Today, alcoholism ceases to be a purely male problem and affects female representatives. Women of different ages and social classes are susceptible to alcoholism, and the cause of this phenomenon is heredity, psychological trauma or depression. Drinking destroys relationships and affects the entire family, but it is especially difficult for children if their mother drinks alcohol. Coping with this scourge can be very difficult, and it is necessary to try all possible methods to get the woman to stop drinking.
Harm of alcohol to the fetus
Studies have shown that the unprotected fetus suffers the most from a drinking woman. A pregnant woman who drinks alcohol does not even realize the harm she is doing to her unborn child, who has a weakened immune system due to alcohol and may be born with diseases such as:
- congenital physical pathologies;
- tendency to various diseases;
- mental disorders;
- developmental deviations.
It turns out that long before it is born, the fetus already bears all the consequences of alcohol, and the innocent, little unborn man is already suffering from the fact that his mother drinks. And this becomes the beginning of a ruined childhood, and in some cases, the whole life.
Naturally, the kids can't do anything to help their alcoholic mother. And this only aggravates the problem, because they “understand” that mom needs help.
Deprivation of parental rights
Unfortunately, in particularly advanced cases of maternal alcoholism, one day there comes a time when the mother is recognized as unable to independently care for the children. The initiative to deprive parental rights can come from both the father and other relatives.
Having collected evidence in the form of certificates of alcoholism or being detained by the police while intoxicated, as well as testimony from the guardianship authorities, the relative can go to court.
The case will necessarily include evidence indicating that the mother cannot raise the child - for example, filmed beatings, or a diagnosed nervous disorder.
Recognizing the problem and promptly contacting doctors will help save the family and protect a new generation of people from the terrible consequences of parental alcoholism.
Child and drinking mother
A mother is the closest and closest person to a child. It is practically irreplaceable for children, especially before adolescence. And the baby is sure that his mother will protect him, hug him, kiss him and calm him down if something happens. However, everything changes when she starts drinking.
And even in the case when an alcoholic does not cause physical injuries to her children, she will not be able to protect them from psychological ones. After all, when the mother starts drinking, the baby does not understand what changes have happened to her: he only sees that the mother smells bad, that she no longer hugs or kisses him, but screams and even spanks him all the time.
The daily degradation of a loved one, who has been perceived as support, example and protection all his life, becomes the cause of terrible psychological trauma, which affects the psyche.
And even in the case when the child does not outwardly show signs of any trauma, he still needs psychological help.
Treatment methods for alcoholism
If a woman drinks, the best thing to do is take her to a professional narcologist. It is necessary to understand that an independent fight against drunkenness rarely ends in success, especially if a person has been abusing alcohol for several years. There are several ways to combat this addiction. The technique is selected by a specialist, based on the woman’s age, health status and stage of addiction.
Specialist consultation
Treatment can be carried out using the following methods:
- Medication. Therapy involves taking medications that cleanse the body of ethanol breakdown products. Afterwards, medications are prescribed to normalize the functioning of internal organs and systems. Depending on the stage of alcoholism and the patient’s condition, coding can then be carried out.
- Psychological. The effect of drug therapy can be enhanced through psychological influence. During consultations, the psychologist gradually convinces the patient that another drink drunk can ultimately lead to irreversible consequences. It also helps a woman take a different look at what is happening, re-establish contact with family and friends, and adapt to society;
- Coding. If mom drinks every day, there is no alternative to this method of struggle. Most often, coding is carried out by torpedoing - a special ampoule with a drug is sewn under the patient’s skin, which blocks the production of enzymes responsible for processing alcohol. If a woman breaks down and gets drunk, there will be an immediate response, accompanied by vomiting, dizziness, fever, tachycardia, gastrointestinal dysfunction, and blurred vision.
Teenager and drinking mother
Gradually growing up in such a family, becoming a teenager, the child can already influence the mother and set an example of correct behavior. And often a heavy burden falls on the fragile shoulders of teenagers: caring for a mother who is in a state of hangover, and difficult attempts to persuade her to start treatment.
As anyone can guess, in such conditions a child is forced to grow up very quickly. At the age of 11–13 years, he already knows how not to provoke the aggression of a drunken mother and how to provide first aid to her if necessary. That is why it is important that other family members can help the child learn two important rules:
- Never give in to your mother's requests to give her alcohol - teenagers often fall under the manipulation of an alcoholic who easily convinces a vulnerable child that the child himself is to blame for her condition. Alcoholics are masters of manipulation and easily scare children with their death if they do not receive alcohol. It is important to explain to the child that each new dose further aggravates the problem, making it more serious.
- Do not take on all the responsibility - it is natural for every child to want to take care of his mother, to do everything to make her feel good and to make her happy, at least for a short time. However, if you constantly create comfortable conditions for an alcoholic, it will become an addiction, and it will be impossible to make a woman want to quit drinking. After all, the children do all the work for her and even look after her, so why change their lifestyle and make any efforts. Yes, this also has a bad effect on the children themselves, because because of all this they have no time for themselves, study, or games. So it is necessary to limit the responsibility of children.
And for this, outside help is needed; if there are no adults in the family where the mother drinks, then relatives must intervene in the matter. Otherwise, this condition is dangerous both for children and for the drinker herself.
Causes of female drunkenness
Why such a special attitude towards the female sex, since everyone’s body functions according to the same principle? No. Representatives of the fairer sex are still weaker, since their enzyme that breaks down ethyl alcohol is in lower concentration. This leads to girls getting drunk faster and getting used to alcohol at the same speed.
People around him believe that the cause of drunkenness is a bottle of vodka or cognac, as well as weakness of character. It is a myth. In a drunken whirlpool, people want to hide from problems, responsibility, pain and their helplessness. So, they try to drown out their thoughts so as not to think and hurt their heart. And if men are more restrained emotionally, then even the smallest trifle can throw a woman off balance.
The irritating factor will constantly gnaw at a person, and alcohol can somehow protect against this. Therefore, only solving this reason can save mom from the need to hide her consciousness. This must be done until the woman has a physiological need to drink. In this case, the body will no longer be able to exist without alcohol.
We suggest you read: How to deal with alcoholism in women or men
Common female problems that may cause her to start drinking:
- Low self-esteem. Mom considers herself a bad parent who could not give her children the necessary level of knowledge, money, toys, etc. Often this feeling occurs in divorced women when loneliness simply torments them.
- The absence of a loved one. The patient believes that no one needs her and is unattractive.
- Problems at work when a woman with ambitions was unable to achieve her goals. She feels like a small speck on which nothing in this world depends.
- Poverty. Depression often occurs in such families.
- Bad environmental influence. If a woman is weak-willed and often follows the lead of her friends and acquaintances, they can easily force her to follow the rules of their company. Often such gatherings turn into constant drinking.
- Genetic predisposition. For example, a relative of my mother also suffered from alcoholism at one time. There is a risk of addiction passing on to the patient’s children.
These are only the most common factors, but there are many other reasons why a woman can break down, unable to bear the burden of problems. Therefore, family support is very important so that a person does not feel lonely or obligated to someone.
A man always has a choice: to stay and help his wife or to leave her and her children to the mercy of fate. In most cases, it is the latter option that happens. What to do if the mother is left alone, and she does not respond to the children’s requests? Adult offspring will more adequately assess the situation and will even be able to help, but the little guys will be traumatized for life.
Psychologists identify 3 main consequences of mother’s behavior:
- Social. Children from such families have an incorrectly formed stereotype of behavior, so they either do not know how to behave in society, or they follow in the footsteps of drunken relatives.
- Physical. Drinking while carrying a child is the greatest sin a woman can commit, because she is consciously taking risks. As a result, she gives birth to a sick child with a bunch of mental abnormalities and disorders.
- Psychological. Children of alcoholics do not know love and affection, they do not know how to study and achieve academic success. They have problems in the emotional and motivational-volitional sphere, and many of them are developmentally delayed.
Feeling lonely
Real help
Unfortunately, in most cases it is the teenager who has to take responsibility for easing the hangover of an alcoholic mother. Below are a few simple methods that can help in this difficult matter.
- After alcohol abuse, the body loses a large amount of fluid, and the first step is to restore its amount. To do this, you need to give a person who is in a hangover a lot of liquid: water, fruit juices, herbal tea.
- In order to recover faster, a drunk mother needs to take a shower for at least half an hour. A good result can be achieved if the shower is contrast.
- Activated carbon also works well; to correctly calculate the dose, you need to take into account that you need to give 1 tablet per 10 kg of weight.
- You also need to feed the alcoholic well, preferably with fatty foods.
- After all this, it is necessary to create all the conditions so that the mother can sleep soundly and for a long time.
This is the real help that a child can provide to his drinking mother.
What should a child not do?
There are several important nuances that a child should know in order to avoid even greater harm. Indeed, often, in order to help a person and protect yourself, you need to know what you can do and what you cannot do.
When a person is under the influence of alcohol or has a hangover, telling them to stop drinking is not only a waste of time, but also fraught with danger. In this state, the woman is not receptive to words, and all that the child can achieve is to provoke aggressive behavior on her part.
Not believing the promise made by an alcoholic mother that she would change and stop drinking. Often such people make promises only to get a new dose. Under no circumstances should you give her alcohol so that she “stops drinking from tomorrow.”
You can’t overload it physically, since a drunkard’s body is weakened and can fail at any moment under strong physical stress.
So you need to show firmness and willpower, because coping with such a task is not at all an easy task.
Every day is like a lottery
I remember in detail a picture from childhood: here I go home and try to recognize the condition of my mother by small details.
Everything is tidied up, there is food on the stove - most likely she is sober, but it is better not to get your hopes up so quickly. Because anything could happen - she could get drunk when she had already finished her work...
Doesn't respond? I run to the bedroom. If she sleeps facing the wall, it means she's drunk. This is true. Just in case, I’ll wake you up and check... Indistinct grumbling...
One last thing
It must be remembered that if there is an alcoholic mother in the family, you need to be patient. No matter how difficult it may be, it is necessary to explain to children that, despite all the harm that the mother causes, she remains their mother and does this only because she is sick. Therefore, you should not harbor resentment and anger towards her, you must do everything to help her recover. You need to seek help from relatives or specialists.
After all, a specialist can actually help a woman who drinks. And the help of relatives or adult children in this case is only to make it easier for her to get out of a hangover. Children can take all alcoholic drinks out of the house and try to persuade their mother to stop drinking. However, in reality, all this can become ineffective, since an alcoholic, if desired, will always find a way to get alcohol and continue drinking.
That is why it is important to understand one simple truth: a drinking mother can only recover completely if she herself wants it and understands how important it is for her and her family.
It's embarrassing, scary, embarrassing
What does a child experience when his mother drinks? Now it’s hard for me to formulate this.
Probably shame. I was always very ashamed of my mother.
Despair. I didn't know if it would ever end or not. With each new binge, there was no faith in a better future.
Offense. I didn’t understand why I was doing this? How can my birth mother trade her child for alcohol? Later I found out: you don’t choose your parents, I had to accept it.
