When there is no longer a chance to get your ex back: 4 worst situations

How to return your beloved woman - contrary to generally known ideas, returning your beloved half is possible, although it is quite a difficult matter. After all, the fair half is much more patient than men, as a result of which, when they decide to leave their partner, then, for the most part, their departure is the result of a well-thought-out and carefully weighed decision. Therefore, making them fall in love with you again will be much harder than the first time.

Among the elderly population there is an opinion that it is impossible to fool the heart of a stronger half who loves. But if there is a feeling that the chosen one has grown cold, then plunging into a depressive trance or plunging into a drunken state for a couple of days will still be a premature reaction. On the contrary, it is necessary to make every conceivable effort and unimaginable effort to return the former feelings.

What happens after a breakup

At first glance, it may seem that the more time that passes after your relationship ended, the worse it gets. After all, she could forget you, meet someone else, start dating and even get married. All this is true, but there is another side: time erases in memory all the negativity that led to your breakup. Moreover, this works in both cases - both if she left you and if you left.

Let's consider both situations:

If she left you on her own , it means that at some point your mistakes exceeded a critical level. Probably, at first after the breakup, the girl didn’t even want to hear about you, but no one can remember grievances forever. Psychologists say that at a distance, even a negative attitude gradually becomes neutral because emotions subside. If between you there was not only bad, but also a lot of good, then in separation she will inevitably remember this good.
If you left her , in this case your reasons may be different, but be that as it may, at first after the breakup the girl will hold a grudge and desire to take revenge. Again, time will help smooth out these emotions, and will also show her that your leaving was not manipulation, but a serious, deliberate step.

So, now I think you understand why time works for you: it helps you forget the negativity and start with a clean slate. Unless, of course, you repeat your mistakes.

IMPORTANT: when thinking about how to get your ex-girlfriend back, pay attention to the reasons why you want to get back together after a long breakup.
If the whole point is that you are simply afraid of loneliness, there is no need to return anyone! Solve your main problem: learn to meet people, start relationships, flirt. Getting your ex back only makes sense if you really want her. If you are sure that this - I’m not afraid of using a loud word - is true love.

A man that any girl would want to return to

And now I will highlight the qualities that girls like most in men. You can check for yourself whether you match this portrait.

So, a man who women like...

Responsible. It is not necessary to be the leader of a large team; a man must be able to bear responsibility for his family - his wife/girlfriend, children. They should have respect for you.
Strong. It's not so much about physical development, but about the presence of an unbending rod inside. This is both calm (based on self-confidence) and a manifestation of will - when you encounter difficulties and resistance from other people.
Self-sufficient . You are completely autonomous and do not need anyone's help or approval. You don't care about the opinions of others. Self-sufficient people do not adapt to others in their desire to receive some benefits. Such people rely only on their own strength.
Ambitious . You think about the future - in the short and long term. And you have plans for progressive development in all directions. You understand what you are striving for and value yourself. You make plans and strive to implement them.
Optimistic . This is belief in one’s strengths and a positive attitude towards the future - no matter what. You don't know what will happen tomorrow, but you are sure that everything will be fine. This confidence is conveyed to those for whom you are responsible, a feeling of security and calm.
Socialized . Unlike many men, most girls do not separate themselves from society. Yes, perhaps, as you get older, you will want to move to a quiet place near a lake and live away from the hustle and bustle. But it’s unlikely that girls are attracted to the image of a homebody in a big city. A man should be a visible part of everything that happens.
Deep . Perhaps some people like beautiful girls who are empty-nesters, but such men only repel them. It’s normal for a guy to improve spiritually (we’re not talking about religion), think about serious things, and even be an intellectual. A smart person and a bore are not the same thing. A rich inner world does not devalue masculinity, on the contrary, it increases it.
Witty . It’s not for nothing that all girls say that they love guys with a sense of humor. For them, this is an indicator of intelligence (including emotional intelligence), internal freedom and self-confidence. The ability to laugh at oneself speaks of freedom from complexes, and to joke about what surrounds one speaks of courage and observation. The ability to deftly put sharp thoughts into understandable jokes is an integral part of developed thinking.
Good looking . You don't have to follow fashion closely. But you need your appearance to be appropriate and neat. You must be able to highlight your strengths and hide your weaknesses. Know what hairstyle suits you and what things suit you. Keep it all neat. Understand how to look appropriate in a given situation.
Attractive and in demand. The feeling that other girls like a guy makes your chosen one (or the girls who like you) keep themselves on their toes. If you know how to win girls over and flirt, then there will never be stagnation in your personal life, and girls will rate you highly.
Charismatic . In simple words, this is highly pumped up charm. Charismatic people are liked by everyone, regardless of gender.
Passionate . Each man has his own activities that characterize him and allow him to escape from routine. We can say that this is a hobby, but this concept is broader. Usually those who like to lie on the sofa in front of the TV do not have a hobby.
Gentle . Again, this does not harm the brutality in any way. It’s just that a man shows tenderness and care only to those closest to him. And at those moments when it is appropriate. A man will not respond with tenderness to rudeness - even from his loved ones. Otherwise, this is not a man, but a rag.
Understanding . To understand, you need to be genuinely interested. This skill speaks volumes about how you feel about your girlfriend.
Patient . Vanity is a trait of the young and stupid. If used correctly, patience can achieve more. Women are impatient by nature, so they especially value this quality in men.

All these qualities can be developed in yourself; they are not innate. This takes time and persistence.

Attractiveness is not an isolated feeling. The first guy in the village is unlikely to become a king in the metropolis. You are constantly competing with the men around you for the attention of girls. Girls also compete, but to a greater extent in terms of appearance. For men, qualities come to the fore that depend on the amount of experience and the ability to convert it into skills. It sounds like a job application speech, but it's true.

Therefore, if you are left alone, then you do not need to be a recluse waiting for your ex to return. If you are frankly bad at something due to a lack of experience, then you have just the time to hone your skills. I'm talking about those skills that can help you build relationships with girls:

The ability to have a fun and memorable date;
Maintain interest throughout the communication period, even when you communicate online;
Clearly and quickly resolve conflict situations;
Be a skillful and sensitive lover;
Correctly position yourself at different stages of a relationship and be able to distinguish between the latter.

We are accustomed to girls adapting to the desires of men. They spend their entire lives looking for ways to be attractive, for example. A variety of female manipulations are also the result of adapting to a man. But the guys themselves seem to have missed the moment when the world changed. The need for a man in a woman’s life has decreased in recent decades, and now the stronger sex has to learn to be in demand.

Largely because of this, today girls leave boys and husbands so easily. If previously it was enough to sometimes be sober and not get too carried away in assault (I’m exaggerating now, of course), today a girl can leave if she doesn’t like something. At the same time, she may not lose much in her quality of life. Nothing can be done about it, and we can only take it for granted.

Why am I saying this? To build a happy relationship with a girl who is suitable for this, a man needs to constantly improve. And the fact that you were abandoned is a clear signal that you weren’t trying hard enough.

This may sound unpleasant: why should a man do something solely for the sake of women? But really, you're only doing it for yourself. What difference does it make what specifically motivates you to develop? In this context, the fact that the girl left can be considered a great success. After all, if you agree with the words that I wrote at the very beginning - you suffer and cannot live without her - then you have no other way but to pull yourself together right now and start working on yourself.

It is no coincidence that all the successful stories of returning and building new happy relationships from my practice are always accompanied by an improvement in the man’s quality of life.

Return strategy: how to restore relationships

I have already given a step-by-step plan in the article “How to get your ex-girlfriend back in the shortest possible time?” and this plan is universal - you can safely use it in this case. Let me list the main points again.

Stages of relationship restoration:

Analysis of your mistakes and shortcomings;
Reboot - change the image, correct defects;
Friendly meeting and first conversation;
Forming a strong interest in yourself.

I will not repeat everything that I have already written, I will only note how important it is to actually change during separation. After a long breakup, the girl will in any case compare you with the man who remains in her memory. And this is the time to make it clear that your life is not over without her.

If you didn’t waste time and improved in two main areas - in terms of image and finances - the thought “it’s still a pity that we broke up” will definitely appear in her head. Moreover, it is not at all necessary to set yourself the goal of earning a million and building muscles, like Schwarzenegger at the height of his career. Let's be honest: few people succeed in this. It is enough for those around you to notice changes for the better, and you yourself feel a surge of vitality.

Let me say briefly: the main goal of the reboot is not so much to “become rich and beautiful”, but to gain a surge of energy and self-confidence. In this state, you will attract attention, no matter what you look like or how much you earn.

How to get a girl back if she's single

So, you know that your ex is not currently in a serious relationship. This does not mean that she will rush into your arms with delight, but it is quite easy to arouse her interest and attention.

If you have often seen each other in a common company (at work or with friends), if possible, try to get out of her sight for a while. This time is worth devoting to changes - at least in terms of image. Of course, you can’t disappear from work without consequences, but you can use your vacation to pump yourself up, change your wardrobe, try a new haircut, etc.

Change your behavior style:

Pay attention to other girls in your general circle;
Learn to joke and flirt a little with everyone, but not with her;
Create an aura of friendly attention around yourself.

It’s good if you start a friendly relationship with one of her friends - without going beyond friendship, but showing a clear preference. Starting to date someone else in front of your ex can cause both jealousy and hostility. But a little intrigue will only arouse interest. Let her wonder if this is friendship or something more.

Having created the right atmosphere around you, take the first step. To begin with, friendly - in the form of short conversations, small services. Do not rush to declare your intentions, treat her warmly and friendly, but not hotter than others. Wait until she herself begins to initiate contact, and only then can you choose the right moment to say how you want to restore your relationship.

How to get a girl back if she's dating someone else

It often happens that by the time you decide to start over, she already has someone else. Well, your task will be more difficult, but don’t rush to give up. In this case, look for tips on how to get your ex-girlfriend back from your friends, who probably know whether she still has feelings for you after a long breakup. It is not necessary to ask directly - just communicate and “catch” the necessary information. But if you have a good relationship with one of her friends, you can ask a direct question.

The fact is that it is almost impossible to take away a girl who has a beloved man. But relationships don't always mean love. And if she is dating someone else, but there are many problems in their relationship, you have every chance to play in contrast. Choose the moment when she once again quarrels with a new guy, and start acting. Invite her to meet in a friendly way, to get distracted, to go somewhere... At the moment of a quarrel with her boyfriend, the girl will most likely agree. And here, don’t get lost and give everything that the other one lacks: if he is a calm bore - be cheerful and reckless, if he is a “party star” - show attention and care. But don’t demand that she immediately return to you, let her come to this thought on her own.

Is the devil really that scary?

I'll tell you a little secret. If you haven’t messed up lately in such a way that it’s easier to tear your head off, then most likely the news of the breakup is a banal bluff. Girls love to languidly roll their eyes and wring their hands and say in a trembling voice: “We are breaking up.” You can understand that this is all a complete mess and just another theatrical scene by the following points:

"I still love you"

This is a bomb phrase. She follows the proposal of separation. Immediately behind her, the young lady begins to broadcast that she is in unbearable pain, she will not be able to forget you for a long time, but it will be better for both. Circus, and that's all. Well, let her play the role of a sufferer for a little while. Your task is to play along with her. Fall on your knees, shower your feet with kisses, pour in compliments, ask for forgiveness for everything. Even for something I haven’t done yet. Most likely this scene will end with mutual tears and sex right there on the floor.

“I’ll stay here until I find an apartment.”

A great request. When they leave, they immediately run off into the sunset. Sometimes even leaving things behind. There are no “I’ll spend the night” or “I’ll live for a week.” If a girl is on her territory, then it’s a bit more difficult to determine. If you rent a house, or she lives with you, then everything is much simpler. Once she says something like that, you don't have to worry. Take on increased responsibilities, such as making morning coffee and omelettes. No one has ever escaped care. Although there are capricious ones, let them go, it’s not a big loss.

Doubt and long dialogue

We are talking about phrase constructions. “I think”, “it seems to me”, “I have a feeling” and the like, they say that the girl herself has not yet decided how much she wants this. The desire for a long conversation, the endless “no, wait!” - this is a direct indication that the young lady is bluffing. There are no such conversations before parting.

Five "no" when the girl returns

Do not try to call from unknown numbers if she has blocked you or does not answer the phone.
Don’t even think about “buying attention” with gifts or large favors - behave within the framework of friendly relations until she agrees to return.
Do not rush out with a proposal to “start all over again” at the first signs of attention from her - expect persistent positive interest.
Never push for pity by telling her how bad you feel without her. Psychologists are unanimous that pity and passion are incompatible.
Don’t tell her why you’re better than her new guy—participating in the “casting” won’t add points to you. Give her the opportunity to draw her own conclusions.

I hope these tips will help you choose the right path on how to get your ex-girlfriend back under any circumstances, and even after a long breakup. If all efforts turn out to be in vain, perhaps this is not love, but only emotional dependence that it is time to overcome. Remember: there are many girls in the world and, perhaps, you haven’t met the one yet.

How to communicate with a girl after she dumped you

If you didn’t go into total ignore or the ignore ended with her writing to you first, it’s important to behave correctly. To do this, you must understand how interested she really is in communication. It could be just an attempt to pull a string, an awakening interest, or a thinly hidden desire to return.

If the message is quite long (starting from 3 sentences), study its structure. The beginning will most likely contain the main emotion, which should help you determine how she feels. The middle should be considered as something that she came up with as an excuse to write to you (or there will be something generally uninformative there). In the end she will offer you something or try to provoke you.

How to answer?

Decide on a goal. Don’t write just like that—for the sake of an answer.
Be adequate in terms of emotions - mirror it.
Answer in a way that gives her space to respond.
Stay within the scope of the conversation given to her.

In any case, I hope that you will get to this point with the support of our specialists. Practice shows that without this, guys always make mistakes.

Is it possible to return a girl if she left?

If a guy finds himself in a situation where his girlfriend has left him, then the first thing to do is calm down. Regardless of what happened, a person is able to make a balanced, reasonable decision only in a calm state.

Before looking for ways to solve the problem, you need to find out for yourself whether it is possible to return a girl who has fallen out of love.

Many guys who broke up with a girl on her initiative believe that what happened cannot be corrected, and it is difficult to get everything back. This is wrong. You can return your loved one. But you need to think carefully and honestly answer the question of whether this is necessary. Do you want to get your partner back because you still love him, or are you just playing off your wounded male pride?

If it’s a matter of pride, then it’s better to let go of the situation and try to forget what happened as soon as possible. If you can’t imagine your continued existence without your beloved girl, then you should try to get her back.

The first thing to do is calm down. Then, you should think about what happened and find the reason why your relationship collapsed. Girls rarely leave first. But when a girl decides to be the first to end the relationship, then there are serious reasons for this. Therefore, it is important to understand the reasons for this behavior of your chosen one.

Possible reasons

The reasons that prompted a girl to end her relationship with a guy may be the following:

Another guy has appeared, whom the girl considers better or more promising than the previous one. But, even in this situation, it is possible to return a girl who has fallen out of love;
The partner checks the guy’s feelings in this way. Although this is not the best way, sometimes it works. But girls shouldn’t test their loved ones this way. Because of this reason, it will be easy to get the girl back, but not every guy will do it;
the girl was disappointed in her chosen one, she was simply no longer satisfied with her existing relationship. In this case, the guy will have to make a lot of effort to get his partner back.

You can find out the reason why your loved one decided to leave on your own. It is not necessary to interrogate the now ex-girlfriend for this. You can look through her pages on social networks. Girls love to share their suffering with others. Statuses and comments posted on the wall will help you understand what happened.

When the reason for the girl’s departure becomes more or less clear, you can begin to act.

Ways to get your wife back if she left first

Breakdowns don't just happen to unmarried couples. The wives also leave. This situation can be considered more serious, because the partners have joint property, and many have children. Therefore, it is much more difficult for a man to decide how to get his wife back if she has fallen out of love and left.

Usually such problems concern men who can be called real family men. They are really worried about the situation because they chose this particular woman to live with, and it is difficult for them to come to terms with the loss of their loved one.

Reasons for wife's leaving

Most often, family relationships are destroyed by women who find it difficult to sit in one place. To be happy, they constantly need a change of environment, they must constantly be on the move. And with such behavior, the presence of common children does not bother them. When such a woman gets tired of the monotony, she decides to leave and boldly breaks off the relationship.

Among the reasons that provoke wives to break up, there are other situations:

cheating spouse. Moreover, it is not necessary that the wife caught her husband in the act. It’s rare that a man cheats on his wife openly;
inattention from the spouse;
fatigue from constant everyday problems;
lack of assistance in raising children and solving everyday problems;
financial difficulties;
the woman simply fell out of love. Moreover, it is not necessary that another man appeared on the horizon.

Having figured out why your spouse left, you can begin active efforts to get her back.