How can you tell if a man is cheating? Why is this happening?

Disappointing statistics

If you're worried that your partner is lying to you, you may well be right - lying is much more common than we would like. Sometimes it's not just a white lie or omission, but a serious deception related to your relationship or infidelity.

Unfortunately, there is no scientific way to determine whether your partner is cheating on you. However, you can easily tell when he is cheating. Here are seven ways you can tell if he's hiding something important from you.

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Pathological liar

This is the most dangerous kind of lie. This person often believes his own lies. These men live in a world they have invented for themselves. They may take credit for the achievements of others. Sometimes they get so used to their image that they don’t even falter in their “fairy tales.” They write not only about themselves, but also about other people.

Pathological lying is a terrible diagnosis

The worst reason why men lie is pathological lying. With such a diagnosis, the person himself believes in what is said; he lives in a castle in the air created by a sick imagination. Pathological liars love to take credit for the merits of others, invent life situations in which they have never been, and pretend to be a hero and the owner of titles. Telling incredible stories and inventing facts about his biography, he is so believable that it is difficult to diagnose deception.

There are men who get used to the image so deeply that they don’t even get confused about the facts, telling each new victim the same story. For example, such a man may invent that he once had a large company, and then his best friends or ex-wife set him up, after which he was unable to rise higher.

Sometimes people invent serious illnesses and problems for themselves, but the worst thing is that such liars easily invent things not only about themselves, but also about other people, and most often it’s something bad.

Psychologists call this phenomenon Munchausen syndrome; a man suffering from it will lie about little things, not seeing anything criminal in it. For example, sitting at home and talking on the phone with a friend, he can say that he is visiting or in a cafe. For what? It's just a diagnosis.

Ask your friends

Other people, sometimes even strangers, often have no trouble noticing when something is wrong with someone's relationship. Psychologists use a test in which a couple must create a drawing together. One participant draws blindfolded, and the other helps him with instructions. Everything that happens is recorded on camera. Before the experiment begins, participants are asked to answer several questions about the relationship, including whether they have ever been cheated on.

After this, the researchers gave a tape of the drawing process to strangers, who had to guess which couple had cheated. Surprisingly, the volunteers guessed incredibly accurately. This research suggests that simply looking at partners' interactions may sometimes be enough to sense betrayal or conflict. People make surprisingly accurate judgments about others in a wide variety of situations, even from the briefest observation. At least, this is the conclusion scientists came to. If you begin to have serious doubts about whether everything is okay in your relationship, advice from friends or loved ones can help you.

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Conclusion

Pass any advice from a psychologist through the prism of personal feelings. In nature, there are no 100% similar situations, just as there are no universal answers. A lie does not make a relationship stronger, but in order to completely destroy it, it must be burdened with compelling reasons. It's all about how much you value the man and are interested in continuing the relationship.

If the lie is harmless in scope and limited to the size of the pike caught, it is unproductive and pointless to look for a reason for divorce in it. When it comes to serious lies, constructive dialogue and renegotiation of the relationship is recommended in most cases. Correcting situations with mistrust, excessive criticism and fear of offending will not be difficult. If constant betrayal and indifference are hidden under lies, then even a heart-to-heart conversation will not help to get rid of it.

Sources

https://fazarosta.com/vret-kak-dyshit-pochemu-muzhchiny-vrut-i-budut-vrat/
https://fishki.net/3110453-muzhchiny-vrut-ili-chuty-chuty-nedogovarivajut-prichiny-muzhskoj-lzhi.html
https://intrigue.dating/otnoshenija/pochemu-mujchina-vret-jenschine-i-kto-tomu-vinoy/
https://zen.yandex.ru/media/id/5bed788fcfec6100aea4d641/pochemu-mujchiny-vrut-kak-raspoznat-patologicheskogo-vruna-5bfa6072bbe96600a90caeca
https://zhenskie-uvlecheniya.ru/pochemu-muzhchiny-vrut-prichiny-i-metody-vozdejstviya-na-lguna.html
https://aif.ru/health/psychologic/6_priznakov_muzhskogo_vranya
https://psiho-logika.com/otnosheniya/pochemu-muzhchinyi-vrut-8-samyih-rasprostranennyih-prichin-muzhskoy-lzhu-i-neuteshitelyiy-vyivod-psihologa/
https://flytothesky.ru/pochemu-muzhchina-vret/
https://mamsy.ru/blog/chto-delat-esli-muzh-vret/

Pretend nothing is happening and watch

People often judge other people's behavior quite poorly, especially when they try to do it consciously. If you have the opportunity to observe someone's behavior longer, it will be much easier for you to figure out whether you are being deceived. In 2013, a team of scientists conducted an experiment in which students had to observe people testifying in court and then determine whether those people were telling the truth or a lie.

Students who were given more time to think before making a verdict did a much better job of identifying liars. Human consciousness does not always cope with the separation of truth and lies. It takes time to assess the situation. If something worries or worries you, you should simply give yourself the opportunity to orient yourself - perhaps the strange behavior was a temporary phenomenon associated with stress or other life circumstances. If, over time, you become confident that you are being deceived, you will have a more compelling reason to sort out the relationship.

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Pay careful attention to your choice of words

In a recent study, psychology professor James Pennebaker analyzed data collected by a text evaluation program. It has been discovered that there are certain formulations that signal that the speaker is trying to hide the truth. For example, liars are less likely to use personal pronouns, avoid saying “I think” or “I understand,” and are less likely to use “but” and “except.” In addition, they often use negative words, such as “anger” or “enemy,” as well as verbs that describe movement. Of course, all this is only relevant if the manner of communication has changed in some way - if your partner has always preferred harsh language and has not talked too much about his own feelings, such words may not signal anything.

Listen to the sound of the voice

Canadian researchers recently asked a group of volunteers to listen to several recordings of voices and rate how attractive each one sounded. After this, the scientists were asked to estimate how likely it was that a particular person would be unfaithful to his partner.

Female volunteers most often noted that men with a low-pitched voice were more likely to cheat, while male volunteers, on the contrary, believed that women would cheat more often if they had a high-pitched voice. Men with higher testosterone levels have deeper voices, according to research - and high testosterone levels are associated with the likelihood of cheating. However, scientists could not explain where people get the psychological awareness of this. In the future, they will study this fact, but for now you can simply evaluate your partner’s voice and, based on this, understand whether he is generally inclined to cheat - the timbre will tell you this.

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Pay attention to social networks

If your partner spends more time on their cell phone than with you, it may be suspicious. Research has shown that people who are highly active on social media are more likely to experience infidelity, breakup, or divorce. According to scientists, most people spend no more than an hour on social networks. Those who use social media for longer periods of time are more likely to fight with their partners, cheat on them, or get divorced. The longer the time spent on a social network, the worse the effect on relationships. However, this does not mean that the phone leads to cheating; however, there is still some connection. If you have a problem like this in your relationship, it's time to have a serious conversation with your partner. A seemingly harmless habit of surfing the Internet can destroy your life together in the future, even if no betrayal occurs.

Watch for sudden changes in behavior

If you've been in a relationship for a long enough period of time, most likely you already know how your partner behaves under normal circumstances - what he likes to eat, how he reacts to challenges and surprises, whether he is a good listener, and so on. Sudden changes in body language, facial expressions, speech patterns, and others can be signals of ambivalent behavior, according to scientists who specialize in recognizing deceivers during detective investigations. A person's body shows certain signals if he is nervous and feels stressed - which is what happens when a person lies. Learn to recognize them and it will be much easier for you to navigate what they tell you, because you will notice the truth or lies even without words.

How to recognize a lie?

There are generally accepted signs that indicate a person is a liar. However, it is worth taking into account the individual characteristics of a man, his psyche and usual behavior.

Signs of lying:

Crossed or hidden hands in pockets.
He is fussy about his appearance and collects specks of dust.

He talks, repeats himself, gets confused.
Touches the face, ears, neck.
Facial expressions and gestures do not coincide with the meaning of what is being said.
A funny or, on the contrary, inexplicably depressed mood.
Rapid breathing.
Sweating.

True, the more often a person lies, the less the amygdala of the brain reacts to lies, and external manifestations no longer appear so clearly.

Touches himself

He didn’t pick up the phone all evening and didn’t answer your SMS; he came home long after midnight, when you were already asleep. In the morning, he is foaming at the mouth to prove that he was late at an important meeting, his mobile phone died and there was no charger at hand. Watch his hands carefully: if during his monologue he fiddles with his watch bracelet, lightly squeezes his own elbow, strokes his knee or shoulder, most likely he is hiding something. Such manipulations are called “self-contact” gestures - they are designed to reassure a person who is not sure that they will believe him. Remember how many times you gave a friend a friendly pat on the shoulder when you wanted to help her gather the strength to do something she was afraid of: going into the dentist’s office, dialing the number of the guy you liked, asking for a raise. Your beloved, in the absence of a friend nearby who can instill confidence in him, is forced to help himself: his touch seems to say: “Don’t worry, continue, everything will work out, she won’t suspect anything!”

Biting lips

“Where were you yesterday?” - you ask your lover, who has been on a spree in the night. “You won’t believe it, the old lady was attacked by a pack of stray dogs, they took her bagels, and I fought in an unequal battle with their leader until the morning! Grandma gave me tea and stitched up my wounds!” - your captain Vrungel says with inspiration and at the same time bites his lower lip. Psychologists believe that this gesture indicates a discrepancy between words and deeds. The person himself does not believe what he is saying, and subconsciously tries to keep his mouth shut in order to prevent the truth from breaking out.

Looks into the corner

Fans of the series “Lie to Me” know: if a person, answering a question, looks up in the right corner, he comes up with an answer on the fly; a gaze directed to the left, on the contrary, indicates that the interlocutor remembers how the events actually happened. It would seem that, given such features of facial expressions, you can easily bring a liar to light. However, not all so simple. If your liar has prepared a legend in advance when answering you, he will remember his preparation, which means that even if he is telling a lie, his gaze will still go to the left. You can force him to look the other way by catching him off guard. Ask about something for which the spouse is completely unprepared. For example, you heard a story that yesterday he and his colleagues had dinner at a restaurant. Don't ask about what they ate, this question is predictable. It’s better to find out on which floor in this restaurant the fireplace is located, because you and your friends have heard a lot about this place and want to book a table next week closer to the fire. Now look carefully at his eyes: if he hasn't been to a restaurant and hasn't seen any fireplace, he'll have to come up with something.

Blushes like a young lady

When people lie, their blood pressure usually rises and their pulse quickens, because to one degree or another the liar experiences stress: he must come up with something plausible on the spot. Knowing about this feature of the human body, investigators during interrogations often use a device called a “polygraph” - it takes blood pressure and heart rate readings when the suspect answers questions. Deviation from the norm is a reason to seriously doubt a person’s sincerity. But you probably don’t have a lie detector lying around among your kitchen utensils. Therefore, pay attention to your partner’s breathing - if it becomes faster, this is a sign that the man’s pulse is “jumping.” By the way, the desire to loosen or remove your tie during an “interrogation” also indicates a lack of air.

However, your conversation can take place in an informal setting, and, dressed in sweatpants and a T-shirt, the liar will not be able to give himself away by nervously fiddling with his tie. In this case, this wardrobe detail will be replaced by his skin: when the pressure rises and the blood rushes to the face, a blush appears in the cheekbone area.

Bleats and moos

“Darling, it seems to me that you are not telling me something. Somehow I don't believe you spent your evening writing a report. I called your office, but you didn’t pick up!” After your tirade, the recently verbose and eloquent man begins to strangely draw out his words, hum, ejaculate and use a huge number of interjections: “Mmmm... Well... You know, uh, how can I tell you... Actually... “This is how he stalls for time: while you listen to him bleat, he frantically tries to come up with a convincing explanation. By the way, the same is evidenced by the complication of sentences: if during the conversation the faithful suddenly reduced verbs to a minimum and began to use mainly adjectives, most likely he does not remember what happened yesterday, but feverishly comes up with a “legend”.

Stands like a pillar

“Dear, sit down, tell me what you were doing until two in the morning.” But your husband refuses your invitation. He starts making tea, making circles around the room - in a word, he does everything not to put his butt in the chair. This means that he cannot relax, he is uncomfortable talking about what is happening and he is hiding something. If he sits next to you, the unpleasant conversation may drag on, which means there will be a risk of giving himself away. By the way, if a man steps back during a monologue, you should be wary, because, according to psychologists, a step in the opposite direction from the interlocutor is a sign that the speaker does not believe himself. Keep in mind that if, instead of answering your question, your spouse runs away under any pretext (“The phone seems to be ringing,” “The TV exploded,” etc.), he does not know what to say and needs a break, for which he hopes to write something.

Pay attention to silence, repetition, or negative reactions

There is a clear sign of lying - a sudden refusal to talk. When a person's tongue appears to be lost, it may be because the nervous system automatically responds to stress and the mouth becomes dry. Another sign is a negative reaction even to fairly innocent questions. Finally, people who lie often repeat the question before answering it, most likely to give themselves time to come up with an answer. If you notice any of these signs in your partner, this can be considered sufficient grounds for suspicion. You shouldn’t draw quick conclusions, but you definitely shouldn’t turn a blind eye to what’s happening.

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What about the question “Why do men lie?” says the all-knowing internet?

Most modern women would be interested to know. It seems clear that if a representative of the stronger sex begins to deceive, he has some reasons for this. But sometimes it becomes not entirely clear why this happens when there are no prerequisites at all?

Women cry at men's lies

The book of the same name by four famous family psychologists is designed to examine the problems of gender relations from different sides and angles. Barbara and Alan Pease devoted almost their entire lives to the study of people, their psychology, structure, and thinking. The difference between male and female perception is the basis for the fact that even couples who love each other cannot find a common language for years.

Substantiating their own knowledge about psychological and physiological aspects, citing many scientific facts as evidence, the authors of the unforgettable work explain how to behave in a given situation. Only by realizing your mistakes, by looking from the other side at relationships with the opposite sex, can you radically change the situation not only with your loved one, but also with everyone else around you.

It is worth realizing that personal and family life is very often subject to stress. When the rights of one or the other gender are violated, the roles of men and women in life together begin to become confused. Such factors become causes of conflicts, which in some cases can end sadly. Only by examining the problem from the inside can such a turn of events be avoided.

Lying to women

Women have to observe the fact that men lie to them throughout their lives. Regardless of the degree of intimacy in a relationship, at different periods of time, representatives of the fair sex begin to suffer from deliberately false stories and excuses.

There can be many reasons for this behavior. But even in cases where there are no prerequisites for deception, males will strive to embellish what is happening, get out of a delicate situation, and insure themselves in case of dissatisfaction of their other half.

The most common male lies can be divided into several categories:

Method of self-defense . If a man is satisfied with stability in life, he will try with all his might to deceive close people and maintain his position. Often this method is resorted to by representatives of the stronger sex, hiding the fact of having a mistress from their wife. At the same time, a man can lie to his mistress, who will not even suspect that her chosen one is married.
Embellishing what is happening . Most often, this category is used in the first stages of dating, when you want to make a lasting impression on the girl you like. Only later, not all ladies forgive the absence of a fashionable car, a house, or a villa on the seashore in a guy’s life.
Protection from conflicts . In the case when a lady is ready to throw a tantrum for any reason, causing scandals at every turn, you can safely expect streams of lies from your chosen one. If a man cannot explain certain points, encountering a wall of misunderstanding and negativity, the desire to lie can be called a response to provocations.
Anesthesia method . One can name a large number of situations when a man, sparing the nerves and health of a loved one, deliberately avoids the truth. In this case, a representative of the male half of society will wait until a little time has passed, or a more favorable opportunity presents itself, to tell the truth.
Raising self-esteem . By starting to lie about himself, his virtues and achievements, a man shows how unconfident he is. A striking example of this behavior is the numerous profiles on dating sites, where very few true facts are indicated, and sometimes even the photograph does not correspond to the actual image of the user.

No less popular reasons for lying are the desire to attract more attention to oneself or attempts to avoid stupid, unwanted questions. And it happens that a man lies just like that - because he is used to it or even enjoys such behavior.

Why do men lie and cheat?

All the feelings and hormones of a woman sense a man’s lies. At least, that’s what it may seem like, considering how quickly and accurately a lady can determine that her lover has someone else. And when a man starts to lie, he has to dodge so competently so as not to fall into the traps set by his other half.

According to the results of many sociological surveys, the reason for the large number of betrayals and lies, which is due to these kinds of prerequisites, becomes clear. Being absolutely frank, men explain their position something like this:

I behave like an ordinary male - like many of my colleagues, friends, acquaintances.
This is inherent in our nature; a man cannot be monogamous.
When I don't find what I need at home, I go outside.
My wife stopped taking care of herself while taking care of the children.
In my family, my father cheated on my mother, and this was always considered the norm.
It's just a game based on sex. Is this treason?

One can give many arguments and evidence that female nature sometimes also requires the release of an insatiable beast, sweeping away everything in its path. But “girls are girls”, they are built differently. Therefore, when deceiving his soulmate, a man must be prepared for the fact that the deception will be revealed at any time, and he will lose the most valuable thing in his life.

Men's lies that they love

There is only one answer to this question: to gain access to the desired body and pleasures. This is the opinion of the majority of women who have already managed to get into the nets set by loving womanizers at least once. When a man has no desire to legitimize the relationship, but he wants to be close in every sense, he inevitably has to talk about his feelings. If the lady is financially advantageous, false words of love will lead precisely to the creation of a family. But in this case the interest will be unequal.

And from a completely different perspective, this issue can be considered in the case when a man admits his feelings extremely rarely. But he is in a hurry to go home after work, and not with friends for a beer. His sincere care for his beloved is visible even with the naked eye. And he expresses his feelings with a constant desire to help, support, and provide the most necessary things.

Why lie about love?

Quite often, a representative of the strong half of humanity can talk about his endless, strong love, while not wanting to take on any responsibility. It’s not for nothing that they have said since ancient times that a woman loves with her ears. And a man can love with just different parts of the body, as has already been noted by modern ladies!

Even in the case when a girl has no life experience and believes every word of her chosen one, a man will not consider it something shameful to be able to throw around words and promises. And for such a naive girl, the words “I love you” will almost become a substitute for a notarized marriage contract.

Why do men lie about not being married?

You can often hear about situations where a man promises a girl mountains of gold, but in the end it turns out that he is securely and firmly bound by marriage to another woman. Why do you need to lie about this? The answer is quite simple. Being married, a man begins to be burdened by his marital status; everyday life and having one woman in his life quickly gets boring. And among women, even the most feminist-minded ones, few people want to constantly be in the role of a mistress. Such a chic, but completely unpromising element as someone else’s husband will become a burden, not a joy.

Being perfectly aware of this fact, men can behave absolutely freely, loudly declaring their non-involvement in any bonds or obligations. Divorce is not in the plans of such a male, and everyone will consider the presence of a stylish, well-groomed lady in the rear as proof of his own importance and attractiveness.

Little lies

Finding a variety of reasons, men do not stop lying even when it threatens their relationship with the woman they love. And beautiful ladies, realizing the essence of the problem, never cease to be surprised and throw hysterics. It’s especially offensive when the chosen one lies about little things, for example, in cases where the truth would not change anything.

This is a kind of barrier, a defensive reaction to possible dissatisfaction on the part of the other half. They may lie about their pastimes, hobbies in their free time, desires to have fun with friends or watch explicit movies. The wife will ask why he was late at work, why he was sitting at the computer for so long, and whether he liked the stripper from the video we watched together.

And in response he will hear things completely incompatible with reality. And this nature cannot be changed. All that remains is to understand and accept the world as it is, including the man who has settled in this world and chosen by you.

Why lie about your age?

Sometimes men lie for the most incomprehensible reasons. More precisely, in their absence. Such situations are difficult for even the most experienced psychologists to understand. And there are even categories in which many representatives of the stronger sex are not used to telling the truth on an equal basis with women. Who would have thought, for example, that quite often these strong and brutal males can hide their real age, giving out completely different numbers.

But if ladies tend to reduce their age indicators, then they prefer to talk about more powerful and respectable numbers. There is a stereotype that ladies like men more when they are mature and experienced. And only in the case when the male needs not to scare off a young girl, he will reduce his age by several years.

How can you tell if a man is lying about his feelings?

When a man talks about his love, he can express himself quite eloquently in words, especially if he has relevant experience in his personal life. But if he is lying, his gestures, eyes, and chaotic movements can give him away. He may avoid meeting the eyes of the lady he is deceiving. Your hands should be occupied with something at this time - your phone, your pockets, a notepad, your cuffs.

The attitude towards a woman can also say a lot. Speaking about his ardent feelings, a guy at the same time may not look after his lady, not take care of her, and avoid tactile contacts. This can manifest itself especially clearly at the moment when a man has someone else, and he is unable to spread himself on several fronts at the same time.

How can you tell if a man is lying on the phone?

Some women don't even think about the possibility of being deceived until they come across clear reasons to think differently. And in some cases, ladies deliberately look for gaps in a man’s “testimony” and behavior, having encountered his lies more than once.

In this case, the beloved may tell lies constantly - in person, in correspondence, on the phone. In the latter case, many cannot determine exactly how to identify those moments in which a man does not speak sincerely. He will have an uncertain voice, his intonation may change several times in a short period of time, he will take a long time to find words, and some questions may simply baffle him.

Let's summarize.