Management psychology has been actively studied, is being studied, and, obviously, will continue to do so for a very long time. This area of psychology can bring great practical benefits to all people, and especially to leaders of teams of enterprises, organizations and communities. Ignorance of the laws of management psychology does not protect organizational leaders from ineffective work, problems and riots in the work team. And vice versa, if a manager knows the laws of management psychology, he will be able to understand the motivation for specific actions of his subordinates, will have time to prevent possible conflicts and will increase the level of efficiency of each employee. This article will discuss the law of inadequacy of mutual perception.
The essence of the law of inadequacy of mutual perception
The law of inadequacy of mutual perception is useful to understand, if only because its essence lies in a specific characteristic of any human relationship. Knowing this law, not only managers, but also people not associated with management will perceive their environment differently, which will save them from many mistakes.
So, the law of inadequacy of mutual perception tells us that when making a serious decision regarding a person, concluding a deal with him or signing an agreement, we cannot rely on supposedly complete knowledge of this person and his habits, on many years of friendship or marriage. Human perception of the surrounding world, people and objects is designed in such a way that we are unable to see the whole picture. That is, we draw conclusions only from what is visible from our perspective. For a complete understanding, it is first worth considering a simple example.
There is a table in front of us. If we look at it from above, we will not see that the table has four legs, we only see its flat surface. Of course, it is always assumed that the table is on legs, so our perception comes up with this fact for us. We see only what is visible to our eyes from a specific angle.
The table always has legs. If our brain thinks this out for us, then it will be right and we will not suffer any damage. However, things are different with the perception of human essence. We see and know a person only from our own perspective; full knowledge of his essence is excluded. This conclusion is explained by several factors:
- Man is not a stable creature. It is constantly changing: developing or, on the contrary, degrading. Our views, values and priorities do not stand in one place, they change as we grow up and depend on the experiences we have gone through. In the same situation, occurring in different periods of our lives, we can act differently.
- At a subconscious level, a person has a need to defend himself. This extends to relationships with people. No matter how strong and good friendships, family ties or team relationships are, there are facts that people are not ready to share with anyone: secrets, dreams, fetishes, aspirations and goals.
- A priori, we cannot tell another person reliable information about ourselves, because we don’t know ourselves. We may think that we have studied ourselves inside and out, but this is always not the case. If only because we are in a state of constant change.
The law of inadequacy of mutual perception gives us important information about people and relationships with them. We will never know all the information about a person, no matter how much we try to do so. And we especially shouldn’t forget about this when it comes to working relationships. However, in addition to the conclusion about caution in relationships, one more conclusion can be drawn: all the assessments that we give to a person cannot be reliable and final. Because people change throughout their lives, and an assessment given to a person a year ago will probably not be relevant today.
What is self-esteem: definition and its impact on our lives
Self-esteem is an individual’s opinion about the importance and significance of his own personality relative to other people, as well as his assessment of personal qualities - shortcomings and advantages.
Undoubtedly, for the full harmonious functioning of an individual in a social environment, objective self-esteem is necessary.
Without a healthy sense of self and understanding of the value of one’s own personality, a person’s achievement of many life goals - success in society, career growth and advancement, sufficient self-realization, material wealth, harmony in the family, spiritual well-being - becomes completely impossible. (
Practical application of the law
Knowledge of the theoretical aspects of the law of inadequacy of mutual perception provides a great advantage. However, its understanding and practical application in everyday life is equally important.
Taking into account all the nuances contained in this law, the manager will be able to choose the right policy in the field of personnel management. And by adhering to the principles arising from the laws of management psychology, including the law described in this article, the manager will create a highly effective work team, where each employee will do his or her job and show good results. Let's look at these applied principles.
The principle of innate talent is that there is no person in the world without talent or passion. If an employee is unable to perform his job duties efficiently, then it makes sense to offer him other functionality.
The principle of continuous development of skills. Technologies become obsolete, acquired knowledge is forgotten. If the employer is interested in efficient and high-quality production, then, according to this principle, he must provide the employee with opportunities to develop his professional skills.
The principle of inexhaustibility. You should not make premature conclusions about the employee, his professional qualities and skills. Because no assessment, good or bad, can be considered final. A new employee who has shown himself to be good can, after a while, relax and show his true self, and the employee who has stumbled will understand that he made a mistake and will begin to show better results.
The principle of comparison. Before making a final assessment of a particular situation and making a decision, it is necessary to study several points of view regarding this situation. This approach is necessary to conduct an objective analysis, starting from several subjective angles of seeing this situation.
All these principles are aimed at wisely resolving conflict situations and effectively distributing responsibilities, taking into account the talents and potential capabilities of employees and other people around us.
The law of inadequacy of mutual perception can be applied in life by a wide range of people. Using this law, a person can influence the activities and mood of another person, which will bring practical benefits to both parties. Thus, a wise leader, knowing the basic principles of the law, will make his stay at work comfortable for every employee; and a wise mother, taking into account her child’s talents in the field of biology, will not angrily scold him for yet another C in Russian.
Personal determinants
There are a number of so-called personal determinants that determine what kind of coping strategy (way of coping with stress) we choose. Among the features that influence the choice of style and strategy of behavior are:
- Level of self-acceptance
- Self-esteem
- Locus of control
- Degree of anxiety
- Age
- Sex and its social correlate - gender
- As well as social competence, which is determined, among other things, by belonging to a particular social class, experience acquired in the family, school, etc.
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The second concept on this list is self-esteem - in my opinion, one of the key in a series of possible reasons for success or failure (in life and business). The suspicion that she is too underestimated is a common reason for seeking psychological help. Indeed, adequate self-esteem is the basis for a calm and confident attitude towards oneself and, as a result, towards various situations (even if they are difficult and unexpected - a person knows his strengths and weaknesses, knows where to take risks and where to lay down straws) .
How to improve your wife's self-esteem
Spouses most often form self-esteem based on the opinion of their partner. If the wife does not have a high opinion of herself, the husband should give her more attention and care. Perhaps, burdened with household chores, she has long been unable to devote time only to herself and be alone with her thoughts and desires. Perhaps she has not heard compliments from her husband or gratitude for her efforts for a long time. To increase a wife’s self-esteem, it is important for a husband to make changes in his behavior model:
- give your wife sincere compliments;
- delight her with surprises;
- take on some of her responsibilities;
- spend more time alone with her;
- give her time for interests and hobbies.
A wife who feels valued radiates confidence and strength. She knows that she is important and loved, while she is not only a wife and mother, but also a creative independent person who successfully combines various role models.
Self-esteem test - determine your level of attitude towards yourself
Answer the given questions “yes” or “no”, and then count the number of positive and negative answers.
- *Do you often scold yourself for past mistakes?
- *Do you like to gossip with friends, discuss your mutual acquaintances?
- *You don’t have formed goals and clear plans for your future life?
- *Are sports activities foreign to you?
- *Do you often worry and worry about trifles?
- *When you find yourself in a new company, don’t you like to be “the center of attention”?
- *When meeting someone of the opposite sex, do you find it difficult to carry on a conversation?
- *Does other people's criticism upset you?
- *Do you tend to envy the success of others?
- *Are you easily offended by a careless word?
So, if you have: From 1 to 3 affirmative answers, congratulations, you have good , “healthy” self-esteem. More than 3 “yes” answers: your self-esteem is low . Definitely work on this.
Learn to respect and love yourself - this is immensely important!
Raising self-esteem means learning to respect yourself, to love yourself, i.e. accept yourself exactly as you are, with all your inherent shortcomings and vices. It is precisely in order to understand how to gain self-confidence and develop it that we wrote this article, since confidence and self-esteem are closely intertwined.
How to become confident? How to develop confidence?
It has long been a known fact that ideal people simply do not exist. We all have flaws. But a self-confident person differs from a constantly hesitant, indecisive and insecure person in that he notices not only his shortcomings, but also remembers the advantages that every person probably also has. In addition, a confident person is undoubtedly able to present himself favorably in society.
If you don't love yourself, who else will take on such responsibility? How can other people love you? There is an interesting psychological phenomenon - consciously and subconsciously people always strive for contacts and communication with confident people. It is these people who are most often preferred as business partners, friends, and life partners.
If you tend to doubt yourself and reproach yourself for every little thing, you automatically program yourself for further failures, failures and make the decision-making process even more difficult.
Finally learn to notice your strengths, remember your achievements , and don’t be shy to praise yourself once again. Forgive yourself minor failures and troubles, love and respect yourself - and soon you will notice how the attitude of others towards you will change.
Self-esteem and self-confidence are very important characteristics when applying for a job. Therefore, we also recommend reading the article - “How to behave during a job interview”
“Symptoms” of low self-esteem
A person with low self-esteem often exhibits symptoms such as:
- excessive self-criticism, constant dissatisfaction with oneself;
- excessive sensitivity to criticism from other people, strong dependence on the judgments and opinions of others;
- an irresistible desire to please people, to invariably be useful in some way;
- pronounced fear of making mistakes, slowness and a tendency to endless doubts when making a significant decision;
- inexplicable jealousy, irresistible envy of the success of others;
- hidden hostility towards others;
- an attitude of constant defensiveness, the need to constantly explain and justify decisions made and actions taken;
- pessimism, negativism, a tendency to see oneself and everything around in gloomy tones;
A person with low self-esteem often perceives temporary difficulties and minor everyday failures as permanent, and makes corresponding negative and, notably, incorrect conclusions regarding existing potential and future opportunities.
The worse we perceive ourselves, the less we respect ourselves, the more negative the attitude of people around us towards us. And this will inevitably lead to alienation, detachment and isolation, and therefore a tendency to depression and many other psycho-emotional disorders.
