If a wife cheated on her husband, how should he behave?

Loving people, when getting married, hope that their relationship will forever remain honest, pure, and that there will be no third person in it. Men, like women, are vulnerable in matters of fidelity, but often, tormented by doubts and suspicions, they do not know how to reliably find out whether their wife is cheating on them, and at the same time not destroy the love union. In this article we will try to answer the following questions:

how to find out with 100% accuracy whether your wife is cheating?
What are the main signs of betrayal?
How to detect cheating?
What to do if cheating has already happened?

First of all, you need to figure out why doubts about your wife’s fidelity crept in right now. What prompted your suspicions? There are rare cases when a woman looks away if everything is in order in the family. And therefore, in order to understand whether there could be betrayal, it is necessary to look at the relationship detachedly and objectively.

Possible reasons

There could be a lot of reasons:

Lack of interest. Beloved, having become a wife, ceased to excite. It’s not interesting, like before, what she does and says. The everydayness of the beloved's appearance dulls the senses. But if a woman does not see admiration in her husband’s eyes, then she can go looking for adventure on the side.
Sex, or rather the lack of it , is the main reason for cheating, both in men and women. Often, after five years of marriage, sexual attraction to each other becomes dull, but sexual instincts do not disappear. If there has been no sexual release for the last few weeks, and your woman is satisfied with this, then you should think about it.
Revenge . If a man has an affair, then you shouldn’t be surprised, but some wives will not throw a tantrum, scandal and break dishes, but will quietly and quietly follow their husband’s example. Women who have been married for a long time often do this. A high percentage are wives over 40 years old.
Control. Sometimes jealous people themselves push a woman to cheat. Total surveillance, claims and accusations of mythical treason push a woman to think that at least the accusations will be deserved.
Tell me who is your friend? If your wife’s friends take marriage and fidelity lightly and constantly broadcast it or talk about various passionate romances and fun adventures, then this is a call. Even if the wife is not cheating now, but encourages similar behavior from her friends, then perhaps this is normal for her. And it’s difficult to resist temptation, especially when your friends know how to exaggerate and embellish.

Are all women capable of cheating?

Why do women cheat?

Depends on many aspects. In most cases, a wife cheats when her husband begins to change for the worse.

For example, he used to be handsome, but in a couple of years he became fat and neglected himself .

This is perceived as a kind of breach of contract that women do not tolerate.

And love began to cool down. Namely, love makes a woman remain faithful .

Education, including religious education, can also stop a woman from cheating.

Indirect signs of betrayal

Men can be inattentive to the external changes of their halves, but by changes one can determine the betrayal of his wife. There are about 15 points.

The first sign: the wife has her head in the clouds. A thoughtful, dreamy look, a wandering smile, moist eyes. Sometimes he laughs, sometimes he cries, without explaining the reasons for the surging emotions.
The woman began to carefully monitor her appearance. New hairstyle, always wearing makeup, signed up for a fitness center, beautiful underwear.
Previously, the wife would throw the phone in a visible place without thinking, but now she won’t let it out of her hands , social network passwords have been changed, secrets have appeared - a serious reason to think about it. Now she doesn’t chat with her friend on the phone in front of you, but retreats to the bathroom and answers phone conversations in monosyllables. Even worse, the wife decided to sometimes stay overnight with a friend or sister. At the right moment, neither your friend nor your wife can be reached by phone, and only after some time does the wife call back from her mobile phone.
My beloved began to stay late at work more often, meet with friends outside the home, and social hobbies appeared , although previously my wife loved to spend time with her family. He reacts negatively to the offer to meet him from work.
Sexual behavior has changed . Having fallen in love with another man, a woman often tries to distance herself from marital obligations. There are a lot of reasons why sex will definitely happen tomorrow, but not now: the woman is tired, has a headache, is upset about something, etc. Sex itself is changing, a woman is not leading in bed as before.
Criticality and irritability appeared . The wife nags her husband over trifles, makes a bunch of complaints, does not thank him for the good, but notices the bad.
Indifference . A woman doesn’t care when a man returns home, his well-being, how things are going at work, she no longer cares whether a man pays attention to other women.
Admiration for others . A mysterious colleague, friend, friend’s husband appears in the conversation, who turns out to be smart, olfactory, and hardworking. At the same time, the wife clarifies every time that she has only friendly, friendly relations with this man and she is not attracted to him as a man. This does not mean that the wife is already cheating, but you should still be wary.

Never mind

Some men want to find out about their wife's infidelity, and seem to go crazy because of this. They see signs even where there are none. The most ordinary things in the eyes of a jealous person can turn into irrefutable evidence. So calm down.

Mood swings. Now she is cheerful and friendly, but after a couple of minutes she is already offended and swearing. Women's emotions are highly dependent on the cycle. So this does not mean at all that the wife is sleeping with someone else. She's just PMSing.
Sudden changes in a woman’s character and behavior. It’s not only after cheating that spouses change dramatically. She may, on the contrary, try to strengthen family ties. New underwear, hairstyle and friendliness - it doesn’t mean anything. You should be wary if you notice the first two factors, but your wife is cold with you.

By and large, almost any sign of a wife’s betrayal can come up with a logical explanation. So don’t get excited and always evaluate the whole picture, and not some isolated details.

Physiology

There are not enough indirect signs to accuse a wife of cheating. Therefore, you need to pay attention to physiological signs. So, how can you tell by looking at your body whether there has been cheating?

The girl was once again late at work. When your wife comes home, look at her appearance : disheveled hair, tights with arrows, rumpled clothes, swollen lips - signs of infidelity.
It's worth looking at the face . Women experience irritation after touching male stubble. If there were kisses with another man, then it will be noticeable.
When in close contact with her lover, a woman absorbs his scents . Men's eau de toilette, body odor, if they are strangers, are noticeable. If there was sex, then the woman has a specific smell: this is the smell of lubricant and sperm. But even if the wife doesn’t smell like anything, as if she just got out of the shower, it’s strange. How to check without giving away unusual interest? Meet your wife at the door, hug, kiss, inhale the aroma of skin, hair, body.
If your wife came home and took a shower, offer your help : rub her back. After sex, there will be redness and bites on the body, especially in the chest, thighs, and arms.

In what ways can you find out?

We will follow the presumption of innocence and not believe individual signs. Only accurate information about a relationship or sex with another man should be considered evidence of infidelity.

You cannot rely on the words of her friends (they may be doing this to drive you away from your wife), parents (they may be interested in destroying the couple) and your friends who think something is wrong.

Only if you yourself caught your wife and her lover in bed, kissing a man in a cafe.

You can also seek the services of a detective agency, professionals who have no motive to lie.

A hidden camera at home and listening devices will also help you find out for sure whether your wife is cheating on you.

How to recognize cheating? Tips in this video:

Evidence of betrayal

But there are ways that allow you to be sure of a girl’s infidelity with 100% accuracy. How to make sure your wife is cheating?

Can you tell cheating by looking at your underpants? Yes. There is a special set of infidelity: within 72 hours after possible infidelity, you need to take your wife’s underwear and take it to the laboratory.

A polygraph or lie detector will dot the i’s . If doubts persist, but there is no evidence, you should contact a printer. We advise you to resort to this method if you have lost sleep and peace. There is hardly a woman alive in this world who would not be offended by the offer to take a lie test. After this, divorce may occur and not because of infidelity.
Detective agency . Organizing surveillance of an unfaithful wife in the 21st century is easier than ever. There would be money.
View correspondence on a social network, view phone calls, listen to telephone conversations, buy a special bug and put it in your bag, spy on your wife yourself. Spying is unpleasant, and even if you find nothing, the seeds of mistrust have been sown and you will now be constantly browsing, listening, and spying.
It's strange, but sometimes a simple method works better than a complex one. Try just asking directly and see the reaction. Perhaps the wife has been waiting for a difficult conversation for a long time, or maybe she even feels guilty, and an unexpected question will force her to confess.

Her phone won't stop ringing

At the beginning of a relationship, we seem to become dependent on communication. We get butterflies in our stomachs from new messages, and our hearts flutter with every new meeting. Of course, such feelings motivate you to send hundreds of messages a day.

Incessant notification sounds can indicate that your girlfriend has a lover, especially if this has never happened before. The further development of events depends on what rules reign in your relationship.

Some couples freely use each other’s phones, go to the pages of their loved ones on social networks and can even scroll through correspondence. But there are also relationships in which the personal remains personal.

If you cannot independently verify the “innocence” of constant notifications, and your wife’s phone is protected by a password and fingerprint, we advise you to more closely monitor her behavior and reaction to questions about these messages.

Treason proven

Before convicting your wife of cheating, you should talk frankly with yourself: are you ready to separate, are you ready for a divorce, to divide your property. Isn’t it your fault that your wife has lost interest in you and started looking elsewhere? Do you love her even after the betrayal or now you can’t live with her under the same roof? How serious was her affair? How to understand the wife's action? What to do now?

First, sit down and talk. Find out how important these relationships outside the family are for her. Then it all depends on how you feel: if pain and resentment overpower your former feelings for your loved one, then you need to separate. Because constant reproaches will still not allow you to return sincere love relationships.

It may turn out that the wife herself wants to go to her lover. And you also need to be prepared for this. For some, this blow may be worse than betrayal. But if you decide to stay together and continue to build family relationships, you will have to make serious efforts to restore trust and understanding. You may need the help of a psychologist. But in any case, a lot will have to change in marriage. This is a difficult, traumatic situation for everyone. The choice is yours.

Source: razvod-gid.ru

Good afternoon. I decided to write and ask for advice.

The story is probably banal, married for 10 years, together for 13. Relationships within the family were different, and quarrels, and reconciliations, and everyday life, and love, two or three years ago I began to notice that the relationship had become incomprehensible, the wife’s initiative in sex was gone, the desire was gone, if there was sex, then I insisted, I started the initiative first, I became... If I didn’t insist, then there was no sex for a month or more. It was difficult, but somehow I got by (the children’s work took up all the time, I didn’t allow relationships on the side), yes, I understand that everyday life was boring, they got used to each other and so on, but the more the more I realized that it’s just a trivial matter - I’m a cuckold.

My wife is a happy, smart woman, I didn’t notice her being late from work, secret correspondence at home or strange calls. I’m interested in the peculiarities of a woman’s physiology, so it turns out that it’s normal to consult with no one. If I am my wife’s only partner, then it is possible that once during sex I enter her with difficulty (although she is excited and wet), and sometimes I don’t even feel that I am in her, everything is wide and accessible? And is it also possible for there to be discharge from the vagina that there is white discharge all over the panties??

* * * * *

God, this is actually a lovely letter!) Well, let's look at the evidence that may indicate his wife's infidelity. And according to the evidence that you seem to have: First. A woman's vagina does NOT reprogram itself from penis to penis. It’s just that, against the backdrop of stress, trying to cling to at least something, you recalled echoes of an essentially teenage story about how a woman’s vagina narrows or expands after sex with other sizes, and therefore her husband can determine with his penis who I've been there yet. If a larger one has visited, then the husband’s penis will dangle after him. And if it’s smaller, it will go in with a creak.

No, no and NO. No woman has an incoming counter, much less a penis meter. And whether the vagina seems narrower or wider depends generally on internal processes, and quite simply: the intestines are bursting with gases. So get it out of your head, this is not evidence of treason.

Second. Vaginal discharge is not only possible, but in principle the norm. Unless, of course, they smell of something very foreign and unpleasant, they don’t pour like buckets and they don’t have a green color. Discharge is, in principle, a normal part of a woman’s life. Their intensity depends on the day of the cycle, sometimes more, sometimes almost none. And even if this same discharge at some point changes or becomes more abundant, this does not mean that she is sleeping with someone else or is catching something somewhere. There may be a basic glitch. Some chronic female diseases, inflammation, etc. But not a stranger's man. The usual thing. It’s just that you haven’t looked at her panties so closely before in attacks of paranoia.

In short, not on panties, unless they are clearly covered in someone else’s sperm; You can’t determine betrayal by looking at your vagina. Boys, look for other evidence) ________

Source: prostitutka-ket.livejournal.com

Why wives cheat

A spouse is capable of cheating for a variety of reasons, and sometimes there are several. Often the man himself guesses what the problem of intrafamily conflict is. But how to find out that a wife has a lover is unclear, because asking a direct question is inappropriate, following or reading correspondence is unsafe, risky, and for some, even humiliating.

READ

How to forgive a girl for cheating: ways to restore love

Nevertheless, it is still necessary to find out the truth - no one wants to live in deception, and even on the part of a once beloved woman. It is impossible to forget about this, even if a lady with honest eyes convinces that she never allowed herself to look at other guys, much less sleep with them.

To forgive or not to forgive infidelity is another matter. First, you need to find out whether the man’s suspicions are justified or whether he fooled himself and instilled the idea of a lover in his beloved. Subsequently, it is important to understand the reasons. They are as follows:

Sexual dissatisfaction. Passion may fade away after many years of marriage, or the husband does not satisfy his wife sufficiently, does not listen to her, and thinks only about his feelings.
Falling in love with another man. The fear of losing a family and destroying a union does not allow a person to cut off all ties with his current partner and leave for another, which is why cheating happens. The other half rushes between two fires and cannot make the right choice.
Lack of intimacy in general. This happens if one of the spouses is not satisfied with the appearance or actions of the other. Sometimes, after years, interest is lost, sex ceases to bring joy, because of scandals, you don’t want intimacy, etc.

There are also individual reasons that are not typical for the majority. If the spouse cheated earlier, which became known, after some time the wife is able to do the same. The reason for this is veiled revenge, an attempt to cope with resentment and the inability to let go of the situation that happened.

General signs

The girls learned to hide deception well, sometimes reaching the level of mastery. They will go to great lengths to avoid punishment and fool their betrothed.

If the wife changed her behavior, her behavior will definitely change! First of all, pay attention to this point. It is the most significant, since they talk about changes in her personal life, which, most likely, are not related to you.
An unreasonable change in mood may indicate that there are disagreements with her new partner or vice versa.
Lately you have been feeling that your intimate relationship has failed. Of course, this is not 100% infidelity, because we can’t always think about sex, but if this has become a pattern, it’s worth thinking about.
Your spouse has lost respect for you, begins to point out your shortcomings, does not respect your choices, does not make concessions, and also compares you with others. Not only is it unpleasant, but it also means something.
Lost interest in you. If earlier she was jealous, nagged, started quarrels and showdowns because of gatherings with friends and returning home late, now she doesn’t care, perhaps she’s even happy about it, since now she has a lot of time for a new object of passion and for herself.
Frequent delays at work indicate that they are not at all due to “blockages” at work. Frequent “reports” indicate that time is spent with a lover. It’s not difficult to check this; just offer to pick her up from work or come without warning.
You can test your wife's devotion by who drives her home. A stranger or colleague will not become a free taxi driver out of pure intentions.
Signs of your wife's betrayal are hidden in your underwear. You've probably noticed the new lace lingerie. Of course, there is nothing wrong with buying it, but if she puts it on before leaving, and not for your sake, most likely, the guesses are not groundless.
Frequent sleepovers “at a friend’s” can be an excellent cover for meeting a man.
From time to time you find different gifts, some of them expensive? Surely the wife secretly receives them and brings them home. Do you know exactly what you bought for her and would she be able to afford them, given the family budget?
You can also draw conclusions based on your periods. That is, they can be a reason for refusal. Notice how often this reason is stated. Perhaps she will give herself away when several times a month, one reason will be that she does not want to sleep with you.
Some “manic” spouses, due to their jealousy, determine when the wife has gone “to the left” in the vagina. For example, when immediately after arriving home, the spouse rushes to the shower and locks herself in there. Maybe she is washing away the traces and smell of another.

Do you want to know the truth

Now think about it - do you really want to find out if your wife has a lover? What will you do with this information? Are you ready to get a divorce, leave your family, children, kick her out or leave home, divide your jointly acquired property? Or will you try to save the marriage, fully aware that your wife was intimate with another man?

You need to answer this question before you start looking for signs of cheating in your wife's behavior. Once you expose it, you will no longer be able to live as before.

In some situations, it is better to live in comfortable ignorance than to find out for sure and live with it. If you are not ready for the consequences, it is better not to stir up this hornet's nest.

In this article you will learn only the external signs of your wife’s betrayal, but if you want to find out 100%, collect evidence of betrayal.

By phone and appearance

How to find out cheating using your phone? Most likely, the phone is increasingly hidden from your view, you have limited access to it, more and more often she puts it on silent mode or even turns it off. Take the opportunity to check your correspondence and incoming calls.

How to determine your wife's infidelity by appearance? Has she started spending a huge amount of time near the mirror? A radical change in image? Repainted a new color? All of these signs could mean something is wrong.

How to recognize infidelity by the body and make sure that your inner feeling does not let you down? It's quite unpleasant to realize that your significant other is no longer honest with you. It has been proven that the stronger sex perceives this fact no less painfully than representatives of the weaker sex.

One of the most reliable facts of betrayal is her alienation.

The feeling that warm hugs no longer attract the girl, she no longer needs them. Although it used to calm her down, it brought you both closer. There is already a different person in front of you.

Facial expressions and movements

Next, let's look at facial expressions. The fair half of humanity has about 45 muscles located on their faces; without even realizing it, they show true emotions. When the conversation is about love, and a mask of sarcasm is painted on the face, and the eyes are narrowed, this is an obvious deception.

Signals such as a long gaze should be alarming, because this manifestation means hatred.

If your loved one’s gait changes, it means you have been “cuckolded.” You will definitely notice the changes, because she will move around the city with her head held high and an independent look.

The above facts indicate that the physiological signs of female infidelity are obvious.

However, there is no need to panic and arrange a debriefing! Only massive coincidences over a certain period can be a reason for action. One or more coincidences may be a real coincidence. Approach the matter consciously and analyze what is happening.

Folk wisdom

Since ancient times, folk signs have been considered a reliable source by which one can look into the future or decipher certain actions and events. In married life there are also enough situations for which there are answers from ancestors.

For example, they say that if your spouse starts mentioning a certain man, a neighbor, an acquaintance, and even more so praising him, comparing you with him, this means that you have ceased to suit her, and enough complaints have accumulated. And you shouldn’t think that the affair is with him. No, this is just a “bell” for the spouse to reconsider the relationship. Otherwise, a lover will actually appear later.

Don't understand what's going on between you? Analyze her mood. Thoughtfulness, withdrawal into herself and sudden changes in emotional terms indicate changes in her personal life.

A sufficient number of existing methods will help determine how honest your other half is with you; only by carefully observing her can you be sure of possible deception. Only after the balance of arguments outweighs simple suspicions can you present them and begin a serious conversation.

Advice for men

You should not throw suspicions around ahead of time, because not every person will be able to forgive false accusations and humiliating mistrust in their own address.

First of all, analyze your own behavior. Surely you yourself have more than once given reason to doubt your loyalty and love. Sometimes we push people close to us to make a terrible mistake with our attitude. Unreasonable jealousy and prohibitions cause pain, and lack of attention and care leads to consequences when a person, on a subconscious level, looks for missing feelings and emotions “on the side.”

Have there been times when you refused to help or support your loved one when she needed it? No wonder she ends up accepting it from someone else. Then her fault is no more than yours.

But when it comes to calculated betrayal, you shouldn’t hesitate and blame yourself.

Don't try to reason with the person or try to rekindle the relationship. Gather your thoughts and categorically declare separation and divorce. Walk away proudly and try to be alone for a while. Think about how you plan to live further, whether you need to forgive.

When there are children together, the situation becomes more complicated. Under no circumstances should you cross them out of your life or try to make them a bargaining chip, because they are not to blame for anything. They still need both parents, they still love them just the same. Try to spend your free time with them, without discussing the current situation, and without insulting their mother. They are unlikely to understand this, and it will not add honor to you.

Eliminate the option of “revenge” with similar actions. This will definitely not heal the soul, but it may make the situation worse. And also “drowning grief” with alcohol is a dubious method. Nothing will come of this except destruction.

She doesn't spend the night at home

Remember your childhood: even then, spending the night away from home was an unusual adventure, a little adventure. This is because during sleep we are as unprotected as possible, and therefore we try to spend our nights at home - in our comfort zone.

Now you understand that to spend the night away from home, a person must have a compelling reason or strong desire. As a child, we stayed overnight with friends for movie marathons and parties, but in adulthood there is practically no time for this.

To spend the night in another place, and more than once, you need to come up with a really good reason. But no matter what it is, the absence of a woman at home at night is always a cause for concern. Take the time to make sure that she spends the night exactly where she said.