About truth and truth. How to learn to tell the truth? Five Levels of Truth-Telling. Esoterics

There are people who like to tell the truth. Everyone. No request. Tell someone that her legs are crooked, someone that she’s a bad cook, someone that she should go to a psychologist. Most often, such people are women; men are more indifferent to details. Although I know one man who has what is on his mind and on his tongue. And he regularly says to his subordinates:

You've gotten old somehow
Your hair is stupid
You look like you're drunk
You're kind of fat
Your dress is terrible

And so on. And everything is in between. First about work - then such a compliment - and then again about work. His employees are, of course, shocked. And who wouldn’t be shocked by this? Although in some ways he is right. In my own way.

Is this kind of truth-telling compatible with femininity? What about harmony? Love? As a person who struggles with truth-telling within himself, I will say - definitely not. Doesn't fit at all.

Telling the truth is important. But the vector should always be directed towards itself. Tell the truth about yourself. Because you don’t know the truth about others and you can’t know. Before you condemn someone, you need to go through his path from beginning to end. To understand and pass through yourself.

Stop telling everyone the truth about everything

When we forget that the truth is only important about ourselves, different things happen. Scandals, quarrels, misunderstandings.

A wife who describes her husband's responsibilities is right in everything. And he speaks the truth. But the relationship is destroyed. Because that's not the truth she should care about.

The mother who gives her daughter feedback that her new boyfriend is an idiot is correct and telling the truth. But does this improve her relationship with her daughter? Does this make the mother more respectable and trustworthy in her daughter's eyes?

A friend who, in response to your tears, diagnoses you and tries to therapy you without asking, is also unlikely to remain your friend for long. Because it is difficult, impossible to communicate with such people. Like in a minefield, don’t say anything unnecessary so as not to run into trouble.

What about with strangers? It's all the same with them. She told the truth and moved on. If you don't know about karma, it looks beautiful. But if we remember that all the feelings of other people will return to us, it becomes clear that it will not pass.

Trolls who think their comments online will go unpunished are mistaken. There is a higher justice, and every tear of another person will be returned to you. From another place, but will return. Everything in the universe is accurate.

Every time I started telling the truth to someone or got involved in such clarifications, I always got hit in the face. Illnesses – yours and your children’s, quarrels with your husband, financial losses. I didn’t always correlate one and the other.

There was a period in my life when, having read a lot about psychology, I “treated” everyone. I told my friends what problems they had with mom and dad, what complexes they had. Sometimes it was shocking. A friend comes to put up wallpaper, and I “treat” her in the meantime.

Did it have an effect? No. Because resistance turned on in the person. And even my very good “truth” did not reach me. And the truth is, it always seems good and correct. To the one who wants to express it. But for the one to whom it is spoken, it is most often painful and unpleasant. Therefore, such truth-telling destroys relationships.

What is the general purpose of this behavior? Why do we want to tell everyone the truth? And to whom do we say it more often than others?

1. Pride. If I catch someone else doing something, then I become cooler. If I tell someone else something that he doesn’t see, I’ll be smarter, cooler and all that. I'll feed my false ego. I will be like the Lord God.

2. The desire to increase your self-esteem. And the more important in a certain environment a person about whom I “know” the truth is, the more points of self-esteem I can get. Therefore, they usually attack famous people (Vasya Pupkin is usually indifferent to everyone). And in our marathon only the most popular ones are attacked.

3. Envy. Usually, the more envy I feel towards someone, the more truth I want to tell about him. It’s not immediately obvious what exactly I envy, but it’s always there.

4. Negative emotions . In order to become happy, you need to get rid of the accumulated burden of negativity in your heart. But how? What if there is no culture of conveying emotions? If you can’t block it inside? If astrological exacerbations occur, when does it pour out everywhere? I have to pour it out. Where it seems safe. On the Internet, for example. Fill different sites with your bile, for example. So feminists go to my site and curse at me, foaming at the mouth. They just want to be happy.

5. Own pain . Not everyone wants to tell the truth. And to someone specific, in a specific situation. Why? Yes, because it resonates strongly. You can already think about it, fantasize, and draw conclusions. Only the conclusions will be about me, and not about the one to whom I say this.

6. The myth that being right brings happiness. Where does this idea come from? That he is only happy if he wins. And winning always means that someone will lose. Someone needs to be defeated by me for me to be happy. But this model is not for women. It’s not a woman’s business to win. We must learn to love. And love and rightness are too conflicting concepts.

Arguments from life and literature on the topic “What is truth”

People often have to look for the truth in life, speak, be afraid of it, reckon with it, so one day it’s worth thinking about the question “What is truth?”, for which we have selected arguments from life and literature, since this question often becomes the topic for the final essay , for essays-reasonings on the OGE and the Unified State Exam in the Russian language. We turned to the works of famous literary classics, statements of great people, folk wisdom, and also gave examples from life. They will help in preparing for an important test in the life of any school graduate.

Problem

What is truth? Can a person live without it?

The author's attitude to the problem

Truth is what exists in reality, corresponds to the real state of affairs. This is what is the greatest good for a person and makes him live on, and the greatest evil that can kill the strongest person.

Arguments

Truth is an undistorted, unembellished truth.
Telling the truth is not always easy.
Sometimes the truth can kill a person.
The truth has great power.
To fight for the truth, you need to be a persistent person.
Morally pure people love the truth, but the spiritually poor flee from it.
Truth is immortal; it can wait in the wings for many years.

Synonyms for truth

Justice, truth, goodness, right, homespun.

Epithets for the word truth

Merciless, impartial, immortal, indisputable, priceless, big, great, eternal, universal, nationwide, all-human, fictional, deep, naked, bitter, formidable, rough, burning, cruel, living, vital, everyday, familiar, true, historical, bleeding, wise, courageous, naked, folk, real, sad, unforgettable, ineradicable, unfading, irrefutable, indisputable, irresistible, immutable, indisputable, unvarnished, undisguised, unpleasant, undoubted, imperishable, accusatory, ordinary, naked, obvious, sad, genuine, real, sharp, light, holy, sacred, perfect, terrible, strict, severe, existing, precise, tragic, sober, terrible, comforting, cold, human, pure, clear, hostile, all-permissive, small, truthful, ardent, disjointed, fatal.

Arguments from literature

M.A. Bulgakov "The Master and Margarita". Each person has his own idea of truth. Some people search for it throughout their lives, fight for it, suffer and even die, while others adapt to everyone’s lies and never remember the truth. We come to this conclusion by reading works of fiction. One of the writers who was concerned with questions of truth was M.A. Bulgakov. In his famous sunset novel “The Master and Margarita,” the author talks about the attitude of writers and poets, his contemporaries, to the truth. He writes with bitterness that among the creative brethren there are representatives who counterfeit instructions from above. Their works are mediocre and uninteresting, but they correspond to the spirit of the times and ideological principles. M.A. Bulgakov showed such writers in the form of members of MASSOLIT. For them, the main thing is not the search for the truth, but obtaining the coveted certificate of a member of the literary association, which gives them the right to enjoy various benefits: vouchers to a sanatorium or a summer vacation in a literary village near Moscow, the opportunity to improve their living conditions, get into “Griboedov” and taste pike perch. They sincerely believe that Pushkin, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy and other great writers were lucky, just like the Red Army soldier who was shot in the leg and thereby ensured immortality was lucky. Envy, deception, lies, and slander flourish among them, so for them, poor in soul, the search for truth is just an empty, meaningless sound. These “servants of art” are opposed by the Master. He has neither a first nor a last name, since this M.A. Bulgakov emphasizes that his hero is a real genius and talent. The master writes a novel about Pontius Pilate, a work that does not correspond to generally accepted standards and patterns of the time and the ideology of the state. But truth is important for the Master. He painfully searches for her, suffers for her, just like the hero of his novel Yeshua Ha-Nozri. He is not attracted to the beaten path of false art, so no torment could force the Master to abandon the depiction of the truth. Reading the novel by M.A. Bulgakov, you come to the conclusion that truth and real art are inseparable. To be a true master, you must not be afraid to tell the truth.
A.T. Tvardovsky “By the right of memory.” A.T. Tvardovsky is a poet who, undoubtedly, is interesting and useful for all generations to read. In the poem “By Right of Memory,” he exposes the harsh and merciless historical truth about dispossession, the reprisal of the “leader of the peoples” against his own prisoners of war, and the expulsion of entire peoples from their homelands. The truth that he tells burned his soul for many years, did not leave him alone, worried him, so he is unable to keep silent about it. This truth was suffered by the poet, since we are talking not only about the fate of the people, but also about the fate of his family and his own fate. With bitterness A.T. Tvardovsky talks about the tragedy of the “branded sons,” whose fathers were declared “enemies of the people.” He talks about those same fathers, peasant workers. Their hands were covered with eternal calluses because they had to earn their bread through hard work. It was not easy for these people to break away from their homes and, by “blind and wild judgment,” end up where, as the author says, “frost hangs from the barracks walls and ceiling.” The poet blames the tragedy of thousands of sons and fathers, among whom he and his parent were, Stalin and his followers, who propose to forget about these terrible pages of history. But it is impossible to forget about them, because they left a terrible mark on his soul. The poet also tells the truth about those who during the war wanted to remove the stigma of being the son of an enemy of the people and earn their share of glory, but the share of those who were captured was not enviable. These received a double stigma. Reading the work of confession, you are surprised at how much the poet had to endure and suffer, what bitter “healing infusion” of life to drink and what terrible lessons to learn. That is why, he believes, everyone should know the truth.
N.M. Karamzin "Poor Liza". The truth has enormous power, it can kill the strongest person, lead to tragedy, to death. Famous Russian writer N.M. Karamzin, the founder of Russian sentimentalism, in the story “Poor Liza” tells a touching love story between the poor peasant woman Liza and the rich nobleman Erast. The main character of the work is a beautiful, kind, attentive and hardworking girl. She is endowed not only with external beauty, but also with internal beauty. Lisa has a pure, innocent and honest soul. She sincerely fell in love with Erast, a kind and generous young man. He is an intelligent, well-mannered, courteous young man, with a gentle face and beautiful eyes. Erast also sincerely fell in love with Lisa, and they meet secretly. He promises the girl to leave the city, settle with her in the village and live happily. But, being a frivolous and reckless man, he lost his entire fortune at cards, so he was forced to marry an elderly but rich widow. Erast told Lise that he was going to war. The girl was bored without her lover, constantly thought about him, dreamed of his return, and one day she met him on the street of the city, alive and unharmed. Erast had to tell her the whole truth. About the fact that he had never been in any war and that he was going to marry someone else. For Lisa, the betrayal of her lover was a strong blow. For her, the truth was so bitter and terrible that she could not cope with it and threw herself into the river. Indeed, not every truth can be experienced or accepted. Sometimes it mercilessly knocks a person down, deprives him of the meaning of life and pushes him towards tragedy.
L.N. Tolstoy "After the Ball". It often happens that, living next to a person for many years or often encountering him, we are not aware of his true human qualities, and only random circumstances reveal to us the whole truth about this person. L.N. tells about such a case. Tolstoy in the story “After the Ball.” The reader listens with great interest to the love story of the protagonist. He talks about Varenka, his beloved, and her father. Pyotr Vladislavovich (that was the name of Varenka’s father) was a colonel. He was a tall, stately and handsome old man. Despite his age, he remained a lively, lively and agile man who still danced well. The public opinion about him was that he was a sweet, affectionate and very kind person. It is obvious that he loves his daughter very much, spends all his money on her in order to take her out into the world, although he himself wears old-fashioned boots. It doesn’t even occur to Nikolai Vasilyevich that a loving father, cheerful, kind Pyotr Vladislavovich could be a completely different person. The narrator had to see the colonel on the street one morning while punishing a guilty Tatar. Pyotr Vladislavovich, with his strong hand in a suede glove, brutally beat the short, weak soldier in the face because he did not hit the Tatar hard enough. At the same time, the colonel’s angry, self-confident voice was heard. Varenka's gallant, kind, sweet and kind father was in fact a cruel and despotic man who was not ashamed to raise his hand against someone who had no rights and was weak. The truth revealed to Nikolai Vasilyevich was so cruel and unsightly that it not only disappointed him in his military service, but also killed his feelings for Varenka.

Arguments from life

Truth is immortal. No matter how many years pass, she will definitely wait in the wings. There lived two friends. Together all our lives: at school at our desks, after school at tractor driving courses, then we got jobs together. They worked together, and after work, as young people should, they went dancing at a local club. The guys were prominent, so they immediately found girls for themselves. First, Ivan met Natalya, and then Semyon found Vera. Strong love arose between Semyon and Vera, so after a while they decided to get married. We celebrated a cheerful village wedding and began to live with our little family, not forgetting about our friends. But everything went wrong for Ivan and Natalya. As if he was not himself, he visited Semyon and Vera less and less, and then he was dumbfounded by the news: he was leaving for the North, and had already found a suitable job. I left in the winter, just before the New Year. There were no telephones then, so at first I occasionally wrote to friends about what and how, and then disappeared completely. He didn’t marry for a long time, and then he married a woman with a child, a daughter. Then their common son was born. He came to the village twenty-five years after leaving. Everything was different there, not the same as in his youth. He also visited old friends and during the conversation admitted to Semyon that he left then because he fell in love with Vera. He couldn’t cope with this feeling, but he didn’t want to spoil the friendship or destroy someone else’s happiness, so he left. Now everything is in the past. He loves his family and is quite happy. This is how the truth made itself known after many, many years, because it does not die.
Telling the truth is not always easy, especially when your future fate depends on it. But there have always been and are people who are not afraid to express it openly. Among such people is the Russian poet and writer A.S. Pushkin. He began speaking and “singing the truth” almost immediately after graduating from the Tsarskoye Selo Lyceum. His freedom-loving lyrics spoke about the true situation of the people, the unbearable living conditions of a simple peasant. This became the reason for sending the poet into exile. At first it was the Southern exile, then a few years later it was replaced by Mikhailovskaya. In 1826, an audience was held with the tsar, who, in a conversation with the exiled poet, asked him the question: “Where would he have been during the Decembrist uprising if he had not been in exile?” A.S. Pushkin answered honestly: “Among the Decembrists.” Not everyone would have been able to tell the truth to the king in his place, in his position, but the poet was not afraid. I think brave and honest people with an inner core are capable of this. Deceitful and cowardly people, that is, people without moral principles, would lie to improve their situation.

Arguments from folk wisdom

“A truthful word is stronger than a lion, and a truthful person is more valuable than gold,” says a Russian proverb. It means that truth is powerful and a truthful person is priceless.
“Even when a sword is raised over your head, speak the truth,” says a Russian proverb. It advises to tell the truth and not to renounce it even in moments of danger.
“Whoever stands boldly for the truth accomplishes a great deed,” our ancestors said in a Russian proverb. In their opinion, standing for the truth and defending it means doing a great deed.
“A true word will crush a stone,” says the Russian proverb. It means that a truthful word has enormous power, capable of crushing even a stone.
“Everyone seeks the truth, but not everyone creates it,” says the Russian proverb. She claims that every person seeks the truth, but not every person is able to speak the truth and act truthfully.
“Hold on to the truth - all good people will stick to you,” our ancestors advised. They understood that all good people would understand and support a truthful, honest person.
“Even a mountain will bow before a truthful man, but everyone will hate a liar,” says a Russian proverb. It has the following meaning: a truthful person is respected and revered, but a lying, dishonest person is hated.
“ Whoever fights for a just cause gains double strength,” our ancestors said in a Russian proverb. They noticed that a person who takes up a just cause increases not only physical strength, but also internal, spiritual strength.
“The truth is old, but it does not die, a lie is younger, but it does not live long,” says the Russian proverb. She notes one feature of the truth: although it is as old as the world, it does not die, and a lie, without having time to be born, immediately leaves this world.
“Whoever loses the truth shortens his life,” our ancestors said in a Russian proverb. In their opinion, a person who lives without the truth shuns it and shortens his life.

Aphorisms

“Truth means the victory of conscience in a person,” wrote the famous Russian writer Mikhail Mikhailovich Prishvin. In his opinion, real truth is associated with a clear conscience. The man whose conscience wins is truthful.
“If you tell only the truth, you don’t need to remember anything,” said the American writer Mark Twain. He argued that a person who always tells the truth does not need to have a strong memory to remember everything he said. Deceitful natures need a strong memory to avoid getting into trouble.
“No one could live with a man who constantly spoke the truth; thank God, none of us are in danger,” said the American writer Mark Twain. The famous classic believed that it is difficult to live with a person who speaks only the truth. And he is glad that no one is in such danger, because people still sometimes lie.
“Everyone wants the truth to be on his side, but not everyone wants to be on the side of the truth,” said the English philosopher and economist Richard Whately. He rightly noted that every person wants the truth to be on his side, but not everyone takes the side of the truth when necessary.
“The truth is always difficult to tell, a lie is always easy to listen to,” said French actress Suzanne Broan. In her opinion, it happens that the truth is so bitter and cruel that it is not at all easy to say, but it is always easy to listen to a lie.
“My way of telling jokes is to tell the truth. There is nothing funnier in the world,” wrote the Irish playwright and novelist Bernard Shaw. He claimed that the truth is the funniest thing in the world, so he often jokes.
“Truth is like a bitter drink, unpleasant to the taste, but restoring health,” said the French writer Honore de Balzac. He compared the truth to a bitter medicine, which is very unpleasant to drink, but useful, since it restores health.
“Truth can wait, since it has a long life ahead of it,” wrote the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer. In his opinion, truth is immortal, so it can wait for the moment of its triumph for a very long time.
“Where truth emerges through the fog, deception fails,” wrote the Persian and Tajik poet Ferdowsi. According to him, deception always gives in when the truth emerges.
“The truth requires perseverance: one must stand for the truth or hang on a cross; a person moves towards the truth. We must adhere to the truth - we must seek the truth,” said the Russian writer Mikhail Mikhailovich Prishvin. He believed that truth always requires perseverance, since in order to achieve it, you need to either fight for it or hang on a cross. But when the truth is torn out in battle, you need to hold on to it.

How to tell the truth

Truthfulness is a trait of strong people. But life is designed in such a way that each of us has to lie at times. This could be a white lie, a harmless exaggeration, or concealment of some facts. Be that as it may, any lie has its consequences. And when the time comes to tell the truth , it is difficult and scary. First, let's figure out what kind of lies there are. Many people consider only deliberately untrue facts to be lies, but this is not so. A loyal lie, in which facts are hidden but not replaced, is considered to be omission. Another type of lie is distortion, the substitution of part of the information with a more advantageous one. And deception itself is deliberately untrue information presented as the truth.

The longer a lie is hidden, the greater the consequences it can have, the more difficult it is to admit it, but it is always better to admit your guilt and mistake yourself than to wait for exposure or experience constant pricks of conscience. Let's figure out how to tell the truth, because the truth can also be different.

When you talk about your feelings or your attitude to a situation, to the words of your interlocutor, this is a non-aggressive truth

. This truth is always worth expressing if you want to have sincere relationships with friends and loved ones. This will always be beneficial to communication and will allow it to go in the right direction.

Such truth can be constructed in the form of a so-called “I-message”

, in the first part of which you report your feeling or opinion, and in the second - the reasons for it. This will help not only open up, but also constructively solve the problem. If you find yourself thinking that your feelings are aggressive and your opinions may be offensive, then you kept silent about the problem earlier and allowed it to worsen.

Try to avoid harsh statements

and remember that your opinion may just be a subjective reflection of accumulated emotions, and not the truth. Such statements will not only upset your interlocutor, but will lead to conflict. Therefore, do not get personal, but talk about yourself and your feelings.

Do not demand that your interlocutor understand your feelings, respond to them, or talk about your own. Give him time to think and the right to do his own thing. Learn to distinguish facts from value judgments

. This will not only help you make the right choices about what to say and what to remain silent about, but it will also help you deal with criticism constructively.

It is also important to separate your truth from someone else’s.

and weigh the consequences of revealing and concealing other people's secrets. If it turns out that you have become an unwitting keeper of someone else’s secret, for example, you deceived your friend, then do not rush to go to him with bad news. First, you can talk to the deceiver, let him know that you do not intend to hide what you know, and give him a chance to confess everything on his own. This will not only save the reputation of the deceived, but also soften the blow for your deceived friend.

If the circumstances are such that you yourself are the liar and now you are faced with the question “How to tell the truth?”, then you can be proud of yourself - your conscience is not asleep and you are already on the right path. First, understand yourself, remember and try to understand why you lied

and what made you hide the truth in the future.

If you decide to confess, then be completely frank. Start by stating a true fact, explain the reasons why you lied, and why you are now telling the truth. Don't try to come up with excuses

, if there are none, be completely honest if you are asked questions. Say you're sorry if you really are, and apologize if you feel at fault.

Don’t expect to be instantly understood and forgiven, be patient

to the person to whom you confessed to lying, give him time to think about everything and get used to the new facts. Do not delay confession, because a lie, like a snowball, grows over time and entails new lies.

Confession

- a strong act that commands respect. Even if the truth upsets a person close to you, he will definitely appreciate your desire to be frank, and your conscience will be clear.

What do people like: lies or truth?

Many people advocate that they be told only the truth, that the interlocutors are sincere, and that the world around them is simple and transparent. But studies have been done that show that most people do not actually have warm feelings about the truth. They like to be deceived. And when the truth is revealed, they experience negative feelings or indifference.

Women love intrigue, men love when a woman gives hope. But if the partners showed their cards to each other, then, most likely, their feelings would disappear and they would become bored. A woman loves when a man says only pleasant words to her. Men, try telling women the bitter truth about yourself and see how aggressive your partners become. Let's remember the stories of how men confessed their love to women. The more often a man talks about his love, the more indifferent a woman becomes to him. But if a man loves, but is silent about his feelings, the woman becomes interested in him.

The same can be said about men who love to be intrigued and given hope. Men don't want to know the truth that women don't always like what they do in bed. Men do not want to hear that women are not interested in them, but they are intrigued when their partners gently turn them off.

We can say that people love to be deceived. The truth will bring either disappointment associated with negative emotions, or indifference, since the intrigue will disappear. Of course, we are not talking about all people. The majority are ready to be deceived; only a few strive to learn the truth, no matter how unintriguing and unpleasant it may be. Those who are among the “units” who want to know the truth, on the contrary, experience negative emotions and indifference to deception. They are intrigued by the truth and it gives them a sense of challenge. And this should be taken into account if you come across just such a person.

All people lie. Even you lie to yourself or others. People lie at every opportunity. More precisely, this opportunity arises when a person understands that by telling the truth, he will provoke unfavorable consequences for himself. It is better to deceive than to put yourself in an uncomfortable position.

Why is deception sweeter than the truth? Moreover, it should be noted that a lie is sweet not only for the one who is being deceived, but also for the deceiver. It benefits both sides of the conversation. Only the deceiver knows about his lie, and the one who is being deceived may not realize that he is being lied to. This is the only difference.

Why is a lie sweeter than the truth? It brings benefits. She is nicer and more attractive. A lie is what a person would like to hear. This is what I would like to see in life. But in order not to upset yourself or another person with the realities, it is better to embellish, make the pictures more pleasant to hear and look at.

Deception is sweeter than the truth because it shows the real world in vivid colors. A person always wants to see only good, useful, beneficial for himself. If you show the other side of the coin, you can provoke a conflict, quarrel, disagreement. Why bring it to this point if you can deceive and see a smile on someone else’s face? Everyone lies: they protect themselves, make the world more attractive, and strive to make friends with others. For this reason, people who are honest appear to be cruel and rude. But they tell the truth, which, as it turns out, is more bitter than a lie.

When can you tell the truth?

The truth is information that you initially hid from your partner for various reasons. We will look further at why a person resorts to lying. Now let’s try to figure out when it’s important to tell the truth:

If you intend to build an exceptionally strong and long-lasting relationship with your partner.
If you are not afraid of your partner's reaction to your words.
If you are responsible for your words.
If you give freedom of choice to another person.

In other words, strong and long-lasting relationships are possible only when the partners are sincere with each other. At the same time, they do not feel the fear of losing each other if some kind of truth is suddenly revealed. Everyone knows that the truth can be unpleasant, but it will be perceived adequately and will be accepted and will not affect the relationship at all.

A person must be brave to tell the truth and not expect a certain reaction from the interlocutor. The truth is so bad that it is often boring, unsightly or unpleasant. This may lead to the interlocutor wanting to break off relations with the person. Therefore, quite often people resort to lies.

How to force a person to tell the truth: psychology and other methods

People lie for various reasons. Most often due to the fact that they are afraid of condemnation, they experience a feeling of shame or fear. Sometimes there are real manipulators for whom lying is a way of controlling others. Lying is their hobby, and sometimes even their life’s profession. For example, deception is an integral part of the work of marketers, PR specialists, and advertising agents. Therefore, you need to know how to force a person to tell the truth if you do not want to become a victim of vile deception.

But what if your loved one is lying? Any family members? Friend? Or a business partner? Expert psychologists offer 7 effective methods on how to get the truth out of a person if you suspect him of lying.

Method 1: instilling safety

Since lying is usually driven by fear of being judged, people will lie to save face if they believe they have done something that will cause them to be judged.

Do you suspect that you are being deceived? Give a person a feeling of security - then he will be able to trust you. Support him, admit to some similar offense, express your understanding, convince him that you can be trusted. You can express your confidence that the truth will not change anything, that you will not tell anyone, that you are a very tolerant person.

Take your interlocutor's hand, hug his shoulders, maintain confident eye contact - all these gestures create a feeling of security and safety. In such a situation, there is a high probability that the person will trust you.

Method 2: unsettle

How to force a person to tell the truth? Unsettled during a conversation.

When a person lies, he thinks through a supposed plan of action, but he has no real memories of what happened.

Do you want to make sure that you are being deceived? During a conversation, suddenly do something completely strange and extraordinary, completely unsuitable to the topic of the conversation: suddenly laugh, ask an unexpected off-topic question (for example, of a frank nature), or say something shocking, you can start thanking your interlocutor for nothing, etc. . The main thing is that your actions and words stun the person. Then offer to continue the conversation from where you left off, or ask him to remind you again what he said. If a person was lied to, it will be difficult for him to remember his speech, because there are no real memories.

Method 3: in reverse order

This method is based on the same psychological phenomena as the previous one - the absence of true memories.

Do you suspect your loved one that he spent the evening differently than he says? Do you want to know how to get a girl to tell the truth? Or how to find out what your boyfriend really did yesterday? First, ask him to list, in order, all the things he was involved in during the period you are interested in. It should look like a plan. And then suddenly ask you to repeat the entire chain of actions, but in reverse order. If a person lied to you, he will get confused and will not be able to do it.

The fact is that there are no real memories, and therefore it is impossible to replay the chain of events in reverse order in your head, like a movie. When thinking through a lie, a person usually imagines what happened in a certain chronology and he does not “rehearse” it all in reverse order.

Therefore, your requests will unsettle him, make him hesitate, or he will not be able to restore the chain in the correct order. This will indicate his lies.

Method 4: catch someone lying

This is another way to force someone to tell the truth. Even if you have direct evidence of deception, but consider it very likely, convince your interlocutor that you have indisputable evidence. Offer arguments that prove deception. Pretend that you don’t doubt your words one bit. The liar will have no choice but to confirm your “100% knowledge.”

Method 5: blackmail

How to convince a person to tell the truth? Using blackmail. But this method does not work with everyone and only under certain circumstances.

Blackmail must be justified and truly scary for a person. You need to understand that if you cannot carry out your threats, then do not even start using this method.

The method is to force a person to tell the truth under the threat of some kind of deprivation. This works well with children and teenagers. They can be banned from the computer, from seeing friends, or from taking away some toy if they do not tell the truth. If a child is afraid of deprivation, if it is expensive for him to lose it, then he will admit to lying.

The method can also be applied to spouses. For example, blackmail with sex. But this is a bad method. He is dishonest, self-serving and ugly. The husband, of course, can tell the truth if he is afraid of being left without sex for two weeks. But he might just go to his mistress. Therefore, it is better not to take risks and use the previous methods.