What is fear of open doors?
This phobia belongs to a type of fear of open spaces and crowded places called agoraphobia.
An open door is perceived by a person as a danger that causes panic. The fear of open doors is based on physical and psychological shock. It can also be a consequence of excessive use of alcohol, drugs, and deep depression. Some people try to hide their fear. To calm down, they take a small amount of alcohol or a pill. Many people carry a certain thing with them that calms them down (a kind of talisman).
What it is
Many people experience fear of the unknown, which is what makes them refuse changes in life and new offers. Due to increased anxiety, which is caused by the fear of the unknown, a person loses many perspectives and suffers from his inaction
Naturally, reasonable caution is necessary, but it is simply impossible to live in eternal fear and anticipation of an unfavorable outcome; this makes life significantly more difficult. If a person constantly tries to keep everything under control, then he is in a stressed and anxious state.
However, the cause of anxiety is not always related to the fact that a person is trying to control everything. Control is just an action that distracts from the state of anxiety and softens the emotional state.
Motivation for action comes from clearly defined goals and a precise plan for achieving them. Sometimes these actions are postponed, this occurs solely from not knowing how to act. Therefore, most people prefer to stay at their current level rather than take risks to achieve something greater.
Reasons for fear of the unknown
Most often, people are afraid of the unknown before some important event in life: a new job, an exam, a trip to a foreign city or country. Why does this fear arise? Historically, in order to survive, a person must be extremely careful and calculate his every step. And the unknown is frightening because it is impossible to foresee the result of this or that activity in advance. That is why even simple actions performed for the first time seem more complicated than difficult mechanisms performed long ago.
Psychologists identify three main reasons that provoke fear of the unknown:
- Low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence;
- Fear of losing everything a person has today;
- Fear of troubles, impending disaster.
These are good enough reasons for a person to experience real horror of the unknown.
Phobias
Phobia (phobos) translated from Greek means fear or fear. But in modern language, a phobia is far from just fear - unlike ordinary fear, a phobia is stable, constant and has no conscious causes, that is, it is irrational.
For example, if a person is afraid to cross the road at a pedestrian crossing, then you will assume that he was once hit (or almost hit) by a car at a zebra crossing, or he witnessed a situation where someone was run over by a car in this zone. Fear has rational roots, and, from the point of view of a psychotherapist, it is easier to work with it - because the reasons are recognized. But with phobias it’s more difficult: how to explain why a person is afraid of a doll’s gaze? First of all, the feared person himself does not understand this, which is why attacks of phobias are often accompanied by panic attacks.
In general, there are fears that, due to inexperience, can be called phobias: unreasonable fear, spontaneously arising fear, fear of something unknown, severe anxiety. But these are just fears; phobias put pressure on a person’s life, constantly remind them of themselves, guide actions, leading to absurd behavior.
For example, a woman who is afraid to travel on public transport (a type of social phobia) because it seems to her that people are always looking at her appraisingly, comparing her clothes, appearance and accessories with those around her. Afraid of appearing worse in any respect, she spends almost her entire salary on taxis. Neurotic, unfounded, although conscious fear, in this case is a phobia.
Fear of the unknown. — 3 main reasons for fear of the unknown.
______
Most often, people are afraid of the unknown before some important event in life: a new job, an exam, a trip to a foreign city or country. Why does this fear arise? Historically, in order to survive, a person must be extremely careful and calculate his every step. And the unknown is frightening because it is impossible to foresee the result of this or that activity in advance. That is why even simple actions performed for the first time seem more complicated than difficult mechanisms performed long ago.
Psychologists identify three main reasons that provoke fear of the unknown:
1) Low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence; 2) Fear of losing everything that a person has today; 3) Fear of troubles, impending disaster.
These are good enough reasons for a person to experience real horror of the unknown.
Read about the fear of death.
A person's phobia of the unknown can be traced back to childhood. In infancy, a child learns everything new through personal exploration. Crawling on all fours, the baby, seeing an obstacle in front of him, boldly bypasses it and continues to crawl further. He is not tormented by questions: what will happen behind this barrier, what danger awaits me there? As a teenager grows up, studying at school or higher educational institutions, he gets used to performing certain actions, without particularly delving into the psychology of adult life. He is faced with very specific tasks: good academic performance, exemplary behavior, and performing some household duties. All other important issues are decided by parents.
And now the carefree time has passed, adulthood has arrived. A young man is faced with a lot of problems: where to look for work, how to feed himself, where to get money for separate housing? And then fear arises: what if I make the wrong decision and my whole life will collapse overnight? It is this fear that prevents many people from taking risks and, as a result, achieving some success in life.
Fear and phobia
Treatment depends on how strong this negative emotion is. It can turn into a phobia (psychological disorder), in which case it becomes much more difficult to cope with the problem. There are many different phobias in adults and children. This:
- fear of confined spaces;
- fear of clowns;
- Fear of heights;
- fear of success, etc.
Regardless of what their cause is, they all negatively affect a person’s life, preventing him from being happy. Therefore, the fight against phobias is very important. Psychologists have developed certain methods for overcoming fear that help a person normalize their life, get rid of self-hypnosis, stress, learn to overcome a problem, cope with anxiety, sometimes even the simplest things that have to be done every day can cause panic.
Each person's coping path will be different. It depends on his individual needs. However, they all have a base - a universal algorithm. It was developed by psychologists to help people overcome anxiety on their own. These methods will tell you how to deal with panic attacks, relieve anxiety and inner restlessness, and help in the treatment of phobias.
Treatment methods
Agoraphobia is a serious disease that must be combated at the first signs. It is often complicated by severe depression, which causes suicidal thoughts in a person. In addition, along with this disease, a person may develop new disorders, for example, fear of pollution or fear of toxic substances entering the body. Treatment of the disease must be comprehensive. It usually includes medication and psychotherapy. In most cases, the patient is prescribed tranquilizers. The work of a psychotherapist involves the following methods:
- behavioral therapy;
- Gestalt therapy;
- hypnosis;
- cognitive psychotherapy;
- technique of paradoxical intention.
To avoid exacerbation of the disease, medication treatment should continue for another three to six months after the patient’s condition improves. At the same time, the end of the course of medication does not mean the abolition of psychotherapy. Even with significant improvement in your condition, you can continue to periodically visit a psychotherapist. In case of exacerbation of the disease, it is recommended to continue treatment with drugs.
The life of a person who is haunted by a fear of large open spaces is extremely difficult. Only in places that seem safe to the patient can he feel confident and comfortable
Constantly staying at home does not allow you to lead a full life, so it is very important for an agoraphobe to seek professional help in a timely manner.
Symptoms
Symptoms of futurophobia can be not only psychological, but also physical. In anticipation of the event, a person may experience a panic attack. The condition may also be accompanied by:
- dizziness and fainting;
- increased or decreased blood pressure;
- fatigue and apathy;
- depression;
- insomnia;
- rapid heartbeat.
Self-flagellation about life and its course can lead to obsessive disorders: a person understands his problem, knows the reason for his fears, but the condition only gets worse. Each time, in an attempt to correct the situation, the patient performs a ritual, after which, in the patient’s opinion, relief follows, and he does not think about what is coming as a problem. The situation can only get worse. The obsessive thought returns time after time in a new interpretation. It becomes impossible not to think about the problem.
Let's look at a vivid example of how a person can fear for the future:
Fear of the unknown: how to get rid of it
To overcome the fear of the unknown, you need to learn to let go of control. The manic need to control everything is based on the erroneous belief that the world is an unsafe place, and if you are not constantly on guard, some kind of disaster will happen.
You don't have to know everything in advance. Ordinary human logic dictates: in order to get rid of the fear of the unknown, you need to achieve some kind of certainty. But if we look at the experience of successful people, it turns out that they did not know the exact sequence of actions that would lead them to their goal. They simply began to act in a situation of uncertainty, solving problems as they came. Moreover, unexpected turns of fate and the collapse of carefully developed plans often brought them success. Having been laid off, they found their dream job, an unwanted divorce ended with a meeting with a much more congenial and interesting partner.
So, you don't need to know all the details up front. It is enough to decide what you are going to do at the next stage. When you overcome it, you will gain experience and will understand what to do next. The less mentally stressed you are when starting something new, the more productive and creative your mind will be. By relaxing and stopping wasting energy on pointless worry, you will be able to notice information in the surrounding space that is useful for solving your problem. It could be a newspaper article, a video on the Internet, or a conversation between colleagues that you would ignore if you were completely immersed in your anxious thoughts.
To experience the benefits of this approach to life, start with small changes. Over the next few weeks, try exercises from psychologist Christophe Andre that are designed to develop trust in the world and reduce fear of the unknown.
- Exercise "Reporter". Make it a habit to constantly try something new and celebrate the positive aspects of the objects you study: order unfamiliar dishes in restaurants, learn new hobbies, explore streets in your city that you have not been to before. Get a beautiful notebook and write down your pleasant discoveries there.
- "Not according to plan." Plan your day off carefully: what you will wear, what you will have for breakfast, where you will go, who you will meet. And the next day, deviate as much as possible from your original plan: visit another cafe, instead of the usual trip to the cinema, go out into nature. At the end of the day, write down in a notebook the positive experiences you gained by being unusually spontaneous.
- Follow the example of the protagonist of the comedy film “Always Say Yes” with Jim Carrey. Start as an experiment and agree to all the offers that come from others. Of course, do this within reason. You can simply ask a friend to plan your day off for you. However, the entertainment program is not communicated to you and is not discussed in advance. Just on the appointed day, a friend takes you by the hand and leads you where he decides.
- Contact a specialist, for example, psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin, who helps people all over the world get rid of various kinds of phobias and fears.
After a couple of weeks, you will notice how the fear of uncertainty goes away. You will become more confident in yourself, open to new acquaintances, and the unknown will no longer cause you much stress. Self-hypnosis sessions will also help you get rid of the fear of the unknown and develop confidence:
When an agnosophobe has a chance to change their life for the better, the fear of the unknown often wins out. The problem is that in his mind, certainty and security are synonymous. Although in fact, life without change, without development leads to stagnation. Sometimes it is enough to overcome the fear of the unknown several times, to step into the abyss, to understand that living in a situation of uncertainty is not fatal, but on the contrary, it is exciting, exciting, and unforgettable. Uncertainty, the unknown - this is life itself.
Fear of the unknown
The worst thing
Most often, our imagination is awakened by such a factor as the unknown.
Unknown
This is what scares most beginner speakers who have no experience in public speaking. The unknown also causes anxiety among experienced speakers when faced with an unfamiliar audience.
Will I succeed? What will I look like? Will they listen to me? Will I be able to convey my thoughts clearly? What will my listeners think of me? What if my voice breaks? What if they ask a question that I can’t answer?
Everything new, to one degree or another, causes caution and fear. This triggers the instinct of self-preservation, which requires special caution when encountering the unknown, because the unknown can be fraught with danger, a possible threat to life.
And the speaker begins to be afraid, sometimes without even understanding what he is afraid of! He is afraid of the unknown and at the same time afraid to get closer to this unknown and find out whether it is so scary.
What to do?
Here is an effective technique for dealing with fear. It lies in the fact that you begin to think: “If this is the worst performance of my life, what is the worst thing that could happen?”
In this case, it is advisable to exaggerate this situation to the maximum. Fantasize from the heart:
Can you imagine how these businessmen in suits and ties suddenly take out string bags with rotten eggs and tomatoes and begin to throw them in your direction. And you deftly dodge them... Then you take out a baseball bat and start hitting these tomatoes back! Basically, push the absurdity of this situation to the limit until you start laughing!
Why does this trick work?
Often the speaker thinks that if his report fails, then this will happen... This!.. That it is better not to even think about it! And, trying not to think about it, he stresses himself out, setting himself up for something terrible.
When he thinks about it, the apparent importance of the upcoming performance bursts like a soap bubble. Sometimes it even becomes a shame that the world doesn’t care so much whether his performance is successful or failure.
The best cure for fear is laughter. Therefore, it is advisable to exaggerate the situation until it becomes funny.
If you imagine your boss frowning displeasedly (after your disastrous performance), then this picture can cause cramps of fear in your stomach. But if you imagine your boss running after you in a rage with a fly swatter, then such a picture can only cause healthy laughter.
And healthy laughter is much better than fear in inducing a good resource state suitable for performing. Therefore, long live laughter!
Uncertainty in itself is neutral. It can be fraught with both danger and joy, delight, pleasure! And the feeling with which we expect the upcoming performance - with fear or impatience - largely depends on our attitudes, on how we imagine it.
THE WORST THING IS NOT SCARY!
The Power of Positive Thinking
We can equally program ourselves for both success and failure. Moreover, the effort that we need to invest in this is approximately the same in both cases. Cm.
Only a fragment of this wonderful book is posted on Psychologos. You can purchase the book in the Litres online store
How to Surrender to Uncertainty
Stop controlling what you can't control. Let go of the desire to control.
You need to give up. Say: uncertainty, I accept you as you are.
I recently read a newspaper headline: “The world is a powder keg.”
This interested me and I read it to the end. Indeed, there is a lot of anger, hatred, and misunderstanding in the world. There is an information war going on. And no one knows when it will move from the information field into reality.
An entrepreneur I know sells knives. Last year he sold 1,000,000 knives. There are many weapons in the world.
All your fears are useless. Even if you make a mistake and it doesn’t work out, ask yourself the question: “What’s the worst that can happen?”
You can ask yourself the question: “What happens if I lose?” Or another: “What will happen if I don’t succeed?”
These are good questions and they allow you to reduce your risk.
Let's say you started a business and it didn't work out.
What's the worst that can happen? Think through this situation in advance, live it. Everything seems scary in the moment. But when you think and ask a question, it gives you a thread that will keep you afloat during a storm.
Work through your fear, don't hide from it. Accept it, feel it.
Stop trying to control uncertainty. Go into it.
Your commitment to the goal should be a beacon. You must have a vision that is brighter and more powerful than any obstacle. Your goals must be greater than fear of uncertainty.
PS Money is one of the main reasons why fear of uncertainty arises.
And I understand why many people fear money.
You, like most people, have been taught mathematics, physics, languages and a bunch of other things for many years...
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- how rich people think
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Fear
Fear is an emotion. The same as joy, fun, excitement, boredom, only, as a rule, more intense and well felt. And just like other emotions, it is characterized by special conditions of occurrence: in situations when a person (or an animal) is threatened by something, and not necessarily objectively - with fear or anticipation of a threat, this chilling sensation also arises; and just as with other emotions, at this time characteristic physiological and chemical reactions occur in the body, not to mention psychological. The emotion of fear ranges from weak to strong, and depending on this characteristic it changes its name: anxiety (unconscious fear), apprehension, fear, fright, panic, horror.
Just a million years ago, people's fears were only instinctive - when a person was afraid of thunder, predators, natural disasters, fire, and in this he was no different from animals. But it is human nature to develop, to grow spiritually and emotionally; and like any phenomenon, development has its negative sides - along with advancement, a person develops neurotic fear. Now the fear of fire fades into the background, the fact of being fired, of God’s punishment, that they will think differently about him or be judged poorly seems much more terrible... It is with such problems that people come to psychologists, sorcerers, and to church.
And what lies behind the reasons for its occurrence?
Firstly, lack of confidence in your capabilities and low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence.
Secondly, the fear of completely losing what you already have at the moment. Many people associate changes and innovations with the loss of what they have.
And thirdly, the expectation of inevitable difficulties. Quit your current job and try something new? It’s difficult, you need to learn, develop and get used to the team again. Moving to a different city? Work, housing, social circle - everything is new, everything is difficult.
Agree, there are quite significant and varied reasons for the appearance of fear of the unknown.
Government
Let’s not touch our current government, because we love and respect it; it’s better to turn our attention to grandfather Stalin, who is considered one of the most prominent dictators and tyrants in the European space. He kept the whole country in fear and horror, and from the point of view of his own benefit, he did absolutely the right thing: who needs democracy when upstarts constantly strive to overthrow the current ruler from the throne, force them to live in tension, make concessions...
Moreover, no matter how you bend, you still won’t please. Well, who needs it? It is much more effective and useful to keep a tight rein on everyone: no connivance - this helps to be disciplined; cruel punishment for an ill-considered act develops pathogenic predictive thinking - a person will think a hundred times before saying or doing something; preventive reprisals will not allow even the thought of leaving the righteous path in the minds of citizens; forced love for the ruler is akin to the advanced commandment “love thy neighbor.” Quite noble goals: the people are educated spiritually, the head of the state lives in peace and harmony. What’s interesting is that many people really loved Stalin, some considered (and still consider) his policies fair and constructive, old people sigh every now and then: “If only there was Stalin, he would restore order...” And here’s what researchers write about Stalin: “The incomprehensible mystery of Stalin was manifested in the limitless possibility of replacing good with evil and vice versa. And therefore the best expression of Stalinist humor was the corpse. But not just a corpse and not the corpse of an enemy, but the corpse of a friend who loved Stalin, and whom Stalin nevertheless trusted for some reason... This was also manifested in big politics. Stalin killed Kirov, and then, attributing this murder to his ideological opponents, unleashed a chain of show trials. It was a brilliant move of Stalinist tactics and politics.”
As you can see, to go down in history, you need to be at least a little genius; but in order for the people not to create problems for you, it is enough to intimidate them well; you can take an example from the leader described above, slightly adapting the strategy to our age. An excellent example is the death and disappearance of journalists and other unwanted people. By the way, the reason for this behavior of rulers is the same fear: fear of losing the reins of power, fear for the family, fear of losing face...
Government services: insurers, security services, traffic police
I think many of us have encountered insurance company employees. Not only those who must insure your car, but also those who must sell their services, ultimately receiving money for it (from your pocket, of course). Of course, you don’t want to pay a large sum for air, so they use scary tales: how people die out of the blue; when a person goes to work, he comes back and his apartment is broken into and robbed; how one man bought a brand new Bentley, went to bed, and the next morning it was stolen... Yes, sometimes these tales are absurd in nature - the intellectual advancement of the agent telling horror stories plays a role here. Willy-nilly, you begin to think: what if I too could become a victim, because in fact, none of us are insured... And then: oppa! “Are you not insured yet?! We offer to insure you against a plane falling on your head!”
I remember how an insurance agent intimidated me when purchasing a regular civil liability policy: “Do you know that if you crash into an expensive car, the amount of a regular policy will not cover the losses, it will cost at least 500 US dollars to paint over one scratch on the door. What if it’s not a scratch, but a dent? One of my friends once flew into a black jeep, his insurance was not enough - and the owner of the jeep threatened him with violence! Do you need it? Maybe it’s better to pay an extra 30 USD. and drive calmly? And I paid extra. Because “What if...?”
Whatever you say, insurers are good at depicting the terrifying prospects of living without insurance. As if the amount paid to relatives after the death of the insured will return his life...
And remember your feelings while waiting for the traffic police officer, slowly, confidently and complacently walking towards your car: like a boa constrictor approaching a rabbit. It seems like he didn’t violate anything serious or at all, but judging by his appearance, they will now fine you almost to the point of depriving you of your license, or even confiscate your car and give you life imprisonment. Yes, fear has big eyes, and you involuntarily invest a large bill in your license, assuring yourself that it is worth nothing compared to your safety. As you can see, again there is a far-fetched danger and a real financial loss.
Police patrols, security services, and even tax inspectors work according to the same “scheme.”
Fear of the unknown parable. Fear of the unknown. Proverbs
Fear of the unknown
One person committed a crime. He was caught and brought to trial before the king. His act was punishable by death, but the king asked him to choose his fate: either be hanged or go behind the big, black, scary steel door.
When they put a noose around his neck, he suddenly said: The criminal thought and chose the gallows.
– I became curious: what’s there behind the door?
The king smiled:
- You see, a funny thing happens... I offer this choice to everyone, and everyone chooses the gallows.
- What’s behind the door? “I won’t tell anyone anyway,” the criminal added, pointing to the noose.
After a pause, the king replied:
- There is freedom there. But people are so afraid of the unknown that they prefer a rope...
A parable about change
There lived a bird in the world. She had her own house - a large, drying tree in the middle of a huge waterless desert. The bird loved this tree very much; it carefully saved it from sandstorms and evil winds. And the bird also tried to please him with its songs. They met sunrises together and admired beautiful sunsets. And the bird thought that it would always be like this.
But one day trouble happened. A hurricane of enormous force struck. He raised black clouds of sand. The sky darkened, it seemed like the end of the world had come.
The bird pressed against the tree, trying to stay in its branches. The tree creaked heavily, trying to hold back such pressure and at least somehow protect the bird.
But such persistence seemed to anger the hurricane even more, and it moved towards the tree with triple force. The tree tried its best, but its strength gradually left it. And suddenly something cracked in its roots, and there was complete darkness.
The hurricane uprooted a tree and dragged it across the desert with enormous force. It seemed that it was not a huge old tree flying, but a light fluff.
The bird was thrown in the branches with such force that it decided to resign itself and simply accept death.
Caught by the wind, she flew, not seeing anything in front of her. In the end, the wind threw her to the ground and slowly began to calm down.
The bird lay on the ground for a long time, afraid to open its eyes.
When she finally came to her senses, she saw a garden nearby. It was so amazing. She had never seen anything like this before. Other birds sang cheerfully and carefree around.
Our bird spread its wings and timidly flew towards the flowering trees. She was joyfully greeted by the feathered inhabitants of the garden.
The bird drank water from the spring and felt that life was getting better.
“It’s amazing how life works,” the bird thought sadly, remembering its favorite tree, “but if it had survived, nothing in the world could have forced me to leave it.” And I would never have seen this wonderful garden and these birds.
PS: We get very used to our familiar places, and we are very afraid to change something.
Fear of life: how to overcome
The emotion of fear is always protection, a warning of danger
It is important not to fight your negative feelings, not to suppress them. You need to understand that fear is an important signal from the subconscious, and you just need to figure out what it indicates
For example, mentally projecting negative scenarios of events into the future creates fear. As soon as you return to the present or assume a more pleasant development of the situation, positive emotions replace fear. Learn to solve problems as they arise. Don’t build long logical chains like “I’ll get married, get pregnant, get fat, look ugly, my husband will leave me, and I’ll be left alone with a child in my arms.” Throw away speculation and do what you have now. Allow yourself happiness, even if there is a possibility that it will be temporary. In the end, things may turn out better than you could ever imagine, and you're wasting yourself.
You can also overcome the fear of life by understanding your basic negative attitudes that give rise to the emotion of fear. These include beliefs about what the world is like, the people in that world, and “Self-concept”—ideas about one’s personality. Changing these attitudes to more positive ones frees you from the fear of life and helps solve many life problems.
To identify beliefs that give rise to fear of life, use the following psychotechnics. Do any relaxation exercise. This could be breathing exercises, meditation, neuromuscular relaxation according to Jacobson, listening to calm, soothing music. Once you have reached a state of relaxation, try answering the questions below.
Please note that the correct answers about the causes of fear come spontaneously, as if emerging from the depths of the subconscious. This is not a product of logical reasoning
- What is the first most negative thought that came to you about yourself, about the world, about people?
- What are the most negative thoughts of your father and mother about you, about the world, about people?
- What is the most negative thought your teachers have about you as people?
- What were the most negative thoughts about yourself and the world that you received as a child during interactions with your peers?
When performing this exercise, for example, negative thoughts may emerge: “life is a struggle,” “the world is ruled by fierce competition,” “I’m doing everything wrong,” “you’ll become homeless!”, “you don’t understand anything.” Unfortunately, such ridiculous ideas, sown in the mind during growing up, continue to have a destructive effect in adulthood, giving rise to fear of life and destructive behavior.
To get out of the influence of a negative life scenario, you need to change the discovered beliefs and change their wording to a positive one. For example, instead of the negative attitude “the world is ruled by fierce competition,” you need to say “love and mutual support reign in the world.”
Of course, you can repeat to yourself as much as you like that the world is beautiful. But if you don’t feel this at the emotional level, if all your previous life experience screams the opposite to you, then it will be quite difficult to believe in this concept. Start with thoughts that do not cause you strong internal resistance. For example, instead of the overwhelming idea “I can make the right decisions,” tell yourself:
- the boss entrusted me with leading a new project - maybe I’m not so bad;
- I don’t regret my action - it led me to good things;
- I am a responsible person and have carefully weighed all options;
- Everyone makes mistakes sometimes - that's normal.
Your subconscious will be able to accept these private, and therefore softer, formulations. As a result, the previously unshakable positions of the negative worldview will be shaken, and it can be replaced by a more positive one.
If you cannot change the negative attitude that gives rise to fears on your own, you can seek help from a psychologist-hypnologist, for example, Nikita Valerievich Baturin. It will help get rid of any type of fear and phobias, including fear of life.
Listening to an audio trance to develop self-confidence will also help you cope with the fear of life:
How to get rid of the fear of the unknown
There are several methods that any of us can use.
What's worse?
Think about the worst case scenarios. It would seem pessimistic and even more driving into a corner, but a working method. At the same time, it is important not to completely sink into despondency. Remind yourself that positive outcomes are also possible.
Outside opinion
We are adequately biased in assessing our own abilities. Either we underestimate or overestimate ourselves. From one extreme to another. Ask for the opinion of a loved one who knows you well, will not embellish, and will soberly assess the prospects.
From the reverse
Consider the situation from the other side. What will happen if everything really remains as it is? No prospects, career growth, money growth, boredom and complete despondency. Easy, without much action, but how sad.
With somebody
It is much easier to decide on something by acting together. Support is one of the key ways to overcome all fears. It's not so scary together, is it? Find someone who wants the same thing as you. Sign up for courses, rent an apartment, etc.
Evaluating yourself
As stated at the beginning, fear of the unknown comes from self-doubt. We need to get rid of this, because only self-sufficient and confident people are able to make important and turning-point decisions. Be more proactive, engage in self-development, count everything that you have already achieved at this point in your life. Finally, accept that everyone has flaws.
For small particles
Find out the main source of fear and break it down into its components. It's like a broom that cannot be broken completely. It will only be possible if you deal with each twig separately. Also, the goal can be overcome in several stages. Do you want to change cities? To begin with, just go there on a week-long vacation, take a closer look at it, return to your native land and make a choice.
How to overcome agoraphobia
Psychologist Olga Borisovna Vasilyeva answers the question.
Yes, you can. Even necessary. Medicines provide relief. But the effectiveness of treating agoraphobia with psychotropic drugs is lower than with a combination of psychotherapy and psychopharmacology.
If panic disorder and agoraphobia are not symptoms of other diseases, then they are treatable using psychotherapy.
What does it take to overcome agoraphobia?
1. Strong desire
You need a great desire to overcome agoraphobia. The greater your desire to be cured, the higher your chances of returning to normal life.
If the desire is not strong enough, then there will always be a thousand “buts” that will not allow you to leave your comfort zone. There is neither time nor money for psychotherapy. You don't have the patience to deal with the uncomfortable sensations of leaving the house.
Usually objections arise if there is a good reason to stay at home.
For example, Alika left the following comment about agoraphobia:
Such understanding, love and sympathy may be the reason that prevents agoraphobia from being overcome. Why change something if it’s already comfortable? Will your family be as attentive and caring if you are healthy?
Agoraphobia should “get” you so much, cause such inconvenience, that all its advantages cease to matter to you. And there would be only one goal left - to get rid of it.
2. A good reason to leave the house
You need to have a reason to leave the house. You won't be able to go out just for the sake of going out.
If work is not enjoyable, then what is the point of getting rid of agoraphobia? After all, then you will have to work. If studying is worse than hard labor for you, then why trade the comfort of your home for endless cramming?
If your loved ones still buy groceries and everything they need. Friends come to visit. The Internet is always at hand. Even doctors and psychologists come to you with “home delivery”, then what is the point of getting rid of agoraphobia? Why do you need to go out? Maybe that's good?
Take a pen and paper and write down 10 good reasons to leave the house. These should be activities that cannot be done at home. Things that bring you great pleasure. Something that gives your life meaning.
3. Coping with depression
Agoraphobia is more difficult to deal with if you are depressed. Unfortunately, depression is a frequent companion of a person suffering from agoraphobia.
Does fear seem impossible to overcome? That you will spend your whole life within four walls? That you will drag out a miserable existence for the rest of your days? Depression whispers these thoughts to you! Don't trust her voice. Such hopelessness about the future is a sure sign of it.
Do you see everything in black light? And are you increasingly immersed in a gray, hopeless fog? Are you unable to rejoice? A negative view of the present is another sign of depression.
Do you consider yourself pathetic or cowardly? If a stranger hears you describe yourself, they will conclude that you are a “vicious goblin,” or at least a “ultimate loser.”
Negative self-evaluation is the third hallmark of depression.
Is it possible to overcome depression?
Yes. If depression is mild, then a psychologist or psychotherapist can help you escape from its tenacious clutches. It is not necessary to start taking medication.
If the depression is more severe - there is no appetite, concentration is reduced, it is difficult to get out of bed, thoughts of suicide occur, then you should consult a psychiatrist or psychotherapist for medication help. In this case, the medications will create the necessary conditions for psychotherapy to work. And then seek psychotherapy.
Agoraphobia is a neurotic disorder. In order to cope with neurosis, a course of psychotherapy is needed. If you want to sign up for a course of psychotherapy with me, call 8-906-718-84-94 from 10-00 to 21-00 Moscow time.
How to overcome the fear of the unknown
The pace of life of modern man creates an unknown future. At the same time, it is important not to forget about the most important moment – “now”.
Chris Smith is a famous psychologist who was able to pinpoint how to overcome fear of the unknown. He was able to prove the effectiveness of his method by personal example.
He created four important rules that will help you overcome your phobia and normalize your emotional state.
- The “here and now” rule. Its essence lies in the fact that you need to forget everything for a while, stop, look around and realize what is happening around you. Slowly take a deep breath and exhale. It is recommended to make several such stops per day.
- Notes for every day. It is recommended to write down any important point. Even if you think you are a bad writer, you are doing it for yourself. At the end of the year it will be easier for you to take stock. Taking notes every day will give you a sense of accomplishment.
- Family and friends. Don't neglect communication with your family and close friends. This does not mean at all that you need to communicate with everyone who wants it - it is important to create your own comfort zone and spend more time with those you care about.
- Properly planned working hours are the key to success. You need to learn to say no, but you must realize that you also fall into the category of people who will be rejected. Don't be afraid of not having time to do something.
Exercises from Christophe Andre
French psychiatrist and psychotherapist Christophe Andre identified three exercises that can help you stop being afraid of the unknown.
- "The reporter". This exercise helps you get used to the changes happening around you. In your free time, you need to go to an unfamiliar area, explore it, take photographs and write a report, noting every detail.
- "Upside down". You will learn to love everything new and realize that any surprise can be pleasant. In the evening, write down your routine for the coming day, and when you wake up, do the opposite, monitoring your feelings.
- "Become a follower." Learn to trust people - invite your friend to create a daily routine for you, even if he includes a few items that are new to you. At the end of this day you realize that you have learned a lot and it was quite interesting.
Becoming a follower means learning to trust people