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Almost everyone can develop kindness. The main thing is to constantly develop this quality in yourself and not be afraid to be a kind person. As a rule, many people do not want to become kind because they consider this quality a sign of weakness. But this is far from true. Moreover, kindness and weakness are two completely opposite qualities that have nothing in common. Therefore, if a person is kind, this does not mean that he is weak. Let's look at some useful tips that will help you become a kind person.
Harper Lee "To Kill a Mockingbird"
A kind and surprising novel in its atmosphere. Truly for all ages - for children and teenagers about how to grow up, and for adults about how to behave with such tomboys and how not to forget what it is to be a child. After all, we are all so sucked into adult life that there is no time left for childhood. That is why it is necessary to read such books - to read in order to preserve this joyful light within yourself.
The novel is about many things - about goodness and justice, about humanity and racial prejudice. There is no moralizing or annoying didacticism in it. But it naturally leads to the understanding that all people are different and to understand them, you need to stand in their place and look at the world through their eyes.
Why is it difficult for good people to live?
This happens if fate decrees in such a way that the philanthropist is surrounded only by mercantile individuals who shamelessly exploit him and do not intend to leave the person the opportunity to spend resources on his personal tasks.
The life of such a good-natured person can be similar to the duty schedule of an ambulance crew.
That is, there are always people who are suffering , but there is no time to drink tea, relax and, in a figurative sense, look out the window or do something for yourself.
And if in the case of doctors they at least have a salary, then philanthropists very often have only internal comfort from the feeling that they did the right thing and at the behest of their heart. But often there is no time for yourself. And resources too.
A person may suffer for his own responsiveness for the following reasons:
- Doesn't know how to refuse requests. And the ranks of petitioners are not getting smaller. And if you do not know how to resist abuses on this basis, there is a risk of losing the opportunity to live your life.
- The peculiarity of the character does not allow one to remain indifferent to other people’s problems, which is why there is no strength left to solve one’s own problems .
- Good-natured people often sacrifice free time , some material values, hobbies, and even relationships for the sake of the interests of other people.
- Those who have repeatedly received help from a specific person and decided that this was predetermined from above, over time begin to consider the process of fulfilling his request as obligatory and even self-evident. As a result, the “clump” of responsibilities grows, and the one who constantly agrees to the offer of a friendly shoulder loses physical or mental, and sometimes all of his strength.
- In case of refusal, which, by the way, is a rare occurrence among good people, individuals who have not received benefits may begin to show indignation and be sadly surprised at the injustice of the world. Sometimes they even begin to persecute the “impertinent” one, demonstrating the “best” qualities of human character in general.
- In response to help, not everyone even says a simple thank you . And although some good-natured people do not ask for laudatory odes in their honor, verbal gratitude is expected by many on a subconscious level.
- Without good deeds, a person feels that he is living against his nature and is upset because of this, blaming himself for callousness and selfishness.
- Relatives may not share the philanthropy of their kind household member and give him unpleasant executions for each individual case of helping someone that they become aware of. Even in cases where they themselves do not suffer in any way from the act.
- It is not uncommon that after repeatedly helping someone in the past, a person finds himself in a difficult situation and learns that no one wants to help him .
And this factor, sometimes, has a much greater negative effect than the predicament created.
"Matilda" - Roald Dahl
If you want to stay unpunished, never do anything halfway. Go ahead and stop at nothing. Make everyone think that everything you do is so incredible that it is simply impossible to believe.
When little Matilda discovers that she is being bullied by her family and her evil teacher, she refuses to listen to them and tries to spend more time in the library. “Books transported her to new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived interesting lives. Without leaving her small room and without even leaving the city, she traveled all over the world.” Every evening she devours books that teach her the meaning of love and kindness. She displays these traits when she supports her friend Bruce, saves her classmates from the teacher's wrath, and comes up with a plan to save Miss Honey from her tyrant aunt. Despite the fact that Matilda is a very small girl, she has enormous power, and through her disobedience she changes this world.
Have a sensitive heart
To feel empathy for someone, you must show compassion. With empathy, your compassion begins in your soul and goes beyond sadness. You internalize the thoughts, feelings and experiences of someone else.
To make it clearer, let's give an example. Imagine the situation. You feel sympathy when you see a homeless woman sitting in the cold with her child. You'll probably think, “How sad. She must be cold." You kindly offer her a cup of coffee and continue your day as if nothing had happened.
Now let's imagine a different situation. You see a homeless woman sitting in the cold with her child and notice the despair on the mother's face. You can imagine how hard it must be to sit in the cold all day to get even a little money for food. You imagine what the poor woman might be thinking, imagine yourself sitting in the place of a mother with a child, feeling the cold in your body, hoping that your child does not get sick. You transfer the situation onto yourself, although in fact you are looking at what is happening through the window of a warm car. This is called empathy.
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You can even offer to spend the night at your house or give them some money for food. To be a kind person, you must have empathy.
№8 (569) / February 22 '10
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Word from His Holiness Patriarch Kirill after the statutory morning service at the Donskoy Monastery on Thursday of the first week of Lent.
In order for a person to have the strength to overcome vices, he must not only fight sin, but also cultivate virtue in himself. And there are two indispensable conditions that must be fulfilled in order for a person’s soul to be filled with virtue. A person is formed as a personality in communication with other people. If a person is placed in complete isolation from birth, then he will not develop as a person. Communication is a very important factor not only in mental but also in spiritual development. That is why it is so important that from early childhood a child is surrounded by kind people, first of all, parents and family members. If a child does not see an example of a good life in the family, then he will not be a kind person, because nothing teaches like a living example.
But adults are also largely influenced by those around them. Consciously or unconsciously, we absorb thoughts, words, behavior, way of thinking. And even if we don’t agree with something, constant communication leaves a very definite imprint on us. That is why it is very important that there are no evil people in our environment. St. John Chrysostom speaks wonderfully about this: “Evil people cause more harm than poisonous snakes, because these openly inflict their poison, while others daily and covertly infect.” Indeed, such people, sometimes hidden from us, can systematically poison our consciousness, influencing our will and our feelings. The same Saint John Chrysostom says: “Just as sick eyes infect healthy ones, just as a leper infects a clean person, so an evil person infects a spiritually healthy person.”
This is why paying attention to our surroundings is very important in the matter of spiritual growth. It is not for nothing that the word of God says: Take away the evil from you, samekh (1 Cor. 5:13). And the Church, through its discipline, tried in every possible way to protect the Christian community from the influence of evil people. It is well known that overcoming evil influence is carried out through admonition. And if admonition is ineffective, if admonition does not bring good fruit, then the Lord commands that such people be cut off from fellowship. And human wisdom is largely manifested through the formation of the environment close to us.
But there is one more condition, the observance of which is necessary for spiritual growth: a person should not be idle. Idleness should not be confused with rest. The Lord established the seventh day by His commandment as a day of rest. A person needs it to replenish physical and spiritual strength, and rest is a godly thing. Idleness is a conscious avoidance of all work. Idleness is a kind of vacuum, and the vacuum is always filled, and most often with evil thoughts and evil deeds. Idleness can be compared to the physical state of our body: when we are relaxed, when we do not train our body, when we do not influence it, then it begins to become decrepit and weaker. Idleness is the same: it forms a kind of spiritual weakness, which is most often compensated by evil force.
Both idleness and a person’s environment have a very strong effect on the soul. That is why the holy fathers, teaching us about spiritual growth, pay special attention to ensuring that a person who has taken the path of spiritual growth avoids evil and remains in work, or in prayer, or in rest, which also requires spiritual content. Taught by the wisdom of the patrists, we will try to ascend from strength to strength, especially using for this ascent the wondrous days of the Holy Pentecost, which is given to us in order to mobilize our strength and help us in the fight against sin. Amen.
In other rooms:
Be generous and be willing to lend a helping hand
You don't need to have a lot of money to be generous. It is enough to show a little attention to your loved ones and try to help them if they need it. The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. For many people, your refusal to spend some time with them can be a real blow.
A great way to become kinder is to volunteer. Why don't you join the ranks of those people who help others completely unselfishly, with the best intentions. It is worth noting that nowadays volunteers can provide assistance in a variety of areas. Some help the elderly, some help children. There are groups of volunteers who provide assistance in searching for missing people. Just imagine how important the activities of people who are driven by kindness and compassion are. Why don't you learn from them?
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If you don't feel like volunteering, you can always offer to help the elderly in your area or help tutor children at your local library.
Erlend Lu “Naive. Super"
A very kind and bright book about depression and life crisis. A handsome hero of 25 years old with cute eccentricities and troubles suddenly realized that something was wrong in his life and decided to figure it out, to be alone with himself a little - not so much in the literal sense, but figuratively... He says what he thinks, in what he believes and what he loves.
Often these are very simple things, but they can really bring so much joy: water, a bicycle, an apple tree, a dog...
The book is brilliant in its naivety, it is worth re-reading sometimes to lift your spirits.
Become a conscientious observer
In addition to listening, you must learn to be a conscientious observer. Due to constant busyness and the fast pace of life, we often do not notice what is happening around us. Many people have an innate ability to read other people through their gestures and body language, but for some reason they do not use it.
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Paying attention to the little things is very useful. This will help you recognize the condition of the people around you and understand when they need help. Moreover, if you manage to become a conscientious observer, you will be able to recognize the good and bad around you and make attempts to make our world a better place.
