Forgiveness Sunday 2020: when, what kind of holiday, how to ask for forgiveness and how to respond

Forgiveness Sunday on March 1 in 2020 , precedes Lent . On this day, it is customary to ask each other for forgiveness in order to enter with a pure soul the period of strict restrictions before the main Christian holiday - Easter . Read about the features of Forgiveness Sunday in the material of the Federal News Agency .

Why is it so hard to apologize

Apologizing is difficult for almost any person, primarily because it requires admitting one’s guilt, which is not easy for everyone. Some people regard the need to apologize as a humiliation of their own dignity, because they are convinced that they are perfect and everything they do is always right. It is useless to convince them of this: this is a character trait that can hardly be changed.

There is another extreme, when a person annoyingly apologizes for everything, to the point that those around them themselves begin to make comments to him: “Stop apologizing!” This behavior is more typical for people who are insecure or those who do not attach any importance to their words “Sorry” or “Excuse me”.

So what is an apology? This is a direct appeal to another person to receive forgiveness. Apologizing means admitting your mistake and demonstrating the desire and desire to correct it, rather than looking for excuses for your actions. In this case, we are not talking about humiliation or weakness, but rather about fortitude and the ability to admit that one is wrong.

We apologize correctly

How to apologize correctly? To answer this question, it is important to know a few basic rules.

1. You need to ask for forgiveness sincerely, and you yourself need to believe that there is really guilt in the committed action or deed.
2. If you decide that you need to apologize, it is important to fully admit your guilt, and not to imagine to what extent it is, and to what extent it is insufficient or absent.
3. When addressing a person who has been offended, there is no need to make excuses, but rather to explain why such a situation arose, or to explain what exactly you wanted to say or do.
4. The semantic properties of the words “sorry” and “I apologize” are different, despite the common root “wine”. If in the first case an apology is made to someone, then in the second the form “I apologize” sounds like an apology to oneself. Therefore, this option should be excluded; it can be regarded as a mockery of the one who is asking for forgiveness, or perceived as a joke or a frivolous intention.
5. The pronunciation of words addressed to a person who has been offended must be clear; make sure that the speech is not confused or said under your breath.
6. Offer, to confirm the sincerity of your intention to receive forgiveness, some kind of compensation for the inconvenience caused, for example: an invitation to a cafe, cinema or exhibition, or a joint solution to some problem.
7. If you want to be forgiven, try not to allow similar incidents to happen again. Next time you may not receive forgiveness.

How best to apologize to dad: examples of SMS and other options

The relationship with my father is always different, special. Men are less likely to show their feelings. During a quarrel, they can be tough, strict, and categorical. How can you apologize to your dad? At first glance this seems difficult. Many children think that the parent will be rude or scold even more in response.

In fact, reconciliation with your father can be simple and easy. The main thing is to use the right approach. Read on for all the nuances and psychology of dads.

How to choose the right words

First you need to figure out whether you are really guilty before your dad. If you have done nothing and are being accused indiscriminately, then you should explain yourself, but not make excuses.

There is no need to take responsibility for actions that you did not commit just to make peace. For example, if you were given a low grade in math, be upfront about the teacher's bias.

Besides, not everyone is born to become geniuses and dad should understand this.

If you really are at fault, then try to calm down and look at the situation sensibly. Imagine yourself in your father's place. How upset was your behavior and why? How does he feel now? Try to find words that will soften his heart. For example: “Daddy, you are my dearest person, I am so sorry for my action. I'm sorry"

Psychologist's advice

Although fathers are strict, for the most part they are quick-witted. They are not inclined to create scandals and sort everything into pieces. Therefore, in the event of a quarrel or misdeed, you do not have to turn yourself inside out to be forgiven. The following approach will help resolve the conflict easily and simply:

1. If your father is away now, write him a short SMS or email saying you want to apologize.
2. Try to meet and talk face to face as soon as possible. Don't put off solving the problem until later. This will make it even more difficult for you.
3. Admit your guilt, say you are sorry.
4. Suggest a solution to the problem. Ask if you can somehow make amends for your guilt?
5. If your father starts preaching, be patient. Even if you don’t agree with something, it’s better to keep silent about it now.
6. End the conversation on a positive note. Give dad a hug or simply express your joy at the reconciliation.

When talking with your father, try not to bring up controversial issues. It is better to discuss such moments in a favorable, friendly environment. Wait a week or two and then bring up the topic again if necessary. For example, that your father forbids you to go out with friends until late. Offer a compromise. Alternatively, call back every half hour or arrange gatherings at home.

If the conflict is serious

If you have committed a very bad act, for example, theft, then do not hope for quick reconciliation. In this case, the father can be angry for a very long time. Be prepared that you will not only have to apologize, but also suffer a fairly serious punishment. You must go through this with dignity and learn a lesson.

As for apologies, in case of a serious conflict they should be as sincere as possible. Find strength within yourself and admit your guilt. Yes, it will be unpleasant, yes, trust will be undermined, but there is no other way. If you prevaricate and dissemble, this will only delay the conflict for a while. When the lies are exposed, you will be in even worse trouble.

To soften your father's anger, express your willingness to be punished or solve the problem. Listen to everyone's comments and promise to think about it. Your relationship with your father will gradually improve, no doubt about it. The main thing is to show tact and respect, to prove with your actions that you have improved.

If the silence has been going on for a long time

An interrupted connection with a parent has an extremely negative impact on the emotional background of both. Your father may want to forgive you, but he is waiting for the first step. In the end, if you are really guilty, you need to decide to talk. And even in the opposite case, if during a quarrel dad allowed himself to be rude, it is better to let go of the offense and try to talk.

In return you will receive much more, fatherly support and care. Remember that it is never too late. Every day of silence distances you further. Just show that dad means a lot to you. After all, this is really so!

How to apologize over the phone

You can ask for forgiveness in this way if dad is far away. However, a personal meeting is always preferable. But a phone call is better than nothing. First, try sending your dad an SMS with words of love. If you are very worried, you can write about it, adding that when you gather your strength, call to apologize.

Father will surely appreciate your courage and will be more merciful. The only advice is to control your intonation, because your face is not visible on the phone and some words may be perceived incorrectly. Alternatively, you can use Skype. This will help create the feeling of a real meeting.

Beautiful apology

This option is great for daughters. It doesn't take much to melt the ice of a father's heart. Choose one of the following options, or if you prefer, use them all:

1. Write a letter to your father with words of gratitude. Praise him for his positive qualities, say thank you for his care and attention. Tell him how much he means to you. You can insert a beautiful verse into the letter, for example by E. Vesnova “About Dad from Daughter”, T. Nikitina “Father”, T. Bokova “Dad”, I. Pshenichnaya “Song about Dad”. At the end of the letter, write an apology and promise to improve.
2. Make a clip of your photos together. In the background, play a touching song about dad Daiquiri “Dad Let’s Sit Together,” Smile “About Dad,” Olya Rozhdestvenskaya “There’s No Better Friend than Dad” or another. After viewing your work, your father will be moved, and then you can beautifully ask for forgiveness.
3. Cook dad a delicious dinner. Remember what his favorite dish is. If you are not yet an expert at cooking, ask your mom for help.

If you know how to draw well, you can give dad a postcard, if you sing, then perform a song, or embroider, give him a handkerchief with embroidered initials. Use your imagination, remember what makes your father happy and joyful.

If dad is a tyrant

There are situations when the father forces him to apologize with or without reason. This is especially often combined with alcoholism. If tyranny reigns in the house, then you need to talk to your father differently. First of all, you should ask your mother for protection. If she is also unable to contradict the despot, then it is necessary to attract other adults - relatives, neighbors.

As a last resort, you should tell the teacher about the unbearable situation at home or write a statement to the police. Of course, if the attacks are serious, and you don’t just want to annoy the parent.

How to quarrel less with your father

In order to argue less with your dad, you need to reach mutual understanding. Relationships should move to a more trusting level. This usually happens as children grow up. But you can try to do something now:

1. Prove that you can take responsibility. For example, take on some of the household chores and do your work flawlessly.
2. Share your father's hobbies and introduce him to yours. Spending time together is very important. You can offer to go fishing together, ask to learn how to drive a car or do repairs around the house. In the end, you can play a computer game together or shoot at a shooting range.
3. Start opening up. At first you may think that your father will not understand you, but this is not so. Try to have a heart-to-heart talk with him at least once. Share your experiences, problems, observations. Ask his opinion. This will make your father feel important and you will gain his support.

If you manage to establish a close, trusting relationship with your dad, and prove that you are already a responsible person, then there will be much fewer reasons for quarrels. The father will understand that you are able to correct your mistakes on your own, which means that the educational function has been completed.

To apologize to dad, you don’t need to invent anything. Say what you feel. Fathers value brevity and directness over elaborate poems or grand promises.

Don't be afraid to start a conversation, even if dad is outwardly cold and strict. As a last resort, if it is difficult to apologize during a meeting, write a letter or SMS to your phone.

Rest assured, your father misses warm communication no less than you do.

Arina, Rostov

Source: https://PsySovet24.ru/574-kak-izvinitsya-pered-papoj/

Apologies in business etiquette

In everyday work, for example, a manager often has to apologize not only for himself, but also for his colleagues or subordinates. The terms of the contract may be violated, due attention to the client’s request may not be paid, and his rights may be infringed.

In order to maintain good relationships with partners and customers, you must follow some rules.

• Understand the incident and personally communicate with your partners, find out all the nuances of the situation, thereby showing that you are interested in resolving the situation.
• Send a letter to a client or partner. To give additional weight to such a letter, you can write it on corporate letterhead and sign it with the head of the organization.
• Be specific when apologizing.
• The most effective way is not only to apologize, but to change the situation itself, for example, correct a mistake, revise the work rules, offer a discount or change the terms of cooperation.
• Don't break your promises!

When an apology is not needed

If you follow the proverb that states that a bad peace is better than a good quarrel, you need to apologize in any situation. But is this so, or are there still cases when this is not necessary?

Most importantly, before deciding whether to ask for forgiveness or not, it is important to determine whether you agree that you are at fault. Perhaps what you did was done consciously, you wanted to achieve exactly the result you got, and you completely consider yourself right. In this case, apologies are meaningless, since you do not see your guilt, and you do not regard the committed act as a wrongdoing or causing damage.

However, there are situations when you are confident in your innocence, and the people around you convince you that you need to apologize. Moreover, the arguments in this case are very different, ranging from the fact that the person who was offended is a good person, to fears of losing a contact that is beneficial in some way. In this case, consequences become important, which will either deprive you of some advantage in the future, break family ties, or can harm you or your environment. There are, of course, several options: listen to advisers and ask for forgiveness, or defend your position and not succumb to outside pressure. Everything will depend in this case only on you.

Five ways to ruin any apology

Photo: Itz Inferno/Unsplash Many people sincerely want to apologize, but have absolutely no idea how to do it. They say “sorry” and wonder why their interlocutor continues to be offended. Understanding the most common features of a bad apology will lay the foundation for understanding the fundamentals of a successful apology. Of course, an effective apology is not just about choosing the right words and avoiding inappropriate words, but it is important to understand the principle. Let's start with the "basics of a bad apology." We'll discuss five ways to ruin any apology. And then we’ll talk about courageous apologies that can open the way to forgiveness and mental healing even in the most difficult situations.

“But” cancels repentance

Most of all, a wounded person wants to hear a sincere apology from a pure heart. When you add “but”, all sincerity dies on the vine. Let's talk about this slippery little clause. “But” almost always speaks of justifications and even completely cancels the original message. What you say after the “but” may be completely fair, but it doesn’t matter. “But” has already made your apology false. Thus, you are saying: “Given the overall context of the situation, my rudeness (lateness, sarcasm, etc.) is completely understandable.”

Let's take my friend Dolores as an example. She was terribly angry with her little sister, who didn’t lift a finger at the family holiday when everyone else did their bit. At some point, Dolores even gave vent to her anger and attacked her sister in the presence of her family. “You are not an honored guest,” she snapped. “You won’t break if you load the dishwasher!” It is not surprising that her words were not received with enthusiasm. The sister simply turned and left, and they did not communicate again for the rest of the holiday.

Dolores was very upset. A few days later she called her sister to apologize for her intemperance. “I’m sorry I lost my temper,” she said, “but I was very upset that you didn’t contribute to the family holiday. I immediately remembered that as a child, all the housework fell on my shoulders, and your mother always allowed you to do nothing, because she didn’t want to quarrel with you. Sorry for being rude, but someone should have told you this."

Naturally, the sister’s reaction to such an apology was not at all what Dolores expected. “This is not an apology,” I said. It was incredibly difficult for Dolores to sincerely apologize for her rudeness - the burden of past anger and resentment was too great. But I understood that her sister felt insulted again. Dolores' "apology" implied that her sister had behaved like a spoiled child, not only at the family holiday, but throughout her life. And the words “someone should have told you this” became an outright accusation.

Perhaps Sister Dolores would have accepted the apology more calmly if Dolores had simply said that she was sorry for her rudeness and intemperance. A simple apology would not trigger a defense mechanism, but would give the sister the opportunity to reflect on her behavior at the family holiday.

Dolores had the best intentions. “I wanted to explain to my sister why I lost my temper,” she told me. “I wanted her to understand that my reaction to her idleness has a long history.”

Everything is fine, but this is a reason for another conversation, for which you need to choose the right time and show tact. The best apologies are the shortest. There is no need to go into long explanations that can ruin the best intentions.

An apology is not the only way to resolve a problem. An apology is an opportunity to lay the groundwork for future communication. Unfortunately, this important distinction is often forgotten.

“I’m sorry you feel this way.”

Here is another example of a “pseudo-apology.” A true apology is all about your actions, not the other person's reaction.

I'll tell you an example from my own life. I was invited to speak at one organization. Leon (let's call him that) headed the advertising department in this organization. They had an old photograph of me, taken about twenty years ago, so I first sent them a new one, more relevant to reality. “Please use this photo in promotional materials,” I wrote. I wanted people who came to the lecture to see who they expected.

Perhaps it was all an accidental mistake, or perhaps Leon decided that a younger lady would attract more listeners, but he placed the first photo in an online advertisement, and then (even after I pointed out the mistake to him) he used it in printed materials . Our final conversation went something like this.

Me: What happened? You posted a photo on the Internet from twenty years ago. And after I pointed out the error to you, you used it in printed materials.

Leon: I took a photo that was on my computer. I can't go into all the details. I am only human and I am not perfect.

Me: It's not about perfection. I just want you to use a recent photo.

Leon: I'm sorry this photo was so important to you. I don't think listeners care what you look like.

Me: The thing is that I asked you to use the photo that I specifically sent you.

Leon: Okay, okay, sorry. I'm sorry you felt this way about the situation. I didn't know it was so important to you.

Leon apologized insincerely. He tried to shift the blame onto me, believing that it was not his inability to fulfill our agreement that was to blame, but my pickiness and vanity. If he were my client, I would focus on the interesting ways in which he distorts reality to deflect responsibility for a simple mistake. But since I was not his therapist, the combination of disrespect, incompetence and defensiveness infuriated me. I would prefer that Leon didn’t apologize at all, because he didn’t care about me at all, he didn’t regret anything, didn’t correct the mistakes he made, and even accused me of making mountains out of molehills. Or maybe he knew very well that he had made a mistake, but did not want to answer for it. Be that as it may, such a fake apology with an attempt to shift the blame onto someone else's shoulders is much worse than no apology at all. With his words, Leon once again emphasized his indifference and offended me even more.

You may not be like Leon, but this type of avoidance of responsibility is very common. We begin to apologize for the feelings of the offended person, and not for our own actions that offended him. “I’m sorry you were embarrassed when I corrected you at the party” is not an apology. The speaker does not accept responsibility. He considers himself right - and morally too (after all, he apologized). But in reality, he only shifted responsibility onto the offended person. What he actually said was, “I’m sorry you overreacted to my perfectly reasonable and fair remarks.” In such a situation, you should say: “Sorry that I corrected you at the party. I understand my mistake and will not repeat it in the future.”

Watch for the appearance of "if"

The little word “if” also makes a person doubt his own reaction. Try not to say, “I'm sorry if I was insensitive” or “I'm sorry if my words seemed offensive to you.” Almost every apology that begins with “I'm sorry if…” is not an apology. It would be much better to say this: “My remark was offensive. Sorry. “I was insensitive and I want to say that this will not happen again.”

Additionally, saying “sorry if...” is often perceived as condescending. My client Charles made an insensitive joke about “woman brain” in a meeting. After the meeting, he told his boss, “I’m sorry if my remark seemed offensive to you.” The boss reacted quite sharply: “Believe me, Charles, I’m not so easily offended.” The anger in her voice surprised my client. He didn't realize that he had just called his boss an "overly sensitive woman" and not apologized for the inappropriate and tactless joke.

Don't think of me as a speech policeman, but I encourage you to pay attention to the little things that can turn a "sorry" into a "I have nothing to apologize for."

From a sick head to a healthy one

A father and teenage son approached me. This man had a short temper and often sharply criticized his son for minor mistakes - for example, if he could not close the complex lock on the garage door. Noticing his son’s offense, the father apologized something like this: “I’m sorry that my words upset you so much.” This was his standard apology.

“I hate it when he says that,” the boy admitted to me. “I’m starting to get angry, I don’t understand why.” The son felt something was wrong, but could not identify the discouraging nature of the apology, which completely obscured what the father was apologizing for and who was responsible for the problem. The boy simply felt discomfort from such apologies from his father.

This behavior of the father is not at all connected with a defense mechanism or a desire to relieve himself of guilt. His words reflect the confused thinking that characterizes anxious families. The higher the general anxiety, the more people feel responsible for the behavior and feelings of other people (“Apologize to your father: he had a headache because of you”), rather than for their own (“Apologize to your father for not turning off the music, because you knew he had a headache").

Book cover Publisher: Peter

“Look what he did because of you!”

Here is another discouraging apology that I will remember for the rest of my life, even though the story happened several decades ago.

When my oldest son, Matt, was six years old, he was playing with his classmate Sean. At some point, Matt snatched the toy from Sean and categorically refused to give it back. Sean started banging his head on the wooden floor - and didn't stop.

Sean's mother was nearby. She instantly reacted to what was happening, and quite actively. She didn't tell her son to stop banging his head on the floor or tell Matt to return the toy. Instead, she severely reprimanded my boy. “See what you did, Matt? She said, pointing at Sean. - Look what you've done! You made Shawn bang his head on the floor. Apologize to him immediately!”

Matt was confused, and I understood him perfectly. They asked him to apologize not for taking someone else's toy. He should have apologized for Sean hitting his head on the floor. Matt needed to take responsibility not for his own behavior, but for the other child's reaction. Matt returned the toy and left without apologizing. Then I told Matt that he should have apologized for taking the toy, but it wasn't his fault that Sean hit his head on the floor.

If Matt took responsibility for Sean's behavior, he would be doing the wrong thing. He would have to answer for what he did not do and could not do. It would not have been good for Sean either - he would never have learned to take responsibility for his own behavior and cope with his anger.

“Forgive me immediately!”

Another way to ruin an apology is to take your words as an automatic certificate of forgiveness and atonement. Here we are talking only about you and your need to calm your own conscience. An apology should not be perceived as a bribe in exchange for which you should receive something from the offended person, namely his forgiveness.

The words “do you forgive me?” or “Please forgive me!” have long become a significant ritual in close relationships. It's completely normal to apologize if you're in a relationship where the offended person will appreciate your behavior. But if you have committed some kind of wrong and expect immediate forgiveness or even demand it, your apology may end in failure. Let me give you an example.

Don allowed his fourteen-year-old daughter to ride a motorcycle with a friend. His wife Sylvia did not want their daughter to ride a motorcycle at all, and Don had long promised to respect her wishes. Breaking his promise, he asked his daughter to keep it a secret from her mother "because we both know she'll freak out."

When her daughter spilled the beans a few days later, Sylvia was furious. Don repented of his mistake - he allowed his daughter to ride a motorcycle, and even ordered her to keep it a secret. He apologized to Sylvia and vowed that it would never happen again. And then he tried to get Sylvia to forgive him.

“I don’t forgive you!” - said Sylvia. Don continued to press her. But he could have acted differently. It was enough to say: “I know that I committed a serious offense, and you can be angry with me for a long time. If I can somehow improve the situation, please tell me about it.”

Don's insistence angered Sylvia, and she had no emotional space left to sincerely forgive her husband—to truly forgive, not because he had backed her into a corner. The situation became even worse when Don became angry that his wife did not forgive him. Sylvia felt that Don was shifting the blame onto her shoulders and considering himself a victim. And she reluctantly forgave him.

Remember that an apology immediately followed by a request for forgiveness unduly shortens the necessary emotional process. The offended person, caught off guard and feeling grateful or relieved by the apology, may “forgive” in a hurry without dealing with his own anger and pain.

When we apologize sincerely, it is natural to expect that our apology will lead to forgiveness and reconciliation. But demanding forgiveness spoils the apology. An offended person feels pressure - and even becomes even more offended. Accepting an apology takes time and space.

Intrusive apology

There's nothing good about apologizing to someone who just doesn't want to talk to you.

Lisa slept with her friend Selina's husband. Selina made it clear to Lisa that she did not want to communicate with her anymore. She crossed out her friend from her life, and she and her husband began to save the marriage after the betrayal was discovered.

A few years later, when Lisa was struggling with alcoholism with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, a sponsor suggested that she examine her actions to see if she had offended anyone in the past. He advised her to call people and apologize directly. Lisa found out Selina's cell phone number from a mutual friend and left her a voice message. She said that the affair with Selina's husband was the worst mistake of her life, and suggested that Selina meet for coffee so she could apologize and tell her side of the story.

Hearing Lisa's voice, Selina relived her old pain. Lisa's call stirred up old feelings that she had suppressed with such difficulty. Lisa called again, this time adding, “I think if you hear my side of the story, you can forgive me.”

Selina wisely decided not to respond, so Lisa wrote her a letter. The unopened letter went into the trash bin. Lisa's desire to invade Selina's life again seemed like a new insult to her.

Lisa did need to forgive herself, but that process shouldn't have included talking to Selina. The purpose of an apology is to reassure the offended person, and not to pursue him out of a selfish desire to explain himself, gain forgiveness and get rid of guilt.

How to accept an apology

Why do you even need to think about how exactly you need to forgive? There is nothing easier than telling a person that his apology is accepted! In fact, asking for forgiveness and forgiving can be equally difficult.

How to properly respond to an apology

Let us formulate the basic rules for responding to an apology.

1. Be sincere. If you think that a person does not deserve your forgiveness, then you should not prevaricate. In further communication, there will still be no previous contact, and sooner or later you will express your grievance. If you are not ready to forgive right now, put off the conversation, citing being busy or the fact that you are not ready to discuss it yet.
2. Listen carefully to the person, do not interrupt, give him the opportunity to explain.
3. After listening, you can express what you felt after an unpleasant situation or conversation.
4. No matter how much you want to end a tense relationship, you should not immediately happily give forgiveness. Be somewhat restrained, you have the right to do so. The offender must remember this situation so as not to repeat it in the future.
5. You can draw the line by saying that you accepted the apology. Men can shake hands.
6. Having forgiven, try not to remember what has already passed. There is no need to force a person to experience the same situation again.

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC. Trudy Griffin is a licensed psychotherapist in Wisconsin. She received her master's degree in clinical psychotherapy from Marquette University in 2011.

Number of sources used in this article: 7. You will find a list of them at the bottom of the page.

Sometimes it's not easy to accept an apology from someone who said or did something bad to you. You may doubt the sincerity of the apology, or you may need time to think and evaluate his words. If you decide to accept a person's apology, you will need to speak or act. If the apology seems sincere and sincere to you, then try to accept it and then forgive the person for his wrongdoing.

How to ask for forgiveness from loved ones correctly

Surely there have been situations in every person’s life when he realized that he had done or said something wrong and thereby offended or let down another. No one is immune from mistakes, because ideal people simply do not exist. In such cases, the main thing is to realize that you were wrong and ask for forgiveness. This is the best way to restore broken relationships.

We apologize to our friend

Conflicts and quarrels occur not only in family and personal relationships, they also happen between colleagues, relatives and, of course, friends. Many girls have wondered how to ask forgiveness from a friend. In practice, apologizing is very difficult.

Some find it difficult to do this because of feelings of pride, others are simply afraid of not being forgiven. Be that as it may, very often the only way to improve relationships is by apologizing. But how do you apologize to your friend so that she can forgive? The key to most successful negotiations lies in careful preparation. This also applies to expressing regret.

If you want to be heard, you should think about how to do this in advance. Think about the friend you want to address, choose words that she understands. An apology usually involves admitting that you were wrong. It would also be a good idea to mention that you understand why she feels insulted and that you are very sorry for causing her distress.

The request for forgiveness must be formulated clearly so that it is clear where your conversation is directed. For an apology to be effective, you need to focus on the feelings of the offended friend, and not on your own.

The girl should feel that she is the center of attention and that you are trying to do everything to make her feel better. Therefore, after a short statement of your regrets and sorrows, you should switch to understanding the offense and sympathy for the one to whom you are apologizing.

We apologize to a friend

How to apologize to a friend? In principle, the scenario outlined above will do. It is suitable for various situations. But remember, first of all, your request for forgiveness must be sincere, and not false or formal, since your friend may treat it with distrust. You must understand what exactly you did wrong that offended the offended person.

When apologizing, you should take full responsibility for your own behavior. There is no need to make excuses, much less shift the blame for what happened onto someone else; this indicates that you want to reduce the degree of guilt. Of course, you can point out the circumstances that prompted you to commit a particular act, but you cannot explain your behavior only by them.

In how to ask for forgiveness from a person and how successful this undertaking will be, the right place and time are also of great importance. The place where you will apologize may be different, the main thing is that the conversation takes place without witnesses. If you did not apologize immediately after what you did, you should choose the right moment for this conversation.

According to many psychologists, about a day should pass from the moment of a quarrel to the attempt to ask for forgiveness, a maximum of as much as those who have quarreled are able to endure, for example, three days.

In the subsequent period, the offended person’s level of trust in the offender begins to fall, the number of hopes associated with the offender decreases, and he becomes almost indifferent to whether the friendship will continue. In such situations, you will have to try very hard not only to apologize, but also to restore lost trust.

We apologize to our parents

Quarrels can arise even between very close people. The main thing is not to accumulate grievances, talk and resolve conflicts in a timely manner and apologize. All of the above recommendations will also help in how to ask for forgiveness from mom or dad.

Be sincere with your parents, don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings and thoughts, they will definitely understand you, because they are the closest people to you.

If you don’t know what words to use to apologize, you can use the following simple but very effective phrases:

• Please forgive me - such a phrase means a sincere desire to receive forgiveness from the offended person;
• I was (or was) wrong - this expression speaks of a willingness to be responsible for one’s own actions;
• I'm sorry or I'm sorry are ways to express your regret;
• What can I do to correct the situation - this phrase expresses a desire to compensate for the damage;
• I will do everything not to repeat this in the future - such an expression speaks of sincere repentance.

To avoid having to think about how to apologize to mom or dad later, try not to offend your family. Always remember that these people gave you life and helped you get on your feet.

Source: https://pipla.ru/6401-kak-poprosit-proshcheniya-u-blizkih-lyudej-pravilno/