The wife works a lot: advice for workaholic husbands

• The woman is not happy with what she is talking about
• A woman wants love
• Woman wants attention
• What lies behind women's discontent in the end?

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Who hasn't encountered a woman's dissatisfaction? In almost any relationship, conflicts occur that are initiated by women, although later the culprits shout that men are to blame for everything. How to understand these women, especially the reasons for their dissatisfaction? The men's magazine masculino.ru will answer what is behind a woman's dissatisfaction.

Why do women always dislike something? Many men are already tired of the whining and whims of their partners. Some people resign themselves and simply do not pay attention to their wives’ criticism, while others simply do not start long-term relationships, which sooner or later lead to dissatisfaction on the part of the woman.

Men often cannot understand what women need from them. Some people no longer know how to solve a problem when there is everything in the house, the wife does not work, the husband brings money, but everything is not right for her. Psychologists are often faced with solving similar problems, which are actually quite easy to eliminate if you understand what is behind a woman’s dissatisfaction.

The woman is not happy with what she is talking about

A person lives for a long time with his parents and other people who teach him to hide his desires, not show his nature, and pretend. It is under such conditions that a person learns to lie, that is, to say what they want to hear from him, as well as to understate, that is, to hide his true desires and thoughts. Thus, the man faces the woman’s dissatisfaction for reasons other than those she points out.

Men often say that a woman herself does not know what she wants. And in most cases this is true. It’s rare that a woman will directly say about her desires, since they first need to be realized. Most of the ladies want something, but they quarrel for a completely different reason. And when emotions calm down, the woman understands what nonsense she was telling the man.

So, why is the woman crying and indignant again? It is difficult to understand without being directly in the situation itself. However, for the most part, women do not want what they say.

A quarrel is the unity of spouses

If spouses do not quarrel, then they have nothing to talk about. As it turns out, a quarrel is a simple confrontation of two opinions. And it becomes strange if the spouses have complete idyll and mutual understanding. Each partner lived their own unique, problematic life before meeting their soulmate. Each had their own disappointments and betrayals, which forced them to change their fairy-tale ideas about love and stop completely believing the opposite sex. Moreover, each person has his own worldview, which cannot completely coincide with the worldview of other people.

If spouses have different points of view and want to solve a problem together, then they quarrel. This is quite natural and normal, since initially each of the partners considers their opinion to be the only correct one. First, you want to defend your opinion, convince your loved one, make him think the same way as you. But then humility sets in, and the partners look for ways out of the situation, taking into account both opinions and sometimes limiting each other in some ways.

But how can you evaluate a situation when partners have opposing opinions, but absolutely do not try to come to a common decision? It turns out that each of them is going to solve the problem as they see fit, without the participation and cooperation of their other half. There is one problem, but each partner is trying to solve it in his own way. Thus, there is no quarrel, but the problem itself is not solved, since the partners each live in their own world.

According to statistics, couples in which there are no quarrels break up faster than those unions where men and women quarrel. This is not surprising, since a quarrel is the desire of partners to resolve the same issue together. And if there is no quarrel, this indicates that the partners do not care what their loved ones think about this, since they will solve the problem themselves. Acting alone, there is no cooperation. But relationships are precisely cooperation.

A woman wants love

So many women actually complain that they don't feel loved. And there are good reasons for this. Often men start relationships with women they do not love. They are simply beneficial or useful to them in some way. But there is no talk of love. A man can be in a relationship with a woman, but not love her. And the woman feels it perfectly.

It is difficult for the weaker sex to admit that they are not loved, so there are various reasons for irritation. A woman wants to throw out her indignation because a man doesn’t love her, so she finds various reasons for this:

• He returned late from work.
• He didn't give her flowers.
• He forgot that today marks six months since they were together.

You can find many reasons to express your emotions. A woman will find fault with everything if she internally feels that she is not loved. But in fact, she just wants to know that a man values ​​her very much.

How to fix this situation? Just ask a woman: “What should I do to make you calm down?” Surely you have not asked such a question. You were more likely to be indignant, make excuses, curse or attack in response, but you didn’t ask the woman: “Darling, I see you’re unhappy. What do you want me to do?". And here numerous possible answers can be given:

1. “Just hold me and tell me you love me.”
2. “Give me a bouquet of flowers to make me feel loved.”

In other words, if a woman asks you to show her some kind of gesture that demonstrates your love, then she simply does not have enough of it. She doesn't feel loved. And she is indignant because she is internally irritated and worried.

Men often forget that women need signs of love. Even over the years, this desire does not disappear. Men don't need all this. But this does not mean that women do not need it! Show your woman that you love her periodically. Various romantic gestures will help with this:

• Present.
• Romantic evenings.
• Joint vacation.
• Buying new things for a woman, etc.

If the wife is constantly dissatisfied with her husband or the role of the woman is the victim in the relationship

There are women for whom everything is constantly bad. And her husband is not what he should be, he doesn’t appreciate her, and the children are ungrateful, and her colleagues are all gossipers and tyrants. Such a woman communicates mainly only in the style of complaints. Where do such female victims come from? Is it possible to get out of this not very pleasant role? The situation is commented on by Regina Enakaeva, candidate of psychological sciences, head of the Shcherbinka district department of the Moscow Service for Psychological Assistance to the Population.

A distinctive feature of the “victim woman” is her constant habit of feeling sorry for herself. At the same time, she, as a rule, is not ready to accept responsibility for what happens to her. The victim always looks for the external culprit of his misfortunes: whether a person, an event, a circumstance, looking for in them the reason for everything that happens to him.

When the culprit is found, on the one hand, the soul of the “female victim” becomes calmer. But, on the other hand, she is doomed to continue to feel like a victim because, giving the initiative to other hands, she does not in any way try to influence the course of events or the cause of her misfortunes.

For example, a woman was beaten or insulted by her husband. This happens in family life. The woman who feels like a victim will cry, be offended, complain, but will do nothing to change the situation or fight back the rapist. This means that the likelihood that her husband will raise his hand against her again is very high. By her inaction and passive attitude towards what happened, the victim woman “allows” her husband to treat her this way.

Or another example, a female victim is often forced by her boss to work overtime and stay at work until late in the evening, while all other employees go home on time. If a woman agrees to this, does not defend her rights, does not seek constructive, effective support from others, but only complains to everyone about her “hopeless situation,” then most likely she will continue to receive additional tasks.

Only the woman who will accept responsibility for what happened, which means she will understand that only she herself can change something in her life. A woman who tries to understand the situation, understand the reason why this is happening to her, draw conclusions and incorporate them into her life experience, will be able to stop feeling like a victim and will not become a victim again.

If a person is able to accept and understand what happened to him, no matter how difficult the situation is, no matter what happens to him, the experience gained will always be useful and will help him not to repeat the mistake. But this cannot be done while being in the position of a victim, feeling like a victim.

For example, a woman who is regularly beaten by her husband is asked by the police to write a statement against him so that he can be punished to the fullest extent of the law. The female victim will cry, ask for help, call the police again, but will not write a statement or, if she does write, she will then take it back. She is afraid of her husband, but she is even more afraid of changing something in her life.

A woman who is responsible for herself and her actions will not be afraid to write a statement and give it to the police. She will be prepared for the fact that her husband may receive administrative or even criminal punishment. This is hard to go through, but this is her conscious decision, protecting her life and health, and very often, the life and health of her children.

An example here is the following situation, when a woman with young children leaves her husband because of the same beatings or because of his constant drunkenness. Some will say that this is the path of a weak person. In fact, this is a difficult decision that requires inner strength. It’s much easier to let everything take its course. “Still, he’s no good, pugnacious, drunk, but – this is my husband, what – no help and support in life,” she often thinks, although in fact, she has been going through life alone for a long time.

And then the woman decides not to inform on her husband. But at the same time, she must understand that, most likely, she will have to endure his beatings in the future. But this is already her conscious choice, and therefore she can no longer complain to everyone and everything, she has no right. In this case, she consciously takes on the role of a victim and must understand why she is doing this and what danger she is exposing herself to.

There is a third way, which also requires the woman to accept responsibility - to enter into negotiations with her husband, talk to him so that he never dares to raise his hand against her again. This path is the most difficult and not always possible. In order to follow it, you first need to stop feeling like a victim.

Woman wants attention

One of a woman's needs is attention. This can also be considered a manifestation of love. However, attention can also be of a different nature, when a woman wants to spend time with a man, do something together, talk about various topics.

At the beginning of a relationship, a woman does not experience a lack of attention to herself. The man is trying to win her over, so he tries to call and see each other as often as possible. However, when the relationship begins and the woman becomes conquered, the man returns to his usual activities. Now he simply lives with a woman and solves life’s problems.

This is where a woman begins to experience attention deficit when:

1. The man walks with friends, not with her.
2. Spends whole days at work rather than running home.
3. Does fishing, hunting or cars, rather than walking with her.

If a man pays attention to something and not to a woman, then his lady begins to hate what he does. Remember, women often hate friends, relatives, work and hobbies of men for one reason - they do not receive enough attention to their persons. If a man does not give a woman as much attention as she demands, then he gets an eternally dissatisfied woman.

Please your beloved with your attention. Sometimes it may seem as if attention cannot bring any joy, which is a grave mistake. For a woman, male courtship is as important as air, food, warmth or protection. A man's attention to his person gives a woman strength. She feels that you are thinking about her, you want to see her, she is interesting. This gives energy that pushes a woman to do good things towards a man.

That you should take at least half an hour to be alone with your woman? We are not talking about intimacy here. It’s about talking to your loved one, hugging, kissing. Even the simplest viewing of a movie in an embrace warms a woman’s soul. After this, she wants to love her man not only within herself, but also to pour out her feelings so that her beloved can see and feel it.

That you should pay a little attention to your beloved? Many quarrels and scandals in families occur due to the fact that men do not pay attention to their loved ones. They do not consider such a manifestation of love important. But that doesn't mean it doesn't matter to women either. The courtship of gentlemen, especially their loved ones, is important to ladies. Pay attention to your beloved, hug her, kiss her, tell her that you love her, and believe me, it will turn into a smile, care and kind words. Please a woman and she will do everything to please you.

Men who have their own business or have many pressing matters are faced with a situation where their beloved women complain about them that they do not pay attention to them. How can you pay attention to a woman if you are constantly busy with work? You understand the justification for your inattention to your beloved, trying to prove it to your lady. But despite her understanding, she still gets annoyed every time you don’t pay attention to her. How to get out of such a difficult situation?

There is no need to quit your job or business, and you do not intend to do so. You also shouldn’t forget about your beloved woman, because somewhere deep down in your soul you agree with her claims that you pay little attention to her. But how to combine two incompatible things, unless your affairs are common with your beloved?

Remember this: what matters to a woman is not the quantity, but the quality of your attention. In other words, what your beloved wants from you is not measured by time, but by completeness. Follow the following two points, and then you will not have to face the problem of being preoccupied with work and lack of attention to a woman:

1. Call your woman periodically throughout the day. Take 5 minutes per call to talk to your loved one. If you try, you will find small “windows” in your busy schedule. Call your woman while you are at work, talk to her for a maximum of 5 minutes, and do this 2-3 times during the day. Believe me, your woman will understand that despite your workload, you still think about her, which will calm her down.
2. When you're together, be focused on your woman. There is no need to think about work, worries or affairs. You most likely spend little time with your beloved anyway. Thus, give her the couple of hours when you are together, giving her all your attention. Talk about love, about what you missed, make love, discuss your personal issues. Forget about what doesn't concern your relationship. Believe me, these couple of hours will be exactly the time that will be enough for your woman to enjoy your company.

Understand that women do not want your attention because they are capricious. Of course, there are ladies who are capricious. But in this case, you should think about why you chose such a lady as your companion who does not understand that in addition to love relationships, you also need work, friends, and interesting things. If you have a relationship with a woman who is interested in something herself, works, hangs out with friends, then she understands the reasons for your busyness. But allow yourself to call her on the phone a couple of times a day, and then, in the evening, devote a couple of hours of your attention to her alone. After this, you will eliminate the problem that your woman is unhappy with the lack of your attention. These tips will help you resolve the issue.

You don't have to choose between work and the woman you love. Just while you are together, be focused only on your woman. While you're working, take five minutes to listen to your loved one's voice.

Self-realization at work and at home as a remedy for criticism

The husband's dissatisfaction can also be caused by the wrong state of affairs in the family. No matter what successes the spouses have achieved in the professional field, the family will be healthy only if the correct hierarchy is observed, where the role of leader remains with the husband. Children do not come in second, but only in third and subsequent places.

Unfortunately, not only the wife can lay claim to the position of head of the family. Sometimes he is encroached upon by overbearing parents who help the young family. This is also a violation of the natural order of things and entails a subtle but constant discontent.

Even if the head of the family, due to his busy work, is rarely able to take an active part in raising children, and only his wife is involved in the entire routine, then in strategic matters, his word should still be decisive. And the task of a wise wife is to provide her husband with complete and reliable information about family affairs. Take care of your family, protect it - especially while it is very young and fragile.

Also note that if the wife herself feels dissatisfied with herself, then even small requests (or even constructive comments) cause a storm of protest in her soul.
And a small word immediately turns into a big insult. Published: October 6, 2020 Did you like the article? Share with your friends: