Adultery - what does it mean?

November 16, 2020

Hello, dear readers of the KtoNaNovenkogo.ru blog. There are many ingrained words in the Russian language, the meaning of which is not completely clear to everyone. Most often these are words borrowed from other languages.

One of these “mysterious” words is adultery. It is used in the media and even in colloquial speech, so it would be good to understand what it is.

But, in addition to interpreting the meaning of this word, today I want to discuss the reasons leading to adultery and how to recognize it by the nuances of the behavior of your significant other.

What is adultery in a relationship?

Perhaps it’s worth starting with the official interpretation of what adultery is in a relationship between a man and a woman. This word is synonymous with adultery and implies intimate relationships between people who are not mutually married. This phenomenon is considered immoral and unworthy. However, there are no laws that can punish participants in adultery. At least in Western society. Moreover, many divorces begin with the fact that infidelity becomes regular.

In a religious society, and especially in those countries where Islam dominates, many aspects of life are subject to specific moral laws. In such countries, adultery not only causes verbal condemnation, but also corporal punishment, even the death penalty. This is especially true for the female half of the population. In Western society, moral issues are assigned to the personal responsibility of each person.

When taking marital vows, each couple determines the limits of what is permissible and the subsequent actions in case of infidelity. For example, this issue is highlighted as a special clause in the marriage contract. Some adhere to church and religious canons, others choose progressive, free views on marital relations, and others prescribe every point (including intimate moments) in the marriage contract.

What does the word adultery mean - adultery, translated from French, or treason? This word had a negative connotation, and the phenomenon caused condemnation. Although, as we know, the aristocracy quite willingly indulged in this activity. This has always been considered the norm for France, even now adultery is widespread there, the origin of the word goes back to ancient times, and adulterous relationships are quite common.

There is another name for adultery, or rather there are many of them: infidelity, adultery, betrayal, their derivatives, and obscene words, which we will not give here. Although in the official interpretation adultery clearly means betrayal of a legal spouse, in reality this can also be called a simple cohabitation of two people, the so-called “civil marriage”.

Nowadays, family boundaries are more blurred than they were in earlier times. However, let us dwell on the interpretation that states that an adulterous relationship is the physical betrayal of one of the spouses in an official or civil marriage.

Other countries 3

However, in many foreign countries there is a list of valid reasons for starting divorce proceedings, clearly defined by the law. The first such document, dated March 21, 1804, was called the Napoleonic Code. It was also called the Civil Code of French Citizens.

Its interpretation of adultery was very ambiguous. So, if a wife cheated, this was a valid reason for divorce. If the husband cheated, the wife could be denied divorce proceedings. The only exceptions were those cases when a man brought his mistress to a common house.

Many third world countries still persecute extramarital sex, which includes adultery and fornication. Again, the punishment for women is much more severe than for members of the stronger sex who commit treason. An unfaithful spouse can easily be stoned to death right in the central square of the city. A little strange, but in Nigeria and Pakistan a woman will be punished for adultery even if she was raped.

But, all of the above concerned exclusively the legislative norms of society, but what do religious traditions teach people?

What is adultery?

In search of an answer to the question: adjuters, who are they, I had to spend time searching for the meaning of this word. It has two interpretations and different spellings, although they sound almost the same. An adjutor is an assistant, in our opinion, a deputy official in the original sense. Adjuter is a synonym for lover, apparently derived from the French word “adultery”, in a distorted pronunciation. It is used extremely rarely, mainly in fiction.

Adultery is adultery on one or both sides. Both lovers may be married or one of them may be single. In modern society, adultery refers to adultery even without marriage, for example, in a same-sex union. Legal same-sex marriages are legal in some countries, although such “families” exist throughout the world. The participants in such relationships themselves consider their unions to be real and swear oaths of allegiance to each other. Violation of these verbal obligations is also called adultery.

Thus, we see that this happens not only between a man and a woman, but also between a woman and a woman, a man and a man. Surprisingly, even families of swingers consider “marching” a couple to be adultery and treason. This is how confusing everything is in the modern world, devoid of firm religious guidelines that permit sexual relations only between spouses.

Judaism4

In the Old Testament, adultery is strictly defined and implies the following punishment for adultery - the death penalty. True, in practice, the Jews applied such a measure of punishment quite caustically, since there was no compelling evidence of the fact of treason. Of course, with such a strict law, all trips to the left were hidden more than carefully.

Relationship with a married woman is prohibited by both the Torah and the law of the Jewish people, Halacha. According to them, a man does not have the right to have sexual relations with a woman who, by law, is not his wife. Likewise, he does not have the right to continue to live in marriage with a wife who cheated on him with another man. There is only one way out here, divorce.

In Judaism there is such a thing as the set of Seven Laws of the descendants of Noah. According to it, all humanity is prohibited from having sexual relations with other people's wives (husbands).

What are the causes of adultery?

It is believed that men are more susceptible to the sin of adultery due to their nature. They need several partners - this is another evolutionary tool configured for maximum reproduction. However, now women are catching up with men, as statistics show. If 70% of husbands cheat, then only half (50%) of wives remain faithful.

The female sex is not as interested in the number of sexual partners as in the quality of the relationships that arise (even short-term romances). Therefore, adultery on the part of women looks more elegant and insidious. Old Freud argued that male infidelity is inevitable and one must come to terms with this fact; the need to look for partners on the side is dictated by nature. The desire to spread your seed as widely as possible is the very “call of nature.”

A woman is assigned the role of a mother, she has the ability to give birth, and that means she has other tasks - to bear, give birth to and raise viable offspring. You don’t need many partners for this; sometimes one is enough. The problem is precisely the good quality of the potential father. A woman is in search of physical strength, endurance, activity, interest, caring and the ability to achieve her goals.

Society adds the absence of harmful tendencies to the list. From an evolutionary point of view, this makes sense - a person who drinks and smokes is less healthy than someone who does not suffer from these addictions. By cheating, a man is looking for novelty, and a woman is looking for the best version of a man. Mutual dissatisfaction and freedom of morals contribute to the fact that betrayal is no longer perceived as a disaster. Although for some it is still a tragedy leading to tragic consequences. Jealous people are not able to forgive adultery to their partner.

Psychologists have identified 10 main reasons for adultery:

1. One woman is not enough for a man. He cannot control his instinctual need and relationships with one partner do not satisfy him. Even if there is love in a marriage, the emotions that the husband experiences when indulging in pleasures with another become an addiction. For some men, secret relationships are akin to adventure and thrill, adrenaline, the threat of being caught red-handed, only fuels passion.

2. Often the motive for betrayal is the desire for revenge. Often it is girls who resort to this technique. The desire to inflict reciprocal pain and strike a blow to pride pushes women into bed with another man. She naively believes that after such an act she will feel better and the pain will subside.

But this is a mistaken opinion. On the contrary, it only gets worse. Contempt for oneself is added to the resentment, especially if the one-time intimate relationship was with someone unworthy. Shame, self-contempt, resentment towards a partner, mental pain - this is what a woman receives instead of the expected moral satisfaction.

3. Disappointment in your man. During the candy-bouquet period, a man puts a lot of effort into making an impression and gaining attention. All these manipulations cause pleasant sensations and surges of joy hormones. The intensity of passions increases, feelings become deeper, until the goal is achieved.

And then the man begins to lose interest in the woman he was pursuing. This happens more often than we would like. The hunter's instinct has done its job and the man becomes bored - he needs new prey. His behavior changes, and this becomes the reason for mutual betrayal.

4. Dissatisfaction in bed. The frequency and quality of intimate contacts may not satisfy either partner. This may be due to differences in temperament, work pressure, stress, or loss of fertility. The second partner begins to look for satisfaction on the side. Men need physical satisfaction, and women are in search of support and praise, which is lacking in the family.

This style of relationship arises from mutual fatigue, but breaking up seems impossible for various reasons. In this case, adultery can become an outlet and even a cure for a sick relationship.

5. Financial dissatisfaction. In this situation, financial assistance from a lover or mistress is added to intimate pleasures. One of the spouses (or both) sells themselves on the side for financial reward. At the same time, it is convenient for him to be married and adultery can last for years.

6. Low self-esteem. It can also cause cheating. In this case, a person (man or woman) increases his HRV by seducing and winning new lovers. So, through betrayal, self-affirmation occurs. At the same time, the presence of family ties also fuels the self-esteem of the cheater or traitor. Even ardent love for one’s chosen one does not become an obstacle to seducing others.

7. Problems from childhood and adolescence can cause adultery. Children who lack the love of adults, teenagers who are victims of bullying, dissatisfied young men and women in adulthood, thus make up for the lack of love in the past.

Children who are victims of overprotection or suffering from parental indifference do not know how to build healthy relationships. In this case, betrayal serves as a psychological buffer between spouses. This problem can be solved with the help of a psychologist by working through the situation in therapy sessions.

8. An expressive temperament can also cause problems in the family. Often this method is used as an opportunity to take revenge for grievances caused - real and imaginary. The reason may be a broken promise, a response to a partner’s betrayal. Usually, if adultery is used as a punishment, then the cheaters are little concerned about the possibility of publicity, and even vice versa. Random victims (lovers or mistresses) of such a situation are not rewarded with sincere feelings, they are simply used for revenge.

9. Biological nature also falls into the list of reasons why adultery occurs. Physical attraction can take even exemplary family men by surprise. However, the difference between civilized people is that they know how to control their animal nature and can resist temptation in the name of moral values. Although we do not exclude this reason as a compelling argument for committing adultery. Strong attraction can overwhelm even those who feel genuine love and affection for their spouse.

10. Unpreparedness for family life. Young couples who enter into early marriages often sin like this. Young age and raging hormones are not conducive to humility. The burden of family relationships can be too heavy for both boys and girls. People usually say about such situations: “We haven’t had enough of it yet.” It is young age and emotional immaturity that pushes spouses to cheat.

Conclusion

At the end of the article about what adultery is in simple words, I would like to add that adultery does not always occur with an internal intention to end the marriage. Most often this is a cry for help, a desire to change something in a relationship. Isolated cases can really strengthen the union of two people, but systematic infidelity does not contribute to a healthy climate in the family.

For those who can step over their negative emotions and establish a dialogue with the other side, new opportunities open up. Many married couples found a solution to their problems only after adultery had occurred. But this is only possible if there is mutual love and a desire to save the family.

Carolina Korableva

About the author: Hello! I am Karolina Korableva. I live in the Moscow region, in the city of Odintsovo. I love life and people. I try to be realistic and optimistic in life. What I value in people is their ability to behave. I am interested in psychology, in particular conflictology. Graduated from RGSU, Faculty of Occupational Psychology and Special Psychology.

Christianity5

The Bible, unlike the Torah, defines clear boundaries between the concepts of adultery and fornication. According to it, fornication is practiced by persons who do not have marital status; in relation to adultery, fornication is a broader concept.

The New Testament continues the Ten Commandments' condemnation of adultery. Adultery in it is obviously condemned in accordance with the seventh commandment of God. Moreover, we are talking here not only about sex, but also about the very thought of it. Jesus Christ taught his disciples that even a look full of lust directed at someone else’s spouse is already equated to betrayal. He considered both divorce and marriage to an already divorced woman to be treason.

By the way, adultery is the only possible reason for divorce in the New Testament. The Apostolic Rules, the Studite Rule and the Jerusalem Rule regarded adultery as a serious crime. It was punishable by the imposition of strict church penance, and in some cases, complete excommunication from the Church.

We invite you to read the Prayer to Panteleimon the Healer for the healing of a sick person

People's reaction to betrayal

Reactions to betrayal, as well as reasons (external and internal) can be very different.

A woman and a man may not accept infidelity and decide not to stay in the marriage. Moreover, this decision may be accompanied by an explosion of emotions, or it may be very quiet.
The deceived spouse prefers not to notice the fact of betrayal.
A spouse (more often a wife) can enter into competition with a lover (mistress) in order to save the family.
The deceived party is content with an apology or compensation for the grievances caused. The main thing is not to become hostage to a vicious circle: cheated - apologized - received forgiveness - cheated again. Although, many spouses tacitly agree with this scheme, while receiving material rewards or not wanting to deprive themselves of their legal status.

General New Testament Testimony

How is the term “adultery” used in the New Testament? Is there any indication that this word simply means a rejection of marriage? We confidently confirm that there is not a single piece of evidence to support this idea. Let's look at a few New Testament passages where the word “adultery” appears.

First, Jesus spoke of those who “look at a woman to lust after her.” He says such a person has “committed adultery” with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28). The term "lust" demonstrates that sexual desire is involved.

Do men lustfully fantasize about breaking covenants? This is not a viable point of view. Moreover, those who have “the eyes of adultery” (2 Peter 2:14) certainly do not look at a marriage document with the intention of tearing it up!

Second, at a certain point the Pharisees brought to Christ a woman who had been caught “in adultery” (John 8:4). In the Greek text the term moicheuomene is the present participle.”

She was in the process of committing adultery when she was detained. The writer even emphasizes that she was “in fact.”

Third, the writer of Hebrews urges Christians: “Let your bed be undefiled. For fornicators and adulterers will judge God” (13:4). How exactly does an adulterer “defile the bed”?

Let the Bible answer this question. According to the Old Testament, Reuben, the son of Jacob, “went to his father’s bedside; then he defiled her” (Genesis 49:4). What was his sin? He “lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine” (35:22). There is no doubt that "adultery" has a sexual connotation in Hebrews 13:4. See also the connection between "bed" and "adultery" in Revelation 2:22.

Why do spouses cheat?

In fact, there are many reasons for adultery. And one of the most common are the notorious crises of living together.

“Deceived illusions” or the crisis of the first year. Starting to live together, people have a hard time getting used to each other. The “rose-colored glasses” fall off and the spouses realize that their choice is not at all ideal. The wife is not at all going to, like a mother, surround her husband with all the benefits. And the husband, it turns out, is not at all going to give up gatherings with friends and spend all his free time with his wife. The situation is aggravated by living together with parents. And protest and disappointment leads to betrayal.
“New impressions” can provoke betrayal both in the case of a woman returning from maternity leave and in the event of a crisis of stagnation. Everything seems to have already been read and viewed. Life gets boring, and so do spouses. Therefore, the craving for novelty and new experiences become the main factor pushing towards betrayal.
“Gray hair, demon in the rib” or a period of revaluation of value becomes the next big test for a man, pushing him to betrayal. “Being a grandfather is not as scary as sleeping with your grandmother.” And this joke reflects the true torment that lives in the soul. Looking at his aging wife, with whom he has experienced so much, a man understands how old he himself has become. But confidence in his inner potential is expressed in his desire to “get younger.” Just such a young person appears on the horizon, next to whom he himself begins to feel younger. Therefore, fear of old age pushes adultery during this period.
For a woman, “forty-five – woman’s berry again” passes under the banner of compensation. Finally, a period comes to women (and for some it starts at 35, for others at 40) when the desire for sex begins to dominate over falling in love. And just at this time, my husband, a peer, begins to experience a natural decline. So younger and more energetic partners turn up.

However, not only crises become the reasons due to which adultery is committed. Sometimes they can be:

self-doubt, which develops into indomitable self-affirmation through the search for new partners;
the inability to get satisfaction, which forces you to experiment with others;
manifestations of attraction to persons of the same sex, while the traditional family is preserved for the public;
public opinion and education, which affirms adultery as something acceptable and “cool”;
revenge for an insult;
an initial misalliance, a difference of views or a large age difference that begins to weigh on one of the spouses over time.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=AOboOw8Kr7w

Greek Old Testament

In the third century BC, the Hebrew Old Testament was translated into Greek. This version is known as the Septuagint. How is this term moicheia used in the Greek Old Testament?

Moses wrote that a person who "commits adultery moicheusetai with another man's wife" is liable to death (Leviticus 20:10)

Note that adultery was not simply abandonment of one's spouse. It involves sexual intercourse with another man's wife.

Regarding ancient Jerusalem, God said:

“I have seen your abominations, even your moicheia adulteries, and your neighing. The debauchery of your harlot is on the hills and fields” (Jeremiah 13:27).

Although “adultery” is used here in the figurative sense of the word apostasy of Judas. There are clear sexual connotations associated with the word. The fact is that sexual activity was a common feature of Canaanite idolatry.

In Ezekiel 16, Jehovah describes Jerusalem as “a woman who commits adultery! Moichomene that takes strangers instead of her husband! ”(v. 32). She “opened her feet to everyone who passed by, and increased her fornication” (v. 25). The graphic nature of this language simply cannot be misinterpreted.

Again, to worldly, idol-worshipping Israel, the prophet Hosea said, “Put away your fornications from among them, and the adultery of the moicheans from between their breasts” (2:2). The hint of immoral embrace is obvious.

Linguists

In conclusion, we should note that some proponents of this new theory have admitted that they have no scholastic support for their argument.

In his debate with this author, Truman Scott (21) admitted that not a single “Biblical dictionary, commentary, Greek dictionary, Greek word study had been produced. Or specific treatises on divorce and remarriage. During the last 350–400 years, which is consistent with its position. Namely, that adultery simply breaks the covenant. A brother will be a “law unto himself” when it comes to defining words.

Rarely do linguists agree so unanimously on the meaning of a word as in the case of “adultery.” In the Old Testament, the term na'aph adultery "represents" sexual intercourse with a wife or betrothal to another man (Harris Archer, and Waltke 1980, 542).

The corresponding Greek word describes “one who has illicit intercourse with the spouse of another” (Vine 1991, 17). Such evidence can be multiplied many times over. But why bother? When does the leading defender of this position admit that his position is not supported scholastically?

A number of respected brothers have shown the complete stupidity of the theory in question. J.D. Thomas, speaking at The Firm Foundation (June 7, 1983), stated that the "covenant-breaking" ideology "has no support from scholarship" and "is a made-up idea, pure and simple." He correctly diagnoses the situation. The theory capitulates to the immoral pressures of our culture (Jackson and Scott, Appendix IV).

Hugo McCord carefully analyzed and condemned this "strange definition of adultery" (n.d., 160–64). Jack Lewis also wrote an excellent article on this topic (1992, 19-20).

We do not help our worldly contemporaries by inventing theories. Which leave them in their sins. And yet, it was our brothers who wrote theories about the meaning of life and the correctness of existence. May God give us the courage to do what is right and right in love. And do not deviate from moral and ethical standards.

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Significance

In the dictionary Complete accentuated paradigm according to A. A. Zaliznya significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant significant, significant, significant ,significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, significant, more significant, more significant, more significant, more significant What is SIGNIFICANCE, 3 GOODNESS

Man and woman

Is it worth confessing?

Let's be honest

: an affair on the side should not become known to the wife, just as the manifestation of compromising behavior should not be noticed by her. It’s as if the man is re-studying his wife’s mood, noticing moments of despondency and joy and trying to support her. He suddenly wants to give her gifts, remember good moments together, and bring some to life. In return, he is guaranteed the care and affection of his wife, which once faded into the background. A short-term affair becomes a catalyst for a good mood for both partners. Feeling her husband’s sudden interest in herself, the woman begins to transform. She wants to match the attention and love that her husband bestows after a long break, and she reciprocates. Feeling a surge of vitality, being motivated for new achievements, a woman wants to be the most charming and attractive to her husband, and she begins to take care of herself: buys beautiful lingerie, takes care of her figure and appearance in general. A new round of the candy-bouquet period begins in the life of the spouses, which, with the efforts of both, can last a very long time. Even if after some time a woman understands what determined her husband’s increased attention, she can easily overcome the feeling of deception. Why make a scandal about what happened in their “past dull life” if everything is great with them now? A man, having gained some experience in a new aspect of interpersonal relationships, will be able to analyze the reasons that pushed him into adultery, and in the future will make every effort to ensure that this never happens again.

Divorce and remarriage

Let us now consider the use of “adultery” as such found in two New Testament contexts. Which specifically address the issue of divorce and remarriage. Let's see if the definition of covenant breaking fits reasonably within these passages. After all, it is well known that if a term is defined correctly, the definition can replace the word itself. And the meaning of the passage will not be compromised.

An innocent woman is being considered here. Who became a victim of her husband. It was removed. Without breaking the marriage covenant. Her husband did. Yet she, if she remarried, would be condemned for adultery. (See Note 2 below.)

This statement makes no sense if “adultery” is defined as breaking a covenant. But it makes sense if a woman involves herself in a new sexual union without the benefit of a divinely sanctioned divorce.

Second, in Matthew 19:9, Jesus taught that anyone who divorces his partner without her being unfaithful commits adultery. The force of the form "commits adultery" (Greek present tense) is this: the offender continues to commit adultery. As Reisser (1976, 583) notes, it “enters the realm of adultery.” Professor William Beck (1963, 37) translates the verb as “he lives in adultery.” Every act of sexual union with an unauthorized partner is adulterous.

However, this grammatical nuance is inconsistent with the covenant-breaking definition of adultery as set forth by our brethren. Proponents of this view argue that adultery was a one-time event. This happened when the divorce was started, and at some point it was completed. This position does not correspond to the meaning of the present tense.