Rules of communication: how to answer the question how are you with humor and not offend anyone

We have three traditional answers to the question “How are you?” If everything is good, then “Okay!” If everything is not very good, then - “Okay.” If everything is frankly bad, then “Okay...”.

And we offer 95 more options for how you can answer this question. The training “Creativity and Wit in Speech” by Dmitry Ustinov helped us with this. So, how are you doing?

1 The best! 2 By quiet sadness 3 Everything is ok! 4 Normal. 5 Thank you - everything is fine - and you? - very nice, goodbye 6 Nothing 7 Whatever... 8 Eh, what are we doing? We have business, but the prosecutor has BUSINESS 9 Yes, I’m still alive, and it seems I’m not going to die 10 The pension is good. promoted. 11 The salary is good. Small but good. 12 Because 13 Because what? 14 Just like that 15 What, just like that? 16 All in a bun 17 Like in “Brother 2” 18 Excellent! I wish the same for you 19 What about you? 20 Everything is fine, but it will be even better! 21 Best of all. It's good that no one is jealous. 22 Great, can't wait. 23 Good - you won’t believe it, bad - you won’t help 24 Kiss me first! 25 Yesterday I broke two ribs... 26 As white as soot 27 Like in a fairy tale 28 As always, that is, good 29 As always, that is, bad 30 From the point of view of banal erudition, I ignore the criteria of utopian subjectivism, conceptually interpreting the generally accepted de-fanizing polarizers, therefore the consensus achieved by the dialectical material classification of universal motivations in paradogmatic connections of predicates, solves the problem of improving the formative geotransplantation quasi-puzlistats of all kinetically correlating aspects, and so it is normal. 31 Khorovo 32 Regularly! 33 How are you? 34 Like you. 35 How are you?! 36 Like in Poland: whoever has the cart is the master 37 What, exactly, are the affairs? 38 As always 39 As you can see 40 Still alive. 41 Okay 42 Didn’t die and didn’t get married 43 How are things really going? 44 Is this true? 45 What is it? 46 There is no business 47 What business? I'm not busy today! 48 Oh, poor, unfortunate me, I’m so tired, every day I have to come up with an answer to the question “How are you?” 49 Old lady Agatha Christie once said a wonderful phrase: “You don’t have to say something if you have nothing to say.” 50 There are two ways to put a person at a dead end: ask him “How are you” and ask him to tell you something 51 I don’t know 52 I find it difficult to answer 53 Ambivalent 54 Sluggishly 55 Things are going on, the office is writing 56 Aren’t you in a hurry? 57 Do you want to talk about it? 58 A day by carriage, two on foot! 59 Like a parrot, whose cat pulls its paw across the floor, and he joyfully shouts “Let's go!” 60 Like a zebra 61 Like a taxi. The further you go, the more expensive it is. 62 Like a kolobok - the left and right are the same. 63 Like a sausage in dough, fun and angry 64 Compared to Bublikov, not bad 65 Just like Michael Jackson 15 years ago. 66 Better than yesterday, but worse than tomorrow... 67 What's going on with such things! 68 Cases??? There are none, I’m not businesslike... 69 Just like five minutes ago... 70 Do you want it all at once or in parts? 71 I am a slacker by nature. 72 So much has not been done, so much has not been done! And how much remains to be done! 73 There’s a lot to do 74 Mind-blowing 75 You can answer women like this, squinting your eyes coquettishly - “What?” 76 Okay! And you have? 77 Regularly! 78 Tolerable. 79 Absolutely. 80 Children are starving in Angola, but everything is fine 81 Everything is covered in chocolate, even the keyboard! 82 I’m growing, I’m blooming, I’m getting old... Everything is as usual 83 Yes, you bring me to ecstasy with your questions... Ask me what I do and I’m yours forever... 84 You are incomparably original in your questions 85 Yes, it’s okay, yesterday I received the Nobel Prize for my contribution to development of eco-structural units in the field of cetacean ciliates of shoes and slippers and for the discovery of nano-technologies that will help penguins overcome the ice age in the African forests and Hawaiian deserts in the state of Massachusetts Chussets, Washington County. 86Like Scrooge McDuck 87 Life is hard without Novo-Passit... 88 I also don’t care how you are doing, but since we haven’t seen each other for a long time, out of decency I need to ask something. 89 With your prayers 90 My affairs are excellent! I look forward to hearing more about my personal life! 91 Ask another question please 92 Envy silently 93 Hasn’t bitten anyone yet 94 Average for the area 95 Relatively. If you compare it with Lenin, then it’s good, if you compare it with a millionaire, then not so much.

After a simple one-word greeting, asking about the current state of affairs is a common practice in most conversations on social networks and random encounters in a public place with people you know. How to answer it, what does the interlocutor want to hear, and is there any point in thinking about responses?

How to answer formal questions correctly?

It is impossible to give a single and universal answer for all situations and people, so each time you have to navigate the situation and determine for what purpose such a question was asked. On social networks, formal phrases can often be heard from an old acquaintance with whom communication is poorly maintained, or a completely unknown person who has decided to start communicating with you.

Moreover, 75% of dialogues with a stranger begin with a greeting and a question about life, and only 25% construct their starting phrases in a more original way. Are these people really interested in the current state of affairs, or did they not come up with any other ideas, but just wanted to get to know each other? It’s not easy to decide, and even more so to decide how to answer correctly.

During a live conversation, all the tips that apply to electronic communication also apply. But here it should be remembered that the interlocutor can see the emotions reflected on the face. Therefore, when convincing someone that life is beautiful and wonderful, and things are steadily going up, one should at the moment sincerely believe in these words, so as not to demonstrate possible falsehood.

There is an important advantage in such dialogues online: at any time you can simply leave the conversation, citing business, work, etc. important factors that do not allow you to continue talking with a person you dislike. With someone who is interesting as an interlocutor, communication often develops independently. If this does not happen, and you don’t want to move to the stage of silence, you should make sure that your responses contain words and phrases that you can cling to in order to develop the topic. These may be response questions, but no longer formal, but personality-oriented, or mentions of common interests, if they are known.

How to deal with the person who set you up

Suppose you know who tried to “harass” you. You will have to continue to work side by side with this person, and you do not know which behavior strategy to choose.

How to respond if you were framed at work? The tactics are very simple:

do not start quarrels, perhaps the enemy is just waiting for this;
the desire for revenge is quite natural, but there is no need to repeat the base actions of an ill-wisher, otherwise you yourself will end up to blame;
ignore your colleague, exclude any possibility of communication with him;
mind your own business, even if your work responsibilities overlap;
Clearly delineate areas of activity so that everyone does their job, the rest is not your concern.

ADVICE! Protect yourself for the future - do not share your career plans or stories from your personal life with colleagues. When we are silent, there are no envious people who will try to appropriate someone else's idea.

How to answer the question “How are you?” from a stranger?

If you don’t want to continue a conversation with a stranger, it’s enough to get rid of it with a general, meaningless phrase. Judging by her emotional coloring, it will become clear that further dialogue will not work out. “Fine”, “Everything is fine”, etc., answers that do not allow you to plunge into details, will allow you to end the conversation without negativity. You can also confuse your interlocutor by making the answer any overly abstruse and overloaded sentence taken from scientific literature.

If the stranger is unpleasant, it is permissible to use harsher phrases: “why are you interested?”, “would you like to discuss this?”, “none of your business,” etc. The degree of negative emotion in them varies depending on the other person's personality, but it is not advisable to overdo it. Politeness has not been abolished even on the Internet, so “I don’t intend to discuss this with strangers” is much more tactful than “leave me alone.” And, of course, simple silence, which is resorted to as a last resort, is not discounted.
Do you want to continue the conversation because the stranger managed to interest you? Then it’s better to forget about “good” and “wonderful”: it’s difficult to catch hold of them with the next question, and in the end it risks becoming “what are you doing?” Again, the answer will take some work. The best version would be any short phrase that requires continuation of the conversation. Those. it can loosely touch on any topic of interest - from hobbies to the weather. The most banal thing: “wonderful, only the rain prevented the walk” and similar answers. In the case when the interlocutor is also interested in communication, further dialogue will not begin on impersonal questions.

We are looking for an answer to the question “how is life?” from a friend

If a question about life comes from an old acquaintance with whom there is almost no communication, but sometimes short, seemingly formal dialogues occur, the variety of answers increases. Don’t want to share the details of your own life? You can answer in a similar way, addressing the interlocutor’s own question in a paraphrased form: “how are you?”, “What can I say about me? It’s better to tell me about yourself.” This option is also suitable for politely translating the topic, when it is inconvenient to directly explain to a person that there is no desire to talk with him.

Does the source of the question have a sense of humor? The original rhyming answer will be appreciated by the play on words: “I didn’t have time to get married, it’s too early to die,” “reminds me of a taxi and a fairy tale - prices are rising, difficulties are progressing” or any other variations. However, such ideas are more applicable when communicating with a person you know well and with whom you are on friendly terms.

In the case when the question comes from a relative or other relatively close person, it is likely that he is really interested in getting acquainted with the events of that period of your life that he managed to miss. How much detail to delve into them is a personal decision for everyone. Don't want to share your problems? You can only outline the positive side, trying not to describe everything. There is a high degree of trust - it is worth delving into the details. The only thing is that you don’t need to lie: to conceal some information is not to lie.

When questioned by an unpleasant person whose interest in your life is perceived with suspicion or other negativity, you can embellish the reality. True, here too you need to stay within limits, because a global deception in the presence of mutual acquaintances is easy to uncover. A certain amount of causticity and sarcasm are allowed. Everything is selected according to the personality of the person with whom the dialogue is being conducted. “Against the background of children in Africa - amazing, next to the oligarchs - mediocre,” etc.

After the stage of asking questions about life, another question is often used that sets the teeth on edge of users of social networks, a question about the current occupation. He can look both like “what are you doing?” and like “what are you doing?” It’s easy to answer his latest version in a different way, perceiving it as an interest in a hobby. But what to do with the other, more common one?

Again, it is necessary to proceed from the personality of the interlocutor. A stranger or someone with whom there is no desire to develop a dialogue? Make do with a sarcastic or malicious phrase, after which the conversation is unlikely to continue. For example: “I’m designing a plate for green men” or “I’m choosing a Lexus in the showroom.”

More polite options, suggesting the end of the conversation, may sound like “immersed in work” or “started an interesting movie, got ready to watch it.” If the questioner does not calm down, the scheme returns to the one used with the question “how are you?”: a monosyllabic answer and silence. Harsh, but often very effective.

Even if a standard set of questions haunts you day after day on social networks and random encounters on the street, the main thing is to radiate positive emotions and not take it out on your interlocutor. A sarcastic phrase will get you much more than a boorish answer. And be sure to take into account the type of relationship - this will determine your reaction to the question

Do you often ask your friends how they are doing? I think yes. However, you get the same question in return, perhaps even more often. Sometimes such a question is not at all appropriate, and sometimes the person who is interested in your affairs is not part of your circle of trust, and accordingly, you will not tell them about events in your life.

The most common question is “How are you?” occurs during a pause or while maintaining a conversation and is nothing more than a note of politeness. In any case, politeness is important, so let's learn to answer the question in an original way!

Originally Answered: How are you?

To such a simple and almost daily question, we are used to saying: “Okay,” and closing the question with that. But you need to understand the current situation, the environment and your attitude towards your interlocutor.

Thus, this question can be answered with a witty joke, but on the condition that you communicate with friends. It is strictly not recommended to respond with cutting phrases to parents, superiors and unfamiliar people.

Friends - answers to the question “How are you?”

Let's look at some answers to a question asked by a friend:

If you like to get smart, you can answer in an original and philosophical way:

Just utopian subjectivism.
Incredibly banal erudition.
The paradox of life.

To the question: “How are you?” you can answer using humor

. But don't forget that you can only joke with friends. In this case, you can find a lot of appropriate options:

Various situations

In order to answer the question how are you with humor, the context of the conversation must be appropriate. A party in a noisy company, correspondence with a good friend, an unexpected meeting with an old acquaintance, or other circumstances may influence the choice of tone and form of response. In addition, it is worth considering the form in which the dialogue takes place - oral or written . Differences in the perception of text can easily play a cruel joke.

Here are some tips on how to answer the question “How are you?” via SMS or other written message:

Never write anything that you would not say to a person in person. This is the first and main rule, as it helps to avoid unpleasant situations, quarrels and misunderstandings.
Watch your speech and tone. Even close friends are pleased to read competent messages!
The first answer should be short and express the state of affairs as a whole, for example: “I didn’t give birth,” “Tolerant,” and the like.
Avoid phrases with ambiguous meaning. Due to the lack of intonation and timbre of the voice, the meaning of phrases may be misunderstood.
Consider the character of the interlocutor when choosing a witty answer. You should be especially careful with touchy or vulnerable people.
Don't be rude in your messages. Choose your words and phrases carefully.
Maintain the other person's tone. For example, having received the phrase “Hi, what are you doing?” answer in the same spirit. The difference in communication styles alienates, and by maintaining the conversation in the same spirit, you will ensure a good continuation of it.
Use emoticons and stickers. They can say better than words what is difficult to explain.

Communication built on these rules will bring many good acquaintances and strengthen existing friendships.

In oral speech it is much easier to regulate the meaning of words and often you don’t have to spend a lot of time choosing words and phrases. But it is worth remembering about your personal, genuine interest in your interlocutor, because this is the key to success. Almost all people enjoy attention, so mutual interest will make the conversation lively and enjoyable.

"How are you?" is a wonderful tool that can be used in any situation and wrapped in anything. You just need to learn how to use it correctly. Don't be afraid of this phrase. Just be yourself and let every answer you give be as individual and special as you are!

“How are you in your personal life?” - how to answer such a question?

Most people simply cannot do anything about their curiosity, and some ask just like that, so this question can be heard just as often.

You don’t always want to answer this question more often, because it’s not at all necessary

to let others know about the details of your relationship with your significant other, and even more so to talk about this or that specific situation or about the weekend spent together.

For this reason, you can simply prepare an original answer

, which will not oblige you:

Everything is perfect
Thank you excellent. What about your life?
There's nothing to complain about.

How to answer the question “How are you?” guy?

In order to answer this question to a guy, you need to analyze your intimacy. You can respond by expressing your sympathy

, and in a rough form. In other words, you can give a closed and open answer.

If you answer openly, you will encourage the other person to continue the conversation. A closed answer is a signal that you are not in the mood to talk right now.

Are you attracted to a guy? In this case, it is worth taking advantage of some reticence, for example:

Very good. After all, you started a conversation with me. How are you doing?
Great, I'm improving! Will you join me?
I smile and communicate with you. Guess.

In cases where the relationship with the guy is not the best

, you can answer something like this:

Mood swings, tummy tugs and much more due to PMS. And how are you doing?
What kind of business do you think I might have?
I was drawing, now I had to take a break from this enjoyable activity.
Do you have good reason to ask me this?

You can answer more neutrally, but closed:

Everything is fine.
I'm digging in my head.
I meditate.

Options for answering the question “How are you doing?” incredible amount! The main thing is to correctly assess the interlocutor. Cause we all need to show respect

even to strangers. We should not forget that we must behave the way we would like people to behave towards us.

Unfortunately, many people don’t want to understand this, but you shouldn’t follow them. If you answer the question correctly, you can win people over

, and if necessary, let them know that you are not ready to talk.

You can even answer in English. If everything is good, we say: “Fine, thanks.” If you are not in the best mood, you can answer: “Could be better.”

By answering in English, you have several advantages

, for example, this is creative, in addition, such an answer will be more superficial, and it is unlikely that the interlocutor will want to know even more about your life.

If you are still interested in the life of your interlocutor, it is better to reciprocate. You can ask yourself whether he is doing well, and after analyzing the answer, you can offer to celebrate (if everything is good) with delicious ice cream or to cheer him up (when things are not so good) with delicious coffee.

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Common phrases

Well, for those who don’t want to think about the answer, you can simply choose a stock phrase

, For example:

Use our tips and you will never find yourself in an awkward situation!

And we offer 95 more options for how you can answer this question. The training “Creativity and Wit in Speech” by Dmitry Ustinov helped us with this. So, how are you doing?

The best!
Out of quiet sadness
All OK!
Fine.
Fine, thanks, and you? - very nice - goodbye
Nothing
Whatever...
Eh, what are we doing? We have business, but the prosecutor has BUSINESS
Yes, I’m still alive, and I don’t think I’m going to die
The pension is good. promoted.
The salary is good. Small but good.
Because
Why?
Just
Is it that simple?
All in a bundle
Like in "Brother 2"
Great! I wish the same for you
And you?
Everything is good, but it will be even better!
The best. It's good that no one is jealous.
Great, can't wait.
Good - you won’t believe it, bad - you won’t help
Kiss me first!
Yesterday I broke two ribs...
As black is white
It's like a fairytale
As always, that is good
As always, that is bad
From the point of view of banal erudition, I ignore the criteria of utopian subjectivism, conceptually interpreting generally accepted de-fanizing polarizers, therefore, the consensus achieved by the dialectical material classification of universal motivations in the paradogmatic connections of predicates solves the problem of improving the formative geotransplantation quasi-puzlistats of all kinetically correlating aspects, and that’s fine.
Khorovo
Regularly!
How about you?
How about you.
How about you?!
Like in Poland: whoever has the cart is the master
What exactly are the matters?
As always
As you see
Still alive.
Didn't die and didn't get married
How are things really going?
Is this the case?
What is it?
There's nothing to do
What's going on? I'm not busy today!
Oh, poor, unfortunate me, I’m so tired, every day I have to come up with an answer to the question “How are you?”
Old lady Agatha Christie once said a wonderful phrase: “You don’t have to say something if you have nothing to say.”
There are two ways to stump a person: ask him “How are you doing” and ask him to tell you something
Don't know
I find it difficult to answer
Ambivalently
Sluggishly
Things are going well, the office writes
Aren't you in a hurry?
Do you want to talk about it?
A day by carriage, two on foot!
Like a parrot, whose cat pulls its paw across the floor, and he joyfully shouts “Let's go!”
Like a zebra
Like in a taxi. The further you go, the more expensive it is.
Like a kolobok - the left and right are the same.
Like a sausage in dough, fun and angry
Not bad compared to Bublikov
Just like Michael Jackson 15 years ago.
Better than yesterday, but worse than tomorrow...
What's the matter with such things!
Affairs? ?? No, I’m not a business person...
Just like five minutes ago...
Do you want it all at once or in parts?
I'm a natural slacker.
So much has not been done, so much has not been done! And how much remains to be done!
There's a lot to do
Mind blowing
You can answer women like this, squinting your eyes coquettishly - “What?”
Fine! And you have?
Regularly!
Tolerable.
Undoubtedly.
Children are starving in Angola, but everything is fine
Everything is covered in chocolate, even the keyboard!
I’m growing, blooming, getting old... Everything is as usual
Yes, you bring me to ecstasy with your questions... Ask me what else I do and I’m yours forever...
You are incomparably original in your questions
Yes, okay, yesterday I received the Nobel Prize for my contribution to the development of eco-structural units in the field of cetacean ciliates of shoes and slippers and for the discovery of nano-technologies that will help penguins overcome the ice age in African forests and Hawaiian deserts in the state of Massa Chussets, Washington County.
Like Scrooge McDuck
Life is hard without Novo-Passit...
I also don’t care how you are doing, but since we haven’t seen each other for a long time, out of decency I need to ask something.
with your prayers
I'm doing great! I look forward to hearing more about my personal life!
Ask another question please
Envy silently
Hasn't killed anyone yet
Average for the region
Relatively. If you compare it with Lenin, then it’s good, if you compare it with a millionaire, then not so much.

There used to be a saying that a bore is a person who, in response to the question: “How are you doing,” actually tells how he is doing, and in very detail. Therefore, many tried to answer this question monosyllabically and uninterestingly, without fear of being branded as a person without a creative streak. Saying “Excellent” or “Good” every time is too commonplace. You definitely won’t get into the cohort of witty people with this approach. After all, even such a simple question “how are you?” can be answered with creativity. And here's how.

Your emotional state

First of all, we tend to take into account our emotional state when deciding how to answer the question how are you. If we are in a good mood, then this question will be followed by a long and vivid dialogue , where all the events and affairs of recent days will be mentioned. In this case, we don’t think about the answer for long and say frankly - good, excellent, wonderful! Such an answer encourages conversation and can even improve the mood of the interlocutor.

What if things don’t allow for a positive answer? If you are not in the mood to talk about your affairs, because there are too many of them, and they are not going well, and, in general, the weather is bad both outside and in your soul? You can use ready-made speech templates that can make your answer witty and polite. Popular answers in such cases are as white as soot, better than everyone else, no one is jealous, normal.

The question of how are you doing is so universal that you can avoid answering by asking the same thing from your interlocutor. A counter question will help you avoid talking about your own personal life and show respect for the initiator of the conversation, giving him the opportunity to speak.

How to answer the question: “how are you?”

Besides the fact that there is a folk saying “as white as soot,” you can invent something yourself. It all depends on who your interlocutor is, whether you want to continue the dialogue with him or her, or whether you need to cut off the thread of conversation at the moment and run away about your business. By the way, the question can be asked not at all in person, but over the phone, in a chat or on a social network. For such cases, there is another duty “weapon” - emoticons, or symbols of emotions.

1) Answer with humor

A great way to answer this question is to make a joke. Especially when everything is bad - this will show that you do not lose spirit even in the hour of problems.

Here are the options:

Not “good”, but with the same letter. By the way, horseradish is a vegetable, if anything... And it’s very spicy!
Great, can't wait!
What's the matter with such things!
Affairs??? No, I’m not a business person...
Business happens to the one who does something, and I rest!
Let's leave things to the businessmen, and let's go have fun!
Well, what can happen when it’s raining outside (snow, sun, moon, night, 21st century, etc. - depending on the situation).

2) Send emoticons or a funny video

Various versions of emoticons or stickers are perfect for answering this seemingly banal question. Video clips are also suitable, most often no more than a few seconds, with various phrases appropriate to the situation. If you are at the computer, then you can find a thematic demotivator that reflects the whole essence of the problems that are currently pressing for you. For example, a photo of a man on a paraglider landing on a beach infested with crocodiles. You can also find a video quote from the film “Only Old Men Go to Battle” (for those who haven’t watched it, it’s a movie about the Great Patriotic War, about pilots), where one of the heroes, flying on a downed plane, answers on the radio: “Everything is fine, I'm falling!

3) Answer witty and funny

You can remember the same phrase in a telephone conversation if something in your life has really gone wrong.

You can use something close to this:

I'm flying, I just jumped with a parachute. And what? Not noticeable?
Oh, poor, unfortunate me, I’m so tired, because every time I have to come up with an answer to the question “How are you?”
In Africa, children are starving, but everything is fine.
Everything is covered in chocolate, even your cell phone!
Yes, okay, yesterday she received the Nobel Prize for her contribution to the development of the study of grooming and rearing of the laboratory rat, as well as for the discovery of nanotechnology that will help penguins overcome global warming and survive it in Hitler’s secret bunker.
I'm doing great! I look forward to hearing more about my personal life!
Relatively. If you compare it with Marx, then it’s great, if you compare it with a multimillionaire, then not so much.

The ex asks, “How are you?” - what to say?

Of course, your ex should not suspect that you are still thinking about him and regretting the breakup. Therefore, in order to upset your ex as much as possible, you must tell him as much positive information about yourself as possible. For example, that you have a new highly paid job, new interesting acquaintances with interesting men, and as a test shot, tell him about your imminent marriage. And so that you are not suspected of lying, give such information not all at once, but in portions at each meeting.

What to tell your ex?

But the easiest way to answer this question is when everything in life really works out wonderfully. Then you can, without hesitation, give the exact answer: “Everything is fine in my life!”

May your wishes come true.
Your life blossomed like a cherry tree,
To make it easy and simple for you
Answer the question “How are you?”

How to give a guy an original answer to the question “how are you?”

The one person you really want to show off your wit to is the opposite sex. Humor brings people together and disarms them.

These would be great answers:

Good mood, it would be nice to go for a walk, but there are no offers yet.
Amazing. After all, you are communicating with me.
Great, I’m improving in all directions!
Will you join? Guess! Hint: I smile when I talk to you.

When you don’t have the best relationship with a guy, and you want to push him away from you in different ways, you can give one of the following answers:

Constant mood swings, a tugging stomach, tense nerves like a string, and all sorts of other nasty things, in general, PMS. And how are you?
How do you think I'm doing? I was reading my favorite book, and now I had to be distracted because of some people walking around here.
Do you have any good reason to ask me this?

In addition to negative and positive, the answer can be neutral, but at the same time closed. You need to not push the person away from you, and at the same time show that the conversation is inappropriate now:

Everything is fine, beautiful marquise...
I'm doing some soul-searching.
I meditate.

Intimacy level

Our relationships with other people often determine the manner and style of communication. If the phrase “Hi, how are you, what are you doing?” comes from a good close friend, the answer will be one, but when it is an SMS message from a neighbor upstairs who constantly makes noise with a drill at night, it will be completely different.

Try to find the appropriate answer for each:

Parents. Families usually have close, confidential communication, so if mom or dad asks how things are going, it is better for them to answer honestly, without resorting to sarcasm, wit or inappropriate humor.
Significant other. If your boyfriend (or girlfriend) asks how you are doing, then everything is fine with your relationship! A loved one is ready to listen and understand even the most absurd cases in life and give practical advice. For a change, you can surprise him by answering: regularly, what about you?
Relatives sometimes also demand attention and are interested in our personal lives. Take into account your age and outlook on life, and feel free to joke in response - I don’t know what’s going on, there’s nothing to do. The answer question is also great for such situations.
Friends also have the right to know the truth, so you can tell them all the facts. This level of intimacy also allows you to be creative, show off your wit, and respond in a funny way. For example: regularly, ambivalently, I'm a natural slacker, ask something easier.
Familiar. When those with whom we communicate infrequently suddenly remember us and ask how life is, then there are two options: they need something or are just bored. These people, with their questions, force you to seek advice from Yandex and formulate a clear answer so as not to give rise to gossip. In this case, the following phrases are suitable: there is a lot to do, like a zebra; Everything is covered in chocolate, even the keyboard!
Strangers online often use text messaging to find new friends, girlfriends, and adventures. Such persons should be treated with caution, especially if their speech is illiterate and their question is rude. What are you doing? These are clear signs of a poorly educated individual, communication with whom cannot bring anything good. It's better to simply ignore them.
New friends online may also be interested in how you are doing. You shouldn’t be too frank with people you don’t know well. You can answer funny, for example, with the phrase: like a sausage in dough: fun and angry! To get to know each other better, the interlocutor may ask what your hobbies are, what to answer is up to you. You can talk about a hobby, favorite pastime, movie, or just joke if you are sure that the other person will understand the joke.

In fact, it is not difficult to determine who your interlocutor is. It is important to try to show respect for the person, but not to stoop to the level of illiterate adventurers. After all, the impression we create about ourselves .

How to answer the question “what are you doing?” to interest the interlocutor

Here it is important not only to be known as a witty person, but also to hook and intrigue your interlocutor.

For example, like this:

Right now? I'm answering your question!
And you guess three times! You guessed it - I'm done with the cookie.
I’m talking (online, chatting, etc.) with an intelligent person.

The last answer implies some kind of continuation, like:

Who are you communicating with? (Who is this smart guy?)
With you (You).

"How are you?" — What to say to a guy you like

From this simple question you can inflate an invitation to some action or conversation

Today I have a payday at work, and my mood matches the size of my salary.
I have a bottle of good, Armenian, five-star mood, if only you were around - and everything would be gorgeous.
I want to lift my nose up, but he looks down with a hook...

The first example is intriguing because I want to ask further: “What is your salary?” After this, you can start a long, unobtrusive conversation.

The second example is an open invitation to spend the evening together.

The third answer will indicate that you cannot cheer yourself up, but still try to joke. This is a veiled invitation to action. The guy will have to either entertain you over the phone or offer to go somewhere together.

How to answer your ex-boyfriend’s question “how are you?” in order to hurt him

Such questions from “ex” are not always sincere. Often a guy may want to tease you. And what’s most interesting is that this is done because the “ex” himself feels awkward when meeting you, but wants to show that he is on horseback.

Therefore, you need to answer in such a way as to upset him:

I was in a wonderful mood until I met you, my dear.
Great. What did you think that without you the Earth would stop rotating?
I’m creaking slowly, and quite annoyingly!
I won’t tell you, otherwise you’ll be jealous!
Great, unlike some.
Sorry, I had an autism attack when I saw you.

How to answer a stranger’s question: “how are you?”

They say that this method of communication or dating is common in the USA, but our people are not so liberated, and some still consider ordinary street dating bad manners. And if you don’t think so yourself, then you may simply not like the person you’re talking to who just dropped on your head out of nowhere.

Then you can “shave it off”:

What are you talking about?
Which ones exactly?
So, can you help?
What do you think?
Why do you need my business?
Absolutely nothing;
I'm doing my homework, I can't be distracted.
Sorry, but I'm busy;
Working;
I'm watching a movie;
How are you?
Why do you want it?
Is this really important for you to know?
I’m thinking about how to get rid of an annoying interlocutor.

It’s good to answer something in rhyme:

Not a bump on the head!
I bought some pants!
Like a church mouse!
We drank all the money.

In addition to the question “How are you?”, there are several more banal questions that you have to face almost every day. And if questions of this kind bother you with their triviality, then you can diversify everything with the help of answers.

1) How are you doing?

I am like Mars - there is no life, but everything is on fire.
But things have already passed by.
Some have it worse.
What's going on? Everything has already been handed over to the investigative committee.
I feel like a zebra.
Nothing has changed since yesterday's meeting.
Everything seems to be great, but, unfortunately, no one is jealous.
Life hits you over the head with a monkey wrench.
I'm like a button - every time - in a loop.
“That’s bad” (and let them guess where the mistake is).

2) What do you do?

I draw American presidents.
I am hiding from Scotland Yard workers in the underground organization of Freemasons.
I spit at the ceiling and try to dodge.
I envy you with black envy.
I am growing above myself.
I print money on a printer.
I count the bribes, sitting behind the thick curtains.
I'm investigating the brutal murder of a huge fly in the student cafeteria.
I cleanse the aura of my phone book from evil spirits.
I am answering your text message.

3) How is life young?

Yes, just like the old one.
Oh, it’s not a young life anymore.
It sings, blooms and smells.
How about your old one?
When I return to my youth, I will tell you.
My life sent greetings to yours.
Getting younger every day.
I'll ask her now.
Yesterday I asked her, she says it’s not bad.
Yes, she somehow passed by, leaving me the old one.

4) What's personal?

Everything is fine (in rhyme).
I'm going on the offensive.
Many of you were killed.
Not calm.
Like in a fairy tale: the further you go, the scarier it gets!
Intense battles are taking place.
Indecent (again in rhyme).
The enemy is running.
The horizon is clear.
Came out the winner.

5) What's new?

What do you remember from the old days?..
Here, I bought bread...
I grow, bloom, get old, everything is as usual.
I met you here
It seems the rain is starting…
So you can’t tell right away...
It seems that a dictator came to power, but I don’t remember in which country.
I don’t know, probably another season of Santa Barbara.
275 puppies were born in the world.
The moon seems to have lost its course...

What to ask instead of “how are you?”

How are you doing?
What's up?
Like at home?
How are things going, really?
What are you doing?
How was your day?
What happened at work (school)?
What did you do today?
What are your plans for the future?
How are you (yourself)?

All these questions also fall into the category of banal ones. They can be asked to any person, even a stranger. But if you want to show concern for someone, then you need to ask the person exactly what he is living with now. If you are studying, then ask a question regarding school, college, or institute. If you communicate with a young parent, then you need to ask how the child is. Conversations about babies can be truly endless. The only thing that can compete with this topic is a conversation about pets, because they are like children to us.

Passionate people have their own inexhaustible topics: theater, photography, literature, fine arts, dancing, electronics, cars, fishing, football... The main thing is to know what a person is passionate about, and to be at least a little in the subject. And then everything will work out!

First, understand the situation

Don’t try to immediately rush to sort things out with the colleague who set you up. To begin with, it doesn’t hurt to probe the soil:

Maybe, in addition to your current job, you have more interesting offers with prospects for career growth? Then it makes sense not to waste your energy for a “place in the sun” in this company and go where you will be more comfortable.
Try to find out what the colleague who set you up was trying to get you fired or just want to make you nervous?
Not a single slander will find a lively response if your bosses at work treat you well. This means you shouldn’t worry – it will be difficult for the enemy to shake your authority.
There are two reasons why you were framed. The first is that you are a good specialist, which prevents your opponent or rival from moving up the career ladder. Secondly, you began to work poorly, began to make mistakes and errors, which did not escape the attention of your enemy.

So, you have found out the reason. It's time to talk about what to do if a colleague sets you up in front of your boss.