I try to help everyone, but they start taking advantage of me. What am I doing wrong?

0 1006 April 3, 2020 at 07:42 Author of the publication: Ekaterina Zhavoronkova

In this article we will look at why you need to help people. Let's find out what is the need for helping others, what is the benefit for the one who provides it, and whether there is any meaning in all this.

When we witness individual acts of help, we do not always understand why it is necessary. After all, you can’t save everyone, you can’t help everyone. Human society is far from ideal, and there are always unhappy, dissatisfied, disadvantaged, sick people, it is subject to violence and selfishness. So why participate in the fate of other people? What's the result?

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Am I helping or am I being helped?

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The word “help” is written with the vowel “o” at the root of the word. “I help” is a singular imperfect present tense verb. It is a derivative form of the verb “to help.” To find out which letter needs to be placed in the root, you should choose a word with the same root, where the vowel being tested will be under stress. Such words are “helper”, “help”, “will help”. In all these words the vowel “o” is stressed. Therefore, the correct spelling is with the vowel “o” - “I help.”

To whom and what do we owe

On the issue of obligations to society and mutual assistance, we encounter two opposite opinions. Some people try to live by the principle “no one owes anyone anything.” Others, on the contrary, advocate that helping others is a natural human need and a necessity for the full development of society . Why are two completely different approaches present in our lives?

We live in an era of maximum individualism, consumption and the desire for material values. This is neither good nor bad - it is a fact. A natural stage in the development of society. The next one will be completely different, but everything has its time.

Nowadays the most sought-after qualities in society are competitiveness, the ability to earn money and take responsibility. Values ​​in tune with Western mentality. As much as you worked, you received a reward. Nobody will do anything for you. This is a correct approach, but sometimes it mistakenly extends to a person’s obligations to society. Why help others if everyone is for themselves?

It happens that a negative experience leads you to think about why you should help people. For some people, an internal sense of justice and equality is very important. If I did good to a person, I should be repaid in the same coin. To be honest. What if you help, but there is no gratitude in return? Or do they generally deceive, betray, do nasty things, take advantage of you? Well, why try?

The ideology in which you owe nothing to anyone is being propagated from everywhere. We hear similar statements from our environment, from media figures, even from psychologists. Living for yourself, thinking about yourself first, loving and respecting yourself are the social attitudes of modern society.

However, the same society is not alien to cultural values. Human life is the highest of them. We have all heard about show business stars and other celebrities who organize charitable foundations, make various donations, become goodwill ambassadors, and so on. Apparently, for them there is no question of why they need to help people. For them, helping others is full of meaning.

By the way, among the values ​​of the Russian mentality there has always been a willingness to help, not to leave in trouble, care for those who are weaker, mercy and justice. This desire to help others lives in us even now.

Am I on my own or am I part of society?

The main goal of the cultural superstructure of society is the preservation of human life. Volunteer activities, social work, and mutual assistance contribute to the preservation of the human species. A person is not a separately existing, independent unit, but a part of society. A person is not able to develop and survive on his own. We depend on society, on the phenomena occurring in it.

We see ourselves in others. What does it mean? In the older generation, we see our possible future, prospects for us and our children when they grow up. And if we see disadvantaged elderly people, we lose our sense of security.

The basic feeling necessary for every person and society as a whole for development and effective activity is security and safety. Otherwise, all thoughts and aspirations will be aimed only at preserving oneself. This significantly reduces a person’s ability to fully realize themselves in society.

When we see that the elderly are taken care of, we receive an unconscious confidence that we will be taken care of too. When we see that conditions for development are created for orphans or children from disadvantaged families, we understand that, having matured, they will be able to lead the country into the future. When we see that help is provided to the disabled, sick, and weak, we believe that if we ourselves or our loved ones find ourselves in a difficult situation, we will not be left to the mercy of fate.

We feel more secure. This is often unconscious, but always affects society as a whole and the quality of life of each individual.

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Source of the article: https://obrazovaka.ru/question/pomogayu-ili-pomagayu-61270

Word writing rule

“Help” is an infinitive verb. According to the rules of the Russian language, at the end of verbs in the indefinite form, after sibilants, a soft sign is written . What to do? Help. We have a perfective verb. There can be no doubt about how this verb form is correctly written.

Even if we had a dialect version of the noun “help”, the soft sign would still be at the end, since in this case the word “help” would be considered as a third declension noun with a sibilant at the end.

Teachings of Christ

Help your neighbor, Christ taught. Turning to the Bible, reading it, each person sees in it his own, what he perceives due to his moral level of development. It happens in life that often those people who do not go to church respond to the first call for help. But someone who considers himself a Christian will not always rush to help his neighbor, justifying himself with hundreds of excuses. This is not an indicator of a specific faith. This speaks about a person’s inner understanding, about his attitude towards his neighbors. Probably, it is not enough to consider yourself a Christian and go to church, you need to be one in your soul.

Nothing in life can be perceived unambiguously by different people. Some people mean “neighbors” as relatives, friends, others as fellow believers. But even regular parishioners who regularly visit the temple do not always consider as their neighbors those who come to the temple for the first time for some reason. In most cases, a person comes to the temple to the Lord out of despair. After all, Jesus Christ considered all people to be neighbors.

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Advice from psychologists for those who want to achieve their goals

If you are determined to make all your dreams and aspirations come true, then we advise you to adhere to the following rules. They are not drastic steps or significant actions, but these recommendations will help you change your attitude towards life, which will lead you to success.

  • Start controlling your speech. Try not to use expressions that may have any negative effect. These may be, at first glance, meaningless phrases. For example, “I don’t want to do anything,” “I won’t be able to do this,” “nothing will happen.” Such phrases subconsciously develop in us a feeling of inferiority, instilling the idea that you cannot achieve what you want.
  • Learn to find beauty in every day you live and thank fate for all the pleasant moments. Learn to say “thank you” for everything that comes into your life. This way, you can learn not to get used to everything in your life. Try to do everything to move forward, fill your mind only with good thoughts and emotions.
  • After waking up, you need to remind yourself every day that today will be the best day. Don't forget about this during the working day.
  • Try to always discover something new for yourself. Try yourself in an area that has always seemed inaccessible and extremely difficult to you. In this way, you can awaken in yourself the desire to act and make decisions, and experience an emotional uplift.
  • Be sure to define your main goal. You can do this gradually by monitoring your behavior and emotions. Pay attention to those things that bring a smile to your face and make you cry from overwhelming emotions. Try to figure out what you can work on for a long time, forgetting about sleep and lunch.

All these methods will help you decide on a goal, the achievement of which will make you happy.

to achieve goals you need to develop willpower

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