Fears and personality development: constant conflict with oneself
Making important and informed decisions to create a list of goals and begin working on self-improvement. A person becomes a hostage to his own fear. He turns into a blind and deaf slave, meekly following every instruction dictated to him by his master, whose name is fear of development.
Shackled by the doubts that overcome him, a person no longer realizes that everything is in his hands, and his desired goal is very close. One has only to step over or push away the main obstacle - fear, and everything will be resolved, and the path to movement will open.
Being in conflict with himself, a person does not dare to move along the path to his own future, because he does not believe in success. It begins to seem to him that everything around him is predetermined for him, and if he upsets this balance, then something irreparable will happen.
Fears and personality development are related categories; the main thing is to teach how to distinguish between motivational and speculative, unjustified fears. If, afraid of losing the respect of loved ones, getting sick or not achieving success in the professional field, a person begins to work hard on himself and achieve obvious changes, such fear is useful. It motivates a person to change, and thanks to him he gets on the right path.
Irrational fear
An irrational, often unfounded fear that scares a person away from his goals has a completely different nature. You must fight it decisively, otherwise nothing in life will change and will not lead to an improvement in the situation.
Fear of development does not allow a person to live exactly the way he wants. He gets lost when making decisions and leaves everything to chance, calming himself with the thought that “what will happen, will not happen.” This is an extremely harmful approach, because it leaves a person for a long time in the situation from which he wanted to find a way out.
There is no room for retreat if there is a goal. You just have to repeat to yourself: “No fear will stand in my way,” and boldly carry out your actions. After all, the most effective and reasonable thing is to temporarily drown out your inner voice, which says: “I can’t cope,” “it’s not worth it,” “it will be worse.” This is the only way to destroy existing attitudes and give way to new, constructive and rational ones.
Fear of change in life is the most common phenomenon that leads to poverty and failure. The whole perspective in life is open to people who are courageous and confident in their abilities, and victories go only to those who do not doubt their own success.
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Development.
Development is a complex process of growth and mastery of skills. Development continues throughout life; it is influenced by genetic, cultural and psychological factors, as well as environmental conditions.
Normal development.
It is a sequence of skills acquired in a specific order (called “developmental milestones”). Each skill acquired by a child is the basis for the formation of subsequent, more and more complex skills. Since “ normal development ” is determined by many factors, the concept of “norm” covers a fairly wide range of options. Each child goes through his own special development path, depending on his individual learning style, his strengths and weaknesses.
Six areas of development.
The overall development of a child can be looked at by breaking it down into six areas or domains. However, it should be remembered that they are all closely related to each other, and progress in one area can lead to progress in others, which is why the general development of the child is called. Let's look at examples; success in speech development is closely related to success in the field of social skills, and the development of fine motor skills helps to master self-care skills.
1) Gross motor skills.
The development of gross motor skills in an infant is the ability to move with the help of large muscles (legs, arms, back and abdomen). Milestones in developing gross motor skills include sitting, crawling, and walking. These skills allow the child to move in space and explore the world around him; they are necessary for advancement in all other areas.
2) Fine (fine) motor skills.
This includes skills that require control of precise movements of the hands and fingers. Examples of fine motor skills that emerge early in life include grasping small objects, pointing at something, or stroking something soft. Graphic skills (writing, drawing) or self-care skills (such as buttoning a button or holding a spoon) require good fine motor skills, and their development requires good vision and eye control. Therefore, it is very important to regularly check your child’s vision and, if necessary, use glasses.
3) Self-service.
Self-care is the ability to take care of yourself. Newborn babies are completely helpless and depend on others for everything. But skills acquired with age and development—such as learning to eat, dress, and use the toilet—allow children to become more independent.
4) Cognition. (Cognitive development).
Cognition can be defined as the ability to understand the world around us through reasoning and problem solving. Early cognitive skills include the concept of object permanence (things continue to exist when they are not visible) and the concept of cause and effect (certain actions produce predictable consequences). Ultimately, children learn to make inferences based on direct experience, observations, and memories. Learning to construct complex abstract concepts takes time. Initially, a child learns through games. For example, the wonderful children's game of hide and seek, or its variation in which you need to find an object hidden under a scarf, develops the concept of the permanence of objects.
5) Speech.
One of the most important achievements of a child at an early age is the development of the ability to communicate, which is divided into two areas: impressive (perception) and expressive (expression). Impressive language refers to the ability to understand words and gestures. Expressive language is the ability to use words and gestures to communicate. Impressive speech usually develops faster than expressive speech.
6) Social sphere.
Here we are talking about the ability to form constructive relationships with others. This, like everything else, children learn in and through play. First, in infancy, through games, they learn to respond correctly to stimuli and enter into relationships with adults. As they get older, they begin to play with their peers and learn to dominate, to give in, to compromise, to act together - in short, they acquire skills that allow them to grow over time into productive members of society.
Sensory perception.
Sensory perception is the ability to perceive and understand sensory sensations such as touch, sound, light, smell and movement. Sensory perception is an integral and extremely important part of the overall development of a child. When any of the feelings are absent or not clearly expressed, this will inevitably affect progress in all six areas of development. If a newborn’s sensory system operates in a protective mode, responding to external stimuli with reflexes such as trembling, blinking and gagging, then as the child develops , sensory perception skills improve and become finer, allowing the child to distinguish materials by touch or foods by taste.
What else you can read: How to potty train a child.
Fear of change: fear of the opinions of others
To the extent that a person overcomes fear, he is a person.
Thomas Carlyle, British writer
Many people are afraid that if they fail, they will be ridiculed by others and loved ones. If a person plans to win a competition or achieve a promotion, it seems to him that everyone around him is just waiting for him to disgrace himself and will constantly remind him that “you can’t go against fate.”
This approach creates destructive fatalism. A person begins to blame fate for everything, and perceive his life as already predetermined for him. Under no circumstances should you allow such thoughts even for one moment, otherwise you can stand in one place until old age.
It is noteworthy that if a person does not achieve success, those around him will condemn him for being indecisive and cowardly. So is it worth giving them such a reason? You can only overcome your irrational fear by taking action.
One very useful piece of advice can be given to doubting people. If they are used to thinking about their steps for a long time, they should imagine what the worst case scenario would look like and think through their actions. If they are so afraid of shame or humiliation, it means that the act they were planning was unseemly or affected the interests of others. For example, if a candidate for the position of director writes a denunciation of a competitor, or commits forgery, such methods of achieving goals will be unacceptable, and he will certainly face the contempt of all members of the team.
It is very important that a person is supported in his endeavors by those on whom he counts most, because ultimately he strives to improve their lives. After all, there is nothing worse than seeing an outright loser and a coward in the face of your loved one. But if it is clear to him that his efforts will be appreciated and will not be reproached in case of failure, he will be able to rebuild, and in any case will not stray from the path to his goal. The fear of development will be overcome.
There is no reason to admit that fears of development can be justified in any way. This discourages a person, distracts him from his main goals, and leads him on the wrong trail. This condition can be explained, but at the same time, effective methods can be thought of to combat it.
Fear of change: analysis of past life situations is necessary
In order to finally convince yourself not to be afraid of anything, it is worth remembering and holding before your eyes those pictures from the past in which good opportunities were missed precisely due to fear alone. You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself here, because a little anger about your indecision will give you new strength.
For this you should:
- imagine that your friends have achieved more, and you deliberately refused career growth so as not to become a laughing stock;
- imagine that you would be able to get an athletic figure if there was no fear of going to the gym;
- regret that you could have won the competition, but were embarrassed to go on stage.
Fears of development will recede, and you will gain determination. The most important motivational phrase should be: “It’s never too late to start a new life. I suffered all the time because of fear, but now it cannot stop me.”
Thoughts aimed at absolute defeat will lead to new fears, and this vicious circle will never end. They should not be cultivated and fertile soil should not be created for them. Fear of development is irrational and should not be confused with the instinct of self-preservation.
Not a single person has been able to change his destiny by letting in the fears of development. Only then can something be changed if the first victory over oneself takes him out of the vicious circle and proves the groundlessness of all fears.
One applicant for a position at a prestigious enterprise was very afraid of rejection, and he set himself up for failure so much that he could not put together even a few words during the interview. Despite the fact that he had extensive work experience, he was perceived as an incompetent and unconfident specialist. And the reason that he was refused was the fear of development. It seemed to him that a confident speech about his merits and advantages would be perceived as immodesty, and the result is obvious.
Patterns of human personality development
Personal development is not random or chaotic, but in many ways a natural process. It obeys certain rules, which are called psychological laws of development. They record the most general and essential properties of personal development, knowledge of which allows us to better understand this phenomenon.
The first of the laws we are considering answers the question about the causes, sources and driving forces of personality development. In other words, what makes a child develop and where is the source of development. Psychological research shows that a child initially has the ability to develop. The source of development is his needs, the need to satisfy which stimulates the development of corresponding psychological capabilities and means: abilities, character traits, volitional qualities, etc. The development of psychological capabilities, in turn, leads to the emergence of new needs and motives, etc. These developmental cycles continuously follow each other, raising the child to ever higher levels of personal development. Thus, the source of personal development lies in the child himself. The people around him or life circumstances can only speed up or slow down this process, but they are not able to stop it. It does not at all follow from this that the mental development of the individual is carried out on the basis of biological maturation. Developability (ability to develop) represents only the potential opportunity to become an individual. This can happen only under certain conditions.
Personality development is not smooth, but spasmodic . Relatively long (up to several years) periods of fairly calm and uniform development are replaced by fairly short (up to several months) periods of sharp and significant personal changes. They are very important in their psychological consequences and significance for the individual. It is no coincidence that they are called critical moments of development, or age-related crises. They are experienced quite hard on a subjective level, which is also reflected in the child’s behavior and in his relationships with people around him. Age-related crises form unique psychological boundaries between age periods. Throughout personal development, several age-related crises are distinguished. They occur most clearly in the following periods: 1 year, 3 years, 6-7 years and 11-14 years.
Personal development is carried out in stages and consistently . Each age period naturally follows from the previous one and creates the prerequisites and conditions for the subsequent one. Each of them is absolutely necessary and mandatory for the full development of a person’s personality, since it provides particularly favorable conditions for the formation of certain mental functions and personal properties. This feature of age periods is called sensitivity. In Russian psychology, it is customary to distinguish six periods of age-related development:
1) infancy (from birth to one year); 2) early preschool age (from 1 to 3 years); 3) junior and middle preschool age (from 4-5 to 6-7 years); 4) junior school age (from 6-7 to 10-11 years); 5) adolescence (from 10-11 to 13-14 years); 6) early adolescence (from 13-14 to 16-17 years).
By this time, the person reaches a fairly high level of personal maturity, which does not mean the cessation of mental development.
The next very important property of development is its irreversibility . This eliminates any possibility of repeating a certain age period again. Each period of life is unique and inimitable in its own way. Formed personal substructures and qualities are either impossible or almost impossible to change, just as it is impossible to fully compensate for what was not formed in a timely manner. This places a huge responsibility on people involved in education and upbringing. * Based on materials from the book “Psychology of Business Relations” Zankovsky A.N.
