The Internet is full of instructions on “How to find a job,” but not so much advice on “How to quit.” And those that exist cover mainly the legal rather than the psychological aspect of the issue. Meanwhile, making a decision to quit is often much more difficult than accepting a job offer. We are designed in such a way that it is easier for us to take and start something new than to put an end to the existing one. Especially if the disadvantages of this existing one are not so clear. If you are one of those who just can’t decide to part with their employer, I hope my instructions with elements of self-psychotherapy will help you sort out the pros and cons.
How to accurately determine when it's time for you to quit
Causes
To make the decision to quit, it is important and necessary to understand why you need it. There are things that make you stay in a job you don’t like, and there are things that make you quit. Each person has their own reasons for both, and there is no need to be guided by someone else’s opinion. Determine exactly your reasons. Make a list of them. You can, for example, record in a notebook for a month what you like about your activity and what you don’t like. By the end of the scheduled period, you will probably have a solid list, in which, most likely, what you don’t like will prevail, otherwise the thought of quitting would not have arisen. The more reasons you provide, the stronger your motivation to make a decision.
At the end of the month, take time, sit down and think about everything carefully. Realize what is driving you: only the fear of leaving your “home” place or is there something really significant that makes it worth staying. Evaluate your arguments. And if the disadvantages outweigh, this is the first sign that you need to quit. And this needs to be done as soon as possible. The main thing is to simply make a decision and get off the beaten path, believing with all your heart that you can overcome all new obstacles.
Why is it so hard to quit?
Someone might object: what kind of problem is this? If you want to quit, quit, if you don’t want to, keep working. Why suffering? Of course, for many people such a solution is not a problem at all. They do not tend to become attached to either the company or their colleagues, and easily change jobs once a year, telling the employer: “Nothing personal, just business.” But there are other people with a different story - the story of relationships.
Who finds it difficult to decide to quit?
Firstly , for those who grew up in the company. If you came to work as a green student and all your professional successes are connected with this organization, then it is very difficult to just get up and leave. Even if you understand that you have reached your career ceiling at this point, you simply have no options to move on. In this case, dismissal is perceived as leaving the family, and it still seems to you that nowhere else will be as good as “at home.”
Secondly , for those who have worked in one place for a long time and productively. For example, he completed several complex projects, was repeatedly recognized as a valuable employee, significantly influenced the situation in the company, or helped survive a crisis. It is difficult for such people to quit because they are haunted by the feeling of “throwing the result of my work to the mercy of fate.” They often feel that as soon as they leave, their carefully cultivated garden will be destroyed and trampled.
Thirdly , for those who find it difficult to start and maintain relationships. In the lives of such people there are a limited number of close, comfortable connections, and all of them are very valuable. Therefore, any situation in which it is expected to abandon an already proven relationship and enter into a new one is uncomfortable for them. Moreover, the problem haunts such people all their lives. As children, moving to a new city or even region seemed like the end of the world. Changing schools was so scary that it was easier to travel across the city. Friends at the institute appeared only in the third year, because the first two all just silently looked at each other and did not know what to talk about. In adulthood, making friends is even more difficult. Therefore, if a good relationship has developed with colleagues, this connection turns out to be so strong that it overshadows even the obvious reasons to quit.
Emotional attachments prevent a person from making a decision, and every time he asks himself the question “Isn’t it time for me to look for a new job?”, his brain automatically gives out a million reasons not to do this. How to get out of this mental trap?
New activity
If you have made a firm decision to leave your old job, then it is obvious that you do not need to change your mind and get a new one, which in a couple of weeks will again be a burden to you. A new activity (namely an activity) must certainly please you and give you pleasure. You should definitely strive for this, because... Only in such activities can you achieve serious results, and your life will become happier.
Keep in mind that a new way of earning money will in any case take up a lot of your time (at least at the start). But be guided by your preferences and what you really like. Find something you want to do with all your heart. All successful and happy people say that what they love will not only be a joy every day, but will also bring financial well-being. You just need to have the courage to take a step forward. And it makes sense to listen to these people, because they already have what you want to have.
Useful tips
Look at the lucky ones who were able to turn a hobby into a highly profitable activity. They wanted to and made themselves: they set the work schedule, the level of income. There are difficulties and pitfalls everywhere. The main thing is not to be afraid to take risks. Until you finish the old, the new will not appear on the horizon.
If you have doubts about whether to leave or stay, then you shouldn’t quit abruptly. In a week you will forget the disadvantages of work, it will seem like “paradise”, so the blues will come and you will want to return to a cozy place. And then everything will start all over again.
Ideal option: try to find a job in your free time . You can monitor sites on weekends or evenings when you have a free minute. Build the foundation for the future. Quitting is much easier when there is a place where you are welcome.
Write a resume. This will make your search easier and free you from viewing vacancies. A correctly and competently written resume with good education and experience is a guarantee that the employer will find you. In this case, you can stay at your old job, but mentally imagine yourself in a new place. This will ease mental stress. Remember: thoughts are material. Add more positivity to your life.
Your skills and abilities
Once a new activity is identified, it is necessary to evaluate your abilities from a critical point of view. Take a piece of paper and write on it everything that you think will be useful to you in your endeavors. Write down absolutely everything. Even what seems naive or ridiculous at first glance. Relate this to a new activity and concentrate on the fact that it will become a happy release from problems and failures for you.
This practice will not only give you confidence in yourself and your abilities, but will also strengthen your conviction that you are on the right path. And a positive attitude affects absolutely everything in our lives.
Waiting for pension
If you have no more than 5 years left, then they simply do not have the right to fire you. Actually, this is the reason for employers’ reluctance to hire people over 50 years of age. On the other hand, the labor pension is just around the corner, but it still needs to be earned. Yes, and experience will also not be superfluous.
But approaching this age also has a downside. This means you either need to deal with your fears today and find your dream job, or you don’t want to go anywhere, even if they drop hints. What fears prevent you from doing this:
- Fear of remaining unemployed or finding an option even worse than before.
- Fear of ceasing to be significant.
- Possibility of receiving a lower salary.
To stop being afraid of being unemployed, you need to work on your self-esteem. Actually, even a labor pension is not an obstacle. Many continue to work and receive wages.
Airbag
This point is very important and needs to be given primary attention. An airbag is what will allow you to overcome difficulties at the stage when you quit and remain “free floating”. At first, a new activity may not be profitable or may not generate the income that you need and that is familiar to you. Therefore, when you are planning to quit, you should have some savings in reserve. In general, it is recommended to have an amount equal to six of your salaries at your previous place, i.e. an amount that can cover the costs of six unemployed months. But for many, saving even that much money is unrealistic. If you consider yourself one of these, then find an opportunity to provide for at least three months. Firstly, if you are able to work at your current job for another three or four months, you can start saving a little. Secondly, take into account your future payment from the employer. Estimate these amounts and add them up: if you manage to cover the basic costs, then you can safely quit. Remember, without an airbag, it is better not to take risks, but to take care of creating one. Although, of course, there are those who take risks.
Sources of fear
In the modern world, the search for stability comes first for both men and women. The job market is very diverse, but finding high-paying jobs is difficult. Every year, thousands of specialists join labor exchanges, and experienced employees of promising companies hold on to their places with all their might. A resignation letter for such an employee is akin to punishment. Dismissal, like all subsequent changes, horrifies the individual.
Where does the fear of quitting come from? A person is an individual who received education from her parents, gained experience and developed the principles that determine her way of life. Her primary task is self-realization, that is, finding her place in life. Money, as one of the decisive factors in choosing a job, influences the assessment of the current place of work. But even good salaries and the prospect of growth do not always satisfy the individual. For a number of reasons, she is afraid of losing her usual place and going in search of new positions.
Plan
Before you joyfully throw your resignation letter at your boss’s desk, think about a plan of action. It should include everything you will do after you are left without work and without income. Even if you want to take a week off first, this should be included in your plan. By the way, a little rest is very good and recommended. During this time, you will relax, restore strength and put your thoughts in order. Then you need to start taking active action.
Your plan should detail all your next steps and goals you want to achieve. Whatever the new activity, you need to think through all the possibilities for its implementation, where you can go, who can help, what you personally can do. Engage in strategic planning: a week of action to achieve a goal, four weeks to achieve a larger goal, two months to achieve an even greater goal, etc.
Without a clear plan, you risk getting into trouble, i.e. use up your savings, go into debt, fail to find an opportunity to realize your potential, start a new search for the “old” job and return to what you wanted to leave, but in an even worse form. Remember that your plan is your way of moving from your previous life to the desired one.
Fear #2: I will lose my social circle
For me, this was worse than the loss of income. Over the years of working in the company, I made real friends and good buddies there. I was very happy and pleased when I came to the office in the morning, greeted my colleagues, exchanged a few phrases with some of them, and learned the latest news. This created an atmosphere of a strong inner circle. I thought that I would find myself in social isolation if I left the office. But nothing like that happened. This is why a startuper definitely doesn’t face a lack of communication:
1) You can restore old connections. During my time working at the corporation, I almost lost friends from university, school, and previous jobs. I simply had no time to go to meetings. Either a business trip, or an emergency, or simply no strength. When I quit, I promised myself that now I would have time for family, friends and hobbies. And now I have it.
2) There are many interest groups on Facebook: groups of startups, small business owners, women entrepreneurs, various industry communities. Join, read, communicate, share. At first it will be online dating, but then you will become virtualized at forums and conferences (see the next point).
3) At first I went to conferences as a participant, then, having met some of the organizers, I began to speak as a speaker. Each event is a new acquaintance with people from your field and an opportunity to develop existing ones.
4) You will have to communicate a lot with clients and partners. In my business, it is important that my clients share my values. When people with common values meet, they most often become either friends or just good friends. It's the same with partners. If you enjoy working together, then you will periodically meet in the same company.
I can say with relief that my second fear was not justified. On the contrary, my social circle has become wider and more diverse, and I am happier.
Dismissal!
So, you have gone through all the previous stages. To summarize:
- Understand the reasons for dismissal
- Have you thought about what you will do?
- Define your skills and abilities
- Created an airbag
- Made an action plan
Now you can quit. But first you need to do some thorough work on yourself. First, feel your condition: imagine that you quit and listen to your feelings. If you feel light and happy, this is an indicator of your readiness to quit. Secondly, imagine all your future actions: if you feel a charge of cheerfulness, confidence and positive emotions, this is an indicator of the correctness of your actions. Thirdly, do not let the nostalgic moods and melancholy that so often accompany a person upon dismissal turn you back - these are momentary experiences that will soon pass, and they will be replaced by new ones.
Now take a piece of paper and a pen and write the long-awaited application for gaining freedom and happiness, i.e. for dismissal. Take it to your boss and, without any regrets or doubts, hand it directly into his hands. This will solve your first and main problem. New worries await you ahead, but along with them there will be new achievements, new results and the feeling that YOU ARE THE FULL OWNER OF YOUR LIFE .
Throw aside all fears and doubts, leave aside the opinions of all those who say that you are wrong and that you will not succeed, believe in yourself and your strengths, wake up and move forward! And if you have questions “What if...?”, just think about the fact that you can hang your head and hands, burst into tears and remain living “for your uncle,” but then all your dreams and plans will not come true. Be brave. “Courage is the strongest desire to live, taking the form of a readiness to die” (Gilbert Chesterton).
We also recommend reading:
- Storytelling
- How to enjoy work
- 15 Questions to Help You Find Purpose in Life
- When to quit
- 8 Criteria for Accepting a Job Offer
- How to make the right decision
- How to choose a job you like
- Best office apps for Android
- Documents that everyone should have
- Time management skills
- Companions of failure
Key words:1Self-knowledge
Carefully weigh the pros and cons
The worst decisions are impulsive ones. When, after a quarrel with a colleague or an unsuccessful planning meeting, you emotionally write a letter of resignation. Never do this. Because the emotions will subside, and you will lose your job.
Therefore, we advise you to take a balanced approach to making such decisions. Write down honestly for yourself all the pros and cons of leaving. For example:
Count the lines in both columns. If the difference is obvious, this will help you decide. Of course, the financial side is one of the determining factors, but it is also important to rely on your inner comfort. Working without motivation, when your eyes don’t sparkle, is several times harder than when earning money also brings moral satisfaction. So don't put your feelings last.
