My husband insults and humiliates my son from his first marriage.

Why does an ex-husband insult his ex-wife after a divorce?

The husband may not understand what is really happening, and instead of rekindling the fire of love for his wife, he begins to aggressively attack his wife and blame her for everything. He may be dissatisfied with his wife’s appearance, her behavior, loss of passion and tenderness, so he expresses his dissatisfaction through insults, yelling and humiliation.

He has a mistress. The man doesn’t dare tell you about this. It's shameful and disgusting. He understands this himself. Yes, and I don’t have enough courage. Therefore, the husband can begin to drive his wife out by screaming, eternal discontent and humiliation. Thus, he ensures that his wife decides to leave him. And it’s as if he’s not guilty of anything, and who’s left free in the end?
Your husband becomes disgusted with you. Because you are always grumbling, nagging, annoying. Well, the most important thing is that you launched yourself.

But this can only help if the husband also wants to improve. And if he doesn’t really care, and he doesn’t want to change and continues to humiliate you, then don’t injure yourself or your child - leave! Conclusions It is necessary to understand a simple truth: the situation cannot change on its own.

First Doctor

Attention He subconsciously knows about them, but does not even think about solving anything. You will only make the situation worse and anger him more. The only way out is to leave or wait until he understands the true reason for his discontent. The last option can take years, for some it takes less. Important Alcohol When intoxicated, men become more relaxed.

It’s not for nothing that they say that a sober man has it in his head, and a drunk man has it on his tongue. Women who live with husbands who insult them only when he is drunk console themselves: “It’s not him talking, it’s all alcohol.” In fact, the problem exists even when he is sober, although in this case he may suppress his own thoughts, feelings and emotions.

With such attacks he tries to protect his inferiority. Psychologists explain this behavior this way: by convincing himself and his wife that she is ugly, stupid, uninteresting, he becomes a little better in his mind. Such people tend to speak badly not only about loved ones, but also about everyone else.

The wife's success or her positive outlook on life aggravate the problem. The husband is annoyed by her joy and achievements, the recognition of the woman by other people. He will unconsciously try to lower her self-esteem so that she is at his level and “at the same time” with him. Difficult period not associated with his wife Men are laconic by nature and when they have problems, it is difficult for them to admit their weaknesses and share their experiences.

But accumulated negative emotions, together with excess testosterone, provoke aggression, and the spouse begins to insult, be rude, and make unreasonable claims.

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For example, he may humiliate his wife about her changed appearance, what happened after childbirth, and there may also be other reasons. My husband constantly insults and humiliates me, what should I do? Home » Relationships and family » Why does a husband insult and humiliate his wife. Psychology 02/12/2020 Valentina No comments yet Family relationships are multifaceted, it is foolish to believe that once you receive a marriage certificate, boundless happiness and positive emotions await you.

After the honeymoon, real life begins with problems, clarification of relationships, disagreements on this or that issue and other troubles that only loving and understanding people can cope with. Unfortunately, many husbands do not choose their expression in a showdown. The quarrels are becoming harsher, the words more offensive. Why does a husband insult and humiliate his wife, psychology? Let's try to understand the intricacies of human destinies.

He subconsciously knows about them, but does not even think about solving anything. You will only make the situation worse and anger him more. The only way out is to leave or wait until he understands the true reason for his discontent.

The last option can take years, for some it takes less. Alcohol When intoxicated, men become more relaxed.

It’s important It’s not for nothing that they say that a sober man’s mind is the same as a drunk man’s on the tongue. Women who live with husbands who insult them only when he is drunk console themselves: “It’s not him talking, it’s all alcohol.” Attention In fact, the problem exists even at the moment when he is sober, although in this case he may suppress his own thoughts, feelings and emotions.

With her he feels like a real man. Together with his mistress, he discusses your weaknesses, focuses his attention on them, and when he comes home he finds a thousand confirmations of his invented facts. She is something new, and you “prevent” him from living a full life.

In fact, he is afraid to make decisions, he is not ready to go through a divorce, separation. He doesn’t even want to start this topic with you, he’s afraid of change, and therefore chooses the easiest way. He tries in every possible way to ensure that you leave on your own. The true reason The most important point for a woman is to understand the true reason for her dissatisfaction.

We suggest you read: What to do if your wife does not give a divorce

In each specific situation it may be different. For example, in families with a small child, the young man ceases to feel the care of his wife. He does not want to share his wife with the baby, but he is not able to say this.

See also “Tips on how to stop controlling your husband.” Here we will try to understand the issue of how to stop controlling your husband. Women are the custodians of the hearth and try to keep everything under control, including their spouse.

Where have you been, with whom, when will you return? These are typical controller questions that unsettle even the calmest spouse. A destructive feeling hurts the controller first and then everyone else.

Psychologists advise women to pull themselves together and not turn a blind eye to insults from anyone. Improve yourself, take care of your appearance, become an interesting conversationalist. Love and value yourself, your confidence will rub off on others. Insults and humiliation of the spouse.

Hello, dear readers! “Each day is not much better than the previous one. It is much easier when the husband is at work. You look forward to the evening with some trepidation. Oh, it's better not to come home at all. How much longer will I endure all this? - this is exactly what a third of women on the planet think. The situation is not that uncommon.

Important Very often in family relationships situations arise when a husband insults his wife. Why does a husband insult and humiliate his wife? Psychology, as a science, cannot give an unambiguous answer to this question. Here everything depends on the specific situation and on what the relationship of the partners was like at the beginning of family life. The husband calls names and humiliates - advice from a psychologist Before using specific advice, you should figure out why the husband insults and humiliates his wife.

There are several reasons for this phenomenon. Below are some of them.

The husband feels that someone is beginning to encroach on his personal freedom and space. How to respond to your husband’s insults - the psychologist’s advice in this case boils down to stopping training the man and giving him more freedom.

The last option can take years, for some it takes less. Alcohol When intoxicated, men become more relaxed.

See also “Tips on how to stop controlling your husband.” Here we will try to understand the issue of how to stop controlling your husband. Women are the custodians of the hearth and try to keep everything under control, including their spouse.

Maybe tomorrow your relationship will change dramatically, but for your friends your husband will remain bad, trying to “kill you from the world.” And someday your stories will reach his friends.

Break off the relationship temporarily first, so that he has time to think about what is happening, to understand that you are his only woman, without whom he cannot live. How to build a relationship with your ex-husband The concept of “ex-husband” appeared relatively recently. Divorce became common in the twentieth century.

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Hello, dear readers! “Each day is not much better than the previous one. It is much easier when the husband is at work. You look forward to the evening with some trepidation. Oh, it's better not to come home at all. How much longer will I endure all this? - this is exactly what a third of women on the planet think. The situation is not that uncommon.

The situation is not that uncommon. When asked why a husband insults and humiliates his wife, psychology gives many disappointing answers, but you need to understand them. Since, I am sure that 99.9% of women have ever encountered this phenomenon. Many of them did not always come out of the situation with their heads held high and the door closed behind them.

My husband insults and humiliates my son from his first marriage.

Hello, Yuliana. Your story is a case when family counseling is needed. Without listening to the other side of the conflict (the husband), it is difficult to assess the situation.

Perhaps your husband (subconsciously) sees a competitor in your son and the whole fight is happening precisely because of you, i.e. fighting for your attention. Perhaps he has a certain feeling of envy towards your first husband (he was more successful, or they overlapped in life, work, or you carelessly said something positive about your ex or about your feelings for him during the bouquet and candy period, which hurt his pride) . But now what’s important is not what exactly came into his head, but the consequences that you, your son, and your common child as well, are “raking up.” Judging by what you describe (he locked him up with the baby in revenge), he is either a very infantile person who acts not from an adult, but from a childish position (like a petty dirty trick), or he is cruel and vindictive, able to hide these qualities for the time being , as they say, and these are just the first signs.

I understand, Yuliana, that you know how to show firmness. This is good, because people like your husband, unfortunately, mistake kindness for weakness and quickly sit on your neck, or rather even on your head. Therefore, when he starts a conflict or insults, you need to immediately communicate your position in a calm, dispassionate voice (without falling into emotions and hysterics): “I don’t like hearing such words, you don’t have to love my son, but you have to respect him and me, since took me as his wife and since I am the mother of your child.” Respecting your rights, boundaries and your dignity, you will even without words let your husband know that this is not possible with you. This is the only thing you can do now, or leave. But you write that in other respects he suits you, plus a small child, difficulties. Therefore, set your own rules in this matter. The main thing is not to get involved in quarrels, not to hold a grudge - to answer clearly, restrainedly and immediately to the fact. And try to praise him for any small achievements, so that it sounds not like praise to a child “well done,” but a woman’s admiration for her man - this way you will make him feel that there is only one man in the house - that’s him. And praise your son exactly as the mother of the child (analyze what words you usually say to each of them - perhaps something is confused there and therefore it is your tone that “catches” your husband when you talk to your son (more affectionately than to him), various epithets such as “protector, breadwinner, hero”, etc. - only to the husband. Yes, Yuliana, for your family happiness you, apparently, will have to fight, “quiet family happiness" is not your case. I wish you courage and feminine wisdom As soon as the opportunity arises, it is advisable to go to an in-person consultation with a psychologist in your city.

Sincerely, Svetlana Vladimirovna.

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Why is my ex-husband abusive after divorce?

Good afternoon I ask for your help! I divorced my husband on his initiative. He submitted the application to the registry office himself. I just had to sign for it. I was going through the divorce very hard, on antidepressants, the man was very dear to me. He always knew that I loved him very much. He even laughed at me , seeing my condition.

A week before the official divorce, he came and said that he didn’t love me, didn’t respect me, that he didn’t need a family, but if I really wanted to save my family, he would accept me. He was sure that I would return, I was so sure of my feelings for him. But despite them, I let him go, realizing that there was no point.

The concept of “ex-husband” appeared relatively recently. Divorce became common in the twentieth century. But, having become commonplace, each individual divorce has not ceased to be a source of stress for all members of a collapsing family. Relationships between people after divorce are determined by many factors. And so that they do not poison your life, you should make an effort and change something.

A series of popular detective stories by Daria Dontsova begins with the words: “I got married many times.

Vadim was handsome, but in their small village he had a reputation as a talker, an egoist, and most importantly, an incorrigible womanizer. After a year and a half, the family union was indeed dissolved: the young woman was tired of forgiving her husband’s endless infidelities. However, having ceased to be spouses, the young people remained lovers.

“Vadim is really not suitable for the role of a husband. But this man knows how to please a woman.

Husband after divorce

But nevertheless, in order for women to understand what a husband feels after a divorce and what men feel in general after a divorce, our site love-911 decided to highlight this issue in this article, so that women understand that men are people with feelings , experiences and emotions.

And also, before taking the decisive step and announcing a divorce, we thought carefully, because it is women who initiate divorces in 70% of cases.

This result is largely due to the fact that women are more emotional, unrestrained and hot-tempered.

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Man and divorce

It is believed that divorce is a serious mental trauma for a woman. Men, on the other hand, experience breakups much easier. Why is this happening? What is the fate of divorced men from a psychological point of view?

In women, the rupture of a long-term emotional attachment entails an acute crisis state, which then turns into chronic depression. After a divorce, a woman practically never returns to her previous level of mental health.

Every 8th divorcee makes a suicide attempt, every 4th seeks psychotherapeutic help.

Of course, we do not get married or get married in order to get divorced after some time. Our plans include a long happy life, but sometimes it makes its own adjustments and such seemingly strong relationships crack and the marriage falls apart. What is the relationship between ex-spouses after a divorce and is it always necessary to put an end to this step?

Alas, in our time, divorce is far from a rare phenomenon.

And in general, do everything to make your child feel good, because wives are exes, but children are forever and no matter what, and it is not their fault that mom and dad no longer love each other. So please, dear former friend, father and man, take out and put 25% of your income on a barrel if you have one child, or one third if you have two. Well, then it’s almost irrelevant, since there are almost no more than two in modern families.

It’s simple, and there are certainly no outright scum among us, ex-husbands and lifelong fathers.

People meet and part, it has always been and will be so. But what could be the reasons for separation, and why does a man sometimes return to a woman? There are many reasons for this. Some of them can be found in this article, which is devoted to this topic.

Usually men find a reason for breaking up without any obstacles. Some guys realize after the first date that they have different views on life with a girl, despite the fact that they like her outwardly.

Problems arise when the ex-husband does not at all believe that the relationship is over, and begins to pursue his ex-wife, making ridiculous demands, claims, or harassing her with requests to “start all over again.” At the same time, no persuasion or explanation has any effect on the ex-husband, and he continues to behave as if the divorce never happened.

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As the fish decomposed, it emitted such unique odors that the ex-husband could not even sell the apartment. As a result, the ex-wife buys an apartment for next to nothing, and the husband leaves with his mistress, collecting all his belongings, including the ill-fated cornice. In fact, this story has a simple but deep subtext: the peculiarity of female revenge. The main difference between women and men, first of all, lies in a special way of mind and thinking.

In moments of rage and anger, men can hit, destroy, break.

A woman can harbor a grudge and carry it within herself for years, waiting for the right moment to take revenge. Why is this happening? A woman is physically weaker than a man. This weakness is most often expressed in social status.

How can a deceived wife deal with her ex-husband if she is an ordinary housewife and he is an influential businessman? That is why a woman never acts openly; she will plan for a long time, sort things out, and only when an opportunity arises will she strike. Divorce always entails many unresolved conflicts and hidden grievances.

In a fit of emotion, a woman begins to take revenge, but not always in the right ways. For example, after a divorce, almost all women make the same type of mistakes:

limit the ex-husband’s communication with the children – in fact, this makes it worse for the children;
they go to court, trying to take away all the property from the spouse - it won’t be possible to take everything away, the court will divide it according to the law;
they start new affairs, showing that they easily replaced their husband - the ex-husband, in principle, doesn’t care;
interfere in the personal life of their ex-husband, spy on him - this leads to new conflicts.

All these methods are quite banal.

You can really get on your ex-hubby’s nerves in the following ways:

to have an affair with his best friend, for the husband it will be a double betrayal;
sprinkle the car with bread crumbs, which will attract a flock of birds, and they, in turn, will “decorate” the car well;
register under the name of your ex-husband or his mistress on a dating site and distribute a phone number to all fans.

But the most effective way to take revenge on your ex-spouse is, of course, to prove that you are happy and successful without him.

Therefore, you need to not succumb to depression and live life to the fullest.

I called - good, paid alimony - thank you.

That's all. Don’t be interested in his life, his affairs, even though you are terribly curious. After a while, he himself will worry, do you really, really care? But before you start taking revenge, think: do you need this? Isn’t it best to let go of all grievances and build a new life where there is no place for revenge.

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And it doesn’t matter whether it’s love or hatred for another man. And as he came, so he will go. Hotline By the way, the heroine of detective novels Dasha Vasilyeva has quite tolerable and even cheerful relationships with ex-husbands, their wives, and mothers. Maybe that's how it should be? Unfortunately, this is not always possible... The concept of “ex-husband” appeared relatively recently.

Divorce became common in the twentieth century. But, having become a common occurrence, each individual has ceased to be a source of stress for all members of a collapsing family. And ex-spouses never become completely strangers and neutral people.

Especially if there are children. People's relationships after divorce are determined by many factors, just like their relationships in marriage.

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We lived a five-minute walk from each other - I had to rent an apartment next to Cousin's school - and the child did not see his father for six months. Then we accidentally ran into each other in the store, and he said that he had finally filed for divorce, and that the general power of attorney for the jeep had disappeared somewhere - maybe I have it lying around.

I asked if he wanted to take Kuzya for the weekend. He said that his cat had kittens and generally needed to be vacuumed. I realized that Kuzya is now also an ex.

I came to my rented apartment, sat down on the floor and began to sob. An hour later, my friend Olya arrived, picked me up from the floor, wiped away the puddle of tears and poured me some tea. I saw the tea and began to cry with renewed vigor.

Chatting my teeth on the cup, I repeated: “Olya, what about the potato cake?” My friend was puzzled by my impudence: she rushed at the first call, or rather, via SMS “I can’t get up,” and I demanded sweets, and promised to bring a whole cake next time.

You are lucky that I picked you up and tolerate you by my side!

Who needs you but me?” It is possible that, after spending two or three years in such an atmosphere, you will seriously believe in this and completely dissolve in serving your benefactor. Your spouse is jealous of you. Nowadays, women often become the main breadwinners in the family, have successful careers and achieve success in various areas of life.

If a man does not shine with talent, next to such a “smart, beautiful, Komsomol member” he feels humiliated and takes revenge for this. As best he can. It’s sad, but your husband has another woman.

With her, he relaxes, has a good time, gets complete freedom from everyday worries, and when he returns home, he compares his sweetheart with you. Naturally, not in your favor. One of the most alarming symptoms is the insults that a man lavishes on his significant other in public.

Mothers can always justify their actions by saying that the child should know the truth. But the truth, as you know, is different for everyone.

But there is also the other side of the coin - praise.

Not wanting to traumatize the child even more, mothers, for example, begin to praise the father excessively, which can also have negative consequences. Where is the mistake? Most often, by praising the father, mothers increase the risk that the child will put him on a pedestal and, as he grows up, will be disappointed. How so? After all, dad, according to mom, is a superhero, but he, it turns out, is an ordinary person.

Life after divorce: 12 main mistakes of ex-spouses

He loved and fell out of love - no one knows which is worse.

Don't rush to open it. Perhaps you have known him for a long time and think that you have no reason to be afraid: he is a decent person. This is where you are wrong! A freshly divorced man is as dangerous as a landslide, and does not look like himself, like a transforming robot in different guises. Forget everything you knew about him for a while.

Now there is a different person in front of you.

He is truly destroyed, confused, offended and can allow himself a lot of things that he did not allow himself before.

The ex-husband has to call, ask, and sometimes even persuade the woman to see the child. Tolerate refusals, think, suffer.

The fact that the child suffers is often, unfortunately, simply not taken into account.

There are often situations when a child turns into an object of trafficking: the father has to constantly fulfill certain conditions in order to obtain a meeting with the child. Where is the mistake? The woman does not understand that a man, no matter how good a father he is, will not tolerate this for long.

Over time, he will see the child less and less, which will only make things worse for the child himself. Divorce is rarely amicable. Most often these are scandals, quarrels and resentments. At the same time, it is very difficult to leave emotions and, as they say, think with a cool head.

Give reasons that you are not as bad as he sees, let him be ashamed of the rude words he said. Often, a complex husband will never change his behavior. It is simply convenient for him to humiliate his wife, because this way he feels more confident; you can call him an energy vampire who feeds on the life force of those who are next to him.

Do not stoop to retaliatory insults, look for ways to solve this problem, you cannot leave it to chance, this will only aggravate the situation and can complicate it even to the point of causing physical damage, which is unacceptable.

How to build a relationship with your ex-husband Attention

It’s good for her, which means it’s good for me.”

First Doctor

The reasons for the insults may be that the spouse has taken a mistress. He constantly finds fault with his wife with or without reason, tries to tease her, provoke her into conflict, and ruin her mood. By tormenting his soul mate every day, the husband provokes her to leave him, and thus “frees his hands” to start a new relationship. There are categories of women who allow themselves to be insulted and do not react in any way to the humiliation that comes from a man.

Usually in such families the wife looks inconspicuous, and the husband, on the contrary, is literally a handsome peacock. Another reason why a man can insult his wife is depending on her husband; such a woman tries not to react to such attacks from her husband and remains silent to all his unpleasant statements.

How to put a man in his place

The next time you don’t like something in a man’s behavior, calmly, gently, without shouting or swearing, tell him about your dissatisfaction, doing it with a smile, politely, without losing your self-esteem.

Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to express their dissatisfaction with dignity and put a man in his place. Women either silently swallow everything, or get angry and react aggressively.

We all act based on our own point of view and our own interests. Everyone is right in their own way, and this must be understood. The man is right because he is sure that he is right. But you are also right, you have your own point of view. When you realize that everyone is right from their own point of view, you will not be angry.

Your own confidence in your rightness helps you confidently express yourself and your dissatisfaction. By taking concrete steps, you establish yourself with a man as a woman who acts independently, guided by her own interests.

The difference between a confident woman and a victimized woman is that a confident woman is able to declare herself and her desires.

Wisdom in life is to act and not react to the actions of others. A woman who acts based on her goals and interests is her own boss. And a woman who reacts to the actions of others depends on those whose actions she reacts to.

The difference between a confident woman and a victimized woman is that the former acts, and the latter reacts to the actions of others.

To stop being a victim in a relationship with a man you need to:

Realize that you deserve better treatment.
Demand such an attitude with dignity, calmly and politely.
If, despite this, the man does not change his behavior, abandon the relationship with him.

For information on how to become a confident woman, see → here.

Good luck to you and see you soon on the pages of Samprosvetbyulleten!