“What to do if a child has a feeling of fear?” Psychologist's advice to parents

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Fear is a normal reaction to a threat. It often begins in childhood, when children learn about the world. Feelings of anxiety and other signs of fear interfere with mental development. You need to figure out how to remove fear from a child.

Children's fears should be controlled so that they do not harm the psyche

Sometimes anxiety is so strong that it can leave its mark on the psyche. The danger of such a reaction cannot be underestimated.

Emergence

The panic fear that appears in children is associated with factors that in reality do not pose a danger. This is due to underdeveloped logical thinking, as well as the rich imagination typical of all preschoolers. The child's psyche is fragile and unstable. In the modern world this is potentially dangerous. A shy and peaceful child may become an accidental witness to an accident (road accident, fire, dog aggression, adult violence, etc.) and this will cause the emergence of fear.

The fear of children cannot be ignored. Parents must be careful and vigilant. Anxiety, irritability, moodiness, and unusual behavior may indicate the development of a phobia. The inaction of the mother and father threatens with such problems as neurotic manifestations.

Causes

Children often suffer from fear of past traumatic situations and the risk of their recurrence. Fear of animals arises from an experience of an encounter with an aggressive animal, fear of heights from accidental painful falls. Common reasons are:

• constant prohibitions from parents;
• family conflicts;
• watching films and television shows that show natural disasters, scenes of violence, etc.;
• disagreements with peers;
• problems at school;
• fantasies.

Often, parents themselves instill fears, which not only affect the formation of character, but can also affect his mental health.

A simple warning about danger (“Don’t tumble - you can get injured”, “Don’t touch the dog - it will bite!”) characterizes surrounding objects and certain actions as dangerous. This is how fears are born.

Children's fantasies can cause fear

Types of fears

Children are afraid of objects, phenomena, their own fantasies and the people around them. Each case of anxiety detection is individual; it is problematic to describe all types of fear. All fears of children can be divided into several groups:

1. Obsessive. Fear of heights, crowds, etc.
2. Delusional. Cannot be explained logically. An example would be the fear of putting on a certain shirt or the fear of picking up a certain toy.
3. Super valuable. Fear of fairy tale characters, cartoon characters, etc.
4. Real. They appear when danger arises as a result of the instinct of self-preservation.
5. Neurotic. Caused by disruption of the nervous system.
6. Free. Characterized by the expectation of danger at moments that have nothing to do with the real environment.

Age-related fears that can appear and disappear also apply to children. With proper and harmonious upbringing of the child, fears can disappear on their own.

Types of childhood fears

Types of childhood pathological fear syndrome

Experts divide phobias into several types:

1. Night terrors. This group includes nightmares. The child's sleep process is accompanied by involuntary actions (talking, sleepwalking, convulsions, urination). After waking up, the baby immediately looks for his parents or falls asleep soundly and does not remember anything in the morning.
2. Unreasonable worries. This is the most common type of childhood fear. A person is afraid of the dark, loneliness, fairy-tale and cartoon characters, often inventing non-existent moments. There is no point in convincing a child that the fear is groundless; he will insist on his own.
3. Fears of an obsessive nature. This category includes phobias of open and enclosed spaces, heights, flying on an airplane, and others.
4. Delusional experiences. Here the objects of fear are ordinary things (toys, items of clothing, telephone). Coping with such fear is not difficult if you understand its cause.

Age-related features of manifestation

The most effective prevention is to prevent its manifestation. The most caring parents cannot protect their baby from random sounds, violent scenes on television, etc. Separation from loved ones can lead to serious problems.

For a child, this can cause the development of a phobia. Some fears are natural; they are present in most children of different ages.

1–3 years

Children from 2-3 years old begin to distinguish between people as friends and strangers. Strangers can cause fear, and temporary separation from loved ones also causes anxiety.

At this age, a child cannot yet overcome his own fears on his own. He is just beginning to explore the world, increasing his knowledge and gaining life experience. From 2-3 years of age, he may also develop:

• fear of pain;
• fear of doctors;
• fear of heights;
• fear of the dark;
• night terrors.

Most of the fears that arise at this age leave their mark on the psyche, and they can manifest themselves in adulthood.

3–5 years

At this age, it is difficult for a child to overcome night terrors; he may be afraid of fairy-tale characters. At the age of 4-5 years, a fear of loneliness may appear, caused by a strong emotional attachment to parents. The reasons for the development of fear can be cases of aggression from animals. An experienced traumatic situation or simple fear creates a fear of animals, which can cause serious mental disorders.

5–7 years

Getting ready for school. At the age of 5-7 years, the child acquires a certain social role. His usual social circle is replaced by a new one, new friends appear at school. Fears begin to be social in nature. They are connected:

• with fear of teachers;
• with fear of individuals in a school or classroom;
• with fear of the answer at the blackboard.

Once in a new environment, the child begins to feel embarrassed. He may develop self-doubt. The most dangerous time is the adaptation period. If you fail to overcome your own fears at the age of 7, they will progress.

7–11 years

Fears that began at 7-8 years old can intensify with age. The child may have a fear of answering in front of the board, a fear of answering the teacher’s questions, and a fear of getting a bad grade. Affects the manifestations of fear and parenting.

Poor performance at school often becomes the reason for the fear of being punished. At this age, a fear of dark rooms may appear, as well as a fear of physical violence.

11–16 years old

High school students have different problems. During adolescence, most of the fears from childhood disappear, they are replaced by the fear of passing exams, searching for a future profession, etc. This age coincides with puberty. High school students may experience fear of relationships with the opposite sex.

Between the ages of 12 and 16, children may feel anxious about their own social status. They strive to show their best side everywhere and perceive any failure with fear. Failures in sports, creativity, etc. can cause fear. Due to lack of self-confidence, some children find it difficult to find a common language with their peers.

Types of fears in children 4-6 years old

Conventionally, children's fears can be divided into two types: real and fantasy .

Real fears

Real ones include those that have a completely understandable reason:

1. fear of insects and animals;
2. fear of white coats;
3. fear of loud sounds, scandals;
4. fear of strangers;
5. a state of anxiety caused by the long absence of the mother;
6. fear of the dark;
7. fear of confined spaces;
8. fear of punishment.

These fears are typical both for children aged two to three years, and for children four to six - they accompany several age periods.

Fantasy fears

At three or four years old, a child actively develops abstract thinking, which causes the appearance of another type of fear: fantasy fears. This group is born from the imagination of children. This includes:

• fear of fictional characters;
• fear of nightmares;

Identifying problems

In both preschoolers and primary school students, anxiety can be identified using well-known methods of child psychologists. The most popular way to identify fear is the diagnostic system of A. Zakharov and M. Panfilova “Fears in houses”:

1. The child draws two houses on a piece of paper. One in black pencil, the other in red.
2. The specialist suggests playing a game, dispersing fears throughout the houses. All non-fearful fears should be placed in red, and scary fears should be placed in black.
3. The psychologist lists possible fear options, and the child sketches them.

At the initial stage of this diagnostic method, a psychologist observes the drawing process. The specialist assesses the number of drawings that the child placed in the black house. A psychologist can understand what to do next with the patient, how to cure him and what correction methods to use.

In some situations, experts ask to draw a lock on the door of a black house. This action will help the patient understand that he is safe, since fears are locked away.

A psychologist will help you understand children's problems

Reasons for real fears and how to respond to them

Let's take a closer look at the main childhood fears in children from 4 to 6 years old and try to figure out what adults need to do about it. Provided a competent approach and adequate support from parents, in the absence of conflicts in the family, children's fear is overcome quite quickly.

Fear of animals and insects

For some children, the fear of insects or animals is relevant.

What to do?

In such cases, it is recommended to change the baby’s emotional state - from frightening to interested. For example, go out into the field with him, find a spider there, and put it on your palm. After this, you should explain to your child that the spider is completely open in front of you, is not up to anything and, on the contrary, is more vulnerable than people.

Telling interesting stories about animals and insects that your baby is afraid of can arouse curiosity on his part. The more the baby knows about the subject of his fear, the faster he will get rid of fear.

In the case of a dog, you also need to create a favorable background around the animal. Never yell at your child or intimidate him because the dog might bite or infect him with something. Explain to your child that it is forbidden to pet a dog without the owner’s permission and that it is better to establish first contacts with the animal from a distance so as not to scare it away.

Look through books and encyclopedias about animals, visit exhibitions, and demonstrate how to safely interact with insects and animals by your own example.

Fear of white coats

This fear is closely related to the fear of pain. An injection given by a person in a medical cap and a white coat, or an examination with unpleasant instruments leaves a child with an association with unpleasant sensations for a long time. Children begin to be terrified of doctors, and this fear is much stronger and more dangerous than the pain itself caused by the procedure.

What to do?

To reduce the fear of people in white coats, a few days before going to the clinic, tell your child about the doctor’s work. Play doctor with him, using as many special medical instruments as possible: listen to him, examine the oral cavity, and perform other possible manipulations. Be sure to switch roles with him.

When communicating with the doctor and nurse from the treatment room, be courteous and polite, watch your emotions: smile kindly, behave at ease - the child should see your calmness and confidence that nothing threatens him.

If you visited the dentist or vaccination office, do not forget to praise your baby for his patience and courage, even if his condition was the opposite. After leaving the clinic, try to immediately switch the baby’s attention to other objects: tell him an interesting story, a fairy tale.

Fear of loud noises

One of the innate fears of humans is the fear of sharp sounds. Nature is designed in such a way that a loud sound is a symbol of danger. In addition, loud sounds contribute to overstrain of brain cells and lead to disruption in the functioning of some organs. Therefore, the instinct of self-preservation makes the child flinch at sharp shouts, roar, or grinding of machines.

What to do?

If your baby suddenly bursts into tears due to thunder or other sudden noise, you should stand next to him, hug him and let him know that you can protect him, he is safe next to you. Do not laugh at him, do not shame him, otherwise he will begin to hide his fear from you, but he is unlikely to be able to cope with it on his own.

It is best to start games with different sounds: from quiet to loud. A metallophone and ringing metal spoons are suitable for practicing. Go together to a noisy children's party or a fun attraction where everyone squeals, screams and jumps. The joyful noise will gradually accustom the baby to loud sounds.

Fear of strangers

Fear of strangers arises in infancy and has quite obvious roots. It is formed at the physiological level - the baby subconsciously begins to sense danger in a stranger. At the same time, he withdraws, lowers his head and hides behind a loved one.

If parents behave correctly, fear usually goes away by the age of three or four. But, if socialization at this age has not begun, it is worth paying special attention to the problem. Otherwise, the situation threatens to lower the child’s self-esteem and negatively affect further communication with peers.

What to do?

Since fear in this case goes hand in hand with shyness, parents need to take the first steps themselves. For example, approach children on the playground with your child who are already communicating with each other. Talk to them, introduce them to your child. You should visit children's centers and developmental classes more often, and visit friends who have children of the same age.

If the baby is afraid to be alone with another adult, for example, with a nanny, you need to take a little more time to get to know each other. In order for the child to get used to strangers, the three of them need to spend some time together. As soon as the baby begins to trust the new person, contact him first, you can safely leave them alone.

Fear of loneliness

The fear of being left without a mother for a long time is considered a common fear among children. In no case should he be mistaken for spoiled behavior or unreasonable whims. The fear of losing your mother is quite natural and requires a delicate approach.

What to do?

Always explain to your child when you will be back. For example: - “After you sleep and eat your afternoon snack.” It is recommended to make such approvals regular. In this case, you should not only negotiate kindly with the baby, but also fulfill your promises in a timely manner.

Fear of the dark and nightmares

One of the important childhood fears is the fear of the dark. The baby’s imagination develops rapidly, giving him monsters, scary characters from cartoons, fairy tales, books, hidden in the closet or under the bed.

What to do?

The main condition for combating the fear of the dark and fictional characters is a calm psychological atmosphere in the house. Under no circumstances should you scold a child for being afraid or throw indifferent phrases like this: “There’s nothing scary there.”

Reassure your child that he is completely safe. To do this, leave the door to his room open, buy a funny children's night light.

Offer to draw or sculpt someone he is afraid of, then give the hero a comic look and laugh at him together.

Come up with an interesting fairy tale with a scary character from a child's imagination, ending it positively. Your hero should gradually turn into a good friend and assistant.

Make it a rule before going to bed to calmly talk with your child in his room, read books, listen to calm music together. Physical contact and gentle words are appropriate.

Claustrophobia

The fear of the dark has something in common with the fear of enclosed spaces. The child may not voice the problem and the parents notice it themselves, closing the door to his room in the evening, or getting stuck in the elevator with him. Frequent manifestations of claustrophobia are accompanied by panic attacks and dizziness. Children can run to their parents in the middle of the night and start crying.

This obsessive fear occurs more often in the only child in the family who has limitations in communicating with peers. It especially affects children who receive excessive amounts of affection and love.

What to do?

First of all, the child in such a situation should be calmed down and taught to breathe evenly. Scolding someone for what you think is an unmotivated fear is strictly prohibited. You can’t do the opposite and lock him in the room.

Games aimed at overcoming the stiffness that arises in a confined space can be effective. For example, a specialist in the field of child psyche A.I. Zakharov offers the psychological game “Penetration and exit from the circle.”

The essence of the game is that adults and children stand in a circle, clasp their hands and close their eyes. At the same time, they declare out loud that no one will be able to penetrate their circle - they carefully guard it and there is no place for any daredevils there. This phrase itself subconsciously incites the child to fall into the circle. Players walk outside the circle and try to slip unnoticed under one of the pairs of hands. The one who slipped into the middle loudly claps his hands and everyone opens their eyes in surprise. The second part of the game involves the same way out of the circle.

Fear of punishment

Even the most harmless punishment of a child can lead to unexpected consequences. Thanks to measures to lock a naughty baby in a dark room, closet or other place with little light, he may develop several fears at once: fear of confined spaces, darkness, loneliness, the appearance of nightmares in his sleep.

In addition, such punishments break the child’s psychological connection with adults; he feels alienated by his parents, which in the future can lead to problems in marriage for an adult.

What to do?

It is worth remembering that any mistake of a child is, first of all, a parental omission in upbringing. And that means you need to punish yourself, not him. Any reproach should always be expressed in the form of love for the baby. Otherwise, he will begin to associate the evil mother with Baba Yaga from a fairy tale, and his father with the Serpent Gorynych, which will give rise, in addition to the above fears, also fantasy ones. You can read more about this type of fear in the article “Fear of fairy-tale heroes and fictional characters.”

Mental correction

Children's fears and methods for correcting them in preschool children are distinguished by a special approach. It is important to establish contact with the child and determine the causes and signs of problems in a playful or educational way. Parents can help overcome anxiety by first consulting a psychotherapist. How to deal with childhood fears:

1. Play therapy. The advantage of this therapy is that the young patient does not understand what is happening. He plays with his parents or a specialist. The psychologist’s task is to create conditions during the game that cause fear in him. It is important to show how to cope with a difficult situation.
2. Drawing. The most effective way to diagnose and correct fears in both preschool children and those already in school. Drawing classes are aimed at expressing emotions and experiences by transferring them to paper. It will be easier to deal with the problem if the specialist helps the patient present the visualized fear in a humorous form.
3. Sand therapy. Refers to effective methods of art therapy. Helps not only relieve tension, but also identify fear and fight it.
4. Fairytale therapy and puppet therapy. The main task is to create a fairy-tale situation where a character (a doll) overcomes fear, relying on real ways to suppress it.

The same measures are used to overcome anxiety in younger preschoolers. It will be easier for high school students to cope with the problem. In addition to art therapy, various trainings can be used, as well as classes with questionnaires and tests. The conversation method can be used for children of senior school age, provided that the child makes contact with a specialist.

The content of the sessions may vary. Specialists can work with the following techniques and methods:

1. Interpretation. Helps the child overcome his own fears by instilling rationalization of his negative thoughts.
2. Reaction. The main goal is to create an artificial environment for the expression of negative emotions.
3. Desensitization. Exercises of this nature allow you to work out a mechanism for overcoming fear when periodically encountering it. Classes are used to identify and correct phobias.
4. Containing. Accepting the child's feelings and emotions.

It will be easier to find out the main causes of fear and remove some signs of fear if parents also take part in the therapy. A child psychology specialist can give them advice and recommend exercises that will help children overcome their fear.

What is important to consider when dealing with fears?

It is necessary to use all the methods known to you: play therapy, fairy tale therapy, art therapy (sculpting, drawing, appliqué), friendly conversations

1. Love, warmth, and sincere participation of parents in solving problems with fears in half of the cases eliminate fear in the bud.
2. You cannot scold and go from the opposite direction - forcing the child to overcome fear by force. Only a gentle explanation and encouragement will help in situations where the child manages to cope with fear on his own initiative.
3. It is necessary to use all the methods known to you: play therapy, fairy tale therapy, art therapy (sculpting, drawing, appliqué), friendly conversations.
4. You should not expect a quick effect. Combating fear is a painstaking process that requires great moral commitment from parents.
5. If something doesn’t work out for you and your baby’s fear develops into a phobia, be sure to consult a specialist.

Methods of dealing with fears: Fairy tale therapy for children's fears. Correction of children's fears with the help of art therapy. Getting rid of fears with the help of games. Examples

Best of all: create a safe environment at home. A child should always see a confident father and a gentle, caring mother. Then there will be no place for fears in his life for long.

Recommendations for parents

Psychocorrectional work with a child will be more effective if parents can help him with their support and creation of a favorable atmosphere in the family. Psychologists give the following advice:

1. Spend more time with your child (especially under the age of 3-5 years). It is important that children feel safe. Joint entertaining and educational games can help with this.
2. Stop intimidating children in an educational manner. Forced therapy with them occurs due to the fault of parents and improper upbringing. By reviewing the mistakes, it will be easier for the child to get rid of anxiety.
3. Do not prevent your child from being afraid. Many parents, when they notice signs of anxiety in their child, tell him that there is no need to be afraid of the object of fear. This is the wrong approach. He can overcome his own anxiety on his own.

Psychocorrection of fears in children differs from the program that is used for adults. The psyche of schoolchildren and preschoolers is very fragile. It is necessary to teach a child to overcome difficulties. Do not use overprotection and total control, they can become the reason for new phobias.

How to help a child with fears

Treatment with medications

Drug therapy allows you to get rid of the symptoms that torment the patient. This treatment is secondary. It becomes fundamental only when mental correction is ineffective or due to the overflow of a phobia into neurotic diseases.

Tablets prescribed by a doctor can help relieve tension, depression and even symptoms of asthenia. Doctors prescribe to young patients:

• for asthenic manifestations, vitamins and calcium supplements, nootropic agents;
• for depression, mild antidepressants;
• for severe excitability, sedatives;
• for hyposthenia, tranquilizers.

It is necessary to treat young patients using complex therapy methods. It combines medication, physiotherapy and individual work by a psychologist with the child. His age is taken into account.

In patients under eight years of age, the manifestation of anxiety can most often be overcome only by psychotherapy. Medicines are used only when there is a threat of neurotic manifestations.

Treatment with medications is usually combined with psychological correction

The benefits of fears

Fears are natural for everyone. Their origin in childhood is due to psycho-emotional development against the background of the instinct of self-preservation. From an early age, parents raise their child and tell him what he can do and what he cannot do. Without awareness of the concepts of “good” and “bad,” a person becomes vulnerable. Fear is normal. It’s bad when a child is not afraid of anything.

According to doctors, fear can be useful and it is not always necessary to fight it.

In a critical situation, the body produces adrenaline. This hormone helps improve brain function.

Experts advise seeking help only if signs of anxiety recur regularly.

Scary dreams

In addition to daytime fears, psychologists pay attention to the existence of nightmares. These are scary dreams that can recur. Children dream of monsters and terrible events. Typically, nightmares appear against the background of daytime fears. Such children ask to leave the light on at night, strive to be closer to their parents, cry out and move restlessly in their sleep.

It is possible to protect your child from such unpleasant experiences. To do this, you need to avoid the following events before going to bed:

• parents' quarrels;
• punishments, threats;
• computer and outdoor games, TV;
• refusal to read before bed, hug or kiss the child.