Do you often look other people in the eyes? How about them? Looking into the eyes allows you to establish mutual understanding, recognize lies, fall in love or fall in love with yourself. Former FBI agent Jack Schafer, in the book “Turn on Charm Using the Special Services Method,” tells how to become charming, achieve your goals and change your life.
How to send a friendly signal
Making the right eye contact will help you create a favorable impression of yourself as someone who can be perceived as a potential friend.
Select the person you want to send a friendly signal to and look into their eyes for one second. You should not look longer, it will be perceived as aggression, that is, as a hostile signal. Prolonged eye contact in the first stages of acquaintance, especially on a date, is an invasion of a person’s personal space.
End eye contact with a slight smile. If they answered you in kind, it means that you managed to arouse sympathy for yourself. If a person looks into your eyes, then looks away briefly, and then restores eye contact again, you can safely approach him and start communicating. He is interested in you and will be happy to communicate.
Long gaze into the eyes
In an unfamiliar environment, such as a crowd on the street, eye contact lasts only a fraction of a second, and most people avoid eye contact altogether. Prolonged gaze into the eyes usually conveys a strong emotion - it is a sign of either intimacy and sympathy, or hostility and aggressiveness. It can be so unpleasant that we usually avoid contact for more than a second or two.
A long, direct look into the eyes is an excellent means of establishing rapport.
This behavior should not be confused with the unceremonious habit of staring at strangers. Typically, when making eye contact, you look into your partner's eyes for no longer than a second, since looking longer will be perceived as a threat. By staring at a stranger, you are sending him a signal of hostility. However, when people know each other and like each other well, eye contact can last several seconds or longer. For example, lovers often look into each other's eyes for a long time. If you use the technique below, you can safely use prolonged eye contact to build better rapport with a stranger.
Once you make eye contact, continue looking into the person's eyes for a couple more seconds, gradually turning away from them, but maintaining focus. Seeing you turn away, the person will think that you have broken contact, so the glance will not be perceived as an unceremonious stare.
This technique will allow you to enhance the emotional impact of a friendly signal. Be careful: prolonged eye contact should not be used to prematurely become close to a stranger. Men often use this technique inappropriately and ruin potential relationships.
Engage your eyebrows
To enhance the impact of brief eye contact, add friendly eyebrow play. This means an instant raise of the eyebrows. When people make eye contact and raise their eyebrows, they are showing that they are not a threat to each other. Our brain subconsciously recognizes this signal. Having received it, we send a response nonverbal signal to our partner that they don’t have to be afraid of us, because we do not have hostile intentions.
Most people are not even aware of this gesture, do not notice how other people do it, and do not feel how they do it themselves, since it is almost always performed automatically and unconsciously. Try to observe for yourself people meeting for the first time in their lives, and, if possible, the development of their communication.
Pay attention to the pupils
Dilated pupils indicate increased interest. If you see a person you like, your pupils involuntarily dilate. The stronger the sympathy, the wider the pupil. Of course, this is a very transparent hint that you are attractive to someone, but it is not always easy to notice it in everyday life, therefore, the value of this friendly signal is very limited.
Pupil dilation is most noticeable in people with light eyes.
Dark-eyed people often look unusual because their pupils appear dilated all the time. The pupils dilate even in insufficiently bright light, so when assessing this physiological reaction one must be careful and careful.
A short-term effect of pupil dilation can be achieved by imagining that something really surprised you.
Don't roll your eyes
Rolling your eyes at another person is considered a hostile sign that interrupts and makes further interaction impossible. This tells the person that you think their behavior is stupid or unacceptable. If, for example, while in a large company, you hear someone, in your opinion, saying something stupid, you can roll your eyes theatrically in response. If the person concerned notices your movement, consider that a positive relationship in the future between you is impossible. However, it matters whether you know this person or not.
Watching someone roll or widen their eyes in meetings is a very entertaining experience, and it also helps you understand how people feel about different statements. If they do not share the speaker's opinion, they will often roll their eyes or widen their eyes when the speaker turns away or goes deeper into his notes. This nonverbal signal allows you to immediately identify those who disagree.
If, after saying something, you suddenly see someone roll their eyes, pay close attention to this person so that you can later try to convince him that your opinion deserves attention. Remember: don’t waste your energy convincing supporters who are already listening to you, leaning forward, nodding and smiling.
Smile with your eyes
If you smile only with your lips, your smile will look fake. But if you smile with just your eyes, even without your lips, you will look very charming. Wrinkles around the eyes are clear signs of a real smile.
The speaker always notices that he is not being listened to. The best way to let the other person know that you are listening is to maintain constant eye contact. This sends a friendly, nonverbal signal that further cements the bond of friendship.
It is not necessary to continuously look into the eyes of your interlocutor. It is enough to look at him two-thirds or three-quarters of the time he speaks. This is quite enough to achieve mutual understanding and convince the person that you are really interested in what he is saying.
With the help of your gaze you can become charming, achieve your goals and change your life.
Most importantly, let your mirror of the soul be full of sincerity and kindness.
Ecology of life. Observations by psychologists show that during personal contacts, interlocutors are not able to look at each other all the time, but only no more than 60% of the total time. However, the time of eye contact can go beyond these limits in two cases: among lovers and among aggressive people.
Observations by psychologists show that during personal contacts, interlocutors are not able to look at each other all the time, but only no more than 60% of the total time. However, the time of eye contact can go beyond these limits in two cases: among lovers and among aggressive people. Therefore, if an unfamiliar person looks at you for a long time and intently, most often this indicates hidden aggression.
The duration of visual contact depends on the distance between the interlocutors. The greater the distance, the longer eye contacts are possible between them. Therefore, communication will be more effective if partners sit on opposite sides of the table - in this case, the increase in the distance between them will be compensated by an increase in the duration of eye contact.
Women look longer at those they like, and men look longer at those they like.
Observations show that women use direct gaze more often than men, and therefore they are less likely to perceive gaze as a threat. On the contrary, a woman considers direct gaze to be an expression of interest and desire to establish contact. Although women do not perceive all direct views of men favorably, much depends on the man himself.
You should not think that a direct gaze is a sign of honesty and openness.
A person who knows how to lie can fix his gaze on the eyes of his interlocutor, and also control his hands, not allowing them to come closer to his face. However, if the liar is not so trained, for example a child, then the deception can be easily recognized: his hands reach to his face, block his mouth and nose, and his eyes dart around.
The contraction and dilation of the pupils is not subject to consciousness, and therefore their reaction very clearly shows the partner’s interest in you.
Dilation of the pupils shows increased interest in you; their narrowing will indicate hostility. However, such phenomena must be observed in dynamics, because the size of the pupil also depends on the illumination. In bright sunshine, a person's pupils are narrow; in a dark room, the pupils dilate.
The theory of neurolinguistic programming states that by the movement of the interlocutor’s eyes, one can find out exactly what images are currently in a person’s mind and what he is doing at the moment: inventing or remembering.
If a partner looks up to the left or just up, it means he is immersed in visual memories. This look can be observed in a person answering the question “what does a hundred-ruble banknote look like?”
Looking upward to the right reveals visual construction. A man tries to imagine something he has never seen. For example, try to imagine your close friend in an astronaut suit.
Looking to the left side indicates auditory memories. For example, remember the sounds of a piano. If the gaze is directed to the right, this is a sign of auditory construction. For example, imagine how aliens talk.
Looking down to the left - internal conversation with yourself.
Looking down to the right or just down gives out kinesthetic ideas. For example, emotional and tactile. This is where your gaze is directed when you remember your feelings from the soft, warm bed in which you were lying.
For left-handed people the picture is completely opposite.
The ability to casually and discreetly observe the eyes of your interlocutor, as well as analyze the results, will provide you with invaluable assistance both in daily conversations and in the event of an important business conversation. published
The most important component of communication is gaze. It’s not without reason that they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. How much does eye contact really matter?
How the interaction between people goes depends on the look. For example, shy people reinforce their insecurity by carefully avoiding visual contact, while self-confident and rude people, on the contrary, look long and intently into the eyes of their interlocutor. With the help of this signaling device, people convey the necessary information more correctly and efficiently.
The most common interpretation of gaze states that when communicating, people look at each other approximately 30-40% of the time. If the contact lasts much less than one third of all communication, this can be expressed in feelings such as guilt, despondency, or simply indicate a lack of attention. In the case when visual interaction lasts longer, this may indicate a certain threat.
The duration of eye contact depends on how people relate to each other. On average, from 20 to 40% of the time there are standard glances with acquaintances and friends. For lovers, this figure is 2-3 times higher, from 60 to 80%, but professional managers, due to their high position, use eye contact from 80 to 100% of the time of all communication in order to strengthen their authority.
Varieties of duration of visual contact.
The classification was proposed by Argyll Cook in 1976.
- Looking into the eyes is more common when listening to information.
- With the help of a glance, as a rule, a nonverbal message is conveyed. This is something “between the lines” that may not be said, but is successfully sent. Thus, it is important for actors to convey a further thought to the viewer before it is voiced and indicated using gestures and playing with their eyes.
- Of course, the gaze is also responsible for the mood towards the interlocutor. If communication takes place in a positive atmosphere, people will form longer eye contact, otherwise it will be short.
- Gender differences also influence visual interaction. Yes exactly! Women tend to make more eye contact.
- Lovers' pupils dilate as they look at someone they are attracted to, expressing interest and excitement.
- Cultural differences also have an impact. For example, Italians are more hospitable and friendly, they look at their interlocutor more often than the traditionally reserved English, and the Japanese try to avoid eye contact, preferring the neck area.
- A long look often indicates leadership. The one who looks at the interlocutor longer usually takes a more dominant position than the one who looks less, which indicates humility.
Interesting fact: regarding girls, avoiding gaze can indicate not only shyness, but also coquetry. A representative of the fair sex seems to show her inaccessibility and at the same time attractiveness. Anthropologists even made an interesting conclusion, which is that the shade of flirtation seems to invite ritual pursuit, that is, further amorous courtship. The basis of this behavior is undoubtedly instinct, since blind ladies also resort to avoiding contact, although it would seem that they cannot absorb this through imitation.
Thus, the gaze can manifest itself for two purposes: as a tool for achieving goals or as a method of intimidation. A person, moving away from visual contact, either expresses social humility through his behavior, or fences himself off from close communication.
blinking
Our brain interprets another person's frequent blinking as a sign that they are looking for someone sexually attractive. This technique can be cleverly manipulated. You start blinking when communicating with a man, he starts blinking back - and now you stand and blink like two idiots, but this is if you look at it from the outside, because what is happening between you is real love chemistry. In general, if you like someone, “flat your eyelashes and take off,” as one well-known group sings.
ON TOPIC: How to seduce a man with gestures?
However, you should not think that a long stare without blinking is a manifestation of disinterest. When we are very passionate about something, our breath stops and we stop blinking so as not to miss a single moment of what is happening. Use these two techniques alternately - with and without blinking - to achieve maximum flirting results. The main thing is to try to blink naturally so that it doesn’t look like there’s a speck in your eye or you’re just naturally twitchy.
How to make effective eye contact?
What view can be called effective for achieving your goals? Usually people look at the bridge of the nose or at the point of the third eye located above it. However, according to psychologists, this is not the best option, since it can be regarded as uncomfortable and depressing. This view is focused because it is aimed only at a specific area and not at the whole picture. A defocused gaze is more effective.
Don't get me wrong. Both of these views are useful, but they are used depending on whether you need to concentrate your attention on details or position yourself not as an observer, but primarily as an interlocutor.
Thus, it is better to look at the face out of focus. Such contact is relaxed. At the same time, you can track facial expressions on your partner’s face and notice his emotions.
Tip: you should keep in mind the following areas - small and large triangles, A4 sheet.
- Small triangle
This is the connection between the left and right eyes, as well as the mouth. The effectiveness of considering this area is that the subtlest facial expressions are captured, for example, you can follow a person’s breathing.
- Big triangle
The head and shoulders form this area. Using it, you can analyze a person’s mental states through the tilt of the head, neck height and shoulder movements.
- A4 sheet
The optimal sphere for creating visual contact. Mentally place a sheet in front of the person in a vertical position, which will include the eyes, nasal cavity, neck and shoulders.
Pause and return
When you scan with your gaze a person who does not ultimately arouse your interest, you no longer return to him, switching your attention to someone else. And the person you scanned keeps track of this. Therefore, if you want to make it clear that you are interested, you first need to lock eyes with the person for 4.5 seconds, then, as if guiltily, lower your eyes, and after 10-15 seconds look again at the person you like. If a man is used to active actions, such a small game of staring will be enough for him to head in your direction.
RELATED: 10 ways to seduce a man
Typology of views
- Formal -
responsible for the business atmosphere. Aimed at the forehead. - Secular -
promotes the creation of non-stressful communication. Aimed below the other person's eyes - Intimate -
expresses people's interest in each other. Aimed at the neck area, from the chest to the eyes. - On top of the glasses -
shows a critical, evaluative attitude. Such a gaze has a negative impact on the interlocutor, who, in turn, tends to distance himself from the dialogue, for example, by crossing his arms over his chest or crossing his legs. - A sideways glance
indicates caution, which can be associated with tension and suspicion (in tandem with frowning eyebrows or downturned corners of the lips) or, conversely, with interest (subject to slightly raised eyebrows or a smile). - “Empty” -
can speak of embarrassment, shyness, bashfulness and indicate a lack of knowledge of the information necessary in the situation. - “Doggy” -
with an admission of guilt, a look from bottom to top may indicate secrecy, deceit, or discreet peeping.
Now you understand how much a look means. It can open up depths that you never even imagined!
Want to know more? Read about
Sesame Street / Children's Television Workshop (CTW), 1969
Japanese scientists have proposed an explanation for why people find it difficult to keep eye contact with their interlocutor during a conversation. According to them, people need to look away in order to avoid cognitive overload. Article published in Cognition
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Constantly looking at another person during a conversation is notoriously difficult. Observations show that despite the importance of eye contact in communication, people often look away when they are talking to someone. Sometimes this can be explained by boredom, fear, or the fact that staring may seem strange to the interlocutor, but there are times when we look away for no apparent reason. The authors of the new paper suggested that this is because maintaining eye contact uses the same cognitive resources as verbal communication, and at some point it becomes difficult for the brain to perform both tasks at the same time.
In order to test their hypothesis, scientists set up an experiment. They asked 26 volunteers to play association games. Study participants had to choose a suitable verb for a noun, for example, “sky - fly.” All the words varied in difficulty: some nouns were easy to match due to the obviousness of the options, while others, such as “list,” were not. At the same time, study participants had to look into the eyes of another person, whose face was shown on a computer monitor. At the same time, the virtual “interlocutor” sometimes looked directly at the volunteer, and sometimes to the side, giving him the opportunity to look away. At this time, a special sensor tracked the subject's eye movements and recorded data.
It turned out that when people looked away, they matched verbs to complex nouns faster than when they maintained direct eye contact. However, no such difference was observed when it was necessary to come up with an association for a simple word.
The authors of the work do not give a clear explanation for the results of the study, but they suggest that when selecting verbs and maintaining gaze, brain resources common to the two processes are used, and when performing complex tasks, something like cognitive overload occurs. However, this is difficult to judge without magnetic resonance imaging.
Recently, psychologists determined the threshold of discomfort during eye contact between people. On average, people who are not in a romantic relationship look at each other for about 3.3 seconds before feeling awkward.
Kristina Ulasovich
Eye contact—who we look at and how long we look at—can have a much greater impact than our words. The eyes are the messengers of the soul. We can “keep our eyes open”, we are “eye to eye” with some, but we prefer to “close our eyes” to others. Some people are “more than meets the eye”, some we cherish as the “apple of our eye”, some we “look up to”. We can make a decision “without blinking an eye.”
We can read emotions quite accurately just by looking into the eyes, which can make talking to people wearing sunglasses somewhat problematic since there is no eye contact. Where, when and how we look at others are part of the phenomenon of gaze, one of our most important and primitive means of communication. Eye contact plays a crucial role in conversation. Looking at another person is our way of receiving feedback on specific points. Gaze is also used as a timing signal. People tend to look for glances at the end of statements: this gives them feedback and control over the conversation. Eye contact is used to encourage and persuade all human beings. For example, we know that gaze can suggest interaction when we look at another person from across the room. Returning the gaze is usually interpreted as acceptance of the invitation, while looking away is a refusal. We deal with embarrassment when looking away; this prevents further conversation. Or we are ignored and punished simply by not looking in our direction. There is more mutual eye contact between friends than other people, and an open gaze from a beholder is widely interpreted as a positive attitude. People who seek eye contact during a conversation are seen not only as being exceptionally friendly, but also as being more truthful and serious. So, sellers know that they need to look every buyer in the eye. The cause and effect of pupil dilation is especially interesting because it is one of the features that is not recognized during communication. Let's take this example: men were shown two identical photographs of a woman, the only difference being that in one of them her pupil size was artificially enlarged and was twice its natural size. When asked to rate which photo was more attractive, 60-80% chose the photo with falsely dilated pupils. However, if you ask them to show how the photographs differ, very few will be able to detect pupil dilation; instead they indicate the condition of the skin, hair texture, lips or face shape. Pupils dilate for various reasons. In bright light they shrink; in the dim light they expand. But they also expand when people experience strong emotions, such as sexual arousal or rage. Moreover, people react to other people who they think are sexually interested in them. Women would drop extracts of the belladonna plant (which literally translates to beautiful woman) into their eyes to cause pupil dilation (and were found to have vision problems as a result). This can be a painful and dangerous process, but this method was considered worth it to attract men.
Wink
This technique is often associated with conspirators who have planned, say, some kind of prank. But if you catch the eye of a man interested in you at some party, hold it for 4.5 seconds, and then wink slowly and seductively, you can rest assured that he will have such a powerful erection that he hasn’t had since he was 15 years old...
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Factors that determine our eye contact:
Distance.
In elevators, we turn to face the door because we're standing too close, and reducing the distance between our gazes helps reduce discomfort when our personal space is violated.
The topic of conversation.
It is no coincidence that Catholic confessionals and psychiatric sofas are positioned in such a way as to try to reduce the amount of eye contact between the priest or doctor and the person. When people talk about shameful and annoying things or look inward, they feel better when they don't actually see others.
Interpersonal relationships.
People look at those they love more than others. Our pupils dilate more when we look at those we like. Gaze can also signal dominance: More powerful people stare longer. It should be taken into account that a direct gaze signals a threat, while averting the gaze is most likely a signal of appeasement.
Cooperation.
The degree to which people are willing to cooperate rather than compete is often conveyed through eye contact. The duration and type of gaze are important: the overall meaning of a prolonged gaze is that the person is interested and attentive. However, when combined with certain expressions, it can just as easily indicate threat.
Personality.
Extroverts look at their interlocutors more often and longer than introverts. Self-confident, flamboyant and socially dominant types of people are looked at more, while this is not typical for socially anxious individuals.
Appearance.
People look less at disabled people and less attractive people and vice versa.
Mental illness.
Many psychopathologies are associated with decreased eye contact, especially autism and paranoia. Schizophrenics and people suffering from depression tend to avoid gaze.
People disguise eye contact by wearing sunglasses or umbrellas. Blind people do this to show their blindness, but also because they can't look people in the eye. Security guards wear dark glasses to prevent possible suspects from seeing where they are looking. Traffic police use mirrored glasses to reduce the possibility of conflict: angry or nervous drivers may put off confrontation if they not only cannot see the police officers' eyes, but are also forced to see themselves through their eyes. They experience objective self-awareness, seeing themselves as objects without seeing those with whom they associate. Most of us know people who close their eyes while talking. This may mean that the person is bored or feels superior. They deny the speaker and the ability to receive and give feedback. The way rooms are furnished can maximize or minimize eye contact. How chairs, desks and other office paraphernalia are arranged can also be a clue to a person's personality and their preferred mode of communication. Because furniture placement can dictate how close you sit to each other, how easy it is to look into each other's eyes, the angle of eye contact, or the direction of your gaze. So, is our gaze a trivial non-verbal behavior or an important way of communicating, conscious and unconscious, with each other? How important do you think eye contact is?
What do certain gestures mean?
- Unbuttoning a jacket
This is a sign of openness that involves non-verbal communication. Situations when well-meaning people tend to unbutton or take off their jacket in front of their interlocutor are quite common. Practice shows that negotiators in loose clothes are more likely to find compromises than those who are buttoned up with all the buttons. It has been noticed that when making a positive decision, a person usually unclasps his fingers and instinctively pushes the tails of his jacket apart.
When partners realize that they have almost achieved a positive result in the issue under discussion or have worked fruitfully for the benefit of both parties to the negotiations, they tend to unbutton their jackets, straighten their legs and move closer to the edge of the chair in order to get closer to the table and, accordingly, to the opponents sitting opposite them. .
- Mistrust and secrecy
These gestures indicate the interlocutor's suspicion. That he doesn’t believe your words or is hiding something himself. In such situations, people involuntarily rub their chin, forehead or temples, and try to cover their face with their hands. Most often, such individuals look away so as not to look into their partner’s eyes. Another sign of secretive behavior is uncoordinated gestures. If the “aggressor” or your “victim” smiles, then his hostility is hidden behind the insincere smile.
- Protection
With defensive gestures, people show a sense of threat and danger. The most popular sign from this series is crossing the arms in the chest area. When speech is absent, nonverbal communication involves three characteristic situations, which we will describe below.
The usual crossing of arms is a standard gesture that symbolizes dissatisfaction or a defensive posture of the interlocutor. You should change your negotiation strategy, otherwise your opponent will try to avoid answering specific questions. In addition, this sign influences the position of others.
If one of the four participants in a conversation crosses his arms over his chest in defense, it is quite possible that everyone else will follow his example. Of course, in some cases this can be seen as self-confidence and serenity. But only if the conversation is favorable.
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It happens that in addition to crossing your arms, your opponent clenches his fists. This is a typical sign of aggression and hostility - the negotiator goes on the offensive. You need to slow down your speech and reduce the intensity of your gestures, intuitively inviting your interlocutor to moderate his ardor. If that doesn't work, change the topic of conversation.
Sometimes people criss-cross their shoulders with such force that their fingers, digging into their biceps, turn white. In this way, they restrain the negative emotions that arose in response to your proposal on the current issue. A similar gesture is used if one of the negotiators gets into a discussion, trying to impose their position as the only correct one. In addition to this pose is added a cold gaze with a squinted eye and a tense smile. This body language means that the person is, so to speak, on edge and urgently needs to change tactics in order to reduce tension and avoid conflict.
Quite popular in business circles are arms crossed over the chest with thumbs raised vertically. Nonverbal communication interprets this signal as “two in one”. It means denial (arms crossed) of your position plus your own superiority (hand position). The person using this technique often plays with their fingers or rocks slightly on their heels while standing. The contemptuous gesture of the thumb symbolizes ridicule and disrespect for the one at whom it is supposedly directed over the shoulder.
- Thinking, evaluation
Such gestures demonstrate the work of thought to solve a problem. Thoughtful facial expressions are often accompanied by hands supporting the cheeks. This body position indicates that the opponent is interested in something. You just have to recognize what he was so focused on.
- Tingling between the eyebrows
This is usually done with the eyes closed, which means greater concentration of the mind and intense work of thought. At the problem-solving stage, when the answer is already ready, the interlocutor rubs his chin. Many people accompany their thought process by squinting their eyes, as if looking at distant objects in search of the necessary solution.
- Doubt and indecision
The movements that nonverbal communication dictates to us in this case consist of stroking the side surface of the neck or the area under the earlobe with the index finger (usually 5-6 times). A sign of hesitation will be touching your nose and lightly scratching its tip.
- The desire to isolate yourself
If the interlocutor runs his fingers along the edge of the ear, this means that he does not want to hear your words. Tugging on the earlobe warns the speaker that the person has heard enough and also wants to state his position.
- The desire to leave the interlocutor
When your counterpart intends to stop the dialogue, he slowly (or purely mechanically) turns his body towards the door, pointing his legs towards the exit. The interlocutor seems to demonstrate that he needs to leave. There is another expressive gesture that speaks without words: a man demonstratively takes off his glasses and puts them in a case. Here you need to do something to attract the opponent’s attention or just let him leave. Continuing the conversation in the same spirit will not achieve results.
- Dragging out the conversation
Such gestures are often associated with glasses. To gain time to make a decision, the opponent does this: he takes off his glasses and puts them back on, and wipes the lenses. Once you notice this reaction to a question asked, just wait silently. The interlocutor, putting his glasses back on, shows that he needs to “look at the arguments” again.
- Walking from corner to corner
Another technique that offers people non-verbal communication. A person pacing around the room is sending you a signal - “you shouldn’t rush.” It is used to stall for time when solving complex problems. This is essentially a positive gesture. Don't distract the other person who is walking, otherwise you will interrupt his thoughts and prevent him from making a decision.
- Keep yourself in control
If a person is too upset and wants to curb his emotions, he grabs his wrists behind his back. This gesture should not be confused with the “lock your hands behind your back” position. An interesting fact: the greater the degree of anger, the higher the hand is raised from behind. This is where the phrase “pull yourself together” came from. This negative movement can hide nervousness, but an observant negotiator will sense this signal.
- Disapproval
In other words, these are gestures of repression that arise from unspoken opinions. Let's say the collection of invisible lint on clothing is an example of such a reaction. The participant in the conversation does not like everything that is happening, even if outwardly he agrees. The person who is looking for lint usually sits without looking at others or with his eyes on the floor. This is the most common way to show dissatisfaction.
- Willingness to leave
This body position indicates a desire to end the conversation. In this case, the body is tilted slightly forward, hands are on the knees or holding the seat of the chair. If you notice these movements in a conversation, it’s time to end it and be the first to say goodbye to your opponents. This way you will maintain your priority and maintain control over the situation.
Considering nonverbal communication (features of popular poses and gestures), it should be noted that there are a lot of other techniques that quite expressively convey the state of mind. For example, rubbing your palms reflects joyful anticipation. Intertwined fingers represent the collapse of hopes and the desire to hide one’s annoyance at what one hears.
