TOP 20 tips on how to raise children correctly

It seems to expectant mothers that bearing and giving birth to a baby is the most difficult thing. In fact, raising a worthy person is much more difficult, because this is not taught in courses for future parents. Usually, mothers and fathers go to extremes: some thoroughly study specialized literature, attend training sessions with psychologists, and try to be ideal parents. Others, on the contrary, give complete freedom to children, because they themselves were raised on the street. It is advisable to stick to the golden mean: not to get hung up on upbringing, but also not to let go of the situation, so as not to take it to extreme measures.

Raising a one-year-old child

For a one-year-old child, upbringing is about laying out the basic character traits in him. It is for this reason that in order not to raise a lazy, greedy and evil person from a very early age, it is worth instilling in a child sociability, kindness, accuracy and hard work. In addition, the baby must certainly be able to share with adults or with other children, as well as appreciate the work of other people, in particular, take care of the things around him.

During the second year of life, the process of education is constant and painstaking care, as well as the systematic and persistent repetition of certain educational moments under careful control.

We should not forget about the existence of a certain balance between positive and negative qualities. That is, if enough attention is not paid to the cultivation of good traits, then negative ones will begin to manifest themselves more and more actively. It is precisely because of insufficient upbringing that the other, dark side of a child’s character begins to show, which can be expressed in selfishness, harmfulness, greed and even indifference.

Child education

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Twenty tips for parents on how to raise children to be worthy people who deserve respect

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Children who follow home rules and are raised with integrity are much more likely to succeed in both school and their future careers. This article offers ideas that can be implemented in any family.

1. Model examples of decency and decent behavior at home. The moral strength of one’s own example has the strongest influence and plays a decisive role in a child’s life. It is extremely important that people who are trying to influence a child's character in a positive way back up their words with actions.

2. Be clear about your own values. Tell your children where you stand on important issues. If we want our children to internalize the virtues we value, we must teach them what we believe and tell them why we believe it. There are countless opportunities in everyday life to engage children in conversations about morality.

3. Show respect for your spouse, children, and other family members. Parents who honor each other, share family responsibilities, and resolve their differences peacefully send a powerful message of respect to their child. If children are respected within the family, they are more likely to be respectful towards other people. Simply put, respect begets respect.

4. Model and teach good manners to your children. Make it a house rule that all family members show good manners. Good manners are the real golden rule in action. Whether we are talking about courtesy or other simple social skills, it is at home, in the family, that the roots of true care for other people are laid. And good manners are one of the components of such care.

5. Have family dinners without TV more often. Mealtime is a great time for parents to talk and listen to their children and, of course, strengthen family bonds. Whether it's home-cooked food or fast food, the most important ingredient in any meal is time spent together, time to foster a sense of belonging and caring for the family.

6. Plan as many family activities as possible. Involve children in planning. Family events that seem quite ordinary now will be remembered in the future as special and memorable pieces of family history. A father's "date" with his teenage daughter, a family picnic in the park, or a Sunday trip to the ice cream parlor - such pastimes are very important for strengthening the family.

7. Don't give children access to alcohol and drugs. Demonstrate appropriate behavior regarding alcohol and drug use. Despite intense peer pressure, adolescent angst, teenage temptation, and media messages that promote alcohol consumption, among other things, the family has the most powerful influence on whether a child will become a victim of addiction or not. Nowhere is the personal example of parents more important than in the area of ​​alcohol and drug use.

8. Plan family service projects and community activities. At the core of integrity is a sense of concern and concern for other people. There are numerous opportunities for family giving projects that even young children can participate in. Simple acts such as delivering food to a sick neighbor, helping an elderly person with chores, or collecting clothes and toys for orphans help youth feel the joy of helping others and develop a lifelong habit of giving.

9. Read books to your children and collect a good library at home. Great teachers have always used stories to teach, motivate, and inspire, and shared reading is an important part of passing on our culture's moral heritage from one generation to the next. At the same time, children's questions and comments on the stories they read provide parents with important information about their children's thoughts, beliefs and interests.

10. Limit your children's spending. Help children develop an appreciation for non-material rewards. In today's consumer culture, young people easily believe that image - wearing the "right" clothes, driving the "right" car, etc. - is the path to success and happiness. Parents can affirm their own values ​​by managing the family's financial resources wisely and by encouraging their children to use the resources entrusted to them wisely.

11. Discuss family holidays and their meaning. Hold family celebrations and observe family traditions. Abraham Lincoln once said that participation in national celebrations makes people feel "more affectionate to each other and more firmly connected with the country in which they live." By celebrating and celebrating family traditions, you not only develop feelings of affection and kinship with other family members, you also create a special kind of “glue” that binds us all together as individuals, family members and citizens.

12. Take advantage of learning opportunities. Use different situations to encourage family discussions about important issues. Some of the most effective lessons about character development can be learned from the daily life of a family. Parents' and children's interactions with each other and with others outside the home offer countless situations that can be used to teach children valuable lessons about responsibility, empathy, kindness, and compassion.

13. Distribute household responsibilities among all family members. Even if it's easier for you to clear the table, take out the trash, or load the dishwasher than to expect your child to do it, we have a responsibility to help children learn to balance their own needs and desires with the needs and desires of other family members—and, ultimately, other members of society. .

14. Give your children clear expectations of them and hold them accountable for their actions. Identifying reasonable limits and setting them accordingly makes parents the moral authority in their family and gives children a sense of security. Rules and restrictions make children understand that you care about them so that they are - or become - worthy people.

15. Keep your children busy with positive activities. Children and teenagers have amazing levels of energy and the challenge is to channel that energy into good activities such as sports, hobbies, music or other arts, youth groups such as Scouts for example. These activities promote altruism, caring and cooperation, and allow children to experience a sense of accomplishment.

16. Learn to say “no” firmly and stand your ground. It is natural that children - especially teenagers - go beyond what is permitted and question the authority of their parents. Despite the child's protests, loving parents must stand firm and prohibit the child from engaging in potentially dangerous activities.

17. Know where your children are, what they are doing and with whom. Adults must convey to children in a variety of ways that they care, their best expectations of them, and that adults take seriously the responsibility for setting, monitoring, monitoring, and monitoring behavioral standards. At the risk of being considered “old-fashioned,” insist on meeting with your children’s friends and their parents.

18. Avoid covering for your child and making excuses for his inappropriate behavior. Protecting children from the natural consequences of their actions will not teach them personal responsibility. It also undermines social norms if you let children know that they are somehow exempt from following the rules that govern other people's behavior.

19. Know what movies, shows and programs your children watch. Although there is excellent material to watch, the spread of pornographic and hateful content is rampant among young people. Teach your children responsible viewing habits by word and example. If you learn that your child is watching something inappropriate, be open about your feelings about it and discuss why the material offends your family's values.

20. Remember that you are an adult! Children don't need another playmate, but they desperately need a parent who will take care to set appropriate limits on the child's behavior and enforce them. Sometimes the ability to say, “My dad won't let me do this,” provides a way for children to avoid engaging in questionable activities.

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Related links:

  • ▶ Tips for raising caring children
  • ▶ Empathy: how to lay its foundations in children
  • ▶ What is the importance of self-discipline for a child?
  • ▶ Myths about the moral education of children
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  • ▶ More articles about raising children

Child development 12/29/2015

How to raise a child after 1 year

The main upbringing of a child after he reaches one year of age comes down to monitoring actions and behavior, which all adults around the baby should do. Indeed, in order to bring up the best qualities in a child, parents often even have to step over themselves in some ways. So, if parents often quarrel among themselves, as well as with other adults, then the chances that their child will grow up conflict-free are also negligible.

An important point in how to raise a one-year-old child is his physical education. After all, at this age children are just starting to walk, but they are not yet able to do exercises on their own. However, parents need to accustom their baby to daily warm-up, which will only become more difficult over time. At the end of the morning exercises, which can consist of many simple and interesting exercises suitable for the child’s age, it is worth taking the baby to the shower. With daily repetition of such actions, the child will not only have a good appetite, but also a cheerful mood.

Parental errors

Adults often make mistakes, and that's okay, but some mistakes in raising children can lead to serious problems. Here are some of them.

Overprotection and control . Some parents control every step of the child, do not give him the opportunity to do something on his own, and make decisions for him. When the child grows up, he will not be fit for adult life. Mom and dad will decide everything for him until he is very old. Surely, each of us has met such men and women who, despite their age, run to their parents on any issue. Usually they cannot create their own family, because the partner does not need an adult child for whom everything needs to be decided.

Parents have different views on education . A husband and wife must agree on how they will raise their daughter or son. For example, a father scolds a boy for throwing food, and a mother sighs with emotion: “It’s a child, let him do what he wants.” As a result, the boy ignores any prohibitions and does not pay attention to his father’s words. Need I say that the boy will grow up to be a disobedient, capricious, problem child? The task of parents is to be a cohesive team and adhere to common principles and rules in order to raise a worthy person. It is not always possible for a husband and wife to come to a consensus, but there is no point in sorting things out in front of a child. It is better to discuss all controversial issues in private and find a suitable solution.

Failure to keep promises . Adults often do not keep their words, and this does not always happen consciously. Perhaps mom or dad said it without thinking, and then forgot what they promised. For children, a promise plays an important role, especially if it was given by one of the parents. If dad promised to fly a kite this weekend, then he must fulfill his promise. For kids, parents are the most authoritative people who do not waste words. In order not to lose your own importance in the eyes of a little person, you must always keep your promises. Looking at the parents, the child develops a sense of responsibility, he begins to understand what reliability, trust, and diligence are.

Features of raising boys

Upon reaching the age of 12 months, clear differences begin to be seen in the upbringing of girls and boys. Is this how to raise a 1 year old boy? It is worth noting that the development from boy to husband goes through three successive stages. In the first of them, the baby has a very developed connection with his mother. At this time, the boy needs a demonstration of great love, as well as a feeling of comfort and security.

At the same time, the boys themselves are much less susceptible to their mother’s touches. They not only grow faster, but also play more actively, but at the same time they are most sensitive to separation from their mother. Therefore, in raising a boy, it is important that before he reaches the age of three, his mother spends a sufficient amount of time with him. Otherwise, such a lack of communication can lead to neurosis and aggressiveness.

Another important point is that the father must also show his love for the child every day, demonstrate attention to him by participating in his activities. No matter how busy a father is, he must find time to raise his child.

Features of raising a child from 1 year to 3 years

Raising a one-and-a-half-year-old child requires sufficient attention to him and a timely reaction on the part of the parents to certain actions of the baby. It is definitely impossible to brush aside the incoming questions, no matter how many there may be. And the answers to them should be accessible and understandable. As the child grows up, more and more attention will have to be paid to issues of his safety, since he does not yet understand the dangers of heights, hot and sharp objects.

As he approaches the three-year mark, the baby will show more and more independence and strive to do almost everything himself. Parents should not interfere with this process; on the contrary, any impulses towards independence should be encouraged.

Raising a 1-year-old child is not an easy task. After all, you need to not miss anything. In particular, parents should remember the importance of instilling in their child cultural and hygienic skills, instilling in him a culture of activity and nurturing a culture of communication, both in contacts with adults and with peers.

One way or another, children, first of all, follow the example of their parents, so it’s worth starting raising a child with self-control.

From 18 months to 2 years: naming feelings and limiting desires

Eighteen months is a key point in brain development. It was at this time that parents exclaim: “Oh, how he has unexpectedly grown!” He recognizes the words "I", "me" and "my" and begins sentences with his name ("Henry will do it").

His brain development finally allows him to gain some self-control (with your help, of course). If you have constantly taught him what behavior is unacceptable, by then he will have learned to show restraint, but not always correctly. You can say, “Wait a minute, I'll get you this toy,” and he will actually wait. If you haven't already done so, start setting some boundaries now.

It is very important to plan everything in advance, to know your child well, how patient he is and what he is capable of. Remember also that self-control is a skill that continues to develop. When children at this age want something, it is difficult for them to make themselves wait, to hold back from something, or to give something away. But you have the opportunity to recognize the child’s feelings and desires and limit them to some extent.

For example, if all the children in the group were offered cookies, and your child grabbed several of them at once, then an objective mother would never say to herself at that moment: “Other mothers may think that I raised a little glutton. I'll die of shame. But maybe they won’t notice that Zach took two cookies for himself.” Instead, she will respect her child's feelings (“I see that you want to take two cookies...”). And at the same time, she will also establish a rule (“But everyone takes only one”) and reinforce this rule (“Then put one back”).

Remember that you must help your child cope with strong emotions that he cannot cope with on his own. But if he just can’t calm down, don’t leave him with the words that he is “bad” or that “this is not a child, but a punishment.” Have pity on him: “We need to try so that you learn to control yourself.”

8 Rules of the Game I found this wonderful list on the Internet and present it here because I think it sums up the emotional and social life of a child between the ages of one and three. Kudos to this anonymous author who clearly has a child of that age at home.

  • If I like it, it's mine.
  • If it's in my hands, it's mine.
  • If I can take it from you, it's mine.
  • If I ever had it for a while, it's mine.
  • If it's mine, it will never be yours in any way, shape or form under any circumstances!
  • If I do something or build something, then everything I make it from is mine.
  • If someone thinks it's mine, then it's mine.
  • If I think it's mine, then it's mine.
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