Suffering is a call to search,
any pain requires investigation.
Don't be lazy to think.
Nisargadatta Maharaj
As we have already found out, a false idea of the contradictory nature of the world creates the illusion of chaos surrounding us. And it causes a feeling of uncontrollability of the events happening to us and around us. If we don’t understand something, we won’t be able to accept it, which means we won’t be able to integrate it into our individual image of the surrounding reality. The extreme degree of non-acceptance of objective reality is its denial.
Let's figure out what this means? In what form is it expressed? What are the reasons for refusing reality? And what consequences inevitably follow?
But first it is necessary to specify the concepts that we will consider.
In the philosophy of extreme denial of reality, they even came up with a separate term - solipsism (from the Latin word solus - alone, lonely and ipse - yourself).
This is a way of perceiving the world, characterized by the recognition of one’s own individual consciousness as the only and undoubted reality and the denial of the objective existence of the surrounding reality. It is a direct consequence of the extreme degree of separation of oneself from other individuals and from the world as a whole. Which is expressed in its very definition in Latin - loneliness.
Psychology, in turn, believes that denial is a defense mechanism with the help of which a person can reject one of the aspects of actually existing reality. At first glance, this is a paradoxical formulation. How can you protect yourself from reality by refusing to perceive it? Just close your eyes or bury your head in the sand? But we are not ostriches. The consequences of using such methods to combat danger should be obvious to us.
Although humans are also sometimes characterized by similar methods of self-defense. But the main reason for refusing to perceive objective reality is the threat of destruction of the integrity of the image of the surrounding reality we have created. The logical interconnectedness between all fragments of the picture of the universe, as a rule, is more important for our survival than its individual element, which can be abandoned relatively painlessly.
The formulations given by scientists of the human ability and need to deny reality once again confirm our conclusions about the reasons for its appearance. In the general case, this is a protective function of our consciousness from the inability to fully perceive the diversity of a single and interconnected objectively existing world.
We are unable to see, understand and accept it entirely without exception. We will talk about the origin of these restrictions later and in great detail. For now, in the context of the issue under consideration, let me remind you: the small and separate cannot fully perceive the infinite and interconnected. Let's take this for granted.
In order to better understand the reasons for the denial of certain aspects of the objectively existing world, we will formulate definitions of each phase of this process and show how and why they transform into each other.
What is denial in psychology
Denial in psychology is one of the methods of psychological defense that involves abandoning reality. A person refuses thoughts, feelings, desires and emotions that his consciousness simply cannot accept. To put it simply, it is an unwillingness to come to terms with the truth.
In denial, people persistently try to avoid new information if it does not match their existing positive opinion about themselves. They either shy away from it or ignore it completely.
Interesting! The concept of denial as a method of psychological defense was first introduced by Sigmund Freud. Anna Freud offered more detailed information about him.
Normally, denial is turned on for several hours, while the brain and consciousness get used to new circumstances, entering them into an already existing database. Afterwards, other psychological defense mechanisms are activated, which sooner or later lead to acceptance. It can be partial or gradual, as if extended over time. But it still happens.
Denial develops in childhood, when a small child cannot yet influence the world around him and thereby change reality. According to psychology, most often it manifests itself in suggestible people or those who suffer from any diseases of internal organs and systems.
Reasons for denial and consequences
Denial is often the lifestyle of a codependent family. In a family where there is an addict, they live with a feeling of shame. And it is considered extremely indecent to talk about it outside your family. No one should break the rule “not to wash dirty linen in public.” Otherwise, inevitable punishment will follow in the form of rejection. Moreover, they can label someone who dares to reveal a “family secret” as “rat.”
And gradually the child learns not to trust his eyes, ears, bodily sensations, thoughts, desires and emotions. In the end, he will deny his inner world, and therefore deny himself.
In a family where violence (physical, sexual, emotional) occurs, the child will deny the fact of the traumatic event. He may even forget about it completely. Forgetting is a form of denial. The child’s psyche is thus protected from unbearable emotional pain, essentially associated with the betrayal of his relatives towards him.
What's the result? As an adult, he will continue to ignore his feelings and needs, idealizing others. He will look for in others what he did not receive in his childhood: protection, security, understanding and warmth. He will find his “ideal” and will not even notice how he will repeat the family scenario and thus bring denial into his family.
Denial as a psychological defense mechanism
In some cases, the use of negation is justified. Here are some examples:
- A person is faced with a serious problem, for example, the death of someone close to him. Including psychological protection of consciousness and psyche, he protects himself from pain, horror, feelings of helplessness and feelings of loss. In this state, he is still able to make informed decisions, including about organizing a funeral. A similar situation happens during natural disasters. At first, a person is not aware of what is happening around him. Thanks to this, he can mobilize and direct all his strength to salvation. And only then, when nothing threatens his life, will he relax and be able to accept new circumstances.
- The second example concerns serious illnesses. Most patients, after diagnosis and the start of treatment, live as if outside of reality, not perceiving what happened as the truth. Sometimes it seems that this is how it should be, because in this way they preserve their personality and sanity from shocks. Denial turns on unconsciously. It is also unconscious and switched off when new conditions arise, for example, changed treatment methods or awareness of imminent death.
As a third example, we can cite the familiar phrase spoken by Scarlett O'Hara: “I'll think about it tomorrow.” The girl fell asleep in the old reality, leaving the new one with its shocks in the morning. This is the conscious use of denial as a method of psychological defense. There are two options for the development of events here. The first is that circumstances will change so much that the issue will no longer have to be resolved. The second is that the person will still accept reality and work on solving the problem.
System of delusions and denial in dependent patients
The first and most important problem that relatives of addicts and specialists working with them face is the inability of the addict to honestly look at his life, at the problems that drug use brings him. The main reason is that quitting a substance (alcohol/drugs) is a loss. For a long time, the addict built his life around drug use; it took a leading role in his value system. Everything was built around use: friendship, acquaintances, work, leisure; the substance gave comfort, allowed you to relax, communicate freely with other people, have sex, gave oblivion and calm. It is extremely difficult to come to terms with such a loss, and the “voice of illness” forces the addict to turn a blind eye to the gravity of his situation. Most often, the persuasion of loved ones does not produce any results. Everyone except himself can see that his life is falling apart, and the reason for this is drug use. The tenacity of the illusion that an alcoholic/drug addict himself can cope with his problems is so strong that the addict can continue to believe in it even on the verge of death. Admitting oneself as an alcoholic or drug addict for many people means admitting that they have fallen to the lowest rung of the social ladder, admitting a serious vice. It also happens that some addicts admit that they are sick and even allow relatives to take them for treatment, but recognizing the disease does not mean accepting it.
On the path of acceptance, a number of protective barriers are built - a system of illusions and denial. Denial is a psychological defense mechanism, the ability to ignore and deny what is happening, in other words, the ability not to believe your own eyes. Let's look at the main types of denial:
- Minimization – downplaying the quantity, frequency of use, downplaying problems.
- Direct denial is a direct denial of the facts of uncontrollable behavior.
- Rationalization - finding rational explanations for use, when the addict gives his actions the appearance of rationality, justifies the use with “objective” reasons.
- Intellectualization - the addict relies on “scientific” knowledge about substances, various philosophies on the topic of use.
- Blaming is shifting responsibility for one's use onto others.
- Projection - transferring one's problems onto other people
- Comparison is a search for people/situations that make the addict’s problems seem less serious.
I only drink/use on weekends.
I only drink beer or wine/I only do “soft” drugs.
I only use it in company, only after work, etc.
I have no problems, I'm not an alcoholic.
I have everything under control.
Business meetings force me to drink.
I drink to fall asleep.
There is a lot of stress in my life and I have to use.
Red wine is good for health.
Drugs expand consciousness.
Many great scientists made their discoveries under the influence of psychotropic substances.
I got drunk because you drove me crazy.
If only you didn't control me so much...
I didn't intend to drink, but my friends talked me into it.
Yes, everyone around is drinking!
My mother's friend's son is a 100% drug addict.
Vasya uses drugs, he’s a drug addict.
Alcoholics are those who lie under the fence.
He was fired from his job, he is an alcoholic, but I am not.
Overcoming denial is the longest and most difficult process in addiction treatment, and for the patient it is painful and unpleasant. At this stage, the patient most actively expresses resistance. Work with denial occurs mainly through therapeutic tasks, thanks to which the patient seems to live his life again. Feedback from similar addicts in therapeutic groups, individual consultations, reading literature and the experience of other addicts will help him see the truth.
Examples from life
A good example is a person who abuses alcohol and his family members. Denial allows him not to see the problem, to refuse it. It is not surprising that alcoholics often use this defense mechanism, since otherwise they would have to not only admit their addiction, but also do something to get rid of it.
The most dangerous thing in this situation is not only that denial destroys a person both physically and morally, problems appear in the family and at work, relationships with other people deteriorate, etc. Children of alcoholics often become alcoholics themselves. And this is despite the fact that in childhood they vowed not to become like their fathers/mothers. If they admit that they have become the same, they will completely destroy the positive image of themselves as a person. In addition, for them it will be a betrayal of themselves in childhood, a deception of that small, pure and sincere man who promised himself to grow up differently.
Let's give another example. Already in adulthood, one of the woman’s two children died. Several years have passed, and she still continues to clean his room, while maintaining the order of things that was with him, talking only about him, fitting him into her plans. She doesn’t seem to notice the second child, just like everything that happens around her. The house, dacha, health status, family relationships are ignored. The woman looks like an insect frozen in amber resin. She lives in her reality.
Forms and degrees of denial of reality
Before we begin to interact with the surrounding reality, we must first form a relatively plausible image of it. By comparing reality with our ideas about it, we make certain decisions and take actions to achieve an acceptable result.
Our life can be compared to moving around. If the area we are moving through is familiar to us, or we have a detailed and understandable map, then this will not cause any problems. We will quickly navigate the space, choose the most optimal of all possible routes and easily get to our destination.
This option is only possible if we see, understand and fully accept the world in which we live. Let me remind you that achieving this highly desirable state is our main goal.
But, unfortunately, subjective ideas about the world are extremely far from objectively existing reality. In other words, the map we previously compiled does not correspond to the area where we are located. At the same time, it is necessary to remember that the image of the universe that we create throughout our lives is at the same time our individual truth, and everything that does not correspond to it is not perceived by us.
In order to somehow determine our location on the path of life, we will have to ignore individual fragments of reality that contradict previously formed beliefs. Otherwise, we will completely lose orientation in the world around us and will not be able to exist in it.
The degree of non-acceptance of reality depends on how much its image created by us is distorted by misconceptions and illusions. Let's consider some of the stages and forms of denial of reality from the point of view of a consistent picture of the world.
- Doubts and confusion are the result of disorientation in the decision-making space, the inability to make a meaningful choice. Loss of meaning and goals for further activities. The reason, as a rule, is the discrepancy between the observed reality and our ideas about it. We begin to realize that we are lost.
- Dejection is a passive separation of oneself from the world in all its manifestations. Loss of motivation and interest in life. The result of the formation of a misconception about the meaninglessness of any actions to achieve a certain goal. Causes loss of strength and blocks all activity. A false idea of the hopelessness of the situation in which we find ourselves.
- Resentment is an unconscious internal protest against the illusion of aggression from the outside world. Transferring the blame for what happened to us to others. An extreme case of refusal of responsibility, lack of understanding of one’s role and significance. An inactive way of protecting yourself through emotional separation of yourself from the surrounding reality. It is usually caused by a feeling of threat of destruction of one’s inner world from the outside. Everyone is to blame for everything, but not me.
- Hatred is the extreme degree of denial of reality, expressed in an aggressive form and aimed at destroying its individual fragments. Contrasting oneself with a certain part of the world, moving into the active phase of confronting the perceived threat. The cause of hatred is fear generated by a lack of understanding of what is happening around us. An image of a specific enemy is formed - the cause and source of everything bad.
All of the listed states, due to their intuitive clarity, can serve as a criterion for an objective assessment of the stage of non-acceptance of reality at which we find ourselves. The fewer of them in our lives and the softer the form they appear, the simpler and more comfortable our existence. And this, in turn, means that we sufficiently understand and accept the surrounding reality.
The list of stages and forms of denial of reality can be supplemented and expanded, but in the context of the topic under consideration this does not make much sense. It is important for us to understand that there is a direct relationship between the amount of accumulated internal contradictory beliefs and the degree of conflict with the outside world. We will examine this relationship in more detail when we talk about the consequences of non-acceptance of reality, but for now we will consider the sources of origin of this phenomenon.
