Family education plays a huge role in the development of a child as an individual. In other words, this is the basis of the future. If this foundation is not laid correctly, serious, most often irreparable, consequences can occur. To avoid mistakes, you need to know what constitutes improper upbringing.
Lack of control or neglect - with such upbringing, parents do not pay enough attention to the child, since they are very busy with their own problems and affairs. As a result, the child is left alone, left to his own devices. He begins to look for ways to have fun. Such children often end up in bad company.
Overprotection – on the contrary, parents take too much care and watch over their child. At the same time, they always give strict instructions and numerous prohibitions. This leads to the child becoming indecisive and fearful. He loses his initiative. He cannot and does not know how to stand up for himself and his interests. Over time, resentment appears that others are allowed everything, but he has nothing. In adolescence, this can manifest itself in aggression against parents. Children begin to violate prohibitions on principle and often leave home.
“Cinderella” - this type of improper upbringing is characterized by an atmosphere of indifference and coldness, emotional indifference to the child. The child understands this as a lack of parental love. At the same time, you may not see it from the outside. The child always feels pretense. This affects him especially strongly if someone in the family is loved more.
Harsh upbringing is characterized by the fact that the child is punished for any offense. Because of this, he grows up in constant fear that as a result he will result in the same unjustified rigidity and embitterment.
Increased moral responsibility - from an early age, the child begins to be given the attitude that he must certainly meet the expectations of his parents. At the same time, he may be assigned overwhelming responsibilities. Such children grow up with unreasonable fear for their well-being and the well-being of those close to them.
Physical punishment is the most unacceptable method of family education. This kind of punishment causes mental and physical trauma, which ultimately changes behavior. This can manifest itself in difficult adaptation to people, loss of interest in learning, and the appearance of cruelty.
What is family?
To understand what the word family means, you need to look at this concept from three angles:
- The social aspect implies the family as a small unit, a unit of society. She has several tasks - procreation, providing for themselves and their life, and developing society. This is a view from the outside, this is how officials look at the family, how they write social programs for assistance, support, and so on.
- Family as one of the aspects of self-realization. From a psychological point of view, every adult needs a mate. By finding her, he receives not only a legally designated union, but also a reliable life partner, his support and psychological comfort. The family helps to survive, gives goals and motivates for achievement and development. This is a view from the inside, what every family member sees.
- Procreation and pedagogy. The content of this aspect implies that the family is needed to create and educate future generations. This is the best option for the full and effective development of a new personality.
What is a family - definition
This article will discuss precisely the third aspect, that is, the family education of a child, however, it is worth noting that without a harmonious understanding of the first two parts of the definition, the result may be unsuccessful. For example, in third world countries, the state does not properly approach the provision of assistance and support to the family as a unit of society. This results in many living in poverty, children not receiving an education and sometimes not enough food. The result is a high level of child crime and mortality, the spread of prostitution and drug addiction.
At the same time, even if the family has enough money, and they have the rights and opportunities for a normal life, however, there is an unhealthy atmosphere in it, parents constantly quarrel and offend each other, the child will most likely grow up with an impressive list of complexes and fears.
Functions of parents in relation to children
They live “soul to soul”.
40 years in perfect harmony, respect for such people
We often hear such an expression. I think this is what everyone should strive for in family relationships. Every family needs to gain a bright and good experience through the constant manifestation of care, support and love. This is the task of a person in this life.
There is such a commandment: honor your father and mother, because this is the basis of the family. If there is no respect, no care and no attention to your parents, all this will affect the family, and even the children. What is the basis of a healthy and strong family? And this is a relationship at the Soul level. Sometimes they say about people: “They live in perfect harmony” - this is a manifestation of respect, support and love for each other.
Any family that wants to be prosperous in every sense of the word must be built on love and mutual respect. When a person simply loves and shows care without demanding anything in return, spiritual unity occurs through such a manifestation of the Soul.
And such a family helps a person develop, gain bright positive experience and create spiritual matter of light in the Soul - this is exactly what a person was born for on this Earth.
What does family education mean?
Each member of any family is a separate person with his own character and rules of life.
Family education involves a unique combination of different people who strive to create a system of rules and conditions (read: social and psychological frameworks), skills that the child must adopt and master.
The advantages of full-fledged family education:
- A child raised in a family has examples of various social roles, for example, what it means to be a mother or a father, a boss or a subordinate, and so on. Children actively learn from examples, therefore, the presence of positive examples allows them to expand their horizons and improve their personality.
- Economic security of the child. Adults strive to provide their offspring with everything necessary for full growth and development.
- Psychological support and help from loved ones becomes a support in the development of a child from a very young age until adulthood. The influence of the family team builds confidence outside the home.
- A child raised in a family has his own “roots”, a place in the world. He is familiar with his culture, the traditions of his people or a narrower community, has specific everyday skills and habits, and knows his place in society.
- A child in a family receives moral guidelines, education, life skills, and learns to appreciate and understand himself and his “I.”
Composition of family education
Difficulties of education and problems faced by family pedagogy that are present in families:
- How many people have so many opinions? Different relatives can teach opposite things and create logical dissonance.
- The family may put undue pressure on the child's personality, suppressing him and his life interests.
- Problems between adults often have a negative impact on raising children.
Each family is a special case, so it is impossible to give an accurate and comprehensive general description of family education.
Advice: When communicating with a child from a very young age, you should often ask what he thinks about the people around him.
Prosperous family - signs
For example, if a child describes his father as a man who smokes cigarettes and blows funny rings out of them, you can expect that the child perceives this bad habit as fun and will try to smoke himself in the future. If you cannot or want to quit cigarettes, you should at least not do it in front of your child.
The fact is that children's images are very powerful. Even after many years, an adult may understand that it is harmful, bad, stupid, but the childish image that has settled in the subconscious will constantly repeat one thing - smoking is funny and fun, dad liked it, which means I like it too.
Asocial family - characteristics
From a very young age, you can find out such information from drawings. If every picture of the baby shows a dad with a cigarette, this is a bad sign.
The main principle of family education
Pedagogy in the family is primarily based on a kind and calm attitude towards the child. Parents should be merciful and benevolent in any situation. In infancy, children greatly irritate their parents with constant crying, but a harsh and negative attitude greatly affects their psyche. It is very important that mom and dad are always in a good and calm mood from the first days of life with the child.
Next, the child’s task is to explore the world and make the maximum number of mistakes in the available space. The baby is not trying to harm or enrage the parents. He is simply interested in everything and the task of those around him is to gently and gently correct him, not to shout or punish him for minor offenses.
The main tasks of family education
The thirst for immediate education should be expressed not in aggression, but in affection and understanding.
The older the child is, the more he will need the approval and support of his parents. If he understands that seven will always forgive, support and advise, he will grow up to be a confident and full-fledged person, and will be able to easily deal with emerging problems in the future, trust and communicate with people.
An important conclusion: the main content of family education is the power of parental love. They must forgive and support the child in any situation, be loyal to his mistakes and failures.
Family parenting styles
Other principles of family education
The principles of family education include:
- Giving the child a separate role in the family. He should feel like a full participant. For example, take him to family council meetings.
- Maximum trust. Parents should build the most trusting relationships in which the child can easily share any problem and not expect judgment.
- Adults should set the child up for optimism in life, express thoughts that will inspire him that life in general is good and pleasant. Children are susceptible and any negativity can greatly undermine their psyche.
- Parents must make their demands consistent. You cannot give a child tasks that cannot be completed; adults must slowly but confidently develop a skill or thought from “a” to “z” without skipping and without getting confused in their own judgments.
- It is important to create an atmosphere for upbringing in a family in which a child can always receive an answer and count on all possible help and support. At the same time, it is important that parents do not do work for the child that he can already do himself (even if he still does it poorly).
- It is necessary to categorically exclude physical interference, and especially violence, in raising a child.
- Each family member, even the smallest, has the right to their own personal space. To raise a full-fledged personality, you need to give the child the opportunity to shape his own world without interfering in it.
Domestic violence creates frightened or antisocial people.
Such principles can be listed for quite a long time. Their main content is to love the child first, and then educate, and not vice versa.
The role of the family in raising preschool children.
Each parent sees in their children their continuation, the realization of certain attitudes or ideals. And it is very difficult to retreat from them.
The first task of parents is to find a common solution and convince each other. If a compromise has to be made, it is imperative that the basic requirements of the parties are satisfied. When one parent makes a decision, he must remember the position of the other.
The second task is to make sure that the child does not see contradictions in the positions of the parents, i.e. It is better to discuss these issues without him.
Children quickly “grasp” what is said and quite easily maneuver between their parents, seeking momentary benefits (usually in the direction of laziness, poor studies, disobedience, etc.).
When making a decision, parents should put in the first place not their own views, but what will be more useful for the child.
In communication, adults and children develop the following principles of communication:
1) Acceptance of the child, i.e. the child is accepted for who he is.
2) Empathy (sympathy) - an adult looks at problems through the eyes of a child and accepts his position.
3) Congruence. It assumes an adequate attitude on the part of an adult to what is happening.
Parents may love a child for no reason, despite the fact that he is ugly, not smart, and neighbors complain about him. The child is accepted for who he is. (Unconditional love)
Perhaps parents love it when the child meets their expectations. when he studies and behaves well. but if the child does not satisfy those needs, then the child is, as it were, rejected, the attitude changes for the worse. This brings significant difficulties, the child is not confident in his parents, he does not feel the emotional security that should be there from infancy. (conditional love)
The child may not be accepted by the parents at all. He is indifferent to them and may even be rejected by them (for example, a family of alcoholics). But maybe in a prosperous family (for example, he was not long-awaited, there were serious problems, etc.) the parents do not necessarily realize this.
Thus, in order to maximize the positive and minimize the negative influence of the family on the upbringing of a child, it is necessary to remember intra-family psychological factors that have educational significance:
— Take an active part in family life; - Always find time to talk with your child; — Take an interest in the child’s problems, delve into all the difficulties that arise in his life and help develop his skills and talents; - Do not put any pressure on the child, thereby helping him make his own decisions; - Have an idea of the different stages in a child’s life; — Respect the child’s right to his own opinion; - Be able to restrain possessive instincts and treat the child as an equal partner who simply has less life experience; — Respect the desire of all other family members to pursue a career and self-improvement.
