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Category: Video, Relationships with a girl, Psychology
Probably one of the most inspiring goals for any guy/man is the desire to build a relationship with the girl of his dreams.
But at the same time, such a goal requires a lot of time, effort and, of course, the necessary knowledge on how to build these very relationships. Because compared to a short romance or an open “relationship,” a real strong union is not so easy to build. But at the same time, having special knowledge, it is quite possible to do this.
Let's go through all the main stages of achieving this goal that inspires all men. First of all, you, of course, must clearly understand...
What is a relationship?
Let's start with the most important question, which is not always understood by young people: what is a love relationship? It seems as if a love union begins when two partners meet and decide to be together. In reality, everything is much more complicated. In a love relationship, the main thing is not just to find each other and unite under the influence of passions, but also to find a common language, accept each other with all the advantages and disadvantages, understand the partner and learn to coexist with him, especially when disagreements and contradictions arise.
A love relationship is the union of two people who want to be together and learn to get along together. Since a guy and a girl are initially different from each other in some ways, conflicts can naturally arise between them. A quarrel is a difference in opinions and desires, which is natural if people are different. The guy wants one thing, and the girl wants another. If you learn to live peacefully even with different desires, interests and habits, then it is truly about love.
Relationships are the efforts of both partners. It is not just one who tries to develop, preserve and protect them, but both. A guy must learn one thing: if he tries to please a girl, but she won’t do anything for him, then it’s better to break up with her. She does not build a relationship, but takes advantage of the fact that the guy wants to be with her. At any opportunity, such a girl will leave for another in order to build a relationship with him, invest in it, develop it.
Friendship between girls
Even if we take into account the competitive psychology of girls, they are still capable of peaceful existence and interaction. Friendship is very important to them. There may be many friends, but there are always several close friends with whom they have very strong relationships, built on understanding and trust. Such friendship is long-lasting, and sometimes it lasts forever. Girls who become best friends, according to statistics, have different but compatible characters. They also have common interests and views on life. They often quarrel, but still come to the same opinion. A girl who has one best friend is morally stronger and more resilient in difficulties than one who has many “just friends.”
Everyone strives for friendship, even the most selfish people. The more friends you have, the more comfortable it is to be in society. Find your best friends, meet and start making friends with many people - there will be fewer enemies. Be friendly, but surround yourself with understanding and loyal friends. The more friends you have, the less nerves you will spend in your life, the more joyful and easier your life will be.
Say goodbye to past relationships
You need to enter into a new relationship when you are no longer grieving or remembering the past. You need to choose the same girl as your partner. She should not grieve and be nostalgic for her ex-boyfriends, otherwise this will indicate that she is not building a relationship with you, but is simply getting rid of loneliness until her ex wants to return to her again.
It is impossible to build a new house without destroying the old one to the foundation. Therefore, in everything that concerns your relationship, start by completely getting rid of everything that you no longer need.
Many people cannot start living a new life because they continue to carry things from the old into it. They feel sorry for throwing away what they once liked, parting with people who were once friends, leaving a job they once liked. But you should answer yourself one question: do you need this in your new life? If, when imagining yourself living a new life, you do not see your current job, some of your current friends, your former loved one or some things, then get rid of it without regret. It is impossible to start living differently until you give up what does not fit into it. If you don't need something, get rid of it. Make room for new things that you want to have.
Remember what children do when they realize that they have become a little more mature and have outgrown the toys they once played with. They refuse them, no matter how dear they are to them. Even new things become unnecessary for them if they understand that they have already outgrown them and want to play, wear, and surround themselves only with what is relevant for their age.
Why don't you do the same? Life goes on, and every day can be the starting point when you throw out everything from your life that will not be present in the new life you want to live. It is clear that you feel sorry for throwing away some things, stopping communicating with some people, giving up what was once interesting. But if none of this fits into the life you want to live, then you need to give it up.
While you keep the old and unnecessary, you continue to live in a way that is no longer interesting and fun for you. But when you finally decide to give up unnecessary things, junk, people, places that do not fit into the picture of your new life, where you will be happy and content, then you will speed up the process of realizing your desire. Allow yourself to live the way you want.
To build new relationships, you need to get rid of memories and nostalgia for past connections. This applies to both guys and girls.
How to build a relationship with a girl correctly
Once you have found and seduced the girl of your dreams, your relationship with her becomes like a house of cards. One wrong action (movement) and it falls apart. And this fragile substance requires special care (control) and knowledge.
Most often, this control consists of skillful management of the balance of importance. To build truly high-quality relationships, the importance of both partners must be equally high. So high that you both become confident in your future together.
To control the balance of significance, you will need your powers of observation. If you notice that you have begun to initiate meetings and conversations more often, and have begun to invest more in her than she does, then you need to slow down a little.
And if at the same time she has lost a little interest (accordingly, she initiates meetings less, and you do not see her enthusiasm in communicating with you), then this is the first sign that the balance has shifted in her direction. Accordingly, you need to change your behavior strategy
. Perhaps a little cool towards her. Notice that I said lightly, i.e. in our case, this means less frequent calls, and sometimes even disappearing for a couple of days (if you communicate with her every day). And to answer her question, just say that you were busy/not in the mood, etc.
And such a sharp “cooling” is a necessary measure, which it is better not to take at all
.
Also, you must combine two “types” of men: a lover and a friend.
The first one attracts, excites and makes the pastime emotionally rich. The second one will listen, show care and affection, and support when necessary.
By the way, many pick-up artists advise ending the conversation immediately if a girl starts complaining. In principle, this is correct. But when a girl starts complaining in the format of a story about herself, her childhood, then this is a sign that she is opening up to you.
My experience and the experience of other seduction coaches tells me that you should be more of a lover than a friend.
. Moreover, the first should clearly dominate the second. But don’t forget about the second one either 
Relationships of convenience
Thinking and wanting to have a relationship based on love, many can be disappointed when they realize that they want to take advantage of them. However, not all relationships can be unambiguously called “based on convenience,” since, by and large, even loving people are guided by calculation.
Any love relationship is based on calculation. How should we feel about this? It all depends on what kind of calculation it is. Many young guys base their calculation on the opportunity to have sex often and a lot. Girls want to have access to other people's money, spend it on themselves, and also brag about having boyfriends.
If there is love between partners, then you can ignore the calculation. Naturally, a person seeks profit. If he did not need anything from another person, then he would not have a relationship with him. However, even in the presence of love, we can say that people expect, expect or demand something from their partners. The same thing happens on the other side: partners meet people for a reason, they also impose certain expectations and requirements on them in order to receive some benefit.
It is quite normal if people unite with love and with a certain calculation, when there is a benefit. However, relationships will not be entirely healthy if one or both partners build them only by calculation. If a girl is ready to be with anyone, but with money, and a guy just wants to have sex, even if his partner is not interesting to him, then such a relationship will not last long.
Calculation is normal, because no adult is obliged to forget about his needs and desires that he wants to realize in a relationship. However, calculation should be in second place after love, not vice versa.
When should you have sex?
Girls always have the question of when to “give” to guys. For the stronger sex, the question of sex arises only when he does not want to scare away the fair half with his “lustful” desires. When should you have sex - before a relationship, after it starts, or after registering a marriage?
If previously a guy could only get sex after marriage, today this is no longer relevant. It is better to have sex almost at the very beginning of the relationship, so as not to destroy the union due to the discrepancy between the sexuality of the partners.
All girls are different. A guy may like someone, but at the same time not be as relaxed and sexy in bed as he would like. Not all beautiful girls will satisfy you in bed. In order not to part with them, you need to find out what they are like sexually as soon as possible.
You should have sex as soon as you start a love relationship. We are not talking about a first date (although if the girl doesn’t mind, then you can sleep with her). It is better to have sex when you feel sympathy for the girl and notice a response on her part. To understand whether you can build a serious relationship with her, it is better to have sex with her as quickly as possible. This is the only way you will understand whether you will have problems in this regard with a girl or not.
The second time will happen much faster. Just before the first time, the girl hesitates for a long time and refuses. But if it happened once, then the second sex will happen quickly enough.
Candy-bouquet period
A young man must make a first impression on a young lady; this is the only way to hope for a continuation. But, you shouldn’t go too far and show qualities that are unusual for you. How long can you pretend? If a girl understands that such actions are not really inherent in you, she will, to put it mildly, be disappointed.
Be confident in yourself, every woman is pleased to see a man next to her who will solve all her problems. To do this, you need to get rid of existing complexes and constantly work on yourself. At the same time, remain yourself so as not to end up in a stupid position.
Forget about the cliched phrases that guys use to attract the girls they like. Be original and stand out from the crowd. There is no need to embellish reality. Honesty and sincerity are the main components of a strong relationship with a girl, tell her the truth and nothing but the truth, and soon she will begin to trust you as herself.
Show signs of attention, give flowers, pleasant little things. From the first days of dating, you should not buy her expensive things. The lady of your heart may think that you are bribing her with such gifts. This will scare her away, and she will switch her attention to a less persistent admirer.
Gradually become a part of her life, demonstrate to her your good qualities in order to crowd out all possible competitors. The main thing is not to cross the line where attention and tender feelings turn into obsession.
Criteria for choosing a girl
Do not forget that you need to choose a girl for a love relationship according to the criteria that you desire. All people, consciously or unconsciously, have wishes about what kind of partners they would like to see next to them. Undoubtedly, this list of criteria can be huge and sometimes unrealistic. However, its absence is much worse than its presence.
First, honestly answer the question of what kind of girl you would like to see next to you.
- What should she look like?
- What character traits must she have?
- How should she view the world?
- What flaws are you willing to put up with (don’t forget that absolutely every girl has flaws, you just have to choose which ones you’re willing to put up with)?
- What should she be like in bed?
- What are you ready to do for her, so that she, for her part, wants to please you and fulfill your desires and needs?
- How are you going to build relationships? What kind of relationship do you want to have with her?
General psychology of behavior of girls among other girls
Psychologically, every girl is constantly hostile to the girls and women around her. Why is this happening? The most important reason is attention. Girls have a particularly pronounced desire to be significant among the people around them: family, friends, study, work.
The developed system for assessing preliminary rivals influences further relationships between girls.
Between themselves, girls psychologically evaluate each other’s competitiveness on the following points:
- Male attention - the more men and guys in your social circle, the higher your competitiveness.
- Female attention – more girlfriends = more guys around you = bigger company = more people supporting you.
- Appearance – beauty is a girl’s main weapon in the fight for attention. Stylishness and the ability to present oneself are at this point.
- Wallet size – this often influences the above points.
- A girl’s behavior is how she evaluates herself.
- The girl’s talents and her achievements in different areas of life.
Believe me, girls think about these points every day. Before leaving the house, he will look in the mirror, evaluate his attractiveness and go to conquer and win attention.
Girls very rarely “fight” alone. As a rule, single girls are not competition. The girls are friends with each other and group into small groups. Together they help each other achieve their goals. Such groups are characterized by common interests. Basically, with healthy competition, ladies behave harmoniously. As soon as they feel like a stronger rival or vice versa, the behavior takes on more aggressive shades. Often this spoils the reputation and lowers it gradually on all points of evaluation.
Despite all these direct statements, psychology is often adjusted by the individuality of the girl herself. National culture has a great influence on the psychology of behavior of girls, as well as on every person.
