Why do women like bad boys, why do girls fall in love with bad boys

Myths about masculine qualities that girls like

Absolutely all women are crazy about bad guys. This myth is based on a variety of films with almost the same plot: a beautiful, shy young lady is waiting impatiently for her betrothed.
And suddenly troubles befall her, and when there is no longer any hope for a bright future, He appears - a kind of daring lone wolf who saves the poor girl and never lets himself go again. In life, such a “hero” turns out to be an infantile young man, for whom thrills and adventures are much more important than “quiet family happiness.” That is why girls prone to romantic dreams fall in love with “bad guys,” while women who are ready to start a family prefer more down-to-earth and stable men.
The main thing is physical data . Namely: tall height, broad shoulders and pumped up muscles. And everything else - a sparkling mind, erudition and a sense of humor - is unnecessary “surplus” to anyone. In fact, external data plays a role only when meeting someone, and very quickly fades into the background, giving an important place to completely different qualities: the ability to care, listen, and empathize. If a man is able to do everything to make his woman feel most loved and happiest, it doesn’t matter to her what height and build he is.
Women are attracted to "experienced lovers" . For some reason, many men sincerely believe that the long “track record” of those whom they managed to bestow with their love should undoubtedly elevate them in the eyes of the girl they like. In fact, this state of affairs frightens women more than it delights, because few people want to be “No. 81,” whose face will not even be remembered over time.

What kind of guys do girls really like? Find out in this video:

What kind of guys do girls like in their youth?

The attitude of young girls towards boys is comparable to the love of magpies for everything shiny. At school, in the yard and in the first years at the institute, young handsome womanizers with “loose tongues” and “pomaded” hair are stunningly popular among girls. Between the ages of 16 and 23, girls are greedy for such “instances.” They are attracted by physical perfection and feigned ease of communication with such men. Having rethought their youthful hobbies and comparing them with the one who stands in front of them, women understand that that handsome male has become an ordinary scoundrel, a cynic and a boor. However, it was not a shame to while away the evening with such a gentleman in front of my friends. Plus, the baby turned out to be very cute. Over the years, men's claims to appearance lose relevance, and other priorities come to the fore.

Is it true?

What will the psychology of women tell us?

How to kiss a girl for the first time? You will find practical recommendations on our website.

They choose not the good ones, but the bad ones

Is it true that girls love bad boys and why? The situation when a decent girl “from a good family” falls head over heels in love with a neighbor’s bully is not uncommon. The reason for such a misalliance may be one of the following factors:

Excessive daydreaming . As a rule, if a girl loves women's novels and tearful series about love, she will certainly look for similar adventures with a persistent, powerful and uncompromising hero in real life.
The desire to “tame” a guy with a temper , and feel like a real conqueror of men’s hearts.
Subconscious following of instincts . In nature there is a female desire to choose a strong and powerful partner who will be a worthy successor to the family. This is exactly how bad guys sometimes seem to girls.
Psychological trauma (usually childhood), the consequence of which is a pronounced desire to fully submit to the strength and pressure of a man.
The desire to feel the protection of a seasoned, strong-willed and strong partner, which is often the image of a “bad guy”.
Excessive manifestation of maternal instinct , expressed by the desire to “save” and “re-educate” a disobedient bad boy.
Similarity with the girl’s father (external, behavioral) and a subconscious desire for his approval of her daughter’s choice.

Is it true that girls don't like nice guys, and why? There are situations when a young man is ready to do literally everything for his beloved: gifts, poems, complete agreement in all matters.

But in response, the young lady openly ignores him, or dumps him after several dates, leaving the admirer bewildered. And this happens because:

Most girls quickly get bored with predictability , which often “suffers” from good guys who are characterized by frugality, correctness, consistency, and thoughtfulness. Girls (especially at a young age) often want spontaneity, which goes against accepted rules and public opinion.
Often, the definition of “good guy” hides the softness and spinelessness of a young man who does not have his own opinion. It is they who repel girls who strive to see “support” and “protection” next to them.

I don't like skinny ones

Why don't girls like thin men? This is an absolute lie , because, as they say, there are no comrades according to taste and color. Of course, girls pay attention to the external characteristics of guys, but this is only at the dating stage.

And yes, some people tend to sympathize more with young men of athletic build.

But then, when the relationship begins to develop, the main role is played by completely different “parameters”: the ability to make people laugh, understanding, attentiveness and gallantry.

And this no longer depends on height, thinness or “mountains of muscles”.

What kind of body do girls like? Find out from the video:

Ability to make you laugh

Humor helps in attracting girls. The more optimistic and positive you are, the more attractive you become. There are so many disappointments, grief and troubles in life. If a guy can make a girl laugh when she's sad, then he becomes priceless.

In fact, humor is very important in a relationship. The girl wants to understand that her partner will maintain presence of mind even in a difficult situation. And this already depends on the character of the person and his attitude towards life.

You can make a girl laugh in various ways, not only with anecdotes and jokes. Sometimes it’s important to just support and make a funny situation out of a difficult situation so that the girl smiles and feels at ease.

What does it mean: women love with their ears?

To attract the attention of women, it is important to impress them by standing out from the crowd of other “conquerors”.

And no matter what the adherents of feminism say, women expect the first step at the very beginning of a relationship from men.

The well-known truth that women love with their ears is unfortunately not taken into account by more than half of men. Or he limits himself to standard compliments, repeating them as if on a schedule “twice a day.”

In fact, you need to speak as often as possible and for as long as possible, but the main thing is what exactly.

As a rule, all men (just like women), first of all, are interested in their own affairs and problems. Coming home after work, or meeting in a cafe, representatives of the stronger sex most often begin to tell the lady about their affairs and plans .

The woman listens patiently all this time, but is waiting for something completely different: for you to talk about her, in particular about what worries and worries her:

appearance and figure;
relationships with parents, friends;
plans for the future (travel, repairs, shopping);
various nuances in a man’s behavior.

The main mistake of the vast majority of men is the lack of attention expected by a woman in relation to her “problems”, accompanied by the phrases “No big deal - I’ll solve everything”, “Calm down, I’ll sort it out”, etc.

Even if a man is one hundred percent sure that the question is trivial, under no circumstances should he voice this to a lady!

If he wants to please her and make her feel that she is not alone in this situation that worries her, and he is ready to help and support in every possible way, he needs to talk.

A lot and for a long time. Ask clarifying questions, make assumptions, offer solutions to the problem. It is important to understand that women like to discuss and talk through the situation , even if the way out of it is obvious.

In addition, it is important to notice any, even the most minor changes in appearance and image as a whole.

A phrase about a new hairstyle, lipstick or the fact that her eyes are especially sparkling today will not go unnoticed and will significantly increase the man’s “rating”.

Why do girls like bad boys?

Many girls and women are not attracted to good and well-mannered guys. Why? There are several reasons for this:

The need to meet a certain level. When building a relationship with a good guy, a woman realizes that she will have to try hard to make the right impression on him. She constantly fears that at one far from perfect moment she will disappoint him.
Lack of masculinity. It's rare that a good guy can demonstrate self-esteem. You are destined to see his masculinity only when you yourself bring him to a nervous breakdown. Oh yes, then he will hit the table with his fist and perhaps “fly” to you.
"Groundhog Day" Living with a good guy is boring and monotonous. Work, home, vacation in Turkey and periodic outings with friends for barbecues - this is the entire list of available entertainment. Predictability and the prospect of constant boredom only repel young ladies.
Nothing to fix. A good guy is essentially a finished product. He is well-mannered, knows how to behave in society, his whole life is planned out for years in advance. There is no need to correct it, because it is already perfect. But many women still want to “create” their prince themselves.
A well-mannered guy is a suspicious guy. Nice guys rarely inspire confidence; women often perceive them as “things in themselves.” They are distinguished by stability of emotions, willingness to compromise and restraint in statements. You don’t know what to expect from such a partner, and this is what inspires suspicion.
Modesty and shyness. Nice guys are overly shy and lack charm. They are more driven, and such men are not able to predict women's desires or do something unexpected and aimed at conquering a potential chosen one.
"So-so defender." Nice guys don't suffer from impulsiveness and determination. They live by the principle “any conflict can be resolved with words,” so they are unlikely to be able to stand up for their beloved in a moment of danger.

Why can you fall in love?

What kind of men do women love?

Romantic . Few women do not dream of “beautiful” feelings, courtship and romantic actions of a man for her sake. Coffee in her favorite cup in the morning, a nice SMS at lunchtime, remembering (or writing down) dates that are significant to her and sweet surprises for them - her beloved will certainly appreciate all this, will be immensely happy and grateful for your attention.
Gallant . Despite the fact that in modern society the rules of etiquette in relations with women are gradually losing their relevance, their value increases a hundredfold.
Reliable . Deep down, even self-sufficient women, accustomed to relying only on themselves, dream of having a strong male shoulder nearby - protection and support, with which everyone could relax and “enjoy” their own defenselessness.
Honest . Women better not lie. Having the instincts of an investigator, they “get to the bottom of” the lying gentleman “once”, and then no excuses will help.
Courageous and strong. Those who do not complain all night long about the villainous fate, the idiot boss and the situation in the country. If something doesn’t suit him, he takes it and acts, changing his life in accordance with his desires.

Why can you love a guy? Often girls, especially at the stage of the candy-bouquet period, love their guys simply because they are nearby .

This is such a high feeling, when, perhaps, all the shortcomings have not yet been revealed, lovers are under the influence of a hormonal surge, “rose-colored glasses” and are filled with an inspiring feeling.

They love because:

You can trust him by telling him about problems with your parents, a quarrel with your girlfriend, or a “failed” exam. At the same time, the mood improves with just one kiss on the cheek;
he will meet you after school or work, help you carry bags of groceries, making sure that the girl is comfortable;
he writes touching SMS and even letters, makes surprises for no reason,
he feels the girl’s mood, trying in every possible way to smooth out the “sharp corners” when she is “out of sorts”;
he knows how to make a girl laugh and cheer her up.

How to understand that a girl wants a kiss? Find out the answer right now.

What kind of men do women like? About this in the video:

Competition, achievement of power

When a girl is a strong personality, the desire for power, dominance, and competition lives in her soul. With a nice guy, a strong girl will be bored if he can't put her in her place, say no, or make him conquer. A strong girl remains an athlete at heart. She needs, like an athlete, to compete, overcome obstacles, and win. And this is only possible with a bad guy who is not given into your hands just like that.

If a strong girl gets into a relationship with a bad guy, she provides herself with constant difficulties and competition. The bad guy will constantly run away from her, pose difficulties and tasks, and force her to solve problems. A girl who is used to fighting, winning, and overcoming really likes all this.

Excitement: who will conquer it?

In addition to the previous point, the following reason is often attributed: the desire to conquer the guy’s wild heart. The good thing about bad guys is that they don't love anyone. And girls who love excitement and competition are ready to spend time trying to conquer the “bad guy.” This is akin to the desire to ride a wild horse that no one has yet ridden.

If a girl wins the heart of a bad guy, she often starts to get bored. She has already achieved her goal; in fact, she does not need his love. Therefore, she leaves the bad guy, because often those men who begin to love become good. In this case, the girl begins to look for another bad guy in order to prove to herself that she can tame this “wild stallion”.

Newness in life

Bad guys are fun to live with. If a girl does not think about starting a family, then she needs emotions. Every day she wants to live, as if on a volcano, in passion and a storm of feelings. All this is provided in a relationship with a bad guy. Every day is new for a girl, because she doesn’t know what her beloved partner will do today.

A girl never feels at ease with a bad guy, which is good for the beauty herself, who is not looking for peace. They walk, go to nightclubs, communicate with a lot of people, and travel. They may even flirt with other people to make each other jealous, cheat, and then make up again. All this is so unpredictable, filling life with new events and emotions, that the girl does not even think about what all this threatens her with.

Life without fear

Have you ever wondered why audiences start to love villains in movies? Many people watch films and television shows, where they often catch themselves thinking that the actions of the villains also have meaning. Sometimes in films it is not good that wins, but the same villain as his opponent, he was just given the role of a hero. Sometimes in life people prefer to communicate with villains - people who are immoral, uncontrollable, capricious, etc. Why are they so attractive to ordinary people?

They have an unshakable belief that all their words and actions are right, even if they are immoral. Because a simple person often doubts his thoughts, he takes the example of a villain who is 100% sure of his thoughts, even if they are actually wrong (not gnawing at his conscience).
They simply go towards their goal, having a plan and not being afraid to carry it out. They believe that they must do everything to achieve a goal (even kill!), which ordinary people who are often guided by rules and laws cannot afford. Ordinary people are afraid, which is why fearless villains are attractive.
They are unpredictable. If certain actions are expected from the hero, then the villain acts as he sees fit. Freedom is what every person wants, and this freedom is possessed by villains who can act in accordance with their desires.

Villains allow themselves to do things that other people do not allow themselves to do. They are attractive because they have freedom of action, thought and speech, while unshakably believing that even the most vile and disgusting act is right. Ordinary people lack such freedom and confidence, so they are drawn to those who have it all.

The bad guys are the very same villains you can admire yourself. After all, a girl can live without fears with a bad guy. Society constantly instills various fears in girls: “be afraid”, “be on guard”, “we will judge you”, etc. And the bad guy tells the girl: “Forget it!” Do not be afraid of anything!".

The good thing about bad boys is that when girls are around them, they get rid of the fears that society puts on them. Society frowns on cheating, and in a relationship with a bad guy, cheating becomes normal. Society condemns drinking and going to nightclubs, and the bad guy himself attracts the girl to this lifestyle.

We can say that the bad guy allows the girl to live the way she herself wants. If she alone is not able to fight against the opinion of society, then together with a bad guy who has already learned to fight and defend his opinion, she can afford to live in her own way. Psychologists often say that girls love bad guys because they allow themselves to live the way they want. A good guy is most likely full of various social fears, so he himself will limit the girl in her actions and desires. The bad guy will tell her to do whatever she wants, and will even support her in this.

A bad guy is the door to the life a girl wants to live, but is afraid to do it herself.

Fear of serious relationships

A girl can understand on a subconscious level that a bad guy is a path to nowhere. She will not be happy with him, loved. She will not become his wife and will not give birth to his children. A bad guy may promise but not keep his word. However, often bad guys do not promise anything at all, which is why girls simply do not know what the future awaits them. If all this is not realized, then inside the girl understands it all. And the reason for her behavior is the fear of a serious relationship.

A good guy means you have to build a serious relationship. He will make the girl “his own”. She will be forced to sleep and date only him, and refuse to communicate with other guys and girls. She will be deprived of fun in companies and trips to nightclubs. And soon this relationship will generally lead to the fact that the guy proposes marriage to her... Or rather, start washing his socks, cleaning the house, cooking food every day, always smiling at his mother, who is always dissatisfied with her daughter-in-law, raising children who are loved , but very burdensome...

In other words, the girl is not yet ready for a serious relationship, where there are continuous restrictions, monotony, everyday life and even unpleasant moments of communication with the relatives of her beloved guy. If a girl wants an easy relationship, even if it becomes permanent, then she will choose a bad guy. After all, with such a partner things will definitely not go far. They will constantly walk, not think about anything, have fun and live for today.

Stormy feelings

What’s also good about bad guys is that with them the girl is constantly emotional. Instability of relationships, jealousy due to flirting with other girls, uncertainty of the future, lack of understanding why a guy behaves this way or doesn’t call, and other situations constantly keep a girl in suspense. It seems that all this must exhaust her. Undoubtedly, over time the girl will get tired. In the meantime, she is free, then she simply needs violent feelings.

A bad guy can say he loves a girl, even if it's a lie. He may not tell her where he was, which will make her all worried, and then give her a box of chocolates as a sign of reconciliation. After every fight, the bad guy will passionately have sex with the girl. In fact, girls really like all these mood swings, emotions and feelings, because in such a situation they feel alive.

In “good” relationships, such differences simply do not exist. The guy confesses his love, which is sincere, but this is pleasant only at first. Then monotonous days begin, constant meetings in the same places, a clash with the guy’s usual lifestyle, etc. A girl who wants to experience emotions will simply wither away in an ordinary relationship, where she is not brought suffering, disappointment and other negative experiences.

What qualities and what appearance should an ideal young man have?

Thanks to sociological surveys conducted among women of different ages, the portrait of the “ideal man” acquired the following essential features :

the presence of an internal core (strength, confidence), due to which the lady next to him can be fragile and defenseless;
the ability (and desire!) to care. About yourself, about your beloved, about future children;
high intelligence and quick wits, ability to listen and be a good conversationalist;
having a sense of humor.

As for appearance, for women it does not play a dominant role, given the presence of most of the character traits of the “ideal man”.

At the same time, ladies are not at all against the fact that their loved one has:

a beautiful smile (this is what women pay attention to first of all);
athletic build (broad shoulders, narrow pelvis, prominent muscles);
a certain eye color (preferred for a particular lady);
in a bass voice.

But be that as it may, a loved one is always ideal , regardless of the presence or absence of “statistical” parameters.

What attracts is what touches you

What attracts is what touches you. And by attracting we mean not only paying attention to what is interesting and pleasant, but also to what causes indignation, indignation and censure.

Sometimes it doesn't matter whether you like what you notice or not. Quite often, the very fact that you paid your attention to a certain thing, person or event is important. And this is used by manipulators who don’t care whether you like something or not. The important thing is that you focus your attention, and emotions - positive or negative - are secondary.

What attracts is what touches you. And by attracting here we mean the usual turning of one’s attention. And people pay their attention only to what evokes vivid emotions. And these bright emotions can be not only positive (joy, admiration, approval, etc.), but also negative (indignation, reproach, anger, etc.). And if the manipulator doesn't care how you should feel, then most likely he will use the option to make you resentful.

An easy example of such manipulation is the behavior of a child who wants to attract the attention of his parents. But since parents are quite often busy with their own affairs and concerns, only occasionally noticing the successes and achievements of their child, he then tries another tactic of his behavior: he does something that will cause indignation among his parents. For example, he will fight with a boy in the yard, break toys, get sick, or pour water in the bathroom. You know, it doesn’t matter to a child whether you cry or laugh. In this situation, the fact that you paid your attention to him is important, even if you shout at the same time and somehow punish him.

What attracts is what touches you. And it only hurts what evokes bright, violent, uncontrollable emotions. In other words, if you want to attract people's attention to you, to your product, to your work, etc., then simply evoke emotions in them. And it doesn’t matter whether people are happy or angry, the main thing is that they noticed you, which means they will talk, discuss, criticize or praise, that is, spread the word about you.