Problem with my son. He doesn't want to be treated for depression. I’m very tired and I don’t know what’s wrong with him and what to do, I understand that time cannot be returned.

What to pay attention to

You don't need to be a professional psychologist to notice signs of depression in a loved one:

Sudden change in behavior. Not so long ago, you and your loved one were having fun together, but now he is no longer happy with life. He talks about his own failures and the injustice of this world.
Lack of concern for one's appearance. Your relative, friend or acquaintance is no longer interested in what he looks like. He doesn't take care of his hair, brush his teeth or shower.
The desire for loneliness. A previously active person who had many friends suddenly became withdrawn. Due to depression, he does not leave his home. Most of the time he sleeps or just lies on the sofa.
Indifference to what is happening around. Your loved one is no longer interested in anything. He does not strive for anything and does not believe that everything can change for the better.
Closedness. Your loved one used to be very sociable. He often smiled and talked about his plans. Now he avoids communication and does not come to meetings with friends.
Depressed emotions, depressed mood. Your relative, friend or acquaintance is consumed by guilt. He is irritable and dissatisfied with himself. He is tormented by emotions such as melancholy and despair.

Depression can occur in absolutely anyone. Even cheerful and energetic people with a strong character face this mental disorder. The most common causes of depression are constant failures, the loss of a loved one, and severe overwork.

Bipolar Disorder Communities: A Support Group to Synchronize Watches

Stills from the series “Modern Love”
Anne Hathaway's character in an episode of the series “Modern Love” burns with energy and radiates charm, and then suddenly cannot get out of bed due to overwhelming fatigue - the life of a person with bipolar disorder looks like a continuous drama. “I have heard the opinion that this is an exaggeration, romanticization,” says Alena Shibarshina, leader of the Moscow “Sunday BAR” support groups. – But it seems to me that in this film a lot of things are similar to the truth. I like the musical at the beginning, as an allegory of hypomania - it feels so good that everyone is dancing around, it seems that the whole world is open to you and everyone is your friend.”

The life of people suffering from bipolar disorder consists of alternating depressive states and euphoric elation. However, mood swings are familiar to many and it is often difficult to explain to others that the intensity of these swings can turn life into a nightmare. What to do if you suspect you have bipolar disorder?

“If a person without a diagnosis wants to attend a meeting, I say - you can come to the group and “synchronize watches”, see how similar your experience is to the experience of the participants,” says Alena. “But you can’t make a diagnosis based on this alone.” You definitely need to see a psychiatrist to make sure. In my practice, people who came with doubts were usually confirmed with either a diagnosis of bipolar disorder or other similar ones.”

Naturally, the main thing is to find a good specialist, but the problem is that this is quite difficult to do. Alena herself was unsuccessfully treated for chronic depression for seven years without a correct diagnosis. And since the treatment of bipolar disorder is completely different, with its own medications for each period, Alena managed to go into remission only when she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Such difficulties in diagnosis occur regularly and are associated with the fact that people see the problem in depression, but in a good state they do not see anything special and do not talk about it. “But the problem is not only depression,” says Alena, “the problem is also highs, which can turn into real mania and psychosis. People quit their jobs, take out loans, open a business, move to other cities, go on an active shopping spree, or make new dangerous connections - in general, there are all sorts of things that affect life.”

Previously, Alena worked in a management position with a lot of stress and an irregular schedule, since treatment did not help for a long time, she had to quit:

“When it got better, I realized that I would like to do something useful and I decided to lead a support group. Here people share their stories, tell how they found a doctor, how they first told their loved ones. First of all, those who have just been diagnosed need help, of course. Often they don’t know what to do about it, because our doctors sometimes don’t tell us anything - they just say, “Here’s the prescription, go.”

The Bipolar Association also helps people with bipolar disorder. Its members will be able to share with you contacts of specialists and advice on where to turn where you live. You can join the community on the VKontakte and Facebook pages.

You can also join Sunday BAR online meetings from anywhere in the country. Alena has compiled a list of support groups known to her in different regions. You can also open your own group, the NGO “Partnership of Equals” will help you with this for free.

If you have discovered that you have a bipolar disorder - in addition to the first steps - finding specialists and a circle of support, it is very important to constantly increase your awareness; knowledge eliminates many fears. All information about bipolar disorder is collected on the website, here you will find translated scientific articles and tests, stories about feature films on the topic of bipolar disorder, and much more.

“We need treatment now, and we’ll talk about the rest in 10 years.”

Features of the fight against depression in men

Most often, women experience mental illness, as they are very sensitive and emotional. Men are also susceptible to depression. Their psyche is less plastic than that of women. This is why it is much more difficult for men to help cope with the disorder.

If you notice signs of depression in your friend, boyfriend or husband, you should talk to him about it. A man must realize that he has a problem. If this does not happen, then he is unlikely to be able to get out of depression.

How to plan a conversation:

If you want to lift a loved one out of depression, then talk to him. It is unlikely that he will want to tell you about his problems, but you do not back down. Tell him that you want to help and that you are concerned about his condition.
Don't let your friend, boyfriend or husband change the subject. Be persistent.
Remember that the person you want to help is depressed and very vulnerable. Try not to put too much pressure on him. Be tactful.
When your friend, boyfriend or husband realizes that he is suffering from depression, ask him about the reason that led to the mental disorder. Depending on the answer, give advice.
Suggest seeking help from a psychologist. If your loved one is suicidal, do not leave him alone. Take him to the doctor immediately.

“House of Herbs” is a project of the RBOO “Emerald City”.
Photo by izumrud.moscow Unlike the diagnosis of “bipolar disorder,” the diagnosis of “schizophrenia” not only does not have a romantic connotation, but remains in the everyday imagination as frightening and repulsive as possible. Therefore, experts abandoned this term, replacing it with “schizophrenia spectrum disorders.” The key word here is “spectrum”, since these are diseases with a very different picture, from severe ones, requiring outpatient monitoring, to very mild ones, which practically do not interfere with leading a normal life.

And just like other mental disorders, this mental disorder can appear suddenly, invading the most successful and active life under the influence of stress, too much pressure at work and other factors.

Those who fall ill at an early age often have great problems with socialization and employment, even with successful treatment - all because of the stigma that haunts schizophrenia spectrum disorders. “We discharged the girls from our wonderful 15th department of PKB No. 15 - behind so many conversations, tears and consolations, crises and common victory, everyone is already family - and they leave as if into emptiness,” recalls Nadezhda Stepunina , psychiatrist, psychotherapist and the ideological inspirer of the "Emerald City". - Who will meet them? A doctor at a psychoneurological dispensary who has no time to talk? A school where God forbid I say that I was THERE... Fear for them pushed me to move to the outpatient service, to be on the other side, to help, without taking me away from life. Made me look for effective ways to help different kids, including those who don’t leave the house at all.”

Today the center helps teenagers and adults with mental disabilities adapt. Everyone who turns to the Emerald City for help is offered an individual scheme. We can talk about visiting a psychotherapist or group classes, art therapy and organizing leisure activities, as well as assistance in finding a job - it all depends on the person’s condition and his request.

One of the possible ways of adaptation is to become a “social coach” and help those who are currently worse off, share their experiences and make up for the lack of communication. “Trainers “grow” out of our patients,” explains Nadezhda Stepunina. “These guys know from their own experience what it’s like to be lonely and misunderstood, helpless, dependent, weak - and how to get out of it.”

How to help a friend?

Women facing depression need to have a frank conversation just like men. If you notice signs of a mental disorder in your friend, then talk to her. At the same time, communication should be unobtrusive.
Before talking, turn off your phone so as not to be distracted by calls. During the conversation, encourage your friend, ask her leading questions when there is awkward silence. At the end of the conversation, thank her for not being afraid to tell you about her problems.
Talk to your friend's relatives and close friends. By uniting, you can quickly get a woman out of depression (just don’t take pessimists and cynics into your team, who can only make the situation worse). Organize a group support session and invite a friend who is sick. The meeting and conversation will give her strength and instill confidence in her.
An effective weapon against mental illness is the ability to listen to your interlocutor. During a conversation with a friend, try not to be surprised by her words. Be prepared for the woman to tell you some terrible secrets. If you begin to criticize or evaluate her actions, she will distance herself and close herself off from you. Try to understand the actions taken and accept her point of view.
Never say words like “never mind” or “cheer up”. Such advice will not help, because often people in a depressed state consider the situations in which they find themselves hopeless. Better tell your friend that you will help her cope with difficulties and will always be there for her.
After the conversation, try to meet more often. If you don’t have free time, then call a friend, send her SMS messages or emails. With such actions you will show your loved one that you do not forget about him.
If your friend constantly stays at home, then try to lure her outside her home. Get her interested in something. For example, invite you to a comedy movie or suggest going to fitness or yoga together. You can just go for a walk in the fresh air.
Getting involved in art can play a positive role in getting rid of depression. Have your friend write a poem, a story, or try to draw a picture. Art will allow her to convey her emotions, feelings and mood, and perhaps she will discover new talents.
You can bring a person out of depression thanks to tactile contacts. Take your friend's hand more often. This will show her that you care about her. A sick woman will no longer feel unwanted and lonely.

Your friend may deny that she suffers from depression. In this case, do not put pressure on her. Just try to always be there. After some time, your friend will understand that you can be trusted. She will talk about her problems herself.

On the subject: 3 medicinal plants that will help with depression

Phrases "against"

You're not putting in enough effort to improve your condition.

What we hear: you are a lazy and irresponsible person who wants to suffer.

You're exaggerating, stop being dramatic

What we hear: your feelings are not important to me, I consider them stupid and unreasonable.

You have no reason to be depressed

What we hear: You only have the right to suffer for reasons that I understand.

You can't tell that you're depressed

What we hear: I don’t believe you feel bad.

This also includes “just go in for sports and start chatting with friends”, “smile already, as long as you can walk around with a sour face”, “you just want to attract attention”, “it’s all in your head”, “I had worse” and “stop whining and just be happy with what you have.”

Why does a man get offended by a woman?