Strategy for a proper breakup
For every person, a breakup is a rather difficult life situation that requires a careful analysis of the causes and consequences.
It often happens that a couple breaks up rashly, in a fit of strong emotional emotions, and then, having cooled down, regrets it. And if they come together again, then the residue from the separation remains in the mind and haunts the future. Therefore, this issue must be approached with all seriousness. The reasons for deciding to end a relationship can be very different: betrayal of one of the partners, cooled feelings, different characters, life positions and interests, long separation and much more. In most cases, it makes no sense to continue a broken relationship, delay the breakup and simply waste precious time. Therefore, if thoughts about the end of the union with your partner do not leave you, you should think about how to properly and beautifully break up with a girl, without offending her. For most people, this is a very sensitive issue that requires a special approach that not everyone can find. Especially in such circumstances, a strong half of humanity is lost. Therefore, let’s turn to professional recommendations from psychologists on how to leave a girl so as not to offend her.
How to understand that it's time to break up
It is not always possible to understand in time that separation is inevitable. In such a situation it is necessary:
- Understand your feelings. You need to decide whether your partner has qualities that you have no desire to accept. But you shouldn’t focus only on the shortcomings. You need to find the pros that outweigh the cons. If this could not be done, then it is worth breaking up.
- Think about your partner. It is necessary to ensure that relationships are not built on control and manipulation.
- Analyze the relationship. This will help identify the main reason why thoughts of separation arose. Perhaps there are problems in the relationship that cannot be resolved.
As soon as the guy understands himself, he can take action. However, you should not leave on the spur of the moment. You need to wait for the right time and carefully consider your decision.
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How to ignore a girl to make you fall in love or push her away
How to break up with a girl when living together
If you are not just dating, but also living together for a long time, then the problem is complicated by various aspects. You have a common life, established preferences and interests, common habits and plans for the future. And it will be quite difficult to cut all this at the root. You need to think about where to move after the breakup. If your beloved lived on your territory, then make sure in advance that she had somewhere to go. Either she will return to her parents' house, or she can rent temporary housing. If you rented an apartment together, then pay for the next couple of months and move out yourself, leaving at least some support for your partner while she grieves. And it wouldn’t hurt to provide her with any feasible male help before leaving, so that the feeling of abandonment and loneliness is experienced with the least amount of force.
To break up with a girl without offense, sit down with her and explain the situation as calmly as possible: that you are different people, that there is no point in dragging on with a relationship that is becoming obsolete. Be polite and tactful. The person who lived side by side and loved you for so long deserves honesty and openness in such a difficult conversation. Prepare yourself for a response in advance. Get ready for the girl to cry, be hysterical, perhaps even break dishes and destroy everything around. Peacefully listen to accusations and persuasion, if any follow. Don't ignore her point of view. In principle, if she has also been thinking about ending the relationship for a long time, there will not be much of a problem.
Is it possible to remain friends after a breakup?
Not everyone can remain friends after the end of a relationship. And it’s not just that some are more dependent on the celestial constellations. If the breakup was calm, without accusations or quarrels, when you honestly told your ex-partner about the reasons for the breakup , then there is a chance to establish friendly relations after a while.
Don’t forget that most women will “replay” your meetings in their minds for a long time, remembering words of recognition and love. Let a couple of months pass and you will understand that not everyone can do this. But if your ex-girlfriend asks for help, don't reject her if you consider yourself her friend and responsible person.
How to break up with a girl who loves you very much?
You have been together for some time, but for various reasons your feelings may have cooled, and you do not see the point in continuing a relationship that is burdensome. At the same time, your companion sincerely treats you with trepidation. You can consider several possible options on how to beautifully leave the girl who loves you:
- Give her the opportunity to leave you herself. To do this, you will have to show all your worst sides, so that her vanity and pride will leap, and she will understand that you are not worthy of her. But keep in mind that this option will take time. Start annoying your ex-lover with your behavior and actions. For example, be rude in your words, point out her flaws in her appearance or figure. Start constantly criticizing her cooking. Make unflattering comments about her parents. Get drunk to the point of obscenity. In the circle of her friends, make stupid jokes and behave like a disgusting type (swear, pick your nose, scratch your butt, etc.). Stop spending money on her, while still buying something for yourself. Ignore when she tells you something, show inattention to her words, requests and problems. Always find more important things to do than spend time with your partner. Don't answer calls or messages from her. Give compliments to other young ladies in her presence. In general, do everything to push her away from you. So that your companion herself comes to the conclusion that she does not want to continue her relationship with such a terrible, unbearable type.
- There are times when you can turn to a friend for help and ask him to flirt with your girlfriend. He will have to spend a lot of time with her, show tenderness and care, and give compliments. And at this time you can demonstrate your not the best qualities in order to cause her dissatisfaction with you. When the young lady turns her attention to a new admirer, she will partially be distracted from you. Of course, you shouldn’t hope that she will immediately stop loving you and become inflamed with feelings for another young man, but in any case, she will feel needed by someone else. And, perhaps, she herself will offer to break up.
- Let's consider the option of how to leave a girl without offending her or denigrating yourself in the eyes of others. You shouldn’t put off the conversation, because most likely your companion has begun to notice changes in your behavior lately, which means she’s constantly thinking about it, getting nervous and worried. Therefore, by postponing an important conversation, you will only further undermine its emotional and volitional sphere. Arrange a meeting with your chosen one in some uncrowded place with which you do not have events and memories of your life together. Tell her sincerely about your feelings and your decision. At the same time, convince her that she is a very good and wonderful girl, worthy of happiness and mutual love with common interests and preferences. But don’t get carried away with compliments, otherwise you’ll convince yourself of the breakup or you’ll want farewell sex, and this should under no circumstances be done. Show your partner respect and don’t blame her for the fact that you stopped loving her, because it’s her own fault. Be prepared that the girl will ask you to give her another chance, promise to change and become perfect, beg you to stay. If she starts to cry, hug her and have pity. But not for long that she didn’t have the feeling that everything could be returned. Listen carefully to your ex-lover’s position and answer all questions honestly. Promise that if she needs anything, you will come to the rescue and help out. The main thing is to make it clear that there can be no return to the previous relationship, so that she does not harbor unrealistic hopes. Do not offer to remain friends, as it will be unbearably painful for her to watch your new relationship as a friend. A lot of time must pass for her feelings to subside and for her to perceive you adequately.
- If your chosen one begins to blackmail with suicide or revenge, and you know that she really has all the prerequisites for this, then you may have to jointly undergo a course of psychotherapy with professionals in this particular profile. You need to try as much as possible to avoid your partner’s depression, otherwise it will remain on your conscience.
Why did the girl suggest breaking up if nothing contributed to this?
What goes on in women’s heads is known only to them. Every day they spin around in the stream of their thoughts, twist one thing into another and subsequently become completely confused. Sometimes they don’t understand themselves, and they see the best way out of a dead-end situation, in their opinion, to simply run away from it, rather than try to solve it. If you know a little more about the “inner work” of a woman, about what is going on in her soul, you will be able to better understand and help untangle the bundle of thoughts that made her decide to leave.
Feminism and #MeToo have gone too far
Unconscious gap
The girl is a bundle of emotions. She lives by feelings. You, as her man, occupy the main place in delivering sensations. Imagine that you found a song that you really liked. You've lost count of the number of days you listen to her alone. And she doesn't get bored. Everything about it is perfect: sound, tempo, words. But how many people have you seen who listen to one song every day throughout their lives? Everything always comes to an end: a song that was once listened to “to hell” now evokes completely different emotions. I'm not trying to compare a song and a person, my goal is to convey that this is just the same inevitable process. It is not feelings that lead a person to the decision to separate, but a combination of processes. Therefore, blaming someone for this is a waste of time. Does the girl want to leave or break up temporarily? It’s best to disappear for an indefinite period from a girl’s life, give her time so that she understands that “you don’t have to delete a song from your playlist,” you can simply not plunge into it like into a pool.
Showy breakup
Very often a girl, in her words: “That’s it, I’m tired, I’m tired, let’s break up,” wants to attract your attention. Perhaps you were stuck at work, and all your thoughts were absorbed in how to clear things up. Therefore, at home I only had the strength to eat and go to bed. Agree, you also weren’t pleased if you were “abandoned.” Try to understand the girl. She probably had too many not-so-pleasant emotions, and she simply blurted them out in a fit of anger. Show sensitivity and pay attention to why the girl made such a decision.
A pause is not a break
If a girl suggests that you take a break from the relationship, don’t rush to panic. In most cases, a pause even has a beneficial effect on the development of further events. The girl, having understood herself and her feelings, will begin to understand how much she misses her loved one next to her. Give her time.
How to get rid of a girl?
Real break
No matter how hard it is to accept, love has an end and this is an indisputable fact. If a girl has accumulated a significant number of reasons for breaking up the relationship, you and she probably did something wrong as a couple. For example, did they not care enough, or maybe, on the contrary, they “suffocated” them too much with their care? Or they offended each other and seriously quarreled, etc. In this case, most likely, the breakup will benefit both.
Does the girl want to leave? But what if you are not ready to lose your soulmate? You can find a way out of any, even the most hopeless, at first glance, situation. Relationships can be saved if you do things right.
How to break up with a girl you love very much?
There are often situations when a break with someone for whom the heart has not yet cooled down is required. Perhaps she preferred another man, or her feelings have cooled, or you do not see a future together because of her imminent move to another city. Whatever the reasons, the thought cannot leave you: “how to properly break up with the girl I love, and how to forget her.” If it’s really hard from the realization that everything has to end, try not to break off the relationship right away, but take a break from it for a short period of time. During this moment, both try to rethink the situation and come to the most correct conclusion. If you decide that separation cannot be avoided, then take note of these tips on how to leave the girl you love with the least moral loss:
- Minimize meetings and contacts with your beloved. Try not to pick up the phone so that you are not tempted to call, write or endlessly look through her photos.
- Immerse yourself completely in various activities or meetings with friends in order to distract yourself as much as possible from sad thoughts about separation from your loved one.
- Constantly remind yourself of the reason and possible consequences of continuing an unhealthy relationship.
- When you realize that you are ready to talk, make an appointment and honestly and openly say that the relationship is over and you have no complaints. At the same time, be sure to voice the reasons that prompted you to make this difficult decision.
- Try to behave politely and calmly, without accusations or hysterics.
- Thank your partner for the invaluable experience and pleasant moments of your relationship.
- There is no need to arrange a romantic dinner with memories or farewell sex for this moment, since in the process you can retreat from your decision due to temporarily intensified feelings.
- After the conversation, confidently turn around and leave. And don't regret the choice you made. It’s better to devote your free time to yourself, self-development, relaxation, hobbies and finding a new good companion.
How to tell a girl about breaking up
Breaking up is always unpleasant and there are no ideal tips for a beautiful breakup with a girl. But if the decision has been made, then it is better to inform about it immediately, rather than stall for time. There are two ways to end a relationship:
- Direct, frank conversation requires tact and respect for your former companion. There is no need to break up in a fit of anger, anger, or when overwhelming emotions take precedence over reason. This is not the best way to discuss the situation. You need to calm down, carefully weigh everything, think it over, and then invite the girl to neutral territory where no one will interfere. Talk frankly and try to explain that the relationship between you has reached a dead end and there is no point in continuing it further.
When talking, do not allow accusations, reproaches, or anger. Don't put the blame for what happened on the girl. Do this to soften the resentment and pain that the girl experiences from being abandoned. Behave like a real man, tell your friend how wonderful she is and thank her for the time spent together and the happy days given.
- Writing a note, SMS message, letter is a simple way, but many women do not trust such messages and do not take them seriously. Sooner or later, an unpleasant conversation will still take place. If you want to part with your friend gracefully, give her a pleasant surprise. Give flowers or something as a keepsake, promise that in difficult times you will always come to her and help her.
What not to do
Along with recommendations on how to properly leave a girl, there are also things that are better not to do. For example, some guys believe that the more rudely they behave, the faster and more painless the conversation and subsequent goodbye will be for everyone. But in reality, all that remains is a damaged reputation, and instead of possible slight sadness, the girl may develop disgust and hatred.
Try to communicate within the framework of the culture, even if the reason for the breakup was the girl’s extremely inappropriate behavior. Don’t raise your voice trying to prove your point and don’t shift responsibility for what’s happening onto the girl.
You should not show your excessive indifference when organizing a meeting. Devote as much time as necessary to communication - free up these last minutes for a frank conversation. Do not make an appointment in very noisy places, and if you meet in the evening, then pay for a taxi to her home (you should not see her off, because this will add unnecessary stress).
Avoid appearing busy or uninterested - it's best to turn off your phone in advance or ask your friends not to disturb you. It would be exceptional bad manners to report a breakup while a group of friends or another girl is waiting for you. Don't end the relationship over text or over the phone. However, if you won’t be able to meet for a long time, but you don’t want to continue the relationship or keep your ex-passion in the dark, it’s better to choose a video call rather than a text message.
If you leave a girl with whom you lived together, then do not resolve housing issues unilaterally. It is better to break such meetings into several stages - first indicate your decision and agree on a meeting to jointly resolve all issues.