How to get your husband to stop drinking alcohol

Unfortunately, there is no clear answer to the question of how to get your husband to stop drinking. The trouble that has settled in the house leaves its mark on all aspects of life. However, this is no longer life, rather survival in a state of constant anxiety and tension. And only one thought from morning to evening - what to do to stop my husband from drinking.

Trouble has come - open the gate

But in most cases, these consequences could have been avoided if you paid attention in time to too frequent cheerful feasts with friends for any reason.

Young families begin life together according to the rules of single youth parties. They often go to visit, host friends, go out of town and on tours. And everywhere they are accompanied by festive feasts, drinking, fun and funny entertainment under the influence of alcohol. Nobody sees anything wrong with this. Even if fights occur due to drunkenness without serious injuries, this is also perceived as part of a normal vacation.

With the birth of her first child, such adventures come to an abrupt end for a woman. And the young husband, who has not yet realized that he is the father and head of the family, responsible for its future and well-being, continues to walk with friends.

And if a woman tries to reason with him, forces him to be at home and take care of everyday life, even her ex-girlfriends attack her, accusing her of becoming an idiot, becoming a bore, and the like.

And many young women themselves at first like a slightly drunk husband. He becomes so relaxed, cheerful, artistic, sexy, so that both enjoy this state. But as time goes by, my husband drinks more and more. Then he no longer needs friends with whom he will have to share vodka, and he gets drunk at home, alone, in front of his children. Long gone are the fun and drunken intimate games, now he is angry, gloomy and almost incapable of anything in pastels.

And only now, finally, the question arises with all its might of what to do to get my husband to stop drinking.

Dangerous mistakes

Quite often, women make the most terrible mistake - they start drinking with their husbands. Some so that he does not leave home, but drinks under supervision, others so that he gets less, others so that he can restore former close relationships, become “his boyfriend” for him, and so on. A desperate woman is able to find an excuse for any action, not realizing that at this moment she is committing a crime against her own children. When one father drinks, it is not easy, but tolerable, but when both parents drink, it is a disaster in a child’s life. Children are deprived of that bright, carefree feeling of life, for which people who had a normal “peaceful” childhood so sweetly nostalgic throughout their lives. Little people grow up in a state of war and a sense of injustice. It is not surprising that most of them find friends and senior patrons in criminal structures, meeting there the care that they are deprived of in their own family.
The second, no less terrible, mistake is the woman’s decision to give birth to another child so that her husband will come to his senses and stop drinking. Most often, such a decision leads to the birth of an obviously unhealthy child, caring for which takes away the last of the woman’s strength, and the husband drinks more and more.
The third mistake can lead to death for the husband and imprisonment for the wife. Having heard a lot about the miraculous effects of certain drugs or herbs that cause a sharply negative reaction to alcohol, they quietly add such a composition to their husband’s food. It’s good if he just vomits and doesn’t know anything. And if he suspects something is wrong or a reaction from a large dose of alcohol and the drug will lead to death. In any case, children suffer, who may end up in a shelter or with strangers.

Recommendations for the family

It is very important, before you start persuading an alcoholic to take care of his health, to follow a number of rules:

It is necessary to consciously and consistently defend the task.
Select examples from your environment related to successful liberation from alcoholism. Moreover, these people should be an authority for a person.
First, visit a psychologist or narcologist on your own, and then go to a consultation together.
You should stop completely controlling the drinker and show goodwill towards him.
Constantly provide the alcoholic with information about the negative effects of ethanol on the body.
Emphasize as often as possible that you miss your former loved one, his attention and care. Give motivation to return what was lost.

How can I help my husband stop drinking?

Let's make a reservation right away - it is impossible to force an adult to quit drinking alcohol forever. We can only talk about how to convince the husband to stop drinking voluntarily.

To do this, you need to conduct a mini investigation - rewind the tapes of your life and try to understand when and why your husband started drinking like this. Look objectively at your actions and responsibilities in the family. Maybe a man leaves home because it is boring, uncomfortable, dirty, scandals and other reasons why he doesn’t want to be at home.

You need to seize the moment when your husband is sober and in a good mood and just talk to him. Remind how you loved each other, what connects you, what you dream of and what you expect from him, as from a loved one and the father of your children. Ask what he wants and dreams of, and how you can help him.

Try to convince your husband to stop drinking, using the advice of a family life psychologist. You need to be well prepared for such a conversation, show patience, tact and not allow yourself to be led off topic or break into a scandal.

If the conversation was a success, then you should strictly implement the plan, without delaying or calming down until sobriety is firmly rooted in your new life. At this time, you need to especially think through your own actions:

Do not bring alcohol into the house under any pretext;
Avoid companies where drinking is required;
Do not come home smelling of alcohol, or even with a slight smell of alcohol;
Do not create stressful situations in the family;
Watch and discuss popular science films with your husband about the consequences of alcoholism;
Try to remember what hobby he had in his youth, or come up with a new interesting activity;
Show genuine interest in his work;
Gradually involve him in the life of the family, giving simple instructions and each time gently encouraging him for his participation;
Do not leave him unattended for an hour;
On weekends, go outdoors to leisure centers where drinking alcoholic beverages is prohibited;
It’s a good idea to have one common hobby in which all family members, or at least the two of you, can take part.

All this can really be brought to life only in the first stages of alcoholism, when family values have not yet become an empty phrase for a drinker. If the husband is mentally ready to change, but is not able to overcome the craving for alcohol, you can resort to medical methods of correction.

Deliver information calmly and constructively

In those moments when a person is overcome by emotions, it can be extremely difficult to communicate normally and convey information. If a man comes home drunk, there is no need to become aggressive. It is necessary to calm down and approach the task diplomatically. By tuning into a constructive dialogue, a woman will achieve much more.

It is better to calmly communicate your desire to get a divorce than to silently leave in the end. Perhaps the man does not even realize how difficult it is for his wife to live with him. It is necessary to invite your betrothed to a conversation and calmly talk about your condition and attitude to the current situation.

Before discussing the problem, you can write down on paper what should be said to the addict. This preparation will help eliminate mistakes during the dialogue.

In this vein, the husband will take the situation more seriously. If an alcoholic still has feelings for his life partner, he will do everything possible to maintain the union. Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings. Perhaps it is thanks to sincerity that you will be able to reach the drunkard.

Medical assistance for alcoholism

To begin treatment for a patient with alcoholism, his voluntary consent to all proposed methods of therapy is required. Medicines may have various contraindications. Therefore, you should familiarize the doctor with the patient’s medical history.

Today, science provides quite effective methods for treating alcohol addiction:

Coding. It involves administering a drug under the patient’s skin that causes a severe reaction to alcohol, even leading to death. Coding lasts from several months to several years, depending on the patient’s choice. And although this procedure is not carried out without the written consent of the patient, numerous accidents where alcohol led to the death of the patient force some doctors to cheat and sew in a pacifier instead of medicine. The placebo effect also works well, but does not pose a threat to life.

Hypnosis. One of the most effective methods of working with alcohol addiction. The consent and personal active participation of the patient in the process of working on himself during hypnotherapy sessions is important. The disadvantage of this technique, like many others, is that before starting treatment, the drinker must not drink alcohol for several days, and this is very difficult to achieve.

Herbal medicine. Traditional medicine has accumulated many healing recipes for all occasions. You just need to find a good herbalist who will help you find a way to make your husband stop drinking once and for all.

Drug treatment can be supplemented with acupuncture, folk remedies and spells, prayers and everything that does not harm.

Alternative medicine

There are many methods for treating alcoholism. Alternative medicine has many recipes that can cleanse the body of toxins and cause aversion to alcohol. The most popular are:

Herbal infusions (centaury and wormwood, tincture of lovage, etc.).
Treatment with bay leaf, it causes aversion to alcohol.
Drinking soda solution.
Application of birch smoke.

Alternative medicine is rich in recipes that help improve the condition of an alcoholic. You can read about this in the article “The most effective folk remedies for alcoholism without the knowledge of the patient.”

When to retreat

You have to fight for your loved one to the last chance. But sometimes the situation is already too advanced. And once upon a time, a loved one has changed so much that further living together no longer makes sense, but only brings daily traumatic experience.

In this case, there is no need to convince yourself that children need a father, that such a husband is better than none. This is the fear of change speaking. Children do not need such a father, and there is no point in wasting vitality on a person who does not appreciate this and does not even notice. In addition, divorce sometimes affects a drinking man like a cold shower, and for the first time he seriously thinks about how he lived before.

Specific tips for treating an addict

So far we have been looking for common points that set the stage for conversation. But at the time of the conversation, its goals should be clearly formulated:

It should be clear to the alcoholic right away that the purpose of the conversation is to consult a narcologist.
It is necessary to clearly control yourself so that neither by word nor by deed offend your interlocutor, not to offend him, not to offend him, not to let him become withdrawn.
Without unnecessary emotionality, you need to convince the alcoholic that the visit to the doctor is caused by concern about his health, loss of authority among children and friends, and position at work. The combination of gentleness and persistence will give the most positive results.
It should be understood that one conversation is not enough.
Under no circumstances should you follow the advice of relatives and friends: the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Unqualified help is a taboo.
You should not trust advertisements about miracle remedies; it requires creating motivation to visit a professional.
If you cannot achieve the desired result, you should seek the help of a psychologist (house call).
Codependency should not be tolerated.
You should maintain your optimism by reading good literature and classical music. Believe in the success of what you started, rely on love for a loved one, count on family support.

conclusions

In order not to look for a solution to the question of how to force your husband to stop drinking alcohol, it is better to puzzle yourself in time with what to do so that your husband does not drink at all. If it was not possible to stop the phenomenon at the initial stage, you should be patient, as when raising a small child. To be soft, but persistent, beautiful, but inaccessible when he is drunk or resists treatment. Remember all the feminine tricks to maintain his interest in a sober life. But do not forget that you are also responsible for the fate of your children. And if a man categorically does not want to become a good father and husband, he should prepare an escape route and resolutely leave for a new life.