Author: Maxim Potashev
Men, even the bravest ones, are sometimes terribly shy in front of the woman they like. They can’t even put two words together, or even look at it. But how can you start a relationship with a girl if you are shy by nature, so you can miss out on your happiness? Our article was written just for indecisive guys.
How important is the first impression?
The feelings we leave after the first meeting are unforgettable for both. It’s an art to be able to present yourself. When a guy makes an acquaintance, it is important for him to evoke the right emotions in the target.
And here everyone tries as best they can:
- Original jokes;
- Inimitable appearance;
- Chivalrous deeds;
All sorts of methods available to the gentleman are used. But don't forget: you can miss
. Girls are different, and guessing what this particular one will like is not always easy.
For the first time, follow simple rules of politeness:
- Well-groomed appearance;
- Attractive manners;
- Polite actions;
- Beautiful speech.
It is difficult to surprise modern princesses with an expensive gadget or high achievements in a new game. Well-read, smart guys attract them much more. You can interest her with a quote from “The Master and Margarita,” for example. It is also important to take care of your appearance and exercise regularly.
In this video, psychologist Arthur Vorobyov will give 5 unusual but effective tips on how to start a dialogue with the girl you like:
I can't start a relationship with a girl.
Question for a psychologist:
I want to hear the answer, I don’t know if it will help me. But what if. I became unhappy. I finished my studies, went to work, and began to receive my achievements with varying degrees of success. Over time, my friends moved away, and I realized that I wanted a relationship, a loved one. But nothing comes of it to me, from words at all. During my student years, I didn’t actually have a relationship with the opposite sex, it wasn’t something catastrophic in my understanding, because I didn’t want to get into this kind of trouble when I had friends around, there was an opportunity to go for a walk and have fun. Well, my friends were also the same, not all, but most. I can’t say that I didn’t like anyone, I did. But it was not mutual, as I understand it, because I did not receive any response to my steps of attention. Now the situation is absolutely the same, no matter who I try to meet, I receive either a refusal, or offers to be friends, or nothing at all. It's not 1 and 2 or 4 times. Already 7 times. I take care of myself, I don’t have bad habits, I have a higher education, I have a hobby - I’m a good guy! Although I was mocked that I was a little timid, but you never know what they say, because this is me. I am who I am. I'm not perfect from this. That is, I do not have an ideal appearance, I am small, not the bravest person in the world. I think that I have a bad appearance, I’m thin, plus if I’m really a little timid, then this gives me the feeling of a loser, but there is no one to confirm the opposite, and since many have convinced me of this, then this is the case. It’s hard for me to live with this, I feel like I’m in a vicious circle. You can go to the gym, etc., but believe me, I don’t like it. If I have anything to do, it’s studying English, or something intellectual - physical strength is not my thing, I don’t want to break myself over the knee. Perhaps my bar is too high, and I don’t meet it; by a strange coincidence, those who had a bad appearance, objectively (bad teeth, obesity, etc.) just paid attention to me, but what should I do now - despair and take it? , what “could” accept? Nothing good will come of this, and it doesn't need to be better. Although many guys do the same. They take first the higher, and then what agrees. It’s not that I’m proud, but it won’t lead to anything good, I’ve already tried it. I feel very bad alone, I want to howl like a wolf. He may engage in self-improvement, although I will not change myself, I also understood that. So what to do? Wait for yours? Or maybe I don’t see something important, right under my nose and I’m wasting time?
Question author: Maxim Age: 22
How to find a common language with a girl?
Then the hard part begins. If you managed to make an impression, she allowed you to walk home, gave you a phone number, you need to figure out what to talk about when you meet, how to talk and how much, so as not to ruin everything. After all, you don’t know her yet.
Feel free to ask questions, for example:
- What are your hobbies?
- What kind of music does he listen to?
- How do you spend your free time?
Just don’t be too assertive; calmly find out everything during the communication process.
Don't worry if she likes you
, she will answer sincerely and ask her own questions. After all, she will also want to interest you.
But when there is no conversation, there are constant pauses, painful silence, what to do? Don't panic, don't jump to conclusions. Perhaps she is shy, afraid to start a conversation first. You are a man, take on the awkward moment, dispel the melancholy: joke, give a compliment. Even if things don’t work out later, this evening must be completed with dignity.
Be romantic and fun
Girls love romantic things, so it was and probably will be. Even the most ironclad ones melt on a date filled with an unusual atmosphere. It is not necessary to get stars from the sky. Get by with the mundane little things:
- Give an unusual bouquet, for example, collected yourself from wildflowers;
- Write poetry;
- Take a boat ride.
Who likes what. There are original women, you won’t surprise them with flowers, she needs:
- Take him for a walk on the rooftops;
- Learn to drive a car or motorcycle;
- Invite to play paintball;
- Or an extreme bike ride, outside the city, through the forest, to an abandoned estate.
It’s clear - everything is individual, but you will have to be romantic and it is advisable not to give up this habit when you have become closer and have been together for more than one month. And girls also love funny people.
Everyone knows: the best chance is not for the guy who wears designer jeans, but for the one who knows how to make you laugh.
Why relationships between a woman and a man can be so difficult
People meet, people fall in love... At first they are sure that no one has ever loved anyone so much, it will last forever. However, after a couple of months or years, tenderness and affection give way to scandals and irritation. A bitter aftertaste remains on the soul.
Why do relationships that started out so romantic develop into downright complicated ones? After all, it all started so promisingly.
To always sparkle
What is the first thing that comes to your mind when we hear “relationship”? Most first of all thought about interaction at the physical level. Although the connection between two people is not always just about sex.
I will not discover America if I say that relationships built on one ardent passion quickly burn out. Someone who seemed practically holy, after a certain period appears to be completely earthly with a lot of shortcomings. Girls cry to their girlfriends, men understand each other very well over a glass of “tea”.
Why is this so, because people find each other to give and receive pleasant sensations? At the beginning, joy flows, then the partners try to squeeze at least a drop out of each other. Until the spring dries up completely.
Whether we want it or not, whether we realize it or not, we are growing up every day. It is today, in the present moment, that we need understanding. The relationship between a man and a woman is multifaceted. If the connection is only about satisfying the physiological process, you will soon feel your teeth set on edge.
Whether you are young or old enough, it is important to think about giving joy instead of forcibly squeezing pleasure out of someone. Otherwise, the partner will be left with a dry residue.
It will not be possible to pretend to be princesses who are not funny, waiting for a magical hero who will destroy sadness and melancholy and make you laugh. We are not in a fairy tale, and we are not princesses. Happiness is not a mineral resource that must be looked for on the side. The feeling of joy must be cultivated within oneself, then given to others.
There is a category of people who are gloomy, always dissatisfied. But there is another category that is light and bright. They simply find the answer to a seemingly complex life question and everything turns out joyfully for them. This doesn't mean you have to constantly make jokes and try to be funny. You need to make sure that joy fills you from the inside to the brim. It will be enough for you, your loved ones, just your acquaintances.
Why relationships fail
The relationship does not lie on one plane; there are a lot of points of contact, edges and sides between people. When a couple is together, they share everyday life, recreation, material issues, raising children, views and more. It does not happen that upon contact there is only smooth sliding; sometimes friction occurs. This is fine.
It’s bad when relationships are built from the consumer side. When the position is consumerist, then complaints and indignation begin.
It is also destructive to give yourself completely without reserve, forgetting about your desires, stepping on self-respect. If a person is at peace with himself, it is easy for him to find a common language with everyone. Inner joy and harmony will allow you to have excellent contact with any character. There are no clashes and sparks, there is agreement and sympathy.
Remember, when people do something nice for you, it comes out of their own desire. Friends, our loved one is next to us not out of a sense of duty, but because they enjoy it. Then no one needs to look for any excuses: “No time, busy.” There will be people who don’t want to be around, that’s their right.⠀
Don't forget that those around you are different from you, they are different. You just have to accept this fact, period.
Where love hides
Agree, people in love adore everything: from a bug to a cloud. It seems to them that those around them are smiling, the birds are singing especially for them, even the sun is shining individually. When cats scratch at your soul, then everything irritates you, any word, knock, even the sound of the sea.
There are a lot of men and women around, but only one of them becomes the object of adoration specifically for you. Love is a wonderful emotion, without it life is pale and unbearable. This feeling does not float in the air, it does not rain on your head. Love flares up inside.
Remember the old mechanical toys: cockerels, bunnies, cars? They were set in motion by a key, which was used to wind the winding mechanism. Now children have a sea of all kinds of fancy toys. When you press the control panel or just a button, they talk, sing songs, ask questions, drive, fly. It's great that technology does not stand still, that our children have so many impressive and educational toys.
We easily cope with the most complex technical devices, but we ourselves do not always know how to control our emotions. We need someone to give us happiness, to awaken love.
Love is not looked for on the street, it is not pulled out of another person, it should turn on automatically. I opened my eyes in the morning, my heart was already full of tender sympathy. To “start” us there should be no assistants, pushers, or winding mechanisms. It’s high time to integrate this option into your body.
Partnerships are a purely individual thing.
It is impossible to teach “how to properly” be in a couple. I will share my rules, developed over many years. If it responds to you, take these tips into your arsenal.
- Thank your man sincerely for being by your side. Tolerates, loves, shares joy and difficulties. Do this mentally and on an empty stomach).
- Be sure to thank him out loud every day: how much you appreciate him, how much you love him, how great, confident, and fun it is to be with him.
- Delete all claims, no one owes anyone anything.
- Love your spouse, friend unconditionally. Not because he did anything.
- My man has the right to be different. He has a different character and habits. Sometimes it’s worth forgetting about everyday life, for the sake of harmony and love.
- Know what is important to your spouse in a relationship, ask him about it. Women and men have different priorities and ideas. Sometimes a girl thinks that a guy needs a super cook and housewife. In the conversation it turns out that he prefers to watch football together or go fishing).
- Ask your partner how he sees manifestations of love in a couple. Then don’t forget to demonstrate your affection in a way that he understands.
No one should organize love and happiness for us. This understanding alone frees you from disappointment. We will work through many deep-seated issues and negative attitudes together during the trainings.
If you want to improve your relationships, register for a free master class and live in the Flow.
Follow the link and register
Care and trust
Women remain small at heart throughout their lives. A caring man nearby is the key to a good mood and a reliable shoulder. But it must be sincere attention. It is especially visible in the little things. Holding the door, offering your hand, giving up your seat is a normal manifestation of etiquette.
However, there are times when caring comes as a surprise. For example, if you work or study together and she is sick and coughs a lot. And you, seeing this, without asking anything, bring cough medicine to class. Believe me, this gesture will surprise her. Especially if no one paid attention to you before.
Trust is also important
. Show that you can be trusted. While we are not talking about serious matters, the first impression is formed from simple things, including you. And don’t frighten her with jealousy.
Some girls love it when their partner shows jealousy, but not all. In any case, everything should be in moderation. As a joke, if you plan to communicate, you can show symptoms, but don’t overdo it
.
Secrets behind seven seals3
A lot is said about trust within a couple. Young people pompously trumpet this at every corner. But it is quite natural that everyone has their own skeletons in their closet. At the same time, everyone has the right to immunity. Problems begin when you don’t want to talk about simple things: where you went, what you bought, who called. The appearance of little secrets, more like lies, is an alarm bell for lovers.
A little liar always turns into a big one. It grows like a snowball. It’s sad to watch people who have duplicate accounts, second SIM cards and other “bells and whistles” of another life. The presence of betrayal is not at all necessary; a person simply does not want to let someone into his life. And if this someone becomes a partner, it’s sad.
It’s no less sad when endless surveillance begins. Anyone can imagine themselves as Sherlock Holmes. And no one is immune from this. The question is: why does the desire for total control arise? Did your partner give you a reason? The stigma itself is in shambles, which means there is no trust in your loved one? There are many factors, and all of them are not unfounded. The only reason is a fading relationship.
How to find a good girl?
To each his own and what one doesn’t like may suit another – an old truth that has not lost its relevance to this day. There are no bad girls and men. There are people who are suitable for each other, whose interests and attitudes to life coincide. It is not always possible to find such a person quickly.
Particularly selective ones sometimes look for gray hairs. Therefore, in order not to grow old alone, it is important to abandon ideals and pay attention to those around you.
And of course you will have to move, not sit at the computer from morning to morning, but take a walk, for example:
- To the theater or museum. Many women go there for the same purpose;
- To the park. They say: the strongest acquaintances are made on the street;
- To thematic seminars;
- Ethnic festivals;
- Bike rides;
- To the climbing wall.
Fatal encounters occur in unexpected places. In fact, the question is not where, but how to keep her attention and make an impression if you manage to make an acquaintance.
All women are beautiful and good, each in their own way. It is difficult not only to make acquaintances, but to find out which one is yours. But this will become clear only after a few meetings. You have to make mistakes and start again, try, try. And for this, there should no longer be a question of how to start a relationship with a girl in any place and condition, otherwise the choice will fall on the first person you meet due to indecision and fears.
The need for love in men
Promiscuous sexual intercourse and short-term romances are motivated by sexual instinct and do not involve building a relationship. Such relationships are chosen by people who are immature or unprepared for serious feelings.
If a man has succeeded as a person, he seeks, finds, and builds strong and harmonious relationships with one and only woman.
The natural needs for love in men are the need to:
trust on the part of the woman; accepting it as it is; recognition and appreciation; admiration for him; approval of actions and words; encouragement in the form of expressions of love.
Harmonious and long-lasting relationships are always the work of two people. This is not only the ability to receive the benefits of love, but the ability to give them.
You need to cultivate the need to take care of relationships, work on them to maintain love and prevent conflicts.
