10/21/2020 Alena Masheva Health
Emotional incontinence - this can be briefly called a temper of temper. Repeated studies by scientists show that a hot temper manifests itself not only as acquired as a result of something, it can manifest itself from birth, as it is laid down at the genetic level. Therefore, if parents in childhood may not have noticed, missed, or were too lazy to help their child suppress this quality, then at a more mature age it will be more difficult for a person to cope on his own.
Characteristics of a hot-tempered person
How is a hot-tempered person so different from a calm one? A hot-tempered person, faced with some kind of problem, will lose his temper, that is, show his irritability, aggression, resentment, and so on. He will try to solve it with practical methods under the influence of negative emotions, and every time he does not succeed, he will become even more angry and blame for his unsuccessful attempts, first of all, not himself, but circumstances, other people, and will take it out on loved ones. While a balanced and calm person, when making a decision to eliminate a problem, will first think about all the solutions, weigh the pros and cons, and only when he is absolutely sure will he begin to act. In this case, of course, there is a greater chance of solving the problem when there are clear tactics and plans. “Measure twice, cut once” is the main way to solve the problem, but, unfortunately, it is emotional incontinence that prevents hot-tempered people from understanding this truth.
Ways to deal with temper
If you want to eradicate this negative character trait, a person must understand how to get rid of temper:
- first we need to analyze the causes of these inappropriate outbreaks;
- draw appropriate conclusions;
- Based on this, try to adjust your behavior.
If the cause of irascibility is chronic overfatigue and overstrain, then the best way is good, preferably active rest, quality long-term sleep, and doing what you love.
Communicating with nature, with animals, and playing sports, especially those associated with good physical activity, relieves stressful situations well.
If a specific person is an irritant, it makes sense to reduce communication with her to a minimum, if it is not possible to avoid contact with her altogether.
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If some actions or phrases of a certain person are an irritant, you need to simply, openly and calmly talk to him about it and, perhaps, the problem will be eliminated.
If the reason for your temper lies in yourself, you need to accustom yourself to the idea that no two people are equally correct. Instead of correcting someone's behavior and life principles, we should try to learn to control our emotions. In such cases, the method of “good memories” has a good effect.
You need to have some small thing with you associated with a pleasant event in life. When a feeling of internal boiling comes, it is worth touching this thing and remembering everything connected with it. This helps you master your emotions and cope with the onset of temper.
Male and female temperament
Most often, a hot temper can be observed in men. In most cases, it manifests itself in the form of irritability and aggression. In addition, increased temperament, which is characterized by anger, is quite common.
Anger is a negative and strong feeling that occurs when a person is extremely dissatisfied with something.
Here you can make a certain chain of what hot temper can lead to: irritability - anger - aggression. When a person gets irritated, he can simply grumble something with dissatisfaction and squint his eyes in the direction of the irritant. At the next stage of anger, he may already raise his tone, scream and nervously gesticulate. At the third stage, when he is in the stage of aggression, actions take place that begin with a scream and can lead to assault, including possible damage to furniture or objects around that are nearby at that moment.
As for women's temper, everything is much more interesting. Basically it consists of resentment and hysteria. Often women consciously take advantage of resentment, since this is the most common way of manipulating other people. Sometimes women deny their offense, not seeing that with all their actions they show exactly the opposite. As for hysteria, aggression may well be present here; the actions are no different from men’s, except that women are more prone to physical self-control. Also a very important factor in women's temper is that sometimes they are not entirely able to control it, and this happens during certain phases of the menstrual cycle.
Causes of temper
There can be many reasons for unbridled temper.
- Nervous overstrain. A person speaks out in an intemperate manner, flares up with anger seemingly without reason, becomes angry and even aggressive. Of course, in such a state it is impossible to control your actions and words. Excessive temper can be provoked by regular lack of sleep, constant anxiety, accumulated fatigue, or any problems in life.
- Destructive habits - alcohol or drug abuse, improper low-calorie diet, vitamin deficiency.
- Low self-esteem - a person experiences discomfort within himself, he is dissatisfied with himself and, as a result, lashes out at others.
- Physiological factors - health status often plays a cruel joke on a person. Attacks of temper and aggression can provoke diseases of the digestive system, diabetes, problems with the thyroid gland, and mental disorders.
- Hormonal changes - hot temper and hysteria as its manifestation - are characteristic of women during pregnancy and menopause. Men become overly irritable, and even aggressive, during a period of decreased testosterone production by the body.
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We should not forget that hot temper, as a character trait, can be inherited.
Uncontrolled temper can gradually develop into a habit, become a character trait and, ultimately, poison the life of a person and his family and destroy his career.
Psychologists claim that a person can drive unexpressed emotions inside himself and thereby give impetus to the development of serious mental illnesses.
But still, a reasonable person should be aware of his problems and look for ways to solve them.
Genetic predisposition
Have you ever wondered why people's bad character is often called bad heredity? A group of German scientists from the University of Bonn, led by Martin Reuter, conducted a study on this issue. They discovered a certain gene, which today is called “rs907094”. The carriers of this gene are most often precisely those people who are most susceptible to hot temper.
The same scientists found out, as a result of studying the human brain, that in people who took the survey and were prone to hot temper, the left amygdala in the temporal lobe of the brain was enlarged, and it is this part that is responsible for the manifestation of emotions.
Loneliness is a consequence of temper
Hot temper and aggressiveness are those human traits that others try to avoid when choosing an interlocutor, comrade, friend or partner. After all, who likes it when people constantly take it out on you? Hot temper is a quality that not many are willing to put up with, and, as a rule, the family suffers the most from it. By the way, in ordinary situations, people with this character trait are no different from balanced people. But as soon as they get into any stressful situation, their true self immediately appears.
Hot temper and irritability are qualities that calm people do not want to face. It’s hard to be friends with a hot-tempered person, but it’s even harder to be in a relationship and build a family. In the end, the calmer person will have to give in and let the other “steer” the situation so that he will be less irritated. Especially hot-tempered people take it very seriously when someone does not share their point of view, if it is important to them. As a result, people with a more balanced emotional state have to sacrifice their interests and principles. As the famous saying goes: “Love is evil, you will love and...”.
Temper is not a diagnosis
People with an unstable emotional state are often called hot-tempered. For no apparent reason, they move from laughter to tears, from joy to rage. Their hot temper may raise suspicions of mental illness, or may be perceived as a peculiar character trait.
Such emotional instability manifests itself in both behavior and thoughts. So, their morning can start easily and well, but as the day progresses and difficulties of varying degrees appear, the conditions change to sharply opposite ones. It is difficult for them to control themselves, they explode into hysterics at the first opportunity: whether there is a traffic jam on the road, a not very polite salesperson, or something simply does not go the way they want. Such people resemble children who have not yet learned to be patient and consider the needs of other people.
This is partly true: such hysteria indicates immaturity and underdevelopment of the personality. And also that before us is a person with a visual vector that is in an unhealthy state.
The visual vector gives a person great emotionality: it is absolutely normal if, after watching a melodrama, his eyes are filled with sincere tears, and after a minute, seeing a positive picture, they sparkle with joy.
In addition, “vision” requires attention to its person, which is normal for still developing children, but not very normal for adults, who should already have developed to a higher level. A child with a visual vector is in dire need of the mother's attention. If this attention is not given enough, he will begin to achieve his goal with hysterics and whims, thereby showing a hot temper. Reminds me of our hot-tempered adult?
Unfortunately, most parents do not know that the best “cure” for such behavior is the development of vector properties: a child with a visual vector must be taught empathy and compassion, thanks to which innate emotionality will be directed not inward (with constant demands for attention to oneself), but outward (with worries FOR OTHERS). A “spectator” who knows how to love and sympathize will not be hot-tempered and hysterical, since he will not experience frustration and lack.
Intermittent temper disorder
This disorder can most often be found in the stronger half of humanity. Signs include aggression, verbal abuse, uncontrollable anger, and assault. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is a mental health disorder and requires immediate treatment, otherwise the consequences can be very different. Outbursts of anger and aggression most often affect people who are nearby - colleagues, friends, family. Because of this disorder, other mental disorders may appear - alcoholism and drug addiction, which can further worsen a person’s situation.
Temper is empty
If a person flares up out of the blue, this is an empty temper. It is often equated to a bad habit. And it arises as a result of the increased attention of parents and grandparents to the child. Such children most often achieve what they want by crying and hysterics. Accordingly, this habit remains as one grows up. A mature person begins to think that if he just shouts at someone, all his problems will immediately be solved. Thus, the cause may be not only the gene, but also upbringing.
Temper is justified
How can you explain the other - justified irascibility? This is a conscious temper that arises as a result of the fact that, for example, object A did not fulfill what object B instructed him to do. Example: an employee systematically does not fulfill the requirements that were established. In this situation, the boss has the right to lose his temper, because the employee does not respond to comments. Also, if you are asked to do something, and you ignore it several times, be prepared for the fact that next time you will no longer be asked, but, most likely, will raise your tone. Of course, losing your temper is not right, but sometimes it happens that a person simply does not react to normal treatment, in which case justified irascibility is a completely normal reaction.
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Temper: how to deal with it?
How to deal with temper? There are a number of ways, and below we will look at the most basic:
- You need to remember that hot temper is a negative quality in a person, so you can overcome it by switching to something positive. For example, during a stressful situation, close your eyes for a minute or two, take a deep breath and relax. Thus, the imagination will move into the present, and you will no longer be so irritated by the situation, because you no longer feel tense.
- Chat and play with children. With their own, neighbors, nephews, etc. Because children are such little people who are not yet concerned with adult problems, and often it is their outlook on life that helps them see that “the devil is not as terrible as he is portrayed.”
- Shopping is a great way to relieve stress and tension for women. Your legs will hurt instead of your head, but why not treat yourself?
- Sport. Especially if you have frequent outbursts of anger. Boxing and martial arts will help you channel them in the right direction.
- Just get some sleep.
There are actually quite a lot of ways, and everyone can choose the one that suits them. The main thing is to remember that there are no unsolvable problems in our lives.
Source: fb.ru
Hot temper as a personality trait
Hot temper is a tendency to inappropriate, excessive reactions to ordinary stimuli: emotional incontinence, explosive irritability; predisposition to anger.
Hot temper is a distraction of the mind to steal emotions. In a calm state, the mind controls the manifestation of feelings and emotions, and only during temporary insanity, which is what hot temper is, negative destructive emotions flow into space. The heart rate increases, blood pressure rises, and a powerful surge of adrenaline occurs. If you don’t slow down in time, you can smoothly transition into a state of anger in many of its manifestations, including extreme ones - rage and rage. Having pumped enormous energy out of a person, a flash of temper throws him into a state of despondency, exhausted, devastated, defenseless and gloomy. The friends of short temper are ardor, impatience, anger, imbalance and irritability.
Losing his mind for a while, a person practically does not control himself, becomes weak-willed, and therefore loses respect in the eyes of others. Hot temper neutralizes the ability to make the right decisions, pushes one to rash actions, worsens a person’s well-being, provokes problems, leads to hysteria and ends with a feeling of shame.
Hot temper is characterized by an instant jump from a calm state to an extremely excited, agitated and impulsive state. Temperament plays a significant role and cannot be discounted. Hot temper is a personality without “brakes”. Every person hundreds of times a day has to consciously or unconsciously make a choice about how to react to a particular situation in life. The right to choose is a huge gift of fate, an invaluable advantage of a conscious individual. For example, on the tram we were pushed and at the same time they commented impolitely on the push. A person has a choice of how to react to the situation - get into an argument with a tram boor or ignore the provocation. It takes a split second to think about what to do. Hot temper, no one knows for what sins, is deprived of the greatest advantage of the individual - the right to choose . Without a moment's hesitation, she flares up, sharply raises her voice, tears at her vest, actively gesticulates, in a word, gets angry with all her might. In other words, there is no “safety valve” between the event and the reaction to it in the form of the right to choose. The irritant, freely bypassing the filters of consciousness, directly affects the sensitive centers of a person, causing an outbreak of temper. There are countless reasons for hot temper, but there is only one reason - the impossibility and inability to make a choice on how to react to life events.
The trigger for a temper can be any trifle, but, first of all, it is anger, fueled by condemnation. Lacking self-control and mental stability, it is easy for a person to “ignite” when encountering ignorance that does not want to actively listen, constantly interrupting and objecting. Bad mood, stress, overwork, fear and anxiety can be a good springboard for a temper. In other words, the cause of irascibility can be any object or situation in the external world that is given excessive significance.
Hot temper has many enemies in the form of philanthropy, kindness, tolerance, understanding and the ability to forgive. The antidote to it is kindness, wisdom and self-control. It is a quickly passing emotion, and this must be used. It is very important to catch the first moment of temper and not allow the spark to flare up into a flame. For this, a person needs to be distracted, like a child, from the subject of the conversation and kept in the arsenal of available means - calmness and reconciliation.
The life of a hot-tempered person cannot be called safe. What kind of safety can we talk about if a person has no “brakes”. A striking example of irascibility is the great artist Caravaggio. A man of violent temperament, rude, courageous and independent. The artist’s hot-tempered and quarrelsome disposition gave rise to constant clashes with others, which often ended in a fight, a duel or a blow with a sword. For this he was repeatedly prosecuted and imprisoned. In 1606, Caravaggio, in a quarrel that broke out during a ball game, killed his opponent and fled from Rome. Finding himself in Naples, he moved from there to Malta in search of work, where, after staying for a year, he was accepted into the order thanks to the patronage of the grandmaster, whose portrait he painted. However, for grossly insulting one of the leaders of the order, Caravaggio was thrown into prison, escaped from it and worked for some time in the cities of Sicily and again in Naples. In the hope of the pope's forgiveness, he went by sea to Rome. Wrongly arrested by the Spanish border guards and robbed by carriers, the artist fell ill with malaria and died in 1610, thirty-six years old.
