How to forget the girl you love. Psychologist's advice

08/05/201612/11/2017 Nadezhda Plotnikova

Standard story: just yesterday there was a girl you loved next to you, who seemed to you an ideal candidate for the role of life partner and mother of future children. However, now you are alone - SHE is gone.

Maybe there is no love anymore, another guy has taken over her flighty heart, maybe you yourself are to blame for the breakup. But so far there is no strength to clarify the root cause, since mental suffering is becoming more and more intense.

All your thoughts now are only about how to forget the girl you love, and this is right, because only by getting rid of the fragments of past happiness can you prepare to meet new love.

How to forget the girl you love?

Every breakup is a severe emotional shock for the person left behind. During this period, everything around appears in a negative light, and it begins to seem that nothing good is waiting for you. Men and women experience breakups differently. Of course, one cannot say that it is easier for some of them, it’s just that if lovely ladies are allowed to suffer in public and cry into their friends’ vests, then the representatives of the stronger sex prefer to suffer in silence.

So, the breakup happened, the past cannot be returned, so you need to get used to these thoughts and continue to live. But how? To forget a girl, follow the following algorithm of actions:

1. Parting with the past.
2. Changing the attitude towards what is happening.
3. Cleansing thoughts.
4. Strengthening willpower.
5. Getting yourself in good physical shape.

First of all, let's say that it is impossible to get rid of feelings with the wave of a magic wand. You can fall in love at first sight, but it will take a long time to root out desire, love, passion from your heart.

Point No. 1. Parting with the past

Everything that connects you with your former lover must be thrown away, destroyed, forgotten, etc. To understand how to forget a girl who betrayed you, you need:

• get rid of objects belonging to or reminiscent of her - photos, gifts, clothes;
• do a full-scale cleaning of the room to clean everything, right down to the hair and the aroma of her perfume;
• delete all her pictures and SMS from her mobile phone, blacklist her phone number, and preferably change yours;
• block her email address, clear her friends on social networks and limit access to her own pages.

Similar actions must be performed regardless of the cause of the rupture. If you initiated the breakup, the measures taken will protect you from unwanted visits. If the girl announced the end of the relationship, such steps will help you come to terms with the loss faster.

Point No. 2. Change our attitude towards what happened

Try to follow the old wisdom that says that if it is impossible to change a situation, you need to change your attitude towards it. To forget a girl, you need to understand a simple fact: it was she who disappeared, but love (your ability to love) has not disappeared anywhere.

The time will come and you will give your emotions to someone who will not reject them, but, on the contrary, will accept them sincerely and with gratitude. Now let’s skip the situation with an electronic or paper message. It is worth saying thank you to the woman for all the good things you had with her, and apologizing if your behavior caused the breakup. This letter does not need to be sent; you write it not for HER, but for yourself.

Point No. 3. Clear thoughts

Having gotten rid of objects that remind you of her, writing her a farewell letter, you can begin to use techniques that, if they don’t get rid of your worries, will make them fade a little.

1. Imagine that the air you breathe in through your nose is the best thing in the world. These are changes, updates, a desire to build new relationships. The air coming out through the mouth removes everything negative, gets rid of the past and mistakes.
2. With each attack of the blues, try to distract yourself - for example, train your memory. Start memorizing poems, aphorisms, a foreign language. This will also bring real benefits.

Point No. 4. Strengthen willpower

How to forget a girl? Use self-hypnosis. Experts recommend imagining yourself in the role of a prisoner, shackled with heavy shackles. These shackles are feelings for a former lover, memories of her. Introduced? Now take in more air, feeling the strength pouring into you, and with an effort of will, break these shackles. Let them fall at your feet.

Point No. 5. Get yourself into better physical shape

Sports exercises and physical activity are another effective method to forget a girl. Try to scrape yourself out of bed, go jogging in the morning, followed by a contrast shower and other water treatments. This will invigorate you and give you strength for new achievements.

Will help you regain your self-confidence:

• push ups;
• rocking the press;
• pull-ups.

Regular exercise will soon bring not only balance, but also visible results. Agree that it is better to look for a new life partner with strong abs and toned arms.

Another question that worries men: how to forget the girl you love if you see her every day. This is perhaps the most unpleasant type of separation, since it is very difficult to observe the object of desire every day, but understand that you will never be together. What should I do? Take the following steps:

• completely ignore her, limiting yourself to short “hello-bye”;
• sign up for the gym (to regret the loss);
• don’t stay face-to-face;
• change jobs (if you are colleagues) or transfer to another department (if you study together).

Talk about a breakup

We, of course, live in a patriarchal society where masculine males do not suffer. And you don’t want to tell your friends that you’re hurt, sad and lonely, and what if they answer: “What are you talking about! You're a man! We hope you have understanding friends who don't subscribe to stereotypes about boys who don't cry. But if suddenly you still cannot overcome the barrier, go to a psychoanalyst. This is the very case when it is needed without regard to the presence of any diagnosis. Any emotional shock affects your psyche. And trying to ignore it, hush it up and wait until everything settles down and is forgotten will only make things worse for you. If you broke up because a girl cheated on you or cheated on you, this is a serious blow to your trust in other people, which will affect future relationships. Talk about feelings, thoughts, how you have changed, and this will help you get over the breakup easier and better understand for yourself what happened and how to prevent it from happening again.

Several methods on how to forget a girl

When answering the question of how to quickly forget the woman you love, you should understand that love is an extremely strong emotional attachment. If you find it difficult to leave your ex-lover alone, in addition to the general recommendations, you should follow other tips.

1. Think that it’s all over - you and SHE have parted forever, try to get used to this thought. Distract yourself every time if thoughts about your ex-girlfriend arise.
2. Think about the fact that attachment is associated more with the ideal image drawn in your imagination than with a specific person.
3. Try to pay attention to yourself, your loved one, and like yourself. In addition, you can finally figure out what you want and what you are striving for.
4. Enjoy all sorts of pleasant emotions from the rapidly passing minutes and days. Do something you love, come up with a hobby, maybe even an extreme one.
5. You are free? There's something in this! Try to find some positive aspects in your own independence and freedom. Now you are free to do as you want.
6. Work more, become a workaholic for a while. Work so hard that when you return home you only have energy left for dinner and sleep. Hard work is a good “cure” for worries and obsessive thoughts.
7. Even if you feel guilty for the collapse of the relationship, stop “pecking” yourself. A wise person is the one who noted that both partners are to blame for the breakdown of the relationship.

How to let go of the girl you love? Forget that she is so one and only. You are surrounded by a large number of equally (and even more) sweet and pretty young ladies. Start a new relationship.

Don't rush into a new relationship

When someone's house burns down, no one immediately starts building a new one in its place. The area is completely cleared, the foundation is restored, the ground around is strengthened, because it also suffers from fire, a new plan for the building is thought out to make it more resistant to fires and safer, and then they just build it. You are an even more complex and vulnerable structure than some burnt out shack. A new girlfriend will not help you forget your ex, because you cannot build anything on the ashes. You will inevitably compare this relationship with your previous ones, say something about the breakup or about your ex (and this will really irritate your current girlfriend), you will have problems with trust and emotional background. Most likely, another break awaits you, which will finally destroy your faith in yourself and humanity.

Watch yourself.

Even if you have been together for a hundred years, this does not give you the right to neglect yourself and not take care of your appearance.

Sweatpants and a stretched out tank top are not the best clothes to wear at home. A girl wants to see a neat and tidy man next to her.

Don't stop taking care of yourself and going to the gym. Watch your hairstyle and clothing style. Your things should always be clean and ironed.

Your girlfriend may be too sensitive to hint to you that you haven't been looking great lately.

Self-development.

As soon as you stop in your development and self-improvement, you can consider that you have already lost it.

Girls love promising men. Those who set goals for themselves and go towards them. The kind who don’t lie around on the couch drinking beer for days, but get up an hour earlier and go to the gym.

You should not sit in one position for five years, receiving a meager salary. Develop in terms of your career, reach new heights, change your field of activity if necessary.

Do everything so that you can be proud of yourself.

Don't forget about sports. Of course, your girlfriend doesn't love you for your looks. But, believe me, it will be much more pleasant for her to touch your athletic, pumped-up body than your beer belly.

Don’t lower the bar, keep all your promises, or don’t make them at all, don’t turn into a henpecked and amoeba.

Spend more time with your family

After a breakup, especially if the relationship was quite long and serious, you will miss love, attention and care. It's time to remember that no one will ever love you more than your mother. Buy a bouquet (we hope you do this all the time) and go visit. Better yet, invite your family to the theater or host them a dinner at your home. When we start dating someone, a new “family” comes to the fore. This is a normal and natural course of life, but partings remind us that “an old friend is better than two new ones.” And no one will support you the way your family will do it. And, immersed in family problems (probably some repairs are needed somewhere, your younger brother or nephew needs help at school, your mother’s car broke down, and the list goes on), you simply won’t have time to suffer.

Remember the changes.

When everything stays in one place, boredom sets in in a relationship.

You must become the source of changes that your girlfriend will certainly appreciate. Make sure that you are an example for her, so that she follows you, and you can teach her something.

Give her advice, show involvement in her life, don’t be afraid to change something radically. If something doesn’t work out for her, then there is no need to criticize. Try to find a way out of this situation together with her.

You should be an authority for her, a person with whom she is calm and not afraid of anything.

Change something in your life

This is the most radical advice that works great. You can find a new job - preferably a more creative one, which will distract you from sad thoughts, which involves meeting people so that your social circle changes. Or move to another city, and every restaurant, traffic light, asphalt slab and bench in the park will not remind you of bright days with your ex. Get a dog - it, of course, will not replace your girlfriend, but it will never deceive, betray or abandon you. And while you save wires, slippers and bags from the puppy, your worries will fade into the background. Buy or rent a new apartment. Change your car. Let this painful breakup motivate you to change your life and become cooler, and not condemn you to suffering and alcoholism.

Get on with your life.

If your social circle has shrunk beyond recognition, and you spend all your free time only with her, this is bad.

A man who has nothing but a girlfriend in his life quickly becomes boring.

There is nothing to talk about with him, he cannot bring anything new into the girl’s life, he does not develop and does not improve himself.

What is left of him in this case?

Never focus solely on a girl. Always find time for yourself, your friends, sports, and other hobbies. Your life should be full and varied.