In the old days, elderly people were not left alone. For example, for a lonely lady, they always hired a companion to help her cope with everyday affairs (hairstyle, dress, take pills, and simply accompany her on trips). Of course, a companion was no longer hired out of weakness, but so that she would brighten up the loneliness of the elderly lady.
In modern society, loneliness is a trend. Today, young people prefer freedom rather than creating a strong family. Of course, youth passes, and with it strength and health. Instead, comes the fear that nothing has been created that can help avoid lonely old age. And, in turn, loneliness in old age can be very dangerous, since old age brings with it frailty, lack of demand, insecurity and IT illiteracy.
Causes of fear of old age
You should give up worrying in advance. Thinking about illnesses of friends, fear of illness that is common in the family, or attachment to proverbs with a pessimistic message (for example, old age is not a joy) significantly increases the risk of illness. An emotional attitude (anticipation of positive or negative events) causes the body to lose its immune defense under the influence of “complex” emotions, for example, fear, regret, anger, while in a state of joy and hope, resistance to diseases increases significantly and they become refutable.
Whenever health problems arise, mentally or out loud you need to say: “I deserve perfect health and I accept it,” “I have a calm mind, everything is going well,” “I am ready to move forward calmly, in full health.”
You need to create your own positive messages.
When a person gets sick, he needs to think about recovery. If he is already sick and loses faith in recovery, complains every day about his health, illness is his favorite topic of conversation, you need to change the order: start thinking and talking about how he wants to feel, imagine what it will be like when he will be healthy.
The statement “my body is recovering quickly” instead of “it is so difficult to fight the disease” will help you quickly recover from the disease. You need to give up gossiping about illnesses with friends and dream about health.
IT illiteracy
Since today the world is driven by technology, and every year more and more innovations are invented and created, it becomes increasingly difficult for older people to live. After all, without outside help it is very difficult for them to understand many household appliances and appliances. And since almost everything is now in electronic format, this makes obtaining documents and other services for older people without help almost impossible.
How do you think one should spend old age?
Prevention of aging
All visits to the doctor take a long time and are often unpleasant. This can additionally become a source of stress. People are afraid of getting sick because the risk of diseases in the body increases with age. They worry that if they develop a serious illness, it will be difficult or even impossible to cure.
Men dislike tests and doctors more than women - statistics confirm this. They are afraid that they will be considered “weak” and that the tests will be painful. They are simply ashamed to see a doctor. Meanwhile, taking control of your health significantly reduces stress and improves your quality of life.
Men over 40 years of age should have their testicles examined by a urologist once a year (testicular cancer prevention). It is advisable to take a blood test for tumor markers. It is recommended to have your blood pressure checked once a year and your lungs every 2 years. After 40 - cholesterol tests and gastroscopy, and about 50 - ECG and prostate tests (twice a year).
Fear of old age in women
In women, breast examinations (mammography) and cytology once a year are important.
You need to maintain balance. Remember that the body gets sick when a person thinks negatively, cannot express his emotions and cannot rest.
However, communicating only with the body can lead to the other extreme - hypochondria (that is, constant fear of illness and the need to constantly visit the doctor and take medications).
Lack of demand
Another problem for older people is “lack of demand.” It is difficult for them to realize that even with vast experience behind them, they are in little demand and useful due to the fact that their body is no longer young, unlike their spirit.
The modern world is a world of young people, where more often than not, when choosing candidates for vacancies, preference is given to young specialists. Lack of work is a serious problem for older people, both physically and financially. And it is precisely this that makes it worse when there is no moral support from loved ones.
How to prevent aging
The consequences of menopause in women and andopause in men can be successfully overcome. Many older people unnecessarily give up sexual activity, for example, because they stop accepting themselves and succumb to the biological problems of menopause.
We need to talk to each other more often. Friendship, common interests and life hobbies are just as important as professional help. You need to compliment each other about appearance, skills, achievements, virtues. People should take care of themselves: for any age, appearance, a beautiful outfit, hairstyle, and makeup are no less important.
How to mitigate the effects of menopause in women
Have sex. Problems with vaginal lubrication occur due to estrogen deficiency. It is worth consulting with a gynecologist, who will recommend using lubricants sold in pharmacies. Sexual arousal disorders, that is, decreased libido, occur in 7 out of 10 women during menopause.
Sexual need goes away not only for biological reasons. They are affected by broken partnerships, disappointment in marriage, sexual relationships, empty nest syndrome, or stress caused by the end of a job.
Decreased sex drive can be treated with drugs that increase hormonal stimulation or other aphrodisiacs, ginseng root or mandrake. It is advisable to consult a psychologist. One of the most important causes of pain during sexual intercourse during this period is urological disorders and the accompanying painful local inflammation.
A tendency to inflammation of the genitourinary system occurs as a result of unfavorable changes in the vaginal mucosa and weakens the protection of the urinary system from bacterial infections. Treatment is based on taking appropriate medications. Flushing, irritability, increased risk of heart disease and risk of osteoporosis will be eliminated with hormone replacement therapy.
There are several types of hormones available in tablets, gels, vaginal rings, injections, skin patches and pellets that can be inserted under the skin. Menopausal women have high hopes for estrogen-androgen therapy, which still needs more research.
Eating healthy foods will reduce your risk of heart disease, osteoporosis and cancer. This diet is low in fat and high in fruits, vegetables, grains, calcium and vitamin D. It is worth limiting caffeine and alcohol, and quit smoking. Limiting caffeine and alcohol reduces symptoms of anxiety, insomnia, and calcium depletion.
Quitting smoking reduces the risk of early menopause, heart disease and osteoporosis. Exercises such as walking, climbing stairs and resistance exercises such as weight lifting maintain an appropriate weight, which increases bone strength and reduces the risk of osteoporosis.
How to mitigate the effects of andropause in men
The male form of menopause is andropause. This decrease in the male hormone testosterone affects approximately 30% of men aged 50 to 60 years. The mildest symptoms of andopause are problems with potency, decreased ejaculation pressure and sperm volume, and decreased libido. Treatment is testosterone injections.
In addition to deterioration in sexual activity, psychological problems may arise: long-term states of depression, decreased mental performance, irritability, emotional lability, a tendency to conflict, hot flashes, pressure changes.
It is worth taking a course of psychotherapy with your partner, visiting an endocrinologist, andrologist or sexologist.
You need to decide to have morning sex, when the level of male hormones is highest and it is easiest to try to solve the problem.
Proper nutrition, exercise, and avoidance of stimulants, as in women, give excellent results.
Working to increase your self-worth
We need to summarize the strengths. Add those that your friends or partner suggest (it’s worth asking them about this). Many fears arise from complexes and uncertainty.
Positive thinking every day
If for a long time the only thing that comes to mind is a list of your own shortcomings, it’s time to look at the best side of your personality. You need to take a pen and a piece of paper and write down good qualities for at least a week: character, personality, intelligence, skills and talents. Also create a list of successes: not just “big” ones. It is enough to remember those moments when there was a feeling of satisfaction towards yourself. You can hang this list above your bed and read it every day.
Accept physical changes in your body
Loss of physical attractiveness due to aging weakens self-confidence the most in those who have a history of low self-esteem. You can love yourself at any time. You can stand naked in front of the mirror and look at yourself. Take a walk around the house. Try not to judge yourself. A person can do this every day until he stops criticizing himself.
You shouldn’t talk out loud about what you don’t like about yourself. You need to find something interesting in yourself and focus on it. Maybe a beautiful neckline, maybe hands, maybe hair, bright eyes, a smile? It is worth taking care of them, admiring them, touching them.
In this way, tenderness towards yourself will be released. You can write down these benefits on a piece of paper. Read them out loud every morning. Then list those features that cannot be changed, so you need to love them unconditionally, because they will always be there.
A person can look at his clothes. Is it really necessary to hide your entire body under it? You should never buy clothes that are too tight in hopes of losing weight.
You should find time to pamper yourself with bodily pleasures (for example, a relaxing bubble bath or facial and/or body mask at least once a week).
Recommended affirmation: “I am at the perfect age and enjoying every new moment.” People who can talk about their affairs with friends or a partner are better able to maintain high self-esteem.
Mind training
It is not true that mental health worsens with age. This only happens to those who passively submit to fate. Just look at some people in public life. Even 70-80 year old people shine with their intelligence, and this is by no means a matter of “good genes”. Rather a concern for mental activity.
Word and number games, crossword puzzles, books - these are sources of positive mental strength. Thus, a person remains independent longer. It is worth knowing that a person is connected by mind, body, emotions and soul. If he neglects himself in one area, it has a huge impact on the rest of the "mechanism".
Mentally active people are in better physical condition and mentally stronger.
Communication
A man is only as old as he feels. To feel good and not think about time, he needs to turn to people.
You can plan contacts with people for the next week, as well as for many years in advance. Who to meet tomorrow, who to call, who to visit.
Think about finding your soulmate. A person's awareness that he will grow old with someone eliminates the fear of old age. The company of a loved one, a trusted person, with whom it is worth living to the very end, who will find an understanding of his strengths and weaknesses, does not necessarily mean a spouse, but a loved one, family, friend, neighbor.
Fear of lonely old age
If you feel lonely, you can’t stop looking for sources of communication with people: these could be senior citizens’ clubs, online forums, marriage agencies. Friendship and love can be found at any age if you simply let go of limiting thinking patterns.
Think about helping others. Being needed is a great incentive to well-being. The more you give to others, the more you get back. The belief that a person has nothing to offer others and that this is not enough for him only increases fear. Help someone who needs it even more - with a gesture, a gift, a word. If you have a lot of free time, you might consider getting involved with a charity, such as a hospice or social service.
Get rid of depression
This disease affects older people and is often ignored as a symptom of aging. This kind of thinking is wrong. Depression in older people can and should be treated. Factors that contribute to the development of depression include difficult life events, genetic predisposition, but most of all, negative thinking patterns and beliefs that lead to a loss of sense of control over life and a negative interpretation of events around.
Key symptoms of depression are:
- long-term depression
- refusal of social contacts
- slowness of movements
- eating disorders
- sleep problems
- sense of anxiety
- irritability.
You should go to a psychologist and psychiatrist. Treatment achieves the best results when the collaboration of both specialists is combined. A psychiatrist will prescribe suitable antidepressants, a psychologist will teach you to think positively.
When treating depression, it is important to eliminate its causes, and not external symptoms, so you should not limit yourself to taking sleeping pills or sedatives, but rather seek comprehensive help.
Of course, the support of your closest relatives and friends is very important. It is better when the patient is cared for at home, since in some cases his hospitalization can lead to an exacerbation of the symptoms of the disease.
Preventing depression plays a big role.
Mental hygiene, understood as harmonious coexistence with the environment, avoidance of stressful situations, the ability to find oneself in new situations, and not succumb to immediate difficulties, certainly helps to maintain emotional balance.
Forgiving yourself and others
Many people who fear aging carry many emotional wounds from the past or are in a current conflict with someone close to them. They can't enjoy life and blame those who made them feel bad: a spouse who died, a friend who failed, they were insulted, and they no longer trust anyone.
Memories of past events only cause harm. When a person is free from resentment, he is able to make full use of his mind and body.
You can make a list of things that you would like to free your memory from. You can symbolically forgive if the person is already dead, or contact them personally. First, write and say out loud: “The person I want to forgive... I forgive you now for...”. Then imagine that the person says: “Thank you, and I give you freedom.”
A good way to forgive is to imagine that something wonderful is happening to this person, something that he dreamed of, and see a smile on his face. You need to do this exercise at least once a week until the negative feelings completely disappear.
The next step is for a person to forgive himself for everything he blames himself for. You need to say several times: “I forgive myself for...”
Learn to forgive both yourself and others!
Spiritual development
You can meditate or participate in religious gatherings. People who believe in something “greater than themselves” - in God, Providence, the Mind of the Universe - find it easier to endure the shadows of old age.
Continue searching for new goals in life.
A person must ask himself: “What is my purpose in life now? What am I living for?
Belief in any meaning of life called by this name allows you to see the positive aspects of life that is yet to come.
Work is salvation
Writer Leonid Zorin is 87 years old. The author of the classic “Pokrovsky Gate” and “Warsaw Melody”, grandfather and great-grandfather, he lived a long and difficult life, in which there was a lot: the first book, published at the age of nine, and a meeting with Gorky, who wrote an essay about a talented boy, and fame, and censorship persecution, and awards, and a serious illness... “My fate was such that, despite my athletic youth, the peak of illness occurred in the middle of my life, after the defeat of the play “The Guest,” says Leonid Genrikhovich. “It seemed to me that I was coping easily.” I didn’t share my experiences with anyone; I considered it bad manners. This is the pride of youth and the pride of the south... And it ended in terrible consumption. I spent more than five years in hospitals, lying in wards where I watched people departing for another world. Soon it became such a daily occurrence that I helped the orderlies when another disaster occurred. And football helped me a lot; in my youth I played it seriously. I know that sport is not very useful, even harmful in its own way, but it helped me: it gave me my own measure of endurance and vitality. I always worked, even in the hospital. I sat and wrote in consumptive sanatoriums. The doctors on duty were very unhappy: people are dying here, and he sits scribbling. In addition, it was the time of government decrees in which I was scolded, and the sick came to see me, and the doctors chased them away... I believe that work extremely helped me live and extended my years. I don’t know who needs me to write; I should probably calm down by now, but it’s stronger than me. This graphomania has become a part of my life, it has helped and rescued me, I think this need is God’s gift, God’s salvation to me...” Zorin has no recipe for proper old age: “I won’t teach, it’s dangerous: it turns out as if I know how to do it. And this is funny." And he refuses to give advice: there are no general rules, life is diverse, one case is not like the other, just as twins are not alike. But anyway? “We need to use the time that we have to get to know ourselves,” reflects Leonid Zorin. “Maybe this will at least help me not look funny.” You need to take care of yourself. Think about how others perceive you, that a person should not be a burden, that communicating with him should not become a torment. If even a genius has a question: “A vain gift, an accidental gift, life, why were you given to us?” - it’s even more difficult for our brother to answer. Remember, Metropolitan Philaret answered Pushkin: “It is not in vain, it is not by chance that life was given to us from God.” I would like the gift not to be in vain and accidental; so that at the last moment it does not turn out that life was in vain. And if you feel that life has been somewhat favorable to you, you should be grateful. Many great minds tried to formulate “the final conclusion of earthly wisdom,” like Goethe: “Only he is worthy of life and freedom who goes to battle for them every day.” This, of course, is very beautifully said, ringingly, but it’s very trumpet, advanced... And it’s closer to me - “Do what you have to and come what may.”
conclusions
Thoughts about the fear of old age, fear of death, fear of loneliness are very negative and destructive to the psyche at any age. They affect mental, emotional and physical health.
Stress management skills that need to be constantly developed can help cope with the stress and anxiety of approaching old age.
Use relaxation techniques such as calm breathing, massage, hot baths and soft music.
Plan a long and happy life for many years to come!
