- Tweet
September 11, 2018 — 2 comments
To understand where to find your love, you need to understand what paths your future partner walks. This means you need to understand his spiritual qualities, hobbies, and preferences. Before that, it is very important to first understand yourself in order to know who to look for on that path.
Each of us learns to find happiness in love in different ways. Some people first search on dating sites and start a long virtual conversation to get to know the person before meeting. Some people prefer not to waste their time, but to immediately meet a person in life offline and begin developing a real relationship. Moreover, in both the first and second cases, everyone acts differently. These behavioral characteristics of each of us do not arise out of nowhere.
A clearly structured algorithm for finding love is based on the characteristics of our psyche. This is explained more deeply and clearly by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan.
Is there a second half?
It is completely wrong for some people to think that there is only one suitable person in the world. The story of the only “other half” is simply a myth created by the ancient philosopher Plato.
In fact, there are many people with whom you can build a happy relationship.
Throughout life, almost everyone constantly falls in love, starts families, gets divorced and rushes to look for new love. Every time it seems to them that the other half is already nearby. But everyone makes mistakes that ruin relationships.
As a result, people leave each other. But then a new person appears, even better, more suitable and closer.
Appearance
Imagine the situation: you leave the house with dusty shoes, wrinkled clothes or dirty hair. It is unlikely that people who are attractive and interested in you will like you. After all, then, most likely, a man with the same unclean shoes or in a greasy T-shirt will want to meet you. Remember the law of attraction: like attracts like. This is why it is so important to take care of your appearance and hygiene. Besides:
- Try to dress with taste. Nowadays, you don't have to spend a lot of money to look stylish. In addition, review your wardrobe: there will definitely be a couple of things that will not go out of fashion. The main thing is to be able to correctly combine them with each other.
- Don't forget about accessories. Accessories can complete the look and add zest to it, as well as increase your self-confidence.
- Don't doubt your attractiveness! Well, if you are still not confident in your beauty, then try changing your hairstyle or even your entire image. Many women change their appearance when they want to attract changes into their lives, positive ones, of course.
Where does love begin?
Everyone wants to love and be loved. People spend days, months and years waiting for someone to come and immerse them in the world of love. But can they give something in return? Can they even “give” themselves? It often happens that this is not the case at all. Then even the warmest love will be burned.
Two lonely people looking for each other? But they will never be able to be together due to, perhaps, a difference in character or a simple reluctance to do anything.
Love must begin with oneself, come from within. As the commandment says: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
If a person is filled with love, then he will be able to love the things around him. Therefore, to find your soulmate, you need to love yourself. You must accept yourself, become kinder to yourself, learn to forgive your mistakes and weaknesses.
How to meet your love without being afraid of making mistakes
And again, the reader may have questions: how can I be guaranteed that a pleasant person will be attracted to me, who will be mutually pleasant to me? And not the one who will hurt me again, betray me? How to avoid falling into the clutches of bad experiences?
How can I be sure that this will be my soulmate?
Answer: by studying ourselves and our vectors, we eliminate our past mistakes, improving ourselves both externally and internally. Systemic vector psychology gives us a clear picture of ourselves and the potentially best partner for us.
If you compare a person with a flower, then all people are flowers, each with their own scent. More often he is pleasant and attractive. And this is not the smell of expensive perfume. These are pheromones. If a person develops and improves himself not only with his body, but also with his soul, then his own smell changes. “Bees and butterflies” flock to him, that is, allegorically, our potential partners.
Moreover, for each “flower” its own special “butterfly” flies. By studying this science, we literally blossom from within! We are filled with vitality and beauty. And such a developed and pleasant person is a priori attracted to us. We, like those bees, learn to distinguish all fifty shades of colors in a person from the first glance at him, from the first touch and the first word heard. And this is not magic or wizardry. This is simply a relationship psychology skill built into us forever.
And here you don’t need to believe or not believe. It is important to check and get your own unique result. Register for the free online training using the link.
Author Svetlana Golubova
Proofreader Ekaterina Zhavoronkova
The article was written using materials from Yuri Burlan’s online training “System-vector psychology”
Where else can you find love?
You can meet your person anywhere - at a bus stop, in a store, in a park, at the gym, etc. But to meet someone, you must be open and friendly.
Pay more attention to others, smile. If you like someone, don't be shy to be the first to say so. It is enough to attract his attention with a standard question.
To find love, you must let go of the past - forget about past relationships, solve as many problems as possible (with work, with health, etc.). Only by finding peace and happiness can you become an open and sociable person.
Talk more 4
People who meet can often experience mutual attraction with each other, which over time develops into falling in love. But it’s worth noting that this is far from love. And a suddenly flared up feeling can end as unexpectedly as it began.
This is why it is very important to talk to each other more. This way you can find out the interests, tastes and preferences of your companion. This is very important, since it is from all these bricks that true all-consuming love is formed. When the passion subsides, what remains is mutual understanding, respect and the ability (and sometimes the desire) to spend time together. Is it possible that this can be found out already at the first stage and conversations play an extremely important role in this case.
How to identify your person?
You may feel sympathy for many people, but how do you know that the other half is among these people? At first glance, this question seems insoluble, because no one knows how your relationship with them will develop in the future, what will happen in a few years, in 5, 10 years.
But there are certain signs that will help you determine how close a person is to you:
- Your feelings are mutual, and the relationship develops easily.
- You speak the same language, misunderstandings are rare.
- You have similar views on life, raising children, and home life.
- Your income is similar.
- Your age difference is no more than 5 years.
- He gets along well with your relatives and friends, and you get along well with his loved ones.
- You have a similar daily routine.
It will take time to understand how strong this person's feelings for you are. You need to see him in different situations - in difficulties, at work. It is also important to pay attention to how he treats his friends and parents. Most likely, after a few years of marriage, he will treat you the same way.
How to fill out the form
In order for your welcome message to be answered, you need to fill out a profile. A prerequisite is a photograph , as well as completed “ interests ”. Fill out the questionnaire, and even more so the test, honestly. After all, professional psychologists work on the site and use a test to help you find people similar to your type and interests. They have extensive experience in pairing people up and you must help them with this by answering the test questions as close to the truth as possible. There is also no need to lie in the questionnaire, why deceive the readers, your goal is not to present yourself in the best light, but to show the truth. You don’t want to spend your whole life pretending to be another person. Be yourself and your people will be attracted to you.
How to choose a photo for a dating site
- Of course and unconditionally, it should be YOU . After all, you didn’t come here to troll, but finding new friends and starting friendships with deception is no good.
- The photograph must be successful , that is, you didn’t blink, didn’t grimace, and all that stuff.
- And most importantly, it is better that the photograph immediately speaks about something and reflects your interests . That is, a great option when you are passionate about something, then you can take a photo on a bicycle or in the mountains. Or if you are a party girl and are not going to change your lifestyle, immediately put a photo from the club . If you like to relax in nature , let there be a photo next to a broken tent.
- The last condition is that your face must be clearly visible , not necessarily in close-up, but so that a person can look at you.
Big mistakes
Very often people are late for their train; due to mistakes, they cannot meet and find their person. But it is wrong to believe that your soulmate is not among the residents of your city. Therefore, to find love, it is important to keep some things in mind:
Inconsistency between lifestyle and idea of ideal
For example, you want to meet a calm person and live a peaceful life with him, have three children, but you yourself go to clubs and have absolutely no idea how to run a household.
What are your chances of meeting such a person? They are almost zero. Therefore, in order to find your love, you need to lead an appropriate lifestyle, which, according to your assumptions, is inherent in the ideal candidate. Or you can reconsider the requirements for your future spouse.
Simply put, you should look for love in your environment, among like-minded people.
Influence of media, friends, family
Finding happiness is very difficult if you are influenced by other people. They say on TV that the ideal man is a successful businessman, and the ideal woman is a good-natured housewife.
The family claims that the most important thing in a lover is his personal qualities. Friends claim that the “life of the party” (everyone’s favorite merry fellow) is the best.
But which of these is important to you? In the end, it is not those around you, but you who are building relationships and family, you will have to live with that person. Therefore, to find love, you need to be guided by your desires and dreams.
You need to understand what is really important to you and what is secondary.
Compromise with conscience
Sometimes it can be very difficult to find love just because you don't try to overcome your negative character traits. For example, people are often surprised and upset for no reason when they are abandoned because of their “second” (and sometimes even “third”) “lover.”
Is it possible to build anything on such soil? No, no, of course not. Therefore, to find your love, you must be honest, sincere, frank, and develop the best qualities in yourself.
Subconscious
Another common reason why it is impossible to find love is psychological trauma received in childhood. There are relationship scenarios in the world in which a woman wants to be beaten and insulted. She will specifically look for that man who will treat her poorly.
Another example: a woman from a single-parent family, in which a single mother from childhood instilled in her distrust of men and excessive independence. To find your love, you need to overcome prejudices and strive for happiness, for the life of your dreams. The dreams of your nature, not the words of others.
Don't get hung up on searching2
Even if you are tired of loneliness, and your most important dream is to find your soulmate, you should not be like a search dog and see a potential spouse in every man (woman). Love is such a wonderful feeling that tends to come unexpectedly. And, more often than not, you can meet it without expecting it at all.
If, from the first meetings, you begin to consider your partner as a companion for life, you can not only frighten him away, but also destroy relationships that have not yet begun (even if they could have taken place). Each person is a mature person, therefore, it is quite natural that when they begin to be considered as an object for a trip to the registry office, the reaction may be radically opposite.
Read about a current disorder like codependency in relationships in our article.
Summarize
In conclusion, it is worth noting that there is no perfect algorithm for finding love. Sometimes people just buy a bow and turn around. And here he is, the closest person in the world.
Or another situation: you say hello to your neighbor every day and at some point you notice how attractive he is. Love always comes unexpectedly. All that can be done is to carefully prepare for this meeting.
Keep love in your heart, be open and sincere. And you will definitely find a soul mate!
Free and open to communication
I remember once in my youth I dreamed that people who are free and want to meet each other would hang some kind of sign on themselves, for example, a badge - “Free and open to communication.” And then you could approach and get acquainted without hesitation.
And now that time has come, most people now have access to the Internet . And he gave us the opportunity to easily find friends and meet new people . I personally have several pairs of friends who met on the Internet, started families and are now raising good kids. Some people are strongly against online dating. They say everyone is mired in computers, and human live communication is becoming a thing of the past. I am also an opponent of Internet novels, but who
What are online dating sites for?
Online dating sites should only be used for the purpose of finding a suitable person with similar interests who also wants to meet. And having started a correspondence, you need to transfer the acquaintance offline as quickly as possible, set up a personal meeting , by the way, the easiest way to do this is to be guided by the interests of the person. This could be an invitation to a concert, a bike ride, a movie ticket to see your favorite actor, a cat show, or an invitation to a restaurant with cuisine from a certain country. In general, remember, to successfully start communication, you must be guided by the “ interests ” section. It is on their basis that it is much easier to start a correspondence that will have many chances of continuation.
Don't look for the ideal5
In order not to repeat the mistake of the old man from the parable, you should stop looking for perfection in your chosen one. Each of us has our own specific shortcomings. Under no circumstances should you start to find fault with little things or try to adjust a person “to your own comb.”
We are all not perfect. The only thing that is important is to pay attention to the significant (by your standards) shortcomings of the chosen one. In each individual case, these can be different things - selfishness, lack of punctuality or responsibility, alcohol or smoking abuse, addiction to slot machines or excessive love of extreme sports. If you notice qualities in your partner that you categorically cannot accept (and he, accordingly, will never be able to get rid of them), it is better not to live in vain hopes and end the love relationship in time, before you have had time to get very used to each other.
As for minor flaws in appearance or character, you can simply ignore them. As mentioned earlier, we are all not without flaws and you should not focus on the speck of dust in someone else’s eye without noticing the deck in your own.
