Fear of the dark in children: causes and ways to overcome it

Data from parent surveys show that 80% of children aged 3 to 10 years are afraid to enter a dark room. About ten percent of people remain afraid of the dark throughout their lives. It can be very difficult for sensible adults to accept this peculiarity of their offspring - they sincerely believe that they just need to explain to the baby that there is nothing scary in the room, and the child should understand this. However, children are in no hurry to trust logical arguments and become bolder. Why is a child afraid of the dark, what to do to rid him of this fear, what methods are unacceptable - this will be discussed in this article.

Sources

If your child is afraid of the dark, first you need to figure out what triggered the fear. Common causes of fear between the ages of one and eight years include:

• influence of adults;
• imagination;
• negative experience;
• genetics.

According to psychotherapists, newborn children are not afraid of the dark. Over time, the baby gets used to the light and begins to distinguish contours, shapes and objects. As a result, when the light turns off, his consciousness cannot correlate the light room with the dark one; it seems to him that this is a completely different place, unfamiliar to him. Another reason is the fear of dead space, that is, one that cannot be inspected. Thus, the area above a cabinet or other tall piece of furniture is inaccessible to a child’s gaze, so the subconscious mind identifies it as a potential danger.

Adult influence

It is important to understand that any word from an adult is taken by a child at face value. Many parents do not understand why their child became afraid of the dark. Watching any TV shows, films about murders, or news does not contribute to normal sleep. Even if the baby is busy with his own affairs, he still perceives words about incidents by ear, and consciousness, like a sponge, absorbs this information and transforms it into a phobic disorder.

This also includes conflict situations between family members. When a child sees his parents quarreling, he begins to feel unnecessary and sometimes guilty of what is happening. If you do not explain to your baby in time that there is no reason to worry and do not correct your behavior, he may develop a fear of the dark.

Some parents punish their children by locking them in dark rooms. Such actions have a detrimental effect on the child’s psyche and lead to the appearance of pathological fear.

You should not scare children with stories about unreal creatures (evil fairy-tale characters) that come at night. This applies not only to parents, but also to kindergarten teachers. Cartoons that are acceptable for viewing should be carefully selected. Many cartoon characters look fierce, hooligan, and play pranks. More than one parent has encountered a situation where, after watching the cartoon “Masha and the Bear” or “Polly Robocar,” children begin to behave aggressively and become hysterical for no reason. Many cartoons excite the children's psyche. He cannot sleep, because before going to bed, the last thing the baby’s body remembers is rage and resentment. These emotions in the subconscious are transformed into some kind of monster that comes in a dream.

Imagination

From a psychological point of view, children develop a phobia of dark spaces due to their rich imagination. Each kid lives in his own imaginary world, where all objects can come to life. Every rustle in the dark seems frightening, the baby listens and watches all the time, peering into the darkness. Poor sleep provokes mental disorder, children become uncontrollable, capricious, whiny, and often begin to get sick.

Causes depending on age

Overcoming a child’s fear of the dark is not so easy; the causes of phobia will differ for each age category. Psychologists have compiled a classification of provoking factors for different age groups.

1. 3-4 years – the baby enters kindergarten. Explores the world, begins to understand himself in society, meets new people. Adults most often do not try to delve into his problems, do not explain how to avoid conflicts and behave correctly. During this period, most parents transfer the baby to a separate room at home, and he begins to feel abandoned and unnecessary.
2. 5-6 years old – children are afraid of the unknown. In a dark room it is impossible to determine the outlines of objects, and a wild imagination paints various pictures in the subconscious.
3. 7-8 years – entering school, increasing brain load. The child has new responsibilities. Social fears are of great importance (fear of being late for classes, losing parents, facing death). At the age of 7, the fear of a dark room returns or appears for the first time. According to statistics, by the age of 8 it completely passes, if not aggravated by other stressors.
4. 9-10 years old - children begin to watch horror films and communicate on social networks. This age is the most dangerous, because children try to show each other how fearless they are. Criminals often take advantage of this. A striking example of such a game on the characteristics of the child’s psyche is the Blue Whale group, which provokes children to commit suicide.

Genetics

One of the reasons for the appearance of various phobic disorders is genetic predisposition. Scientists have long proven the connection between gene mutation and fears. Many fears are fixed. If a pregnant woman finds herself in an unpleasant situation in the dark (attacked by a robber, falls) and is very frightened, the baby’s nervous system encodes the darkness as a source of danger.

If parents had problems with the perception of mirrors and darkness in childhood, then it is possible that their baby will also be afraid. There is nothing wrong with this, try to overcome fear together, tell us how you dealt with it yourself.

When to sound the alarm

With competent actions of parents and their calm, consistent behavior, children's fears disappear on their own. However, there are situations when turning to a specialist - a psychologist or psychotherapist - is justified and even necessary.

• If a 10 year old child is still very afraid of staying and sleeping in a room without light. Such adult children normally clearly distinguish fiction from reality and stop imagining monsters under the bed. If this does not happen, the child may need professional help.
• A son or daughter regularly wakes up at night in hysterics, screaming loudly, and talking about death.
• Fear causes panic attacks - suffocation, fever, dizziness, nausea and numbness of the limbs.
• Sudden onset of fear of the dark in a large child - a primary school student. Most likely, this indicates a stressful situation at home or at school.
• You should contact a psychologist in the case when you feel and see that you yourself can’t cope, you lose your composure, you think that your offspring’s fear goes beyond all limits, and you don’t find ways to stop being afraid of the dark and resume a calm life.

Fear is considered something negative, unnecessary, inappropriate, which has no place in the life of a happy person, and especially a child. In fact, this is just one of many emotions - it is impossible to completely avoid it, and attempts to aggressively fight it end with its intensification and the emergence of other psychological problems. Recognizing the normality of fear, allowing yourself and your children to be afraid sometimes is the only true tactic that allows you to gain a sense of security, comfort and peace.

Author of the article Alena Kirilenko

Alena is a regular expert on the PupsFull portal. She writes articles about psychology, education and learning and games for children.

Symptoms

Many kids are afraid to fall asleep in the dark. It is important to be able to distinguish between normal fear and phobia. If the baby feels normal when the night light is on, does not throw tantrums when the parents leave his room, and his health is normal, there is no reason to worry, the fear will soon go away on its own, just do not try to cure the child of fear with darkness, forcing him to suppress it.

If you have a phobic disorder, the following symptoms are observed:

• tremor of the chin or fingers;
• fear of being alone in a room;
• fear of walking down the street when it begins to get dark;
• panic at the sight of a dark room, an unknown place;
• tachycardia;
• dyspnea;
• hysterics;
• decreased body resistance to viruses;
• speech disorders, delayed psychomotor development.

Treatment methods

If children are afraid to sleep in the dark, you should not ignore the problem, but you should not focus too much attention on it. The first thing you need to do is talk to your baby and try to find out what he is so afraid of. Try to replace watching cartoons before bed with a good story or a long walk in the fresh air. Do not forget that violent emotions provoke the appearance of difficult dreams. You should not feed your baby right before bed. It's best to do this an hour before.

Taking soothing baths promotes sound sleep. You can add your baby's favorite pleasant-smelling bubble bath, sea salt or soothing aromatic oil (tea tree, lavender, mint) to the bath.

Correction of fear

If a child is afraid of the dark, psychologists advise correcting perception. In fact, any phobia develops due to a perverted, incorrect attitude towards reality. Discoloration of fears helps to understand that there is nothing so scary in the dark. Walk around all the rooms with your child, look in every corner, on the balcony, in the closet, under the beds. In your room, turn on the night light in advance, rather than right before bed. It is not recommended to turn off the lights while a child is sleeping, otherwise, waking up in the dark, the baby may fall into a state of panic.

Play hide and seek. This will help you get to know your apartment better and stop being afraid. Hide toys in different rooms. Give your child the task of finding as many toys as possible, encouraging them to find them in a dark room more than in a light one. You can play together or with a whole group of children: when guests come to you. Hide and seek can be adapted in the following way to a way of getting rid of the fear of the dark. Let's call this game "Hunter". The child will be the beast they are looking for. He needs to hide in a hole so that the hunter cannot reach him. Since the hole is dark, you should build it from a chair covered with a tablecloth or a table. The point of the game is for the animal to sit in the hole for as long as possible while the hunter scurries around the room, and then hide in another place.

Such techniques help to ensure that a child is not afraid of the dark before the age of 5. With older children, it is better to consult a psychologist first.

Poor sleep and fear of the dark

In rare cases, fear of the dark is explained by problems with going to bed. If this is your case, you need to resort to certain rules:

1. Three hours before bedtime, the baby should have exclusively calm games.
2. Take your little one for an evening walk.
3. Taking water treatments and a light massage immediately before bed have a beneficial effect on healthy and complete rest.

1. Read a story to your child before bed. Make it a habit. You can also perform a ritual of putting toys in bed before the little one lies down under the blanket.

1. Make sure that your last meal is light, but at the same time filling. A child may suffer from both overeating and hunger.
2. Make sure your baby sleeps no more than normal during the day. After all, if the baby rests more than expected during the day, this can seriously affect night sleep.

Psychocorrectional work with older children

Children may develop fear of the dark at the ages of 7, 8, 9 and 10 years. There was no such problem before. This symptom is a serious reason to visit a specialist, especially if the child declares: “I’m afraid of mirrors.” And he doesn’t want to approach them. The age of 7 for a child is another turning point when he learns to perceive himself as an adult with his own characteristics, feelings and opinions.

Fear of mirrors is most often triggered by self-doubt, dissatisfaction with one's appearance, or mythical conjectures. A psychologist will help teach a child not to be afraid at this age. Sometimes it is advisable to use medications. Usually, mild sedatives and vitamins are sufficient to reduce brain overload and relieve unpleasant symptoms.

Advice from a psychologist to help a child overcome his fear of the dark:

• find out the reason;
• work on correcting fear with your child;
• reconsider your behavior in the family circle, find out how your child is doing with communication at school;
• increase physical activity by enrolling in additional sections;
• find something you like for your child, in which he can reflect his fears: drawing, modeling, appliqué;
• For schoolchildren, a graphic test is an excellent prevention: in an essay, the child must describe his fear, then you should explain to him what he is afraid of and convey to him that a monster is nothing more than words.

The child is afraid of the dark, advice

1. Don't leave your baby alone with his fears. He can't do it on his own.
2. It is important to determine in time the reason that provoked the fear of the dark.
3. If the child is over seven years old, pay attention to the child’s relationships in the family, at school, and with friends.
4. Increase your child's physical activity.
5. Be an example for your little one. Show how you can overcome your fear of something.
6. Invite your little one to draw what scares him in the dark on a piece of paper. Sometimes this is enough to make the child feel better. Sometimes it will be useful to draw this monster, for example, funny elements of his clothing. The baby will see that he is no longer scary at all, but even funny.
7. Never tell a child that he is inadequate or a coward, do not laugh at the toddler.
8. Sometimes it is necessary to turn on the lamp at night. This will calm the child and allow him to fall asleep peacefully.
9. Do not deprive your baby of your care and love during the day.
10. Explain to your little one that there is nothing scary in the room, that at night everything remains in its place, nothing new appears.