10 ways to finally let love into your life

Do you know what I'm holding in my hands now? Most likely, the same thing as you - your phone. Just a phone. But what's so special about it?

And the fact that in my hands, or rather on my phone, is the second book by Elizaveta Volkova - a book about how to find love - “POWER IN THOUGHT: making love wishes come true.”

Are you ready for this incredible adventure? I am sure that this book did not fall into your hands by chance. Your time has come. And now everything will change.

What is love

I would like to clarify right away what I mean by love in my article. To do this, I will use a quote from Mikhail Efimovich Litvak (a contemporary Russian psychotherapist). “Love is an active interest in the life and development of the object of love.” That is, it’s not “I can’t live without you,” but “I want to share my life with you and develop together.”

Thus, to attract love, you must be a self-sufficient person - financially independent, spiritually independent and healthy:

health refers to physical and mental well-being;
under financial independence – any regular income;
under spiritual formation – constant self-development and mastery of the basics of the art of love (more on this later).

Complexes and other reasons for failure

Why is there no love in your life? What's stopping you from finding her? This is where you should start. Are you shy and uncommunicative? Unsure of yourself or too scared of a bad experience? Are you afraid to meet people? Or do you meet each other, but the relationship doesn’t work out? You don't love or people don't love you? This is the first set of questions that you must ask yourself and find an answer to each.
Second block - why are you looking for love? Are you running away from something or are you striving for it? That is, you want to share your inner light or suck someone else's. The second approach is obviously a losing one. To attract true love, you only need the first option. Otherwise, you are looking for salvation, and this is a completely different topic.

You need to start by identifying the main stumbling block. Therefore, without knowing you personally, no one can tell you exactly what you need to do. But we can highlight a set of basic principles and recommendations for attracting love into your life.

“The problem of being “unloved” quite often turns into a problem of one’s own unloving,” American psychiatrist Irvin Yalom.

One or another complex is often the main reason for failure in love. We can distinguish purely male, female and general complexes.

Male complexes

Don Juan complex. Based on sporting interest. It may be based on a consumerist and disrespectful attitude towards women, intimate phobia (impossibility of establishing contacts), self-affirmation (pushing one’s price) through victories in the field of love.
Don Quixote complex. The opposite of the first. A man idealizes a woman so much and comes up with a specific unrealistic image that he spends his whole life searching.

Women's complexes

Alice in Wonderland (the same as men have a Don Quixote complex);
Cinderella (waiting for a handsome prince);
closing doors (attempts to jump into any carriage to avoid old age or loneliness).

General complexes

Tristan and Isolde complex, or feelings of eroticism and guilt.
Racial-demographic complex.
Physiological complex (non-acceptance of one’s body against the background of imposed stereotypes and norms).
Inferiority complex.

Variants of manifestation of an inferiority complex:

diffidence;
arrogance, a pronounced sense of superiority, the desire to dominate;
the desire for high positions and material wealth, careerism as a means of achieving superiority over others;
contrasting one’s originality with other people, withdrawing into oneself or a group of equally complex people;
exaggerated demonstration of one’s weakness, flight into illness.

These are just the main complexes; in fact, there are many more of them and they can take any form. For example, the inability to say “I love you”, the inability to make a toast. Psychologists note that every person has complexes. And each individual pays attention only to his own complex. That is, we harm ourselves.

How to get rid of the complex

Getting rid of the complex involves two stages:

accepting your complex (mentioning it, that is, stopping concealment);
exchange (replacing the fear that underlay the complex with something else).

At the heart of any complex is fear. It is ideal to replace fear with the opposite goal and make a plan to achieve it. That is, if you are afraid of making acquaintances, then set, for example, the goal of approaching each person you like with the phrase that first came to mind, and looking at the reaction.

Impressions from reading

The book fell into my hands at the very moment when I needed to make a fateful decision - in which direction I should move further in the sphere of love. Save your old relationships that are not working out and are bursting at the seams, or visualize a new “prince”, enjoying the anticipation of the meeting.

After reading “THE POWER IN THOUGHT: Making love wishes come true,” I made my choice, which I am completely satisfied and happy with today. I am very grateful to Lisa for the fact that in this book she gave answers to all the questions that arose in my head at that difficult time for me.

And I’m not the only one grateful! This is what others write about the new book - girls who were also lucky enough to read it in a timely manner, girls who learned how to find love and how to return love.

Dear girls, read the book!!!! This is such a change in consciousness!!!! Even if everything is fine with you on the love front. Lisa, how smart you are for not waiting for autumn and the paper version, but finding the opportunity to give it to us now.
Lisa, I'm reading a book. I'm just shocked!!!! I now understand everything. Thanks for the book.
Lisa, this is simply amazing! It can be read in one go, with each sentence carrying important information. And the format is just super! It feels like you are not reading a book, but corresponding with you.
Lisa, I’m reading your new book and I want to say that it can help not only with love, but also change your thinking in general. Similarly, this knowledge can be applied to all areas of life. And I really like the format of real stories, where you participate and chew on everything.

The book is written in a very interesting way. It has everything: theory and practical exercises, step-by-step instructions and effective techniques, living characters and dialogues, real people and true stories. You will recognize yourself more than once on these pages!

Tips for attracting love

Set realistic goals. Sometimes people themselves ruin their lives by creating an unrealistic image of the desired partner. Remember that there are no perfect people. Look not only for advantages, but also for disadvantages that you think you can get along with.
Find out what's stopping you. Often new relationships are hindered by old, unsuccessful love. Even if it seems to you that everything is in the past, it is possible that the subconscious continues to give out echoes of fears and grievances, mistrust.
Learn to trust, empathize, communicate.
Do not evaluate someone in absentia (based on stories, rumors or your perceptions). Accept the person for who he is. And don't think that you will change it. Take the finished product.
Get out into the world. Go to places where you can find your ideal. I think there is no need to explain that the method and place of leisure says a lot, if not everything, about a person. Different categories of people go to nightclubs, theaters, museums, exhibitions, active recreation, and concerts. Who do you need?
Reconsider your image (it's not just about appearance). It is possible that you scare people away with an overly defiant appearance and behavior, or, on the contrary, they simply do not notice you.
Expand your circle of acquaintances and interests. You definitely won’t find a new person in your house. There's only you there. Of course, no one canceled the Internet. But then try to go on a real date as quickly as possible. Remember that on the Internet you see a person the way he wants to be seen.
Make an individual plan for self-actualization (courses, trainings, books, leisure).
Develop in yourself the skills, qualities and abilities that are most important for love: care, responsibility, respect, knowledge (as the ability to penetrate into the inner world of other people, to win over oneself, the ability to be open and sometimes forget about your desires).
Have an inner core, don’t let anyone “bend” you, but don’t “bend” you yourself.
Know how to resist manipulation.
Take care of your health, value your life, freedom and individuality.
Study yourself, correct weaknesses and undesirable traits, develop abilities, improve professional skills.
Avoid selfishness. The egoist blindly wallows in his own desires. He doesn't know or love himself. Our goal is to love, adequately evaluate and respect, accept all of our selves.
Live productively, create.
The struggle for leadership in a relationship is a lost game. Relationships should be more like fun games and cooperation. It's important to have fun.
Pay attention to people with similar interests and related (but not the same) professions. For example, a videographer pairs well with a photographer. Such relationships serve as an ideal platform for communication, friendship, love and creating a joint business. That is, there is a chance to attract the most prosperous love, to jointly create something new.
Remember that every person has the right to keep a little inner secret.
Don't look for love based on sex. A common mistake is to think that a night with someone tied you in the knot of love. Sex is the lowest animal need. Of course, without it, a full-fledged relationship is impossible, but for love this alone is not enough.
Change your thinking. Do not think that no one loves you or that you do not love anyone, but think that you have not yet met an equally worthy person, but this will definitely happen soon.
Don’t focus on finding love a la “don’t you want to become my soul mate? No? And maybe then you?” But regularly visualize the relationship you want. Visualization always works.
Before going to bed, at the moment of maximum relaxation, say “I am worthy of love. I am the love. I can give and receive.”
But don't go to extremes. Live in the moment.
Don't be discouraged if your time hasn't come yet. Always exude confidence and inner light. No one will pay attention to the dull shadow, except perhaps out of regret. But we don’t need such a basis for relations.

Love yourself

Self-love (adequate) is the basis of love for others. The same applies to health, income and development. Since we are talking about love in the context of “sharing the whole” and not “finding your complement,” then we can say that you are offering yourself (entirely and completely). But is it really possible to offer your loved one something of poor quality?

Healthy self-love is based on:

adequate self-esteem;
reflection;
pride in real achievements;
feeling like a wonderful interlocutor, friend, employee.

And again there is only one answer - develop. What don't you like about yourself? Correct it! Whatever you can't change, accept it. Until you love yourself.

“The more confidence with which a person is able to accept himself, the more defined his self-image, the more confidently and effectively he will express and offer his love, without experiencing excessive fear of being rejected and humiliated,” wrote the American psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut.

So, dear readers, ask yourself the question: do you know how to love? If yes, then you can set a goal to attract love. If not, then you will have to work on yourself first. Get to know yourself, increase self-confidence, learn to communicate and share emotions and feelings. If you need another person to assert yourself, then it is understandable that they will avoid you. Nobody wants to be the “ugly duckling” of the supporting cast.

Stop searching

Stop looking outside and start looking inside. This is a continuation of the previous point. Stop focusing on the very idea of finding love, switch your attention to self-development and becoming yourself - first of all, as an interesting interlocutor, a meaningful person.

“To love means to become yourself by doing something for others,” K. Whitaker. Are you ready for this?

Communication

Communication skills are the basis of dating. Every interaction begins with communication. But it is important to know not only the general rules of communication and have developed speech, but also to take into account the psychology of gender. Communication, gestures and facial expressions are the first thing a person pays attention to:

firstly, it is a reflection of the entire essence of the personality on the contrary;
secondly, women's and men's psychology of perception is really different.

Remember the situation from the series “Friends” about the kiss? For men, the conversation consisted of several phrases: “Kissed?”, “Kissed”, “Well done.” In a group of women, friends began asking how it was, who initiated it, for how long, and so on. And the heroine answered all the questions with pleasure. This is an ideal demonstration of the peculiarities of communication between men and women.

It is important to understand that the recommendations presented below are general in nature. Many of these facts depend not so much on gender as on personality traits. So, carefully monitor your interlocutor’s reactions and, if necessary, make adjustments according to the situation. For example, regardless of gender, people have different perceptions. I perceive things better visually, although they say that women absorb information better by hearing.

General rules of interaction when meeting for the first time

You always want to interact with a neat person. If the concept of beauty is subjective, then self-care is objective: wash and style your hair, take care of your skin, wash your clothes, brush your teeth, and so on.
“Stroke” your partner (for business and in absentia). Every person likes praise (for work, for attempts, for striving, for thoughts).
Master nonverbal communication and show respect, interest, and empathy with your whole body.
Do not impose yourself and your opinion, but always respect yourself and stick to your own convictions.
You can adapt to your partner from an emotional standpoint, but not in matters of worldview.

Rules of communication and interaction with a man

Men want to see the purpose and result of any interaction. That is why the question “So what do you want?” sounds so often, but women perceive it as rude. Do not take such wording with hostility, but rather honestly immediately voice your goals. Imagine how much time and effort would be saved if people didn't beat around the bush.
Follow the thread of the conversation. Don't jump from one to the other. If you start talking about a hobby, continue until the conversation is completed. If you compare the man’s head with a warehouse, everything there is neatly laid out in labeled boxes. Women can “rummage” through several at once, but men are structured differently. Only after taking material from one drawer and closing it can they move on to another.
Separate communication from any other activity. If you find a partner at work, then make an appointment and talk about everything there. Due to psychological characteristics, men do not like to be spoken to under the arm or in the background of a switched-on TV (in a movie theater). Naturally this will cause irritation. And there it is not far from allegedly rude phrases and new insults.
Men tend to make strong, categorical statements. Don't be offended by unemotionality or wait for a fictional romantic. By the way, romanticism in no way contradicts decisiveness and laconicism.
Don't try to suppress a man during a conversation.
Of course, you can express the opposite opinion. But it is important not to interrupt, but to voice the opposite position after the man has finished speaking.
Support your statement with arguments, and not with meaningless emotions, “wants” and the like. Start by stating your position and then provide your reasons.
Remember that men tend to ask fewer questions, are less emotional, less sociable (they have a lower need), are more inclined to interrupt, and like to make the final decision.
Accordingly, men don’t like meaningless chatter (that’s why you have girlfriends), a lot of questions, or too much communication.
Men tend to challenge opinions and express their position on any issue. I think this skill will be useful for women too. The main thing is to have a constructive and interesting, intelligent discussion based on mutual respect, and not argue with foam at the mouth. Men like it when an interesting and sensible woman is next to them. But at the same time, they always want to be a little smarter (so, ladies, you need to know where to intelligently retreat to win).
The answer “not bad” from a man about a woman’s outfit means “very good.” There is no need to throw a tantrum and break up immediately. Due to psychology, men are not prone to extreme value judgments. Their assessment always has an average, restrained value.
Emotional conversations (especially at night) tire a man.
Men do not like to discuss their failures and difficulties at work. In some situations, they may ignore a woman. This is fine. If you hear the phrase “I’m tired,” “I need to resolve a number of issues,” then you need to give the man this time.
Men do not like persistent calls and excessive initiative from ladies.
When calling a man about some issue, you should immediately indicate the real period of time that it will take. This will make it easier for a man to tune into a conversation. Don’t call for trifles (“I’m bored”, “I’m sad”). It is always better to send one message: “I miss you. Please call when it’s convenient for you to talk”).
Due to psychology and thinking, men do not perceive any disagreement as a quarrel (echoes of business relationships). It is from this that follows that “I was actually offended” and the man’s sincere misunderstanding. Then at least explain what you regarded as a quarrel.
My favorite female one is “Why are you silent.” Men are focused on results and specifics (always!). He is not silent, he analyzes the whole situation as a whole in order to come to one conclusion (decision), and not rant.
The male auditory analyzer is much worse at determining intonation (voice pitch). This continues the theme of grievances.
Men perceive written text better than spoken text.
Men do not understand subtexts and tend to take everything literally. Conclusion: do not throw around words and the phrase “I could have guessed.” Could not!
Men watch the content, not the intonation or form. Therefore, you should not focus on “in what tone did you say this?”
The increased emotionality of a woman turns on the mechanism of irony on the part of a man. Unfortunately, he cannot take you seriously. “Are you still laughing?!” - the angry woman screams. But he really finds it funny. And the other side of the coin is a skeptical perception of what was said. So always speak in a calm tone, especially when discussing important or controversial issues.
No “I told you so,” “I would rather do it myself.” Do it then. Otherwise, remain silent or say something like “oh, thank you, my superman, if only you…, then it would be ideal”, “you’re so handy with me, if only…, then you wouldn’t be worth anything at all.” was".
Subconsciously, men are irritated by a whiny and plaintive tone. Avoid him.
During the conversation, show attention (this is important for a man): nod, assent, slightly lean your body forward, look into the eyes.
Allow time to switch from your mind to your feelings (usually this is closely related to the environment).
Do not act as a mother, do not limit the freedom and independence of a man.
Speak slowly. Try to avoid complex sentences.
Give him personal space and time. Don’t bother with questions like “What are you thinking?”, “What are you doing?” It’s better to sometimes ask the question “Do you want to talk about work/family/friends? (remember to be specific).”
Don't criticize your previous partners or compare your man to them. Two mistakes at once (this is how he perceives it): the same criticism awaits him, he is put in a position of competition, he is chosen as a commodity.

This is roughly what a woman who “can’t stand her brain” looks like. It's really simple. You can become her.

Rules for communicating with a woman

A woman needs twice as much communication. Do not interfere with communication with friends if you yourself cannot satisfy the volume of women’s need for communication.
For women, communicative activity outstrips production activity (for men, it’s the other way around). Do not reproach the lady for wanting to change the conversation.
Don't discount the question "What do you think about this?" as a call to action and decision making. This is just an attempt by the woman to start a conversation and perhaps gather other opinions.
Listen to a woman if she really wants to talk to you about something, share something. Try not to interrupt (this will prevent possible secondary topics, insults, contradictions, and the monologue itself will pass faster).
Women pay attention to the form of the conversation (facial expressions, intonation, gestures), and not to the duration or content. Be nice.
Start a serious conversation with facts (arguments), smoothly leading it to the goal.
Try to show emotions as much as possible, especially positive ones.
Remember that women perceive information better by ear, moreover, seasoned with emotions and a pleasant tone.
Try to be specific with your compliments. For example, not “You look great,” but “This dress suits you very well. You are irresistible in it.”
Women tend to exaggerate, paraphrase, and make associations based on tone of voice. Try to take this into account and not attach importance to eloquent statements.
It is always useful to voice changes you notice in a woman, especially positive ones. But expressing negative changes constructively is also acceptable.
Try to calmly respond to the woman’s comments and jumping from topic to topic.
Remember that often a woman just wants to tell you something. No more. You are not required to solve her problems, just listen.
Always remember in everything: women love details.
Women love tactile contact and eye contact.

Methods taken from magic

Since ancient times, magic has been used to attract love. Priests, shamans, sorcerers have always used magic. And in our time, many still believe and use magic to achieve their goals. There are many options and methods and everyone offers their own. Let's first understand what magic is.

Magic is a person’s appeal to unknown forces to influence events and achieve a certain goal. Have you ever wondered how it works? She works through the power of intention. That is, with the help of your internal intention you act on your external intention. The outer intention, in turn, influences the surrounding events in your life and in the process, the goal is fulfilled.

Have you ever had a case where, having performed some ritual to fulfill a goal, the goal was not fulfilled, but this ritual helped another person? Why didn't it help you? It's all about intention. You didn't have the same mindset for inner intention, and you weren't able to influence outer intentions. How to learn to use magic?

First you need to decide what love is for you, what exactly you want. Create for yourself an image of the person you would like to see next to you. His character traits, his manners. This is a long work, but you must know exactly what kind of person should be next to you, fantasize. When an image of a person is created in your head, you will definitely meet him in life. But do not think that if you love a person, with the so-called coveted love, that you can attract him to yourself by creating an image. With the help of an image, you can create an ideal man for yourself, whom you will meet later, he is not yet in your environment.

In cases where an object of desire appears, girls do not know how to attract him, they turn to fortune tellers to cast a love spell. Think about whether you need this, because when you force love, it does not bring happiness. This person will be nearby, but he will suffer, you will see in his eyes and behavior no sparkling feelings. What will start to irritate you. Just let him go and learn to attract attention to yourself, the person who will truly love you.

Results

German psychoanalyst, sociologist and psychologist Erich Fromm wrote: “The ability to be alone is a condition for the ability to love.” I couldn't agree more. You can't run away from yourself into a relationship. You need to be a self-sufficient person, and then an equally accomplished person will come into your life, with whom you can spend interesting and productive time, and greatly increase your merits and achievements.

When you become as self-sufficient, interesting, and attractive as possible (externally and internally), it will be impossible not to notice you. Then many candidates will appear for your heart.
Your task is to clearly understand who you need in order to increase your skills. Evaluate a person in the present and his potential for the future. Do not consider it rude, but the exchange between partners must be equal, otherwise it is prostitution. So evaluate yourself too. Become the person you want to be around.
Love is the highest human moral feeling and art. It does not come to those who are unworthy of it, that is, they do not know how to love and respect (themselves and others), care, communicate, understand, give, improve themselves and contribute to the development of other people.

Find out right now how to find your love

After I read Elizaveta Volkova’s book “The Power of Thought: How to Make Your Dream Come True in 30 Days,” I was eagerly awaiting the release of the next one. According to the announcements, her second book was to be published by the Eksmo publishing house, just like the first. Only now, due to the pandemic, we will not be able to see it on bookstore shelves until the end of 2020.

I really didn’t want to wait so long, postponing my personal life for later and wasting precious time. After all, I can’t wait to quickly learn the methods of fulfilling love desires, put them into practice, find love and find happiness in relationships now.

And how nice it was to find out that you don’t have to wait for the printed version in order to read the book. It turns out that the book “POWER IN THOUGHT: Making love wishes come true” has already been released in a new and very convenient format - in a chat bot of the Telegram messenger!

You can buy the book in two minutes here >>

Personally, I have already read the book, and some of its chapters more than once.

In this article I want to lift the veil of secrecy and share with you the highlights from this book. I have collected the most interesting lines and quotes that will help you understand how pivotal it can be for you!

For whom was the book “POWER IN THOUGHT: Fulfilling Love Desires” written?

First, let's figure out who needs to read this book and what love desires can be fulfilled with its help?

Most likely, Lisa wrote a book just for you if:

You dream of attracting true love into your life. Do you want to meet the one and only one you love, even if there is no one on the horizon right now? The book will tell you how to find love!
You want a serious relationship with someone who is “in no hurry.” Is your chosen one an avid bachelor? The book will tell you a way to charm him!
You want to hear the cherished “marry me” from your lover. Will be done!
Do you want to know how to get a man's love back after a breakup? Do you want to make him fall in love with you again and improve your relationship? The book will help with this too!
You have been married for a long time, but want to revive a faded feeling. Do you dream of bringing passion back into your relationship? The book will reveal secrets!

In my opinion, the book “POWER IN THOUGHT: Making love wishes come true” is a must-read for everyone who dreams of a happy relationship and love!

So that you can see this for yourself, I invite you on a short journey through the pages of this amazing book!

Literature on the topic

Finally, I recommend you a book with which you can begin your acquaintance and work on building a relationship with yourself, and, accordingly, ways to attract love into your life. We are talking about Glenn Wilson's work “Your Personality. Find out the reasons for your successes and failures." With the help of the work of a famous English psychologist, you can study your temperament, style in love and communication, charisma, needs, imagination, value system, sexual intelligence and much more. The result of a comprehensive diagnosis will be an excellent basis for assessing failure in love and a plan for attracting it.

Tips for guys

Due to the fact that guys approach all issues in life more practically than girls. They also approach love practically. The process of falling in love is different for guys than for girls. While a girl can fall in love at first sight, a guy can never fall in love at first sight. At first glance, he only feels sympathy for the girl if he liked her.

You already have a list of qualities in your head that a girl should have, and you select a girl who should match it. The guy is always the leader in the relationship; he likes to woo the girl. In the process, when his gaze fell on a girl and he liked her, after meeting, and in the process of courtship, you consciously or subconsciously compare her qualities with the qualities from your list. If the courtship process was short, then interest may disappear and it will not even come to falling in love, there will simply be a sexual relationship.

So what to do? Everything is very simple. First of all, remove fears and complexes regarding dating (approaching a girl, getting to know her), if you have them. And then just look around how many cute girls there are. Evaluate, meet, achieve and fall in love! After all, there is still that girl walking around somewhere who completely coincides with your list of qualities.