How many times has the fear of making a mistake stopped you from doing something that could radically change your life? And in a positive way. How many times have you regretted being afraid and missing out on the opportunities you were looking forward to? Probably everyone can give a couple of examples of such cases.
I wonder if we could learn to walk as children if we were constantly afraid of falling? Is it possible to learn to swim without taking off a life jacket? Ice skating without letting go of dad's hand? Hardly. To achieve anything, you need to overcome the paralyzing power of fear.
Reasons for repeating mistakes
To understand the reason for constant failures and stop repeating the mistakes of the past, you need to find out the roots of the problem. They lie in the psycho-emotional characteristics of your personality.
Stereotypes of behavior
Based on character traits, beliefs, ideas about life, upbringing and life experience, a certain model of behavior is formed. It may change depending on the situation, but the basis is the same stereotype.
A person who is not very self-confident will strive with all his might for love and recognition, which makes her accessible to not very worthy partners. A person who needs to control everything and everyone often finds himself alone or next to weak, dependent people. Increased demands, pathological jealousy, inability to trust, excessive rigidity and rudeness create difficulties in building relationships and often lead to breakup. Intolerance to the opinions of others, lack of restraint, a tendency to gossip, discuss other people's actions, and inability to work in a team lead to the fact that a person cannot fit into a team normally and often changes jobs. If you don’t know how to break the vicious circle and stop making mistakes, change your behavior.
Habits
They control our actions on an unconscious level, and are formed from childhood, under the influence of upbringing, complexes, and external examples. If you are not used to analyzing what is happening, it is difficult for you to find a solution in a non-standard situation, you are afraid of responsibility or possible consequences, then habit will guide your actions. This is a kind of autopilot that does not always choose the optimal solution.
In order not to repeat the mistakes of the past, find new, effective ways out of similar situations. Take failures and mistakes not as a reason for suffering, but as material for a comprehensive analysis and benefit for your future life.
Superficial judgment and emotions
Often the reason that makes us step on the same rake is the adoption of rash, superficial decisions and the influence of emotions. We associate various events, expectations, situations with certain emotions. When we take actions, we follow these emotional reactions, leading to a negative result. Fear, anger, hatred, excitement, irritation cloud the mind, making us incapable of self-control, logical understanding of the situation, our actions and decisions. If it is important for you to learn not to repeat mistakes, then start with emotional self-control. Stop, take a deep breath, let your emotions subside and your mind speak.
Admitting mistakes
You won't find a solution to break the vicious cycle if you don't admit your mistakes. This should not frighten you or lower your self-esteem or respect for your personality. Admitting mistakes to other people and to yourself is not a manifestation of weakness, inferiority or failure. On the contrary, this suggests that you are in constant movement, search, development, which is impossible without negative experience. Admit your mistakes and your own imperfections, realize them, analyze the reasons, think through alternative options, and you will gain invaluable life experience.
Where did this fear even come from?
The fear of mistakes is deeply ingrained in our minds. It represents a reaction to what we perceive as a potential threat. The key word is perceive. These mechanisms were formed in our minds thousands of years ago to help us protect ourselves from such real threats as, for example, attacks by predators.
Now what saved us from the lions comes into play when we have to make a decision associated with a certain risk, or simply leave our comfort zone. As a result, now these mechanisms only limit us and prevent us from developing.
The problem is that our internal defense system is poor at distinguishing between real and imagined risks.
The comfort zone is not just a hackneyed psychological concept. To go beyond its boundaries, you need to overcome serious neurophysiological mechanisms. Stay within this zone and you will feel safe. And if you dare to get out, your internal defense system will turn on warning signals in the form of fear. By protecting you from the unknown and unfamiliar, your consciousness does what it has learned as a result of evolution.
Previously, this system protected us and our environment from death, that is, from a real physical threat. Now the threat is more of an emotional nature. We are trying to maintain our emotional security. And defense mechanisms still have a paralyzing effect on us.
Afraid of mistakes or walking on a rake?
Continuous work on yourself will help you understand how not to repeat mistakes and find the right solutions. It is important to accustom yourself to self-analysis and constant control over emotions, thoughts, and actions. You should not make a decision under the influence of emotional impulses. Don't be too confident in your beliefs, actions, habits. Analyze them and question them. Mistakes will help you change, become better, wiser, expand your horizons and opportunities.
Draw conclusions and move on!
This is the main thing that we should understand. In order for the future to be cloudless, easy and beautiful, you need to learn to analyze your past, study it, and cleanse it of negativity. You need to stop carrying the “feeling of guilt” with you. This is the heaviest baggage from the past. What's done is already done. The only benefit that can be derived from it is to draw conclusions that benefit yourself. Our past holds important answers to life's important questions. Correctly drawn conclusions help to avoid similar situations in the future and overcome the obstacles of fate with dignity. Thus, in order to become a successful, strong and stable person in all respects, you need to use your past as a reliable support, and not as a quicksand quagmire.
Very often, mistakes of past years are associated with feelings of guilt. Knowing that once, in the heat of the moment, we said a lot of nasty things to a person, we want to go back, ask for forgiveness, and correct the situation. What to do when there is no one else to ask for forgiveness. Getting rid of such a load becomes more difficult. In such cases, psychologists advise to apologize mentally and try to get rid of remorse, because this will be better for both you and the people around you. There is also a proven method of writing down the reasons for your failures in order to work on them later, but this is another topic related to creating a self-development program.
The past can be safely analyzed. You need to get to the bottom of the true cause of what causes pain and trouble in order to find happiness in the Present. In your soul, you need to be grateful for all trials, avoiding any negative reaction. Only then will there be a chance to direct your destiny in the right direction. So how can you correct your mistakes?
Here are some tasks that will help you cope with your difficult past. They must be completed in writing. It is more likely that the technique will work.
Deadly mistake #3 - insubordination
A simple human desire to be closer to the team can bring serious trouble. Subordinates must clearly sense the distance. Otherwise they will sit on your neck. Human nature is such that as soon as employees feel you are “one of their own,” for some reason they will begin to believe that they are allowed to violate discipline, not be particularly diligent at work, and nothing will happen to them for it.
If you become the leader of a new team, it is easier. There are no emotional connections with employees - build relationships from scratch as you see fit. If you were promoted - put in charge of those with whom you just went to lunch yesterday - it will be much more difficult. We'll have to rebuild the relationship. However, this is inevitable if you want to lead effectively.
Example
You were a manager, and now you have become the head of the sales department. Literally - the boss of his friends. You have to choose - be a good friend or a good boss. The best thing to do is to draw a clear line: work/leisure. Explain to the team that from 9 to 18 you are their boss. You communicate with management, have lunch with other department heads. And outside of work, everything remains the same: friendly gatherings, football movies, conversations and all the activities.
Reviews and comments
Now you can practice and find speech errors in this article or share other examples you know. Also, take a look at our literacy course.
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Keywords:_D1048, _D1049, 1Russian, 1Storytelling
Deadly Mistake #10: Failing to Plan Your Time
Are you always running out of time for anything, are you late for important business meetings, are you staying after work to finish something? These are clear signs of failure in time management. The consequences can be dire, and this is no joke:
- you will fail important deals and miss out on profitable contracts;
- You will lose the trust of your partners. A businessman's word should be as hard as Parmesan. Forgive like a stone. They will not work with someone who promised to call back and did not do so;
- employees will follow your example. If the boss is always late, doesn’t have time to make calls, or forgets about assignments, the team will quickly copy this behavior. Remember that employees largely follow the example of their leader.
Therefore, learn to plan your time. If you do not have natural punctuality, you will have to learn. Let us reassure you: planning is a matter of habit. It won't be easy at first, but then everything will go like clockwork.
Choose any method: fashionable organizing apps, a paper diary, reminders on your phone - and go ahead. The main thing is to make a plan for some time in advance and strictly adhere to it.
If you find at least one such mistake in yourself, this is a reason to think about it. But don’t worry—this happens to almost everyone. Now you know what to do. Forewarned is forearmed! Good luck in business!
Think about what you already have
Yes, it is unpleasant not to have what you want, but think about what you have already achieved and achieved. And remember yourself when even this seemed unattainable. This will help you understand that everything changes and that development and personal evolution simply cannot be stopped. And this is a reason to pull yourself together and begin to somehow correct the current situation.
We also believe that you would be interested in learning how to properly deal with stress. Alas, this is the very situation that cannot be avoided, but you can effectively compensate for everything that it brings.
Deadly mistake No. 9 - carelessness
It can be described like this: delegated, delegated, and re-delegated. You can get so carried away by the distribution of powers that you stop working altogether. Unfortunately, a director who puts everything on his deputies and appears in the office for an hour after lunch is not an isolated phenomenon.
In general, the main thing here is to feel the edge. On the one hand, for an ideal boss, everything works with his direct participation. On the other hand, you always need to keep your finger on the pulse: know how things are going, make key decisions, plan the main directions of development.
It is also important to take part in the informal life of the team. Don’t stay away from New Year’s corporate parties and outings; attend the performances of your sports team, if you have one. In short, don’t ignore the movement outside the office.
Deadly Mistake #5: Not Following New Trends
“We’ve always done it this way” is the worst thing a manager can say. Continuous and rapid development is the key to the success of modern business. New trends and tendencies appear almost every day. Those who keep their nose to the wind and introduce innovations in a timely manner gain a competitive advantage.
Therefore, the manager must train himself and develop his employees . Immediately implement all new work methods. Or at least try. It’s better to do it and regret it than not to do it and regret it. I tried one thing, it didn’t work, let’s try something else. If we don't wash it, we'll just ride it. And if you work the old fashioned way and don’t develop, sooner or later your competitors will overtake you. And sooner rather than later.
Example
Internet marketing is now in fashion - promoting goods and services through the World Wide Web. Any company should have its own website, groups on social networks, channels in instant messengers. But even this is not enough. Special agencies must maintain and promote these resources, otherwise they will be so far in the search results that the user simply will not find them. So, if you don’t follow this trend, you can forget about success in business .
