not worth harassing others and especially your spouse with constant nagging. But allowing yourself to rest more, get enough sleep, and eat outside of your work schedule is simply necessary.
A calm, measured mode sends the necessary signals to the brain, and therefore will allow you to be more resistant to emotional mood swings.
Don't try to be a good housewife at the expense of your own health.
Of course, the spouse will be pleased if, upon returning home, he finds dinner cooked and the house clean. But, if the sight of food makes you feel unwell, and washing the toilet is accompanied by vomiting, then it is necessary to shift the performance of these functions to other people (spouse, parents, older children).
In our culture, it is common to place all housework on fragile women’s shoulders. However, now you need to think more about yourself and not feel guilty about it.
Explain to your loved ones that as soon as you feel rested and full of strength, you will return to your previous responsibilities.
Notify your manager of your position
According to the law, a pregnant woman has the right to easier working conditions. Exercise this right even when you are the “sole, valuable and irreplaceable” employee. A child's health is much more important than a career.
Second trimester
By the beginning of the second trimester, the self-esteem and well-being of a pregnant woman improves. She and those around her had already become accustomed to her new position. The second trimester is the time to enjoy pregnancy. Toxicosis, as a rule, has already disappeared, but the possibility of active pastime still remains. Of course, not as active as before pregnancy, but still.
During this period, feasible physical activity is especially recommended (leisurely walks in the fresh air, yoga, fitness and swimming for pregnant women).
It has been proven that women who lead an active lifestyle during pregnancy have lower levels of anxiety and a more stable emotional background.
In addition, visiting special groups for pregnant women at recreational centers and medical centers has a beneficial effect on the mood of a pregnant woman. There she finds communication based on her interests, has the opportunity to exchange experiences and gain new positive impressions.
Third trimester
The level of well-being decreases again. This is due to physical limitations. The belly becomes so large that it sometimes interferes with some hygiene procedures, fastening shoes, and performing simple housework.
A pregnant woman may suddenly feel unnecessary, useless, and ugly. During this period, there is a separation from the work team, which is felt especially acutely by female careerists.
Due to social and physiological changes, a woman may feel lonely and experience a strong need for communication and active action.
The closer the day of the expected birth, the more anxiety increases. Often, having tried to discuss this issue with loved ones, a woman receives pseudo-support, expressed in the form of “everyone gives birth,” “it’s a woman’s share,” etc. Which further aggravates the emotional state.
Fear of childbirth greatly affects the quality of sleep of a pregnant woman. Sleep becomes restless, the woman may be tormented by unpleasant dreams. You can learn to analyze your own dreams and understand their true essence with the help of my online training. In it we will look at dreams together not from the point of view of physiology or esotericism, but from a completely new side. My rich psychotherapeutic experience and research into the dreams of my clients allowed me to create completely new knowledge about this most interesting area of reality. The training is unique and you simply won’t find its analogues on the Internet.
To overcome strong fear during this period, I recommend using the simple and effective technique of Dutch colleagues.
Analytical work with fear, adopted in Holland
The technique involves detailing your own anxiety for small fears and debunking each of them separately. After all, anxiety is always pointless and unclear. But as soon as it takes on the contours of awareness, as soon as you understand what exactly you are afraid of, consider that the first step towards victory has already been taken.
All that remains is to translate the fears into small concerns, and then work with each of them.
And as a result of such work, you will suddenly discover that the probability of the situation that you are so afraid of is either negligible, or it is within your power. And you can deal with it. Just repeat the phrase “I can handle it!” You will definitely succeed!
We refute misconceptions
Fears of childbirth in pregnant women are common. Especially for women in labor, for whom this baby is the first child. Overly sensitive people tend to believe other people's horror stories about the careless attitude of doctors, possible complications and unfavorable outcomes of labor.
How to calm yourself before childbirth? You should stop believing all the horrors told by outsiders. Each woman is individual, and how the birth of a baby will go depends only on her physical condition, natural factors and the professionalism of the obstetrician. What horror stories should you not believe?
- The pain of childbirth cannot be forgotten. It is not true. After just a few months, all memories disappear - this is a feature of the female body.
- Caesarean section is better than natural birth. Any operation has a negative impact on a woman’s health. Caesarean section is no exception. After a natural birth, it is much easier for a woman’s body to recover, and a mother with a stitch on her stomach will take longer to recover. The absence of indications for cesarean section should please, and not provoke fear of giving birth.
- Labor lasts 24-48 hours. Several decades ago, when there was no necessary diagnostic equipment and safe drugs to speed up labor, a woman in labor could endure contractions for several days. Today, doctors know how to speed up the process of a baby being born: on average, the process lasts 8-12 hours.
- A child wrapped in an umbilical cord will certainly suffocate. How to cope with the fear of childbirth if the baby is wrapped in an umbilical cord? We can safely say – there is nothing to be afraid of! While the baby moves through the birth canal, he receives oxygen through it, and at the moment of birth, the doctor will immediately remove the umbilical cord so that the baby can take a full breath.
- Fear of death before childbirth. Drive away all negative thoughts from yourself. One woman out of 100,000 births with serious health problems dies during childbirth. There is always a nurse in the delivery room with the woman in labor who monitors the well-being of the mother and fetus in the womb.
It's natural to feel nervous before giving birth. However, it is extremely important not to let it turn into panic.
What is fear of childbirth?
It can occur at any time during pregnancy. But it is more typical for the first two and last two months.
It includes:
- fear of severe pain (flavored with stories from friends or previous birth experiences),
- fear of the pathological course of childbirth (both for the health of the baby and for the health of the mother),
- fears for your life and the life of your child.
The core of a woman’s emotional peace is her confidence in her own health, that she can cope with emerging problems.
I'm afraid to give birth to a sick child
The most sacred thing for all mothers without exception is the health of the child. Therefore, the fear of giving birth to a baby with any deviation is one of the most common. Anxious feelings are aggravated by the understanding of the impossibility of influencing the course of events. Human life and health, unfortunately, too often depend on a set of accidents. Just as a brick can fall on the head of a healthy person at any moment, so a strong, completely healthy baby can suffer during childbirth. Or vice versa - a weak, premature baby is born, and after just six months he quickly catches up with his peers. The most attentive and caring pregnant woman, who follows all the recommendations of doctors, is not insured against the birth of a sick child, and completely healthy children can be born in the families of degenerate alcoholics. As they say, everything is God’s will.
But this is not a reason for pessimism. Study the statistics. The proportion of children born with disabilities is so small that it is not worth worrying about. Trying various diagnoses on yourself and your unborn child is simply a crime, because our thoughts are material. They say that what we fear most happens to us. You need to understand that the fear of giving birth to a sick child is a completely normal phenomenon, but focusing on it is not normal. And even if the child has any deviations from the norm, it is not the end of the world. Thanks to modern medicine, we now have the possibility of early diagnosis, the use of various “smart” medical equipment and new effective procedures to help us (another question is that sometimes all this can only be obtained for a lot of money, but that’s another story...)
Advice : Solve problems as they come. Thinking about bad things is the last thing. You need to wait for your baby with joy, and negative information should be avoided if possible.
How to cope with the wild fear of childbirth?
It will not be possible to completely get rid of increased anxiety before the birth process. For a healthy woman, this important event always causes excitement and awe of the unknown. But it is still possible to remove wild fear.
To do this, you should delve into the physiological and psychological components of childbirth as much as possible. Look at this process objectively, from an outside perspective. After all, it is known that women involved in medicine (doctors, nurses, hospital staff and clinics) are much less likely to experience panic fear of childbirth.
This is due to the fact that they have a very clear idea of what awaits them, and every detail of childbirth is filled not with fear, but with meaning.
That is why a thorough understanding of the entire process, including the stages of weak contractions, strong contractions and labor attempts will allow the woman in labor to feel complete control over the situation, and therefore be absolutely calm, confident that everything is going as it should.
Elena Pozdeeva’s book “Childbirth in Joy” is very good in the sense of psychological assistance to a future mother in labor. Pregnancy. Childbirth. A training book for expectant mothers.” Unlike many books about childbirth, this literary source is replete with positive examples, inspires expectant mothers and reassures them.
In times of severe pain, switching the focus of attention from yourself to the child helps a lot. Many “experienced” mothers say: “Remember about the child, it is much more difficult (hurt) for him than for you.” And although this phrase should not be taken literally, it still has a certain meaning.
Taking care of the unborn baby, the mother is not so worried about what is happening to her.
I'm afraid to sleep with my husband
Another common fear based on a lack of knowledge about physiology. Yes, to some extent, pregnant women should be careful during intimacy, especially in the first, second and ninth months. Sex is contraindicated if there is a real threat of miscarriage or premature birth, as diagnosed by a doctor. In other cases, there is no need to worry, especially for the baby, who is reliably protected by amniotic fluid and the amniotic sac. Having sex is a very good preparation of the female body for childbirth.
Firstly, hormones are released that promote the normal course of pregnancy and uterine contractions (oxytocin, prostaglandins), and the so-called “hormones of happiness” - endorphins, which have an overall positive effect on the course of pregnancy. Do not forget that these hormones “delight” the child. Secondly, successful sex, accompanied by a female orgasm, relieves emotional stress, relaxes and charges a woman with positivity. And physiological unloading allows you to forget about congestion in the pelvic area. Thirdly, during lovemaking, metabolic processes in the body intensify, promoting the elimination of harmful substances, which, in turn, reduces the manifestations of toxicosis or gestosis. A small bonus to the above is that there is no need for contraception, because there is nothing to worry about.
Advice : As with any physical activity, it is important not to overdo it; you should not organize a sexual marathon. Now is not the time for experiments and searches for variety; pregnancy is a time of calm love and harmony. And let no one be confused by the fact that a child can feel everything; in this case, the third one is not at all superfluous. Parents can do whatever they want, because a happy mother means a healthy baby.
More information about sex in the last days of pregnancy?
