Many girls are concerned about the question of how to build the happiest relationships and the happiest couple. Many people try their best. Some people focus on understanding, others surprise with surprises. Girls always try to do everything possible to please a guy. But the sun doesn't always shine brightly. Sometimes gloomy days come. And this is typical for any relationship. You cannot do without quarrels, insults and disputes. At such moments, girls understand how difficult it is to make a guy want to stay by your side even during a crisis. The best solution would be to recognize the upcoming crisis in a relationship prematurely and be able to improve the relationship.
Many people are helped by life principles in resolving difficult life situations.
Life principles - what are they?
Among the basic principles it is worth highlighting:
- Care and attention
There are quite a lot of difficulties in the lives of men. Since most of them position themselves as breadwinners, their main goal is to earn a living. In case of failure and lack of opportunity to earn money, men worry too much and, more than ever, at such moments they really need the help, support and care of women. They need understanding. If a woman really loves, she should take care of her man’s health, help him give up bad habits, encourage him to exercise and eat right. - Respect
A representative of the fairer sex must, of course, respect the views of her man. However, respect must be mutual. Find out what kind of relationship his parents had, what kind of family he grew up in, what he was used to. Since very often men behave exactly like their parents. There should be respect for his parents too. Otherwise, you won't be able to build good relationships. - Goals
Every man sets certain goals for himself, but it is not always possible to achieve them. A woman should help him in this, supporting and instilling faith in him. Motivate him to achieve his goal. - Love You
should never forget about feelings. A woman should talk about them to her lover. However, you should not try to change it. Just accept him for who he is. Let him be himself, open up. After all, these are real feelings.
A good relationship
Today, instead of discussing bad relationships, let's talk about what ideal ones should be. We spend too much time talking about how to recognize a person who is not cut out for a stable relationship. It is important to understand that there are actually many signs of defining this type of personality.
Firstly, I believe that we must clearly define for ourselves who we need, and having found such a person, immediately understand that it is him. Secondly, each of us must have our own image of an ideal relationship, determine for ourselves what needs to be done to make it such, and move together with our partner in this direction.
So today, instead of discussing bad relationships, let’s talk about what an ideal relationship should be like:
1. You respect each other's differences and use them to your advantage. The best analogy, in my opinion, is a sports analogy. Each team has members with different abilities. Some are better at serving, others at running speed, but with unity of action, a truly better result is obtained. Also in relationships. Both partners must understand that each of them has advantages that the other does not have, and only in unity can you complement each other. Only in its unity does the team always win.
2. You are arguing. No, not often and not rudely. But, if a dispute arises between you, it means that each of you has your own opinion, while you have enough strength to argue your position. And that's great! The absence of arguments can only indicate a possible secrecy of feelings, a lack of 100% honesty when expressing one’s opinion. Silence and holding back your emotions in order to maintain peace often leads to misunderstandings and even break-ups.
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3. Headlong into the pool. Relationships are not measured by time periods. Either you are in a relationship or there is nothing between you. Ideally, both partners should be fully committed to their relationship, strengthening it through life's challenges and working to create a unified team.
4. You stop hiding your shortcomings. There are no perfect people. If you deliberately hide your shortcomings, play a role that is unusual for yourself, or put on a mask in front of your partner, he will not be able to reveal your true essence. Normal relationships are built on openness. If there are feelings between you, you will be loved and appreciated along with all the flaws and shortcomings.
5. You discuss the topic of sex. Communication is the key to building happy, healthy relationships. An intimate topic should be discussed first, because both partners should feel satisfied. Understand that between adults who love each other, there should be no forbidden topics.
6. You know how to be silent together. Have you ever been in the same room and enjoyed silence? In this case, there is no awkwardness, you feel good together, you only enjoy each other’s company. It's so important to be together in silence sometimes.
7. You maintain your individuality. Let's return to the sports analogy of the first point. If you constantly try to serve like a pitcher, you gradually lose your role in the team as you try to become like the other player. Also in relationships. You must understand that in any relationship you must remain yourself. You shouldn’t be like someone else, you shouldn’t become a victim of the situation. Unnecessary self-sacrifice will turn you into a doormat. You will not become happier, and moreover, you will not dare to tell your partner that you want more.
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8. You respect each other's privacy. Yes, you are a team, one whole, you live by the motto: “Everything that is mine is yours, everything that is yours is mine.” This is wonderful. But don’t forget that you are also two different people, each of whom has the right to a certain privacy that deserves respect. This doesn't mean spying on each other or checking phone messages. The exception is when a good reason was given for this. Otherwise, do not abuse trust and your relationship will be perfect.
9. You trust each other. Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Without trust, you will not be able to calmly let your partner go to meet friends or even to work. Such relationships will gradually collapse until you break up.
10. No prohibited topics. Often, misunderstandings arise between people living together that require discussion. If you avoid difficult conversations so as not to offend a loved one, this will entail unnecessary unspokenness and lead to tension in your relationship. Try to calmly and respectfully explain your position and feelings.
11. You accept each other's past. Each of us has a past. When discovering a person, you should respect and understand his past. By refusing to listen to the life story of a loved one, you thereby show your unwillingness to accept him as he was and is now. In a normal relationship, all topics should be open for discussion. At the same time, it is important to understand that only the present is important, and the past will forever remain only in the past.
12. You support each other in everything. Regardless of whether you share each other's aspirations, it is very important to provide support in all endeavors. Caring for a loved one manifests itself in this. At the same time, you can either simply be nearby or help in every possible way in achieving your goal. After all, your partner’s happiness depends on it.
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13. You continue to maintain and strengthen your relationship even after a long period of living together. True relationships do not require giving back for what is received; they are built on the principle of “give and give.” It is important to accept and appreciate what you receive in a relationship, and even more important to give the same amount of attention and care to your partner. Stopping the use of this principle dooms the relationship to failure.
14. You are always open, honest and direct with each other. Open and honest communication within the framework of mutual understanding of each other is the key to successful and promising relationships.
15. You want to improve yourself without losing your individuality. This is a clear sign of a healthy relationship. No one should be allowed to change themselves. You yourself must want, you must have an incentive to improve, both for yourself and for my partner.
As Mark Twain said: “Stay away from people who try to diminish your ambitions. Little people always do this, unlike the really great ones who can make you feel like you can be that person too.”
Author: James Michael Sama
Relationships after a quarrel - how to improve?
There are probably no lovers in the world who never quarrel.
Quarrels proceed in different ways. Sometimes couples are characterized as a “Mexican family”, and sometimes as an “English” family. Two different nationalities completely reflect the most common couple relationships. As for the “English family,” such couples basically hide everything. No matter what happens, no one will know, not even family and friends. The couple will behave normally and play to the public. But in reality it's just a game. And such relationships can last a lifetime.
The “Mexican family” is radically different from the British. Violent scandals are always in full view of neighbors and friends. And quarrels among such couples occur very often. We can say that they even enjoy quarrels, since reconciliation is very sweet for them afterwards.
Of course, these two examples are extremes. There is still a middle ground that couples should adhere to. After all, it is impossible to live without quarrels and disputes. You can’t put off working on relationships and think that everything will pass. Girls must find ways themselves to avoid a quarrel with their loved one.
What to do if a quarrel happens?
You can just talk frankly, since very often there is no good reason for a quarrel.
This means there is no need to speculate on anything. There is nothing better than a simple frank conversation. Discuss why you grew apart and how you can get closer. In case of a serious reason for the quarrel, it is still necessary to talk. Best of all, no accusations. Just explain to the man how you feel, how bad or hurt you are. Another way of reconciliation is compromise. Since people often come into contact with opposite characters, all their lives they have to look for compromises and meet halfway. A man is your relatives, your soul mate, and you simply must yield to him, even if the fault is entirely his. Sometimes pride prevents you from taking the first step. But making concessions is much harder than standing your ground. This requires strength. And everything comes with age. When a couple lives their lives together, the man and woman behave the same, they know each other well and understand each other. But this came over the years. And in my youth there was everything: quarrels, misunderstandings, and concessions.
“Domestic quarrels” occur very often. But at the beginning of the journey, relationships are just emerging, so it is very important to preserve them and not break them in everyday life. You both grew up in different families, with different traditions. But in the first stages of building relationships, it is necessary to correctly distribute responsibilities and be able to agree on who performs what responsibilities. Initially distributed responsibilities will save you from subsequent quarrels and insults.
It is very important not to criticize your man. We are all not without flaws. You wouldn't like it if all your man's friends found out about them, wouldn't you? It is better to avoid such quarrels. To do this, it is better to initially agree and not criticize each other. If such a situation does arise, just know how to stop your man, make it clear that you will not tolerate criticism in your direction. And at home we can discuss everything and sort it out.
Understanding your partner is mandatory. Even if you are angry, even if you are in a quarrel. Understanding will always have a positive impact on relationships. Even if it is very difficult, put yourself in your man’s place in a given situation.
When is the best time to forget about your ex?
Some situations just scream “run.” Not everyone's marriage was peaceful. Sometimes divorce brings only relief.
If your ex-spouse indulged in physical or physical violence, forget about him. Communication with this person will not bring you any joy or positive emotions. There is no need to openly show aggression and negativity. Just let it go and forget. Try to keep as much light in your life as possible.
If you can’t reach an agreement, or you have doubts, you may have to go to court for help.
You should stay away from your ex-significant other if she shows an increased interest in maintaining the friendship. In particular, with some “privileges” in the form of intimacy. This is already a clear form of addiction, which will bring absolutely nothing good. Such relationships are obviously doomed to failure. There is no point in tormenting yourself once again and entertaining the illusion that one way or another, everything will work out on its own.
