How to understand that a relationship has exhausted itself? Is a dead end in a relationship a full stop or just a comma?
Relationships are a long road. And the road is rarely smooth throughout the entire journey. And if this article didn’t end up on your computer screen by accident, it means you probably stumbled over one of the potholes along the way. It is at this moment that the question clearly arises: “Should I rise to my feet and move on, or should I give up everything and quit?” The choice is yours. However, this choice is very important, because the decision made will affect not only your life, but also the life of a loved one.
How can you tell if a relationship has reached a dead end or if it’s just a temporary cooling? Is it worth continuing them or would it be more rational to end it? The questions below will help you figure it out. Ask them to yourself, formulate honest answers, and the picture of your future together will become clearer.
Comfort
If a couple, communicating on any topic, especially about intimate matters, does not experience discomfort, this indicates a very strong and trusting relationship. Partners must have common aspirations and develop together. Do not hide anything from each other and understand all the inclinations and desires of your lover. If everything is going wrong in your couple, then this can be considered a wake-up call.
Difficult relationships - why they arise
In life, everything is not as simple as it seems to a person, but everything has its own explanations.
Strong personalities are often unhappy in their personal lives, attracting the “wrong” people. While solving important and complex problems in other areas of their activity, they are less rational about issues related to relationships with their significant other. Even if their partner is not the one they want, they still justify his actions. Most likely, turning a blind eye to incompatibility makes it easier for them to come to terms with their circumstances.
It is also not uncommon for successful people to be in alliances with partners who are much lower than them in terms of education, upbringing, and position in society. But they are the ones who forget about their interests just to preserve what is called a relationship.
Carefree3
Sometimes it happens that while in a serious relationship, a person does not seek to introduce his other half to family and friends. This can only indicate one thing - the person is not in the mood for a long-term relationship, and you are simply a transit point. It is important to understand as early as possible how he lives and what he wants, how he behaves during quarrels. Perhaps your partner is simply looking for a reason to end the relationship and most likely you subconsciously want this too.
Situations when you should say “no” in a relationship
Of course, we all make concessions sometimes in relationships, but there are situations where your answer should definitely be no. And no, this is not up for debate.
It’s worth saying “no” if it concerns personal relationships with relatives
Your partner may not like the way your dad reads the newspaper or the way your mom talks. But he cannot, firstly, speak badly about them. And secondly, somehow influence your relationship with your parents. For example, trying to persuade you to stop communicating with them. Or invite you to visit. In this situation, only you can decide exactly how to build communication with your loved ones. And if he doesn’t get along with them in character, then that’s not your problem.
When your partner doesn't take your interests into account
For example, when it comes to sex. Your partner may constantly suggest and insist that you try something that he really wants (but you don’t really want). If he receives a refusal, he will be offended and make you feel guilty. And so on until you agree. Out of pity or simply because this is the only way all these discussions will finally end. Another example is when a partner offers to go on vacation to wherever he wants. For example, to a ski resort because all his friends will be there. And it doesn’t matter to him that you don’t know how to ski and have been dreaming about the heat for a year now. In such situations, it is especially difficult to say no to your partner. After all, we were always taught that a girl should be flexible. But think about it, were there any situations in your relationship when he put your desires first? If not, then you yourself know what to do.
It's worth saying no when it comes to general finances
Very often, partners who live together begin to maintain a common budget. And they all have money in common. Therefore, if a man wants to invest a large amount of your joint capital in some dubious adventure, you can tell him “no”. Indeed, in this situation, he risks not only his future, but also yours. And if you are not sure that this idea is good, then you can safely insist on your own. Perhaps he will thank you for this later. In addition, a serious conversation may await him if he spends money differently than you originally agreed. For example, instead of buying the vacuum cleaner you were saving up for, you buy yourself new games for the console.
When you realize that you want different things from life
At the beginning of the relationship, the only thing you wanted was to enjoy each other's company. But over time, you realize that behind all this pink tinsel there could be very different views. For example, for the future. He is not eager to have children and a family, but have you dreamed of this since childhood? Or would he like to travel around the world, but is it important for you to settle in one place? Most likely, one day you will still have to talk about it. And maybe this will be the last thing you discuss. But why continue dating a person if your plans for the next 10 years do not coincide? After all, you are simply wasting your time.
If it concerns your health
This is perhaps the most important situation. Because in a relationship, nothing should come before your mental and physical health. If your partner is abusive or violent, it is important to put him in his place in a timely manner. Better yet, say goodbye to this person for good. It is obvious that you will no longer have a healthy relationship with him. And deliberately torturing yourself is unlikely to be part of your plans.
Situations when you should say “no” in a relationship was last modified: December 10, 2020 by Daria Rudakova
Development4
To keep relationships moving, you need to work on them every day, both men and women. After all, if development does not occur, then it is unlikely that anything will change in the future. It is important to develop together, because if one of the couple outgrows the other, there will be no common topics and activities either, which will lead to the collapse of the relationship. The couple begins to live only with memories of the past. At the same time, both the outgrown side suffers, because it is limited in its aspirations and desires, and the second, which is constantly suppressed.
Definitely, by breaking off a relationship, you are taking a serious step that will irrevocably change your life. And it is necessary to understand whether the changes will be positive or not. This can be easily understood. Imagine that you have broken up with your partner and try to carefully analyze your feelings. If the feeling is pleasant, then most likely it’s time to end the relationship.
You can also carry out a reverse psychological technique. Imagine that the relationship is not broken, and try to identify your emotions. If feelings are dominated by depression and despair, then there should be no doubt about ending such a relationship.
Undoubtedly, not everyone decides to take life in a completely different direction and abandon an unloved, but still close person. Therefore, many marriages continue to exist, despite the negative feelings of the spouses towards each other.
The main thing is, having decided to break up, it is important to inform the person personally, and in no case via SMS or a short note on the refrigerator. It also wouldn’t hurt to have an outside opinion, from parents or close friends. This does not mean that you need to follow these tips, but it will not hurt to hear another point of view. Also, do not break off the relationship impulsively after a big quarrel or scandal. The decision must be thoughtful and justified.
During a personal conversation, you should not show negative emotions, much less become hysterical and throw accusations - show respect for the person with whom you have warm and pleasant memories. You should calmly express your point of view and explain how you see life in the future. You shouldn’t give a second chance out of pity, because you must understand that everything will certainly happen again and parting in the future will not be easier.
The main thing is to listen to your inner voice and if it says that you need to change something in your life or relationships, you should definitely listen to it.
Relationships don't develop
Hello! I am 26 years old. My boyfriend is also 26. He works, I’m finishing university. We are, as they say, two boots in a pair, both infantile and live with our parents.
We've been dating for 3.5 years. This is his first serious relationship. I had a boyfriend before him, but essentially there was nothing serious either.
At first, our meetings with the young man were infrequent; we met mostly once a week, sometimes on weekdays. We were both students, hanging out with friends and enjoying student life! In essence, the relationship was more reminiscent of friendship than love, we chatted a lot, got to know each other, made love, but at the same time we both had freedom of action and at that moment I didn’t need anything more.
But the years passed and after two years of relationship, when he graduated from university, I raised the topic of marriage for the first time, to which the young man, to my surprise, replied that he was already planning to propose to me. Then there was the summer, which he spent with relatives abroad, and in the fall he went to work and nothing changed in the relationship, but only got worse. He didn’t make any offer to me and I didn’t raise this topic again. We began to see him less and less, we began to quarrel more often, and for the first time thoughts about breaking up were heard. Then I finally tried to find out, what about the offer, why doesn’t he make it to me? Then he told me that I need another person who can give what I want, who can provide for me, but he cannot yet earn enough to support his family, and he himself does not know when he will be able to. Although I won’t say that he earned little. All he could offer me was to continue our relationship as it was before, if I still needed it. He is a good person, and besides, I know that he is not cheating on me, that he strives, in principle, to make money and is generally positive. Besides, I love him. And I decided that it was worth waiting for him, but I no longer wanted to leave my loved one.
But the desire to have a family became stronger and stronger, many girlfriends started families and had children. And I still continued my incomprehensible and even childish relationship. I still don’t know the guy’s parents; we have never lived together.
And now, after three years of relationship, I realized that they are standing still and not developing. All my attempts to somehow correct the situation do not lead to positive results. The guy refused the offer to live together, because... does not want to live in a “civil marriage”. He also doesn’t respond to my desire to meet his parents. All he currently offers me is to wait. He says he might be following. year he will save money and propose to me. As a matter of fact, it is not yet a fact that this will follow. year, and not after 3 or even 5 years. Because I noticed him that he talks a lot and does little.
Well, I’m just behaving terribly, constantly terrorizing him with the topic of marriage, one way or another all my conversations and discussions come down to this favorite topic. How well my friends live in marriage, what a wonderful child my friend has, how much I want all this, etc. I simply can’t not talk about this topic anymore, the boiling point has been reached and I’m only ruining our relationship with my whining.
And my question is, how can I calm down and live in peace, without talking about marriage with him at all and without bothering him with this topic? And I would also like to know if my boyfriend is messing with me, judging by his behavior, maybe I shouldn’t believe his words and talking about a proposal is just an attempt to keep me, but in fact he doesn’t need anything?
Relationships do not develop, do not move forward (2 answers)
What can you learn from such a situation?
When you firmly understand that nothing happens on its own in your life, then you will receive an answer to many ambiguities. After all, all the people you meet are sent into your life for some purpose. Even those that create difficulties and deprive you of balance.
No matter how difficult a relationship may be, for some higher purpose it is necessary for both you and your partner. But sometimes it's hard to understand. It's better to just accept it as inevitable.
The connection with your partner may stretch from a past life and for some reason the karmic trace has penetrated into your present. So now you will have to end that relationship that has been going on for so long. What the end will be is up to you. This can be either a breakup, with all the i’s dotted, or a long and happy union with this person.
But in any case, you should not forever tolerate your partner’s bad behavior or, even worse, violence.
Difficulties in relationships. How complex should they be?
In our age of information, we can find out and study almost everything, including the psychology of relationships between a man and a woman. But for some reason, many women, theoretically knowing how to build relationships, do not apply this knowledge in practice. That is, there is a huge amount of knowledge in their heads, but in reality they do not have good and strong relationships.
We can conclude that knowing too much is harmful and often excess knowledge does not help, but, on the contrary, hinders. There is no point in going from one training to another, accumulating knowledge, but not applying it in life. Moreover, information from different coaches may be different, and all these contradictions become tangled into one ball in which you can get confused.
As a result, the woman begins to build difficult relationships, constantly thinking and controlling herself. Because she builds relationships from the mind, not from the heart. She doesn’t feel what is right and what is wrong, but she thinks that this is right, but this is not. As a result, there are only thoughts about the relationship, and not the relationship itself. The mind often prevents the body from simply feeling, simply sensing and going in the right direction, because the body always knows the answers to all questions and it does not need the mind for this.
