Oddly enough, this is one of the main secrets of strong married couples! Unfortunately, many partners, when they have lived together for a long time, begin to believe that touching and hugging is completely unnecessary. The routine evening kiss becomes almost the only manifestation of tenderness. This is a big mistake, since it is frequent tactile contact that prevents spouses from getting out of the habit of being close to each other.
There is a scientific explanation for this - during tactile contact (especially “skin to skin”) the hormone oxytocin is released, which forms warm relationships and affection. Why not a love potion with your own hands?
Have you noticed how happy a man and a woman look when they walk holding hands or hugging? How touching and sometimes even surprising is it when a very old couple behaves in exactly the same way? Surprise arises precisely because we are not often able to observe such reverent and harmonious relationships in adulthood. And it is these couples who feel the happiest.
Try touching each other more often, hugging each other, stroking each other, kissing each other. Such tactile manifestations of love will help maintain warmth in communication, and when the relationship cools down, they will return it.
Sushkov Faina Borisovna and Arkady Sergeevich
On September 22, 2020, we celebrated our 58th wedding anniversary. When we try to formulate the secrets of our happy life, some secret meaning of love is lost. We have lived our entire lives overcoming difficulties. Together, together. We never asked each other for help and support - it was a given. While I was in graduate school, my precious husband looked after our three children, helped around the house, and supported me in everything. A few years later, he also took up science, and then it was my turn to devote more time to home and children. We always had many friends, and we lived on the principle of mutual assistance and support. Probably, the foundations of these principles were laid in our youth, when my husband and I were fond of tourism and mountaineering - it is impossible to do without trust and mutual assistance in these sports. Even today we try to live an active life: we love to visit theaters, exhibitions, museums, and travel around Russia. Until the spring of this year, we attended dance classes under the Moscow Longevity program, it really helped us stay cheerful and active!
What is family happiness built on?
However, love alone is not enough for family happiness. After all, a house is not only the foundation, right? In addition to love, building family happiness also requires understanding . In a happy family, harmony and agreement always reign between spouses. After all, as Antoine de Saint-Exupery said, lovers are not those who look at each other, but those who look in the same direction.
There are, of course, situations when understanding is very difficult to find. Even the most devoted lovers sometimes see the world differently, one wants one thing, the other wants another. If both insist on their own, sooner or later this problem will develop from a hidden conflict into an open confrontation. Therefore, one of the spouses will have to give in, because another building block of family happiness is self-sacrifice . Who will have to sacrifice - the husband or the wife - is another question. Apparently, it will be decided depending on the situation and the individual characteristics of each person. This, however, does not mean that you can simply forget about the wishes of the other spouse. His opinions, feelings, thoughts and desires must also be taken into account, because another step to family happiness is respect .
The next step on the path to building a happy family is paying attention to your loved one. You should never forget about the little pleasures that can bring joy to your other half. Sometimes a funny love note left near a sleeping wife’s pillow, like a sudden romantic dinner with candles prepared for her husband, can give such happiness that you will not experience even after receiving the most expensive and long-awaited birthday gift.
The load-bearing wall of family happiness is the ability to ask for forgiveness and the ability to forgive . It is common for all people to make mistakes, just as it sometimes seems to everyone that they have been undeservedly offended. For a real family, it is important not so much to avoid quarrels as to avoid their consequences. Therefore, there is no need to delay reconciliation. After all, if this time someone is the first to admit his guilt, even if he is not guilty, then next time someone else will forgive him even for a very serious offense.
A truly happy family is unthinkable without trust . It is easy to doubt a loved one, just as it is easy to destroy a fragile family balance because of this. Therefore, you must learn to trust the one you love as yourself. Trust, in turn, implies sincerity in relationships. Remember the saying: better is the bitter truth than a sweet lie. Of course, there are exceptions to any situation, and no one has yet canceled white lies, but it is very important to remember that sooner or later any deception is revealed - and then a small omission may seem like a real betrayal.
Oddly enough, but among other things, lovers also need a certain amount of freedom . It would seem that this contradicts the very understanding of a family, where everything should be common and unified. But actually it is not. Despite the fact that, upon entering into marriage, a man acquires the status of a husband and, in most cases, a father, and a woman, respectively, a wife and mother, first of all, both spouses still remain individuals. And any individual sometimes needs to devote time to himself, not at the expense of his family, of course. To be happy, it is very important to remember that a family is not a prison, and freedom should not be given here, you simply should not be deprived of it. It is much easier to initially show your spouse that you respect his right to self-determination than to try for many years to change him and eventually come to the conclusion that you simply “didn’t get along.”
Well, what kind of house can there be without a roof? And the roof of family happiness - the one that protects from snow, rain and wind, cold and heat from family adversity - is patience . Sometimes the ability to maintain restraint and self-control, not to give up and not succumb to difficulties, saves even those families that are on the verge of collapse. The main thing is to believe that problems are not eternal and that over time everything will get better. And there will definitely be happiness.
Because your family stands on the strongest foundation that can withstand anything. Remember what this is? That's right, love!
Tags: family values, feelings, relationships, respect, happiness, love, family happiness, happy family
How to find happiness in family life?
All women, putting on a white dress and a wedding ring, are sure that their marriage will be strong, happy and will last a lifetime. But for family ties to be exactly like this, oddly enough, one must take the prejudices associated with family relationships and marriage in general seriously. You should not lose sight of even the smallest moments in your married life. Every loving couple has days when they don’t want to be intimate. There is nothing wrong with this, because we are all exposed to stress almost every day. It also happens that simply watching a movie and then discussing it brings two people closer together than sexual contact. Two loving and happy people can easily do without sex, but this does not mean that their feelings have faded away, it’s just the opposite.
Quite often, husbands tell their wives that their significant other can talk about everything without any problems. But this does not mean that you should tell your spouse about how you dream of having sexual intercourse with a pretty celebrity or dedicate him to the details of a stormy intimate life with your ex-partner. Such a revelation is unlikely to strengthen your relationship and give it trust. Perhaps it will become much easier for you after you tell about your not entirely pure thoughts, and put this burden on your husband, who is not to blame for anything. This is not the best option. Still, to save the marriage, it is better to keep such things to yourself and suffer from remorse because of them alone.
It is unlikely that anyone dreams of a married life in which every day will be exactly the same as the previous one. But, despite this, it is important for a person to understand that pleasant moments will definitely happen again. A man tries to leave work early, because his most beloved and precious wife is waiting for him at home. An analogy can be drawn with TV series. Every day we sit down at the same time in front of the TV to watch a new series. Such habits make our lives varied. In a family in which true happiness reigns, spouses know each other's habits and characteristics, they can predict each other's actions and words and understand each other without words at all. Marriage is a kind of closed institution to which no one else has access. Of course, this refers to the spiritual life of husband and wife.
The presence of traditions and customs is considered obligatory in the family. If you use your imagination and come up with similar events, then your life will not be routine and monotonous. It is important not to let your life get bogged down in everyday life, but in striving for variety, you must remember that everyone should have their own habits that will give you a feeling of comfort.
Life goes in such a way that we meet many beautiful and attractive people every day. Of course, at certain moments, both spouses have certain fantasies in their heads associated with outsiders of the opposite sex. Such phenomena should not be considered something out of the ordinary. Such fantasies will only increase your passion and attraction to your other half.
It is quite normal for you to feel sexually aroused when looking at a handsome person. This once again suggests that your sexual activity is on the rise. And most importantly, it will help you achieve sexual harmony with your loved one. Don’t try to drive away such thoughts from yourself and strive for perfectly pure thoughts. The main thing is that there is trust in your marriage, then it will be happy and strong.
