The husband is an alcoholic, the husband is a tyrant, the husband beats...
This list can be continued indefinitely.
But the most important thing to realize is that people don’t change. More precisely, they change, but only when they themselves find the incentive and strength to do so. But they don’t always last long. Sasha hit Olya for the first time when they returned from dinner with his parents. The future mother-in-law strongly criticized Olya: she was dressed poorly, her manners were terrible, her makeup was provocative, she said that she had been milking cows all her life in the village. And no matter what Olya said or did, her mother-in-law found flaws in everything.
Upset Olya complained to Sasha, but came across a harsh rebuke. This is his mother, she is wiser, she knows life better. And so word for word they quarreled. And Sasha hit Olya and gave her a tasty slap in the face. It took her breath away. She left.
But the very next day Sasha came to her with a bouquet and a ring, and got down on one knee.
He eloquently apologized and swore that this would not happen again. And he was very convincing. Olya forgave him and married him.
Time passed, everything seemed to be fine. But then, during an argument, Sasha hit her. Then he apologized, gave communication... The intervals between the blows shortened, the apologies became less eloquent, and the blows themselves became harder.
Olya endured and endured, and then one day she realized that her husband would not change. She'd given him second chances too many times. And she left him. His words no longer touched her heart. Now, when she looks back and remembers her life, she is horrified: how could she live for 5 years with such a person?
If this is normal for the husband, then there is no way to convince him. His family could have a very big influence on him; if his father treated his mother poorly, then he is unlikely to value his wife.
How to leave a man depending on your zodiac sign
- You should not complain, feel sorry for the abandoned man and blame yourself. After all, soon he will meet someone with whom he will be truly happy. And you will receive the long-awaited freedom.
- When parting, return him at least some gifts. But be sure to take all your things from his house (including toothpicks and candy wrappers).
- Try to think more often about the delights of a new life without him and about other attractive men.
- Temporarily refrain from drinking strong drinks. They may make you want to call your ex and sort things out with him. But now you are strangers. Therefore, no contacts!
- Be happy (or act like it in front of your ex). Let him know that your eyes are sparkling with new love.
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Aries wants to break up on his own.
An “explosive” sign, ardent and impulsive. It is not surprising that in his romantic union there are always endless scandals, departures and reconciliations. When Aries decides that he needs to end the relationship, he goes through this difficult time quite sensitively with his partner. Sometimes he cries, confesses his love, cancels his decision and makes it again.
If you leave Aries.
How to leave an Aries man? Get ready for the fact that parting with him on your initiative will no longer be so sentimental. In this case, his love will quickly give way to anger and, sometimes, hatred. From this moment on, the contrite man will take revenge with his indifference, each time passing by with lightning speed, without any greetings. And even if his love is still alive, he will never admit it.
Taurus wants to break up on his own.
Representatives of this sign carefully think through their connections. They don't choose random partners. If Taurus has decided on a relationship, it means they are confident in the correctness of their choice. Therefore, in the event of a mistake and separation, Taurus experiences pain, feels deceived, and cannot believe that they miscalculated.
How to dump a Taurus man? In any case, he will suffer alone. However, he still does not want to share the pain of defeat with others. It is important for a man of this sign to maintain his image and self-esteem, so he will not fight for your cooled feelings or take revenge. Often abandoned Taurus people surround themselves with false friends, assuring him of his own perfection and the boundless shortcomings of his ex. Because of this, Taurus is unable to draw the right conclusions from failed relationships.
Geminis want to separate on their own.
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Representatives of this sign are quite practical about romantic relationships. They adhere to the principle “if it didn’t work out with one thing, it means it will work out with another.” When Geminis see that their partner does not meet their expectations, they immediately begin to look for another. And at the same time they are absolutely not tormented by remorse.
If you leave Gemini.
How to leave a Gemini man? In fact, you shouldn't worry too much about representatives of this sign. They will quickly drown out the pain of parting by throwing themselves into the whirlpool of social life: going to travel or attending friendly parties. Gemini men usually do not return to their former lovers.
The fact is that these practical people quickly draw conclusions from past mistakes and immediately prepare for new relationships. They will not try to enter the same river twice. The choice of their next partner is even more careful. Most often, her character differs sharply from the character of the previous one.
Cancer wants to break up on his own.
Cancers are great romantics. They sincerely believe in beautiful and eternal love. This means they will do anything to avoid a break in the relationship. Any signs of an impending separation will be ignored by them. And they will never be able to make such a decision on their own. Therefore, Cancers will use any doubts in order to get a chance to improve the relationship.
If you leave Cancer.
How to leave a Cancer man? It's not that simple. If you tell Cancer that you are leaving him, he will hang on your neck, not allowing you to take a step. He will also begin to convince you that there was a misunderstanding and everything can be corrected. And when you disappear from his field of vision, the man will immediately fall into despair.
Leo wants to break up on his own.
Leos are very proud people. Therefore, once the pink veil falls from their eyes and is replaced by disappointment, no one is able to convince them to continue the relationship. Finally, Leo can only condescendingly explain to his former lover that further life together is impossible and for the good of both parties it is necessary to separate.
This conversation is sometimes accompanied by tears, but always without complaints. And in the case when the former half continues to besiege Leo, he becomes extremely decisive and stops answering phone calls. The only exception is the passionately loving representatives of this sign, who continue to believe in their partner, despite the awareness of his shortcomings. These people will try to establish relationships until the last moment.
If you leave Leo.
The Leo man will be very worried, but will try to do it as quietly as possible. A breakup will plunge him into despair and severely wound his wounded ego. However, Leos always leave with dignity. Sometimes they have thoughts of revenge, but they quickly disappear.
Virgo wants to break up on her own.
Virgos experience a breakup as a personal defeat. Therefore, they will delay this moment as long as possible. It is very difficult for Virgos to abruptly cut off all ties, no matter how unhappy they feel next to their partner. So most often they themselves find themselves abandoned.
If you leave Virgo.
It doesn't matter how to leave a Virgo man. In any case, he will instantly lose faith in himself and plunge into deep thoughts. He will begin to go through all the moments of the lost relationship in search of when he made a fatal mistake. And at the same time, he really believes that if he had tried harder and better, everything would have turned out differently.
Libra wants to break up on their own.
Libra cannot be alone. In the absence of an alternative, they will prefer unsuccessful relationships to loneliness. And when something doesn’t go well with their partner, Libra “withdraws into themselves,” avoiding a decisive conversation. They end relationships extremely vaguely, because they do not know how to choose the right words. Most often, Libra gradually moves away or disappears. However, due to the fear of loneliness, soon after this they are already involved in the next relationship that is doomed to failure.
If you leave Libra.
It is very difficult to answer the question of how best to leave a man of this sign. The fact is that Libras always experience breakups deeply and blame their unattractiveness for it. Marriage swindlers and other scammers often take advantage of the weaknesses of these men. If Libra really loves his partner, this will last for a long time. Even many years after the relationship ends, they sometimes continue to love.
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Scorpio wants to break up on his own.
Scorpios never admit defeat. Therefore, if they decide to break the love ties, they will do so. Scorpios break up with the same persistence with which they fought for the affection of their lover.
The reason for the breakup must be significant - betrayal of a partner or loss of trust in him. Then Scorpio's love turns into hatred, and he is ready to destroy everything in his path.
If you leave Scorpio.
How to leave a Scorpio man? It will be quite difficult to do without a scandal. At first he won't even listen to you. He will try to make peace. And if it doesn't work, he'll go berserk. An angry Scorpio man is capable of cruel statements and actions. And he will take revenge. Using all your cunning, grace, imagination and passion. And when he finishes, he will forget about your existence.
Sagittarius wants to break up on his own.
Sagittarians believe that you can cope with anything if you really want to. They will give chances to their partner again and again. But, of course, their patience is not unlimited. If Sagittarius decides to break up, they do it calmly, often subsequently maintaining friendly relations with their ex-partner, supporting him and helping him.
If you quit Sagittarius.
How to dump a Sagittarius man? Whatever. In any case, he will leave with dignity. He will not ask or beg you to renew the relationship. Sagittarius know that something good comes out of any evil, and their whole life is still ahead. Therefore, they quickly make new acquaintances and enter into the next love union.
Capricorn wants to break up on his own.
People of this sign often make the mistake of confusing passionate sympathy with true love. But sooner or later they begin to understand this. And then the relationship quickly ends. Everyone knows the ruthless sincerity of Capricorns. Therefore, their partners should not expect mercy when breaking up. Excessive frankness in such situations often turns into cruelty.
If you leave Capricorn.
Any of the tips listed above on how to leave a man will help you finally break up with Capricorn. After all, he leaves without looking back. His credo is to live here and now, without wasting time regretting the past. This is why abandoned Capricorn men quickly enter into new relationships. Well, those who were deeply in love with their ex-partner successfully drown out their sadness with work.
What to do when you go away with children
Women often complain about their husbands. And when they are finally asked why they are still together, they hide behind their children. And they repeat, like parrots, that “children are better off in a complete family.”
Of course. Who will argue with this truth? But are you sure that your family is complete, or rather, complete? Children are better off in a family where a model of behavior has been built that they can accept. In a full-fledged family:
- parents love each other and their children;
- children are desired regardless of whether the parents planned their birth in advance;
- parents respect each other;
- parents listen to each other;
- neither parent abuses alcohol;
- there are traditions in the family that are observed;
- All family members try to find a compromise in a difficult situation.
If you understand that your family does not meet even half of the stated criteria, then what kind of relationship do you have?
Even if the children are in a separate room during your scandals, they still feel what is happening. If your husband raises his hand to you, then at first they will be scared, then they will try to protect you. And if you never take decisive action, then later they will beat you. Not because they are evil or take after their father’s character.
So let's ask this question again: will children be better off in a formally intact family? Most likely, when you rethink your relationship with your husband, you will understand that it is not.
If you have decided to make the decision to leave, but you have children, you need to have a conversation with them. Be prepared to tell them everything honestly and answer their questions. Even if they seem mature and understand a lot, for them mom and dad are not a woman and a man. It may not be correct to say this, but for children, mom and dad have no gender. This is one of the laws of nature, because sexual attraction should not arise between parents and children.
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Emphasize to them that the end of your relationship does not mean that dad will stop being a dad or you will stop being a mom. It’s just that now you will each live your own life. You will probably have a new relationship. Tell them about this possibility right away, so they have time to prepare mentally. Otherwise, they can greatly ruin your relationship with a new man.
And then answer the questions. Even if they ask the same question 5 times in a row, just answer without irritation. It's not that they don't understand, it's that they find it difficult to accept.
But it may also be that your children will breathe a sigh of relief when you talk about divorce. They probably already realized that such relationships are painful for them. Then you can definitely cast aside all doubts about the correctness of your decision.
What to do if the children are hysterical and don’t want to “leave daddy”? Is it worth giving in to their persuasion and continuing to endure? No, if you decided to leave, then you had your reasons. A good husband and a caring father are far from the same thing. So if a man as a husband does not suit you, then you should not stay with him just because he is a good father. Let him remain a good father even after the divorce.
But it may happen that after a breakup, the husband stops communicating with the children. After all, now we need to make more efforts for this. As soon as you notice a similar trend, begin to carefully prepare your children that dad is very busy, went on a business trip, or is simply tired. Gradually reduce the number of mentions of it. This will make it easier for children to cope with the loss of his attention.
How to decide to break up
The decision to leave your spouse will be correct only when it is made in peace. Weigh everything. Think about what your life will be like after the breakup, whether it will be better for you.
If your spouse begins to insult you or be rude, do not justify him. Even in the most difficult periods, a husband must treat his beloved wife with respect.
When you break up, listen to your feelings.
If you have a child or even two together, you need to gather courage and decide to leave. The fact that you swear and make trouble all the time will not make them feel better.
Going through a divorce is never easy. To avoid getting depressed, use our tips. It describes the first steps towards happiness, how to behave, what to do during pregnancy, and much more. etc.
It is important to know what can prevent you from forgetting your ex-husband. Here it is written about the main causes and ways to eliminate them.
Here we discussed how to understand that you have stopped loving your husband. In addition, you will be able to develop the right line of behavior.
If you regret your action, you can always return your ex-husband. Read here whether you should step into the same river twice, how to do it correctly, where to start, what mistakes to avoid.
Selfish husband
It seems you have no formal reasons for dissatisfaction. Your husband is good-looking, earns money, takes care of himself. And he doesn’t beat you, doesn’t humiliate you, or gets drunk with enviable regularity. But it is impossible to live with him. Why?
If a man puts his own interests above the needs of the family, then it is impossible to live with him.
More precisely, you can live with him as long as everything is fine with you. Imagine that a child gets sick. Not bad at all, just ARVI. But he is capricious, has exhausted you physically, and by the evening you are already emotionally drained.
Your husband returns from work and with all his appearance makes you understand that he is not interested in your problems. And in general, he wants to come and see a beautiful wife in a good mood, and not a disheveled aunt with the look of a killed dog.
It's a shame, isn't it? But it’s okay, the child will get better soon, the relationship will improve. What if something more serious happens? Why would you want to live with a person you can't rely on? All the same, nothing will fundamentally change in your life with his absence in it.
How to prepare to leave your spouse
You need to consider who you live with:
- Despot . Photocopy all the necessary documents, collect the available money. Think about where you will run: rent a house or let your loved ones shelter you. Be sure to get a job (if you haven’t worked anywhere before). Use our instructions for leaving a tyrant husband. It says here how to recognize it, where to start, how to prepare, where to run, etc.
- Beloved husband . There are times when a beloved man suddenly becomes abrupt and rude and starts walking to the left. This attitude should not be forgiven. Talk to him, calmly tell him why you want a divorce, find out the reasons for his bad behavior. Find accommodation before you leave. And after leaving, stop all communication with your spouse to make the separation less painful.
- Alcoholic . Before slamming the door, you should not shout or make a scandal. The drinker is not responsible for his actions, so the reaction is unpredictable. Just pack your things and go to rented accommodation or to your relatives while your beloved is not at home.
You are a housewife - first save up money (from change in the store, gifts, for small expenses). Find a place to live for the first time. Call relatives and friends or find a woman who finds herself in the same situation, pay the rent equally.
If you have absolutely nowhere to go , contact a crisis center for women. There they will help you with housing and finding a job.
What to do if you have doubts?
Doubts are in human nature. We are designed in such a way that it is difficult for us to radically change our lives. They retain some general memories of the feelings that were there. You remember the person you fell in love with. And even if now he has nothing in common with what he has become now, then you will doubt. What if he changes again, but now for the better?
Remember the story of Lena and Artyom? So Lena is waiting. Moreover, her husband is with her at home alone and in society - these are 2 completely different people. The second is the life of the party, he is always in a good mood, jokes, and encourages those around him. And many even envy Lena, what a good, cheerful, charming husband she has. It’s just a shame that she lives with the first person, and only sees the second when visiting.
| (positive points) | – (more positive than negative) |
| – (more negative than positive) | — (strictly negative points) |
The more factors you write down on the top line, the more it will keep you close to your husband. Just don’t include criteria related to appearance, pay attention to character and actions. If a man is dark-haired with brown eyes and a good figure, this does not mean that he is a good person.
How to tell a man that I want to leave him without a scandal
To break up painlessly, do not create scandals and hysterics, and do not talk about your spouse’s shortcomings. Just say, “Sorry, we need to break up. We are not suitable for each other. You are a good man, but you and I have different goals in life.”
If your spouse offended you and often hurt you, say: “I am no longer going to live with you and endure your bullying. I have no choice but to leave."
An alcoholic husband may not immediately notice your departure. In this case, it is better to leave in English without saying anything.
