How to identify a pick-up artist among men?

What is a “pickup”, what is the meaning of the word?

So, the word pickup itself comes from the English “pick up” and denotes an activity aimed at quick seduction, as well as the development of the skills necessary for this. It's funny that the direct translation of this word includes such concepts as pick up, catch, hook up, as well as make friends, get acquainted and - attention! – improve.

Interesting spread, isn't it? But the most interesting thing is that any of these translations will reflect the essence of the pickup truck phenomenon.

In order to better understand why this happens, it is worth delving into the history of the emergence of a pickup truck as a common vehicle.

History and essence of the pickup truck

Probably the most famous pick-up artist of the past, information about whom has been preserved and reached us, is Giacomo Casanova, who became famous thanks to his memoirs about his own life, which were replete with his love affairs. Of course, if you look at the images of this thief of women's hearts, almost no one in our time will find him more or less attractive. However, he enjoyed enviable popularity among women.

Giacomo Casanova

The pickup technique itself was developed in the early 1990s, when the first pickup communities (PUA or seduction communities) began to be created. The literal translation is “communities of temptation,” and this very accurately reflects the essence of the movement.

What is noteworthy is that not long before this, communities with a similar name were created in some European countries, but their goal was to teach young men with various appearance problems not to be ashamed of themselves, to overcome their own complexes and pressures, and also to learn to communicate with the opposite sex.

What is the relationship between all these events? In fact, the pickup movement basically teaches men to be more liberated, to overcome their own fears and taboos, and to love themselves with all their strengths and weaknesses. And, thanks to this, learning to communicate with girls is easy and relaxed. However, as you probably already thought, this sounds too idealized, even implausible. Well, we can't help but agree.

One of the foreign founders of this movement wrote in his book that “dirty” techniques exist, but they should be used as a defense, not an attack. But, as you know, information that is popular, but is transmitted, for the most part, by word of mouth, passing through the prism of the perception of each subsequent person, changes beyond recognition.

This is how we ended up with a rather toxic subculture, from whose representatives most women try to hide.

One of the standard pickup techniques: sit down on a bench next to a girl and start talking to her

Male pick-up artists

Who most often strives to comprehend this skill? Often these are men who have internal problems, complexes, are quite insecure, and feel embarrassed in women’s society. Another category are young guys who crave increased attention to their person, again, insecure (even deep down) or feeling envious of friends who are more successful in love affairs.

It is also worth noting that there are currently many pick-up artist courses. However, there are only a few truly useful courses that can help men rebuild their personality, deal with their own problems, gain self-confidence, and then, with new qualities, properly meet representatives of the fair sex. And how can you figure out which of them will really help you improve your life, and which ones are aimed only at quantity? The result is unfortunate pickup artists, because of which the mere mention of a pickup truck is accompanied by a “hand-face” gesture or laughter.

So, what does a male pickup artist look like? There is a misconception that this is necessarily a young man who strives only for quantitative victories and bed pleasures once or twice. Undoubtedly, there are such people too, and, unfortunately, there are many of them . But don’t think that there are no pick-up artists among adult men. They exist, they exist, and among them there are also some kind of “lovers” who are eager for a romantic date for one or two nights.

But to a greater extent, a mature man who has mastered the art of pickup is distinguished by his courtesy, gallantry, and attention to women, but he views dating and communication with women not as adding to his list of victories, but as a step towards the possible development of long-term, harmonious relationships.

This happens due to the fact that this man does not try to seem like someone else - he is even internally such a person - balanced, conscious, harmonious.

In addition, any man who approaches pickup wisely is distinguished by the fact that he easily finds a common language not only with females, but also with males - it is pleasant for anyone to communicate with him, he quickly makes new acquaintances, and is often the soul of any company. But he does not have any “puffiness” about his position or skills; he is calm and balanced. These men, even if they use their skills for selfish purposes, do it quite safely for others, without leaving negative emotions and memories.

Often girls do not understand that they are just being played with

On the contrary, if you look at an immature person who is carried away by a pickup truck, you can quickly notice that the guy or man is simply playing a rote role - his words, phrases and actions do not reflect his inner state. Perhaps this is self-expression. In a large company, he will often either attract too much attention, or, conversely, will be practically invisible, especially if the company is mostly male. A feeling of tension and artificiality will also arise during communication.

Also, a feature of such a character will be a desire to quickly violate personal boundaries, touch, shower with questions, bombard with compliments, but at the same time all this will feel so stereotyped and repulsive that such behavior, ultimately, helps to support the opinion that pick-up artists are absolutely human. inadequate.

Types of pickup artists

Professional seducers can be divided into 2 main groups. The first type includes male representatives who are distinguished by their sincere love for women and do not consider them defective or inferior in any way. This category of pick-up artists includes educated, intelligent people who study psychology, philosophy, social dynamics, practical and esoteric aspects of Buddhism and many other disciplines. They can be recognized by the following signs:

1. Such a person is distinguished by sincere behavior, does not like falsehood and tries to be himself, and not play a learned role when communicating with girls.
2. He does not set himself the goal of sleeping with hundreds of women, but is looking for the one and only one in order to connect his future life with her. He is simply well aware that diamonds do not lie on the surface, so he masters the art of seduction in order to learn to separate the “wheat from the chaff.”
3. A man of this type pays a lot of attention to self-development, which makes him an interesting interlocutor with a broad outlook.

Of course, not only people who want to get rid of fears, complexes and become “the best version of themselves” go to pickup. Subjects who lack high moral qualities and treat women from a purely consumerist point of view also sign up for seduction training. Manipulators can be recognized by the following characteristics:

1. After communicating with such pick-up artists, you are left with an unpleasant aftertaste, a feeling of discomfort and mental tension.
2. These individuals use patterns and routines that appear unnatural and false.
3. They expect approval from girls, being offended by criticism and mocking remarks addressed to them.

People who belong to the second type do their best to demonstrate self-confidence and increase their social status. Such individuals speak in memorized phrases, have a lifeless gaze, and desperately want to assert themselves in the eyes of others by humiliating other people. Despite the abundance of seducers who use manipulation and dishonest methods, normal pick-up artists believe that breaking up with a girl should be “environmentally friendly,” that is, not cause harm to the girl’s psyche and self-esteem.

How to recognize a pick-up artist?

If we have more or less figured out the question of who a pick-up artist is and what his features are, then another reasonable question arises - how to recognize him? You won’t shy away from every man, fearing that he is the one who collects nights with pretty girls...

The biggest challenge is that the embarrassed guy can be a lot like the would-be pick-up artist. But there are a number of signs that will reduce the risk of offending a young man for no reason.

Signs of a malicious pick-up artist (precisely the second, toxic type):

• It seems to you that the phrase with which you begin communication is painfully familiar to you,
• From the first seconds you are showered with compliments mixed with questions about your life. Almost no pauses
• A man persistently asks for your phone number or suggests going on a date immediately,
• There seems to be no concept of personal boundaries - the guy comes too close, touches your arm, shoulder, tries to straighten your clothes, hair...
• If you do end up on a date, then everything continues with a vengeance,
• The guy says practically nothing about himself, preferring only to ask questions,
• Hints about continuing the evening on a different plane will also slip in every now and then - the topic of sex will be raised in one form or another with enviable regularity.

To make sure we don’t make a mistake, let’s clarify the behavior of an ordinary guy: when meeting you, he will most likely be embarrassed, and he certainly won’t bombard you tirelessly with compliments and questions. Usually, even the most confident men are nervous, so it’s unlikely that they will work out an entire speech for such an eventuality.

Another distinguishing feature of an ordinary guy from a would-be pick-up artist is that from the first minutes of your communication he will not diligently violate your personal boundaries, because by doing so he will violate his own boundaries too. And this is not the most pleasant thing in communicating with a complete stranger, even a very nice one.

Guys who are not familiar with pickup will not play the same game, that is, by asking questions about you and your life, they will also talk about themselves. This is banal psychology - most people like to talk about themselves, as this is an additional “safety zone”.

Well, if you still decide to spend time together, then there will either be no targeted hints about the bed, or they will slip by accident.

Yes, another very important fact - it’s not so often that a simple guy, after meeting someone, will propose to get to know each other better on the same day in a cafe or in any other way. After all, men also need time to mentally prepare before a date.

However, the most important thing is to look at the situation. Excessive vigilance can become similar to paranoia, and no one is immune from mistakes, so perhaps you will reject the simplest, but undoubtedly good man.

What is a pickup truck and who is a pickup artist - the truth for women

You can meet a pick-up artist anywhere - in a cafe, in a club, on the street, etc. What sets a pick-up artist apart is his persistence when making acquaintances. Therefore, if your new gentleman behaves excessively suspiciously and unusually, then it is quite possible that he is the very pick-up artist with whom the relationship is unlikely to go beyond bed. For such a person, a girl is only a sexual object , and it is pointless to count on a serious union, much less a Mendelssohn march.

• A pick-up artist is a “macho” and a “seducer” . In any case, that is exactly what he considers himself to be.
• Pick-up is taught at special trainings dedicated to the topic of seducing girls.
• Pick-up artists are fans of their craft. Every girl laid on her shoulder blades is for them another trophy in the list of victories.
• It’s good if the girl became just fun for the pick-up artist. It is much worse if this victory is confirmed by evidence (video and photos) and presented to like-minded people (this also happens).
• The main task of the pick-up artist is to get the girl to rush into his arms . The highest aerobatics of the art of pickup is fast (in other words, sex after meeting).
• The age of a pick-up artist can be different - from quite young to closer to forty years old.

Did a handsome young stranger give you a compliment? Don’t rush to smile back at him and spread your wings - perhaps this pickup artist is practicing his skills after training .

How to protect yourself?

It would be a little wrong not to indicate ways to protect yourself from a suddenly accosted pick-up artist. But remember that all this is for informational purposes only, and you should not react in this way to every person you meet.

So, pick-up artists don’t like:

• Poking jokes, grinning in your direction,
• Disappearances
• Lots of questions
• Rigid framework.

Of course, looking at this list you want to say, “Who loves all this?” Do not hurry.

One of the pick-up techniques is that a man arouses interest through non-standard behavior - that is, in addition to compliments, he also uses various jokes and “on the verge” grins. If in the case of unsuccessful jokes one slips through and that’s the end of it, then in the case of using pick-up, even if you say that you don’t like it, specific attacks in your direction will continue. Even if you take offense, even if you start sulking, it won’t help. But it’s worth pinning such a man back a couple of times - and that’s it, you’re guaranteed to be offended.

The next point relates more to intrusive hints of intimacy. Most likely, your refusals will not be accepted, but if you don’t respond to messages and calls for just a couple of days, the pickup artist will disappear from view, most likely forever.

The third point concerns the techniques already discussed, when you, that is, the victim, are bombarded with a variety of questions. Start persistently bombarding him with questions in response - and you will see a nervous, and possibly psychotic, man who does everything to avoid such questions. Moreover, this is a good way to make sure once again that this is a pickup artist. And if it’s really him, then the tenacity with which he will try to turn the conversation back to you can only be envied.

The last point is strict boundaries. If you carefully set boundaries and strictly adhere to them, then the pickup lover, having failed to violate them, will quite clearly express dissatisfaction. Or he will cut off contact with you altogether. This, of course, does not mean that you need to keep everyone a meter away from you, but be persistent if you don’t like what your companion is doing. This applies to violation of personal boundaries, questions and other things. You shouldn’t follow the lead according to the principle “I’ve had enough of it already, get what you want and leave me alone.” This is exactly what they are waiting for - for you to start giving up.

For an accomplished pick-up artist, the most important thing is sex and the number of partners.

Secrets of pickup artists

Knowing about the tactics and techniques of pick-up artists, you can easily bring them to light. First of all, you need to familiarize yourself with the classic seducer scheme, which involves winning in 3 dates. The pick-up artist devotes the first 2 meetings to collecting the maximum amount of information about the female object. The key is the decisive (third) date, the task of which is to discourage the girl and take her out of emotional balance. Such a shock can be based both on the fear of the “victim” (fear of heights, spiders or any other strong phobia) and on its weaknesses (fluffy kittens, plush toys or Japanese cuisine).

Knowing this algorithm, a girl can easily take the reins into her own hands by moving the decisive date to another place at the last moment. Thus the plans of the seducer are destroyed, and he, in confusion, turns from hunter to prey. Having suspected that your annoying admirer is a pick-up artist, you should start a kind of game with him, the basic rules of which are as follows:

• tell him as little information about yourself as possible;
• cut off any attempts at tactile contact;
• after the first date, ignore his phone calls;
• arrange for him to “break the pattern”, avoiding direct answers and adhering to a non-standard line of behavior.

The modern pickup truck is a real subculture, so recognizing a seducer with a little diligence is not so difficult. Professional seducers have their own slang, in which, for example, the term “MLTR” means a long-term relationship with several passions at the same time, where “primary” is the main girl, and “secondary” is a backup option. “LTR” is a long-term relationship with one lady. The concept of “prize model” implies a behavioral pattern that provokes a woman to start pursuing a pick-up artist herself. “Calibration” refers to the assessment of the reaction on the part of a potential victim. “Fast” is an ideal scenario that involves sex on the first date.

GET TO KNOW THE PICKUP PERSON: MISSION IS POSSIBLE

Especially for those interested in pickup trucks

A pick-up artist is a person who can easily start a conversation with any girl. Men! Undoubtedly, among the girls there are not the best specimens, but you should not think that if you were unlucky once or twice, then all women are the same. It's great if you want to overcome your shyness and gain ease in communication. But picking on women purely for show is a low “sport” that does not do you any honor.

If you really want to learn the art of seduction, remember that like attracts like, so use the knowledge you gain wisely. Of course, if a woman behaves ugly towards you, that’s one thing. In other words: if they use “dirty” tricks against you, it is not a sin to respond in kind. But, if in front of you is an adequate and worthy girl, you should not destroy her faith in the stronger sex.

Pickup began its development as the art of seducing the girl you liked, but over time it grew into an unhealthy sport:

1. who can meet the largest number of girls,
2. sleep with the most women,
3. “glue” a girl together faster.

It is not surprising that the attitude towards pick-up artists is extremely negative. After all, teaching this skill is now the most popular!

As a result, more and more “empty” people appear inside with the same words, honing their techniques on everyone.

Therefore, if you want to be able to simply get a large number of girls into bed, this is your choice, but the best solution would be to combine pickup techniques with working on yourself, developing better qualities, and your own development. Then very soon you will notice that your success in society is colossal, and the girls themselves show interest in you even without pick-up tricks.