I am a little girl. How to become the best mother for your inner child

What is an inner child

This concept refers to any emotional and psychological baggage that a person carries from the first years of life.
The first person to talk about the inner child was the psychiatrist What is the “Inner Child”? Carl Jung. According to his theory, the “inner child” archetype helps a person reconnect with the past because he remembers his childhood emotions and experiences. This makes it easier for him to grow up and understand what he wants from the future.

The concept became popular after the release of 3 Therapies to Heal Your Wounded Inner Child in John Bradshaw's bestselling book Coming Home: Reviving and Protecting the Inner Child in 1990. Modern psychological studies Health throughout the lifespan: The phenomenon of the inner child reflected in events during childhood experienced by older persons confirm that early experiences are well remembered. They affect people in different ways. For example, for some, constantly criticizing parents became a reason to cultivate fortitude, for others it is a trauma for life.

Healing the Inner Child: 3 Meditations

I bring to your attention meditations on healing the inner child from 3 authors working on this important topic.

Meditations for healing the soul of the Inner Child are an important part of daily self-therapy

An important rule for working with meditation: healing the Inner Child is a deep and long-term process, listen to the meditations below by Mogilevskaya, Louise Hay and Sinelnikov in the morning and evening, as well as during the day for several months, combining with other forms of self-therapy of the soul. And the result will not be long in coming.

“Healing the inner child”: meditation by Angelina Mogilevskaya

Mogilevskaya, as a student of Louise Hay, recorded her meditation many years ago, but it is relevant precisely because it allows you to get in touch with your Inner Child.

Listen to Angelina Mogilevskaya’s meditation right now in its entirety and write down your response with feelings and your impressions in your notebook.

Meditation based on the book by Louise Hay “Contact with your Inner Child”

Listen to another meditation on healing the Inner Child from Louise Hay.

Louise Hay is famous for curing her Inner Child by healing her body from cancer and writing many books about this experience.

Embrace the Inner Child: how to get hugs video from Alexander Molyaruk

At the very last moment, I replaced Sinelnikov’s meditation on healing the Inner Child with my video, which is very important in this topic.

Watch the video, stop reading the article for one minute and hug someone, thereby providing a portion of hugs in your Child’s diet.

Why look for your inner child?

Each of us has an inner child Finding and Getting to Know Your Inner Child. Communication with him can make your life more prosperous and bring ease into it.

Diana Raab, Doctor of Psychology, in a comment to Healthline

When the inner child is “healthy,” it usually does not cause trouble in adulthood. But if he is “wounded” 3 Therapies to Heal Your Wounded Inner Child, the person may repeat the wrong behavior patterns taught in childhood. For example, a little girl who saw her mother suffer violence from her father may herself become involved with an abuser as an adult.

Communication with the inner child allows you to find the roots of current problems in childhood and get rid of them. Some people end up with the following in the process: What is the “Inner Child”? :

  • release repressed emotions;
  • recognize unmet needs;
  • change incorrect behavior patterns;
  • loosen up;
  • increase self-esteem.

How to find your inner child

Anyone can contact him and benefit from it. But sometimes disbelief and resistance become an obstacle.

If you still have skepticism, that's normal. Just try to look at the inner child not as a separate person, but as your past experience. This will help you approach your search with curiosity.

There are several Finding and Getting to Know Your Inner Child ways to find your inner child.

Spend time with children

Playing with them will help you remember pleasant events from the past, learn to enjoy little things, live in the moment, relax and feel happier. For starters, try, for example, hide and seek.

Children's fantasies sometimes emerge through imaginative play. Maybe you used to imagine some scenarios that made difficult moments easier for you.

If your child is not there yet, you can spend time with the children of your friends or relatives.

Remember your childhood

Try leafing through photo albums, re-reading books and watching movies that you once liked. If you kept a diary, take a look at that too. Ask relatives to share memories of you. All this helps to return to a child’s emotional state and connect with the inner child.

Another way to plunge into the past is a visualization exercise. If you have trouble remembering what you looked like as a child, first look at old photos. Then close your eyes and imagine yourself as a child. The image must be detailed. Think about what you are wearing, where you are, whether there is anyone nearby. How are you feeling? A child can be lost, lonely, insecure, content, strong.

During the exercise, sometimes it turns out that the inner child feels good and gives you strength and optimism. If he is suffering, you need to help him.

Do what you used to enjoy

Think about what you loved to do as a child. Maybe every summer we rode our bikes to the stream, swam, fished, read in the dusty attic, or roller-skated. Perhaps you don't have enough entertainment right now that simply brings happiness.

Drawing and coloring can also help. During these activities, the active mind is at rest, so emotions that you are not paying attention to will appear on paper. Some of them may be related to the inner child.

Write a letter to your inner child

This is a powerful tool for connecting with your inner child. The letter will help you understand childhood experiences and emotions. There are no restrictions on the form of the exercise. You can talk about something specific or express any thoughts that come to mind.

If you have wounds or injuries, write about them. This will help you connect with your inner child. During reunification with him, you can find the reasons for adult phobias, fears and life stereotypes. Perhaps you realize why you became the way you are.

Diana Raab

Another way to get your inner child talking is to ask him questions from his adult self, then allow him to answer and analyze the result. It's normal to be nervous about what your child might say. Especially if you experienced difficult emotions or had negative experiences as a child.

If you don't like the format of the letter, try talking to your inner child out loud.

See a Psychotherapist

If you suspect that connecting with your inner child will cause bad memories or feelings of fear, it is better to go to a psychotherapist. A professional will support you and offer strategies to help you cope with your emotions and trauma.

It is better if you find a psychotherapist who has experience working with the inner child. The expert should know how to contact him and understand if he is suffering. If it turns out that the client had traumas in childhood that are causing problems now, the specialist will offer psychotherapy.

My experience

I have been working on this topic for quite a long time. A year ago. I had one month of very intense work. But this month has changed a lot in me. I was shocked by my results. My husband was very approving of my changes. This is exactly what I was missing for a long time.

What exactly happened?

  • I have become simpler, lighter, more alive;
  • I learned to obey my husband. Before that, I struggled with obedience for almost a year, but without significant changes!
  • life has become more fun and interesting. I began to allow myself to do stupid things, I began to enjoy life more;
  • I became more open;
  • I began to hear myself, my desires and emotions better;
  • It became easier for me to communicate with my daughter;
  • my husband began to give gifts more often, became more responsible and caring.

It is difficult to put into words how my life has changed. You can only feel it yourself... But it was very difficult to change. It's hard to learn to be weak. Be mischievous, spontaneous and easy. At first, all tasks were completed with difficulty. But I worked very hard. And at some point the Girl’s energy came out.

At the end of the month I felt completely different. I no longer tortured inspiration for girl games, it flowed on its own. I felt a source of lightness, joy and mischief within me.

How psychotherapists heal the inner child

Childhood trauma has long-lasting consequences. Therefore, if during communication with the inner child you realized that he was wounded or offended, he needs to be healed. This can be done with a psychotherapist. Specialists have several 3 Therapies to Heal Your Wounded Inner Child techniques to help.

Empty Chair Technique

The therapist asks the client to sit in front of an empty chair and imagine that someone is sitting on it. For example, a parent or other relative. This person needs to talk about his feelings and thoughts, explain what was missing from him in childhood. The specialist may also suggest switching places with an imaginary character. For example, imagine yourself as your grandmother and listen to your inner child.

In therapy, you can better understand feelings from the past and realize how they affect adult life. Some patients are able to become acquainted with aspects of their character that they tried to deny.

Circuit therapy

People who grew up in hostile environments often exhibit maladaptive (abnormal) behavior patterns. They may cause difficulties in relationships or self-control.

Schema therapy helps to get rid of problems that appeared in childhood. The key to success is that the therapist uses re-education techniques and meets the person's emotional needs. For example, he praises him. As a result, the patient changes his opinion about himself and learns new behavior patterns.

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing

This type of therapy helps cope with panic attacks, stress, painful memories and intrusive thoughts that arise from childhood trauma.

During the session, the person focuses on bad thoughts, emotions or sensations. The psychotherapist begins to move his hand left and right, and the patient begins to monitor the movement. Depending on which direction the eyes are looking, the left or right hemisphere is activated. At this moment, the brain begins to process negative information.

Healing the Inner Child: Self Therapy

Many books have been written about Healing the Inner Child, from metaphysician Louise Hay to psychologist Evgenia Pogudina.

Give voice to your Inner Child - become aware of your needs.

The author of this blog, as a scenario and transactional analyst, deeply explores and applies the topic of healing the Inner Child in his articles. And he even created an audiobook that you can listen to online and heal the deep attitudes of your inner child.

Self-therapy methods for healing the soul of the Inner Child

  • Taking responsibility for meeting the needs of your Inner Child

  • replacing the negative core beliefs of the Inner Child with new supportive attitudes

  • working through unfinished stages of one’s development in childhood

  • following the rights to life of your Inner Child

  • using positive messages that promote development

  • completion of the process of confrontation with parents

  • affirmations and afformations that help strengthen the power of the Self

  • strengthening productive ego states as part of Inner Child script therapy

  • listening to special audio meditations that will help you establish strong connections with your Inner Child

  • specific exercises for healing the Inner Child

  • practicing self-love and developing self-esteem

These are not all the Inner Child self-therapy methods, most of which will be presented in this longread.

VIDEO from the author of the article: Meeting the Inner Girl

Before you start learning Inner Child soul self-therapy techniques, get to know your Inner Girl (if you are female) by watching a video from the author of the blog.

Keep a special notebook for working on healing your Inner Girl (or boy) to write down all your awareness and results of exercises and practices.

How to help your inner child yourself

Visualization is a Healing Your Inner Child healing technique that you can try for yourself. The method is based on the fact that when we think about an action, the same parts of the brain begin to work as during execution.

Use your imagination and imagine yourself as a child at any stage of development where you have experienced stress or abuse. This could be your five-year-old self or your teenage self. If necessary, consider that the child is adopted.

Visualize the other inner self that will help heal the child. For example, a parent, advocate, compassionate person or therapist. Who exactly it will be is up to you to decide.

The method is that you must “re-educate” yourself again. Everything must be done to make the child feel safe and develop resilience. Let the second inner “I” take care of him, approve, satisfy his needs.

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