The role of parents in the formation of responsibility
If you want to teach your child responsibility, first teach him independence . In an era of excessive guardianship (the world has indeed become more dangerous, you can’t argue with that), parents give their children less and less free will.
The child gets used to the fact that his mother does the cleaning and autumn crafts for him, and his father does the school project and assignment in physics. He will be picked up from classes by car, and at home he will be fed a delicious ready-made dinner.
And in the event of a conflict with peers, relatives will immediately come running to sort it out - who offended our baby?
It is unlikely that such a permissive and overly caring approach will teach the child responsibility.
In the end, the child will get used to sitting on your neck: we have all seen adult men living with their mothers, working under pressure and not at all independent on the personal front.
Responsibility for one's actions is born along with independence, free will and autonomy . Constant control and readiness to relieve the child of any responsibilities are the main enemies of this process. And a personal example becomes your best friend.
The parent's actions must be consistent. If a student promises that he will clean up after a walk with friends, then in the evening he will be given a broom and dustpan.
And until order is restored - no dinners, cartoons or other entertainment. The child learns to be responsible for his words, promises, and oaths with deeds.
Life skills training
Many experts, for example, psychotherapist Karen Raskin, author of the book “The 9 Key Techniques for Raising Respectful Children Who Make Responsible Choices,” say that the formation of responsibility is not associated with magic tricks in a child’s head, but with accustoming to the most ordinary everyday habits. (“9 key methods for raising polite children who make responsible decisions” - editor’s note):
- Highlight small areas in which the baby can act independently, constantly improving his skills.
- Don't burden him with a giant to-do list; things should be clear and logical. Even a two-year-old can wash his hands before eating, wipe up spilled milk with a paper napkin, pick up the pine cones that have fallen out of his jacket pockets, and try to peel his play-dough off his daddy’s wallet.
- From time to time, let your child help you around the house, let it smell like spring cleaning and moving groceries, it’s worth it.
When to accustom children to adulthood
The boundaries when a child is supposed to fly out of the parental nest and become an adult are blurred. Someone sees the ending of the relationship as “everything for the beloved child” after he reaches 18 years of age.
Others are willing to provide for university studies and wait until the student finds a job. Still others, especially when it comes to daughters, are waiting for a happy marriage and the appearance of their own family.
The last option is the saddest: in fact, a dependent girl is passed from hand to hand, and responsibility for her well-being is placed on her husband.
Teaching responsibility does not have to be harsh. You cannot fully provide, gift and adore your son until he is 23 years old, and then point to the door and say: “And now that’s it, go earn money yourself.”
This will lead to conflict and misunderstanding: what suddenly changed? You need to prepare your offspring for adulthood from adolescence, or even earlier.
Sometimes children don’t even suspect how much money mom and dad spend on them, and how hard it is for them to get the money. Be sure to discuss financial issues with your child. Do this delicately, so that the child does not become envious of his wealthier friends.
Tell us what the family spends money on (food, paying bills, electricity, clothing, travel, gasoline).
The child is able to understand that the TV and the Internet will not work unless the mother pays for them. And therefore, you can refuse some new toy so that there is light and heating in the house.
It's never too early to start . A friend of mine, the mother of an absent-minded first-grader, has her own interesting method. She believes that a child must hit a certain number of bumps in order to want to learn something. Therefore, every evening she trusts him to independently pack his briefcase for the next day.
He himself finds and puts in his backpack a uniform, textbooks, workbooks, paints - everything that will be useful to him in the next day's classes. And, paradoxically, the mother does not run at night to check if he has put everything in.
If he forgets something or, having played too much, skips half of the textbooks, that will be his problem. Which, again, he will decide on his own with the teacher, without parental prompts.
Parents' meeting "How to develop a sense of responsibility in children"
Development of a parent meeting for grade 7 “How to develop a sense of responsibility in children”
Target
: psychological and pedagogical education of parents, increasing the level of their pedagogical culture.
Tasks
: to update the importance of timely development of a sense of responsibility in children; identify possible ways to develop responsible behavior.
Form of conduct
: traditional meeting.
Participants:
class teacher, parents of students.
Progress of the meeting
I. Opening speech by the class teacher
All parents dream of teaching their children to take responsibility for their words and actions. Many families believe that the solution to the problem is to establish permanent responsibilities for Children. It is believed that boys should be tasked with taking out the trash can or mowing the lawn, while for girls there is nothing better than washing dishes and cleaning rooms. In fact, such responsibilities, although important in the home environment, in family life, may still not affect the development of a sense of responsibility in the child. On the contrary, in some families, being forced to fulfill these responsibilities leads to constant quarrels, which reflect poorly on both children and parents. In the end, the child will probably obey and the kitchen will be sparkling clean, but there is no telling what effect coercion will have on character development.
The truth is simple: a sense of responsibility cannot be imposed, it must manifest itself “from within”, based on the value orientation received at home, as well as outside the family.
II. Pedagogical education on the topic “Possible ways to develop responsible behavior”
Awakening responsibility. Wanting to instill a sense of responsibility in our children, we also want them to be guided by the highest values - love of life, love of work, and the search for happiness. However, most often we feel a sense of responsibility, or rather, the absence of it in more specific cases: when a child’s room is a mess, homework is done sloppily, music lessons are neglected, behavior leaves much to be desired.
On the other hand, a child can be polite, keep his room tidy, do everything he is asked to do carefully, and yet make decisions for which he will not take any responsibility. This is especially true for those children who are always being “told” to do something. They are not given the opportunity to form their own opinion about anything, make a choice, or develop certain principles of behavior.
The child’s internal emotional reaction to learning decides everything. It depends on her how much he will consolidate in his consciousness from what we teach him. Values cannot be taught directly. They are learned gradually as the child imitates and identifies with adults who have earned his love and respect.
So, the problem of children’s responsibility for their behavior raises, in turn, the problem of parents’ value system in their orientation towards children’s upbringing. Is there any particular type of behavior with children (in theory and practice) that would help awaken a sense of responsibility in them?
Striving for the goal: daily work. Parents skillfully and consciously awaken a sense of responsibility in children. They let the child know that he has the right to all feelings, but also show him acceptable ways to express these feelings. Incredible difficulties await adults along this path. It is statements like this that only harm the cause.
Negation.
You didn't really mean to say that, because you love your brother.
Non-recognition
. Are you like that with us? No, it’s just that the devil has possessed you!
Suppression.
Will you say at least once again: “I hate you!” - you can't escape the spanking! Good boys don't talk like that.
Embellishment
. Do you really hate your brother? You're probably just tired of him. You need to be able to restrain your feelings.
By saying this, adults forget that feelings, like rivers, cannot be stopped, they can only be directed in a different direction. The existence of strong feelings cannot be denied; attempting to do so will lead to disaster. Their reality and their power must be acknowledged. If we treat them with respect, they will fill our lives with light and joy.
The question remains, what steps should we take to close the gap between our goals and the current state of affairs? Where to begin?
Most likely, you need to create a program that will be a combination of long-term and short-term tasks. At the same time, we must clearly understand that much depends on our relationship with children and that the manifestations of various character traits for children should not be described, but demonstrated.
The first step in implementing a long-term program is to be interested in what children think and feel, and not in their external reactions - submission to us or resistance.
How to understand what children think and feel? They themselves give us the key to understanding this. Their feelings are reflected in words and intonations, in gestures and postures. And our task is to listen, peer, and react sensitively.
Our motto should be: “I want to understand my child. I want to show him that I understand him. I want to express my understanding, discarding automatic criticism and condemnation.”
If a child comes home from school gloomy, silent, and does not answer questions, it is clear that he is in some kind of trouble. Following our motto, we will not start a conversation with critical remarks like:
• Why are you so sour?
• What is this sad grimace?
• What else did you do there?
• What happened to you again?
If we sympathize with a child, we cannot make comments to him that cause him annoyance, hatred, or a desire for the whole world to go to hell.
On the contrary, parents should show that they understand him by saying:
• You are probably in some kind of trouble.
• You've had a hard day.
• You had a hard time today.
• You probably had a fight with someone.
Such questions are a sign of curiosity, statements are a sign of empathy.
Naturally, a child knows only those feelings that he experiences himself. If you only criticize him, he will never learn responsibility. All he can do is curse himself and blame others. He will learn to distrust his own judgment, stop exercising his abilities, and question the intentions of those around him. To top it all off, he will become accustomed to living in anticipation of inevitable condemnation.
If parents and children have a war over household chores (household responsibilities), and in fact a war over instilling a sense of responsibility in children, adults must admit that it is impossible to win this war. Children have more time and energy to resist us. Even if we win one “battle” and achieve our orders, the child may end up getting out of hand. You can win only by winning the child’s trust. This task is difficult, but it is quite possible to achieve it. We need to develop (if we don’t have one) a close relationship with the child.
You can prepare the ground for changes in a child’s character for the better with the help of the following.
1. Listen sensitively to the child. Children experience disappointment and annoyance if they see that their parents are not interested in their thoughts and feelings. As a result, they conclude that their thoughts are stupid, and no one likes them. If parents listen to their child carefully, it awakens a sense of self-confidence in him. This means that he will be more confident in assessing current events and people’s actions.
2. Don't let the grapes of wrath ripen. Parents should consciously avoid such expressions and comments that cause the child to feel rejection and hatred.
Insults. You are a disgrace to your school and family.
Curses. Wimp, fool, idiot.
Prophecies. You'll end up in prison, that's for sure.
Threats. Until you behave well, I advise you to completely forget about pocket money!
Accusations. You always start all quarrels first.
Demonstration of power. Better shut up and listen to what the elders have to say.
3. We ask for “no personalities.” If there is a smell of thunder in the air, it is better for parents to express their feelings and thoughts, sparing the child’s personality and dignity.
If parents listen carefully to the child, refrain from caustic remarks and express their feelings and demands without hurting the child’s pride, different foundations of behavior begin to take shape in the child’s soul. An atmosphere of compassion brings the child closer to his parents. He notices their sincerity, tact, attention and, in turn, imitates them. This change will not happen immediately, but in the end the parents' efforts will be rewarded.
By using these new principles and techniques, parents will achieve a sense of responsibility in their children. But one personal example is not enough. The sense of responsibility develops and strengthens only on the basis of the life experience of the child himself, becoming an important feature of his character. This means that it is necessary to determine the extent of children’s sense of responsibility depending on their maturity.
Responsibility: the right to vote and the right to choose
A sense of responsibility is not innate. It also cannot be acquired automatically at a certain age. Responsibility for one's words and actions is born, like, for example, the ability to play the piano, through many years of practice. And this practice should be daily.
You can instill a sense of responsibility in children from a very early age. To do this, it is necessary to give the child the right to vote, and in matters that are of greatest importance to him, the right to choose. It is necessary to draw a clear line between the right to vote and the right to choose. There are issues that a child can decide for himself: here he should have the right to choose. But in matters relating to the well-being of the child, he has only the right to vote, but not choice. We make the choice for him, while at the same time helping him accept this inevitability.
Let us now consider what specific issues disagreements arise between parents and children due to the lack of a clear boundary between the two areas of responsibility.
Food
Even a two-year-old baby can be asked whether he will drink a glass of milk or half a glass for his afternoon snack. And a six-year-old is quite capable of deciding how to boil eggs for him for breakfast - soft-boiled or hard-boiled.
Children need to be intentionally exposed to situations in which they have to make choices. Parents define situations. Based on them, children make their choice.
A child is not asked: “What should I cook for breakfast?” But they ask him: “Should I make an omelette or fried egg? Should I toast the bread or not? Will you have the porridge cold or warmed up? What should I give you—milk or orange juice?”
We make it clear to the child that in matters affecting him, he himself has the right to choose. He makes decisions that determine his daily life. He must draw this clear conclusion from his parents’ behavior.
Cloth
When buying clothes for children, we ourselves choose what they need and how much money we can spend on it. In the store we select several samples that are equally affordable in price and style, and the child will choose the item that he likes. Thus, even a six-year-old child can choose his own socks or shirts (from those that we have previously selected). True, in many families children are not accustomed to this. There are also adults who cannot buy a suit for themselves without the help of their wife or mother.
As for older children, they should especially be allowed to buy those things that are closest in style to the clothing accepted among their friends and peers. If a boy wears brown leather shoes when the whole class wears blue suede ones, then he is naturally subject to numerous attacks and ridicule. Parents need to know what is fashionable and what is not. The boundaries of responsibility in relation to clothing can be defined as follows: “We offer children samples, they choose from them what they like.”
Hometasks
From the very first year of a child’s schooling, parents should instill in him that responsibility for completing homework rests solely with him. Adults should not bother a child with reproaches about homework. They should not monitor how the child does his homework or check what he has done, unless the children themselves ask for it. As soon as a father or mother starts doing homework with their son, the burden of this responsibility will fall on their shoulders forever. Homework can become a weapon in the hands of children against their parents. Using it, they will take revenge, blackmail, exploit. But you can avoid a lot of trouble if you do not show interest in the smallest details of homework, but clearly affirm: “You are responsible for completing your homework. They are as important to you as our work is to us.” The importance of homework in the early years of school should not be overestimated. There are many good schools where elementary school students receive no homework at all. However, indirect help can be very useful. For example, we can check that no one bothers the child to study, that he has the right books, a comfortable table and the right time for doing homework.
In spring and autumn, it is better to take a walk in the afternoon while the sun is shining, and then start studying. In winter, the days are short, and first the child must do his homework if he wants to watch TV in the evening.
Some children like to play with an adult. It would be a good idea to let your child sometimes study at the kitchen or dining table. You should not make comments that could interfere with work: “Don’t slouch! Button up your shirt! Don’t get the table dirty!”
There are children who like to bite a pencil, ruffle their hair, and rock in their chair while doing their homework - this helps them. When we stop children from doing this, they lose confidence and progress slowly.
You should not interrupt your child from lessons with questions or requests unless it is urgent. We should give him general moral support rather than lecturing and supervising him. Only from time to time can you allow yourself to explain something incomprehensible. However, comments such as:
• If you weren’t distracted all the time, you would have finished doing your homework long ago.
• If you had listened carefully to the teacher, you would have known how to answer this question.
We must provide assistance selectively but with full compassion. It is necessary not to lecture the child, but, above all, to be able to listen to him carefully. We show him the way, but we hope that the traveler himself will reach his destination.
Parents' attitudes towards school and teachers also influence the child's attitude towards homework. If at home they are dissatisfied with the school and underestimate the teachers, the child will sooner or later draw the appropriate conclusions. Parents should support the teacher, especially regarding homework and homework.
Threats and constant reminders about lessons are the usual “weapons” of parents. But it makes them feel better: they are sure that this will help improve the situation. In reality, such methods only bring harm.
Many bright children fall behind in their studies (both in class and when doing homework), expressing their unconscious protest against their parents' aspirations. To become a mature person, every child must separate from his parents and realize his own individuality. If parents react exaggeratedly to grades on a school report card, the child feels that the boundaries of his world are not inviolable for adults: they do not trust him! By refusing to satisfy their Parents' vanity with their achievements, children experience a sense of independence. Thus, the thirst for isolation, awareness of oneself as an independent person sometimes pushes the child to reluctance to study, despite pressure from parents and all kinds of punishment.
It is quite obvious that reluctance to engage is not a simple problem. It cannot be solved by increasing or weakening the pressure of parental will on children. If the pressure increases, resistance to it also increases, while inattention to the child’s activities gives him a feeling of self-doubt and a desire to abandon his lessons. Unfortunately, the solution here does not seem easy or quickly achievable. Some children may need counseling from a psychologist or someone familiar with the practice of psychology. It is unacceptable for parents to do this themselves. Our goal is to make the child understand that he, as an individual, exists separately from his parents and is responsible for his own successes and failures. When a child is given the opportunity to express himself as an individual with his own needs and goals, he begins to realize a sense of responsibility for his actions.
Pocket money
In a modern family, money for small expenses for children (as well as food and clothing) is a matter of course: after all, children are also members of the family. Pocket money is not a reward for good behavior or payment for help around the house. This is one of the child-rearing techniques that has a very clear goal - to teach the child to spend money, choosing things to purchase and being responsible for his choices. Thus, too strict control of spending will destroy the meaning of having pocket money.
You can hardly immediately expect children to spend their pocket money wisely. Many, not yet knowing how to regulate their budget, will spend it all at once. You need to discuss this problem with your child in a businesslike manner in order to come to a mutual agreement. If you repeatedly spend all your pocket money immediately, it may be worth dividing the total amount into smaller parts and giving them to your child twice or thrice a week. It is unacceptable to threaten a child with a refusal to give pocket money when he behaves badly, does not obey, or falls behind in his studies. You should not limit the amount of pocket money during a quarrel with children or increase it during a period of “peaceful” relations.
How much money should you give your children? It is impossible to give a definite answer here. The amount of pocket money should correspond to our budget. Regardless of what our neighbors say, we should not give our child more money than we can afford. If the child protests, you need to answer him sincerely, with sympathy: “It’s a pity that we can’t give you more for your expenses. But we have limited funds." This is better than convincing a child that in fact, the money that we usually allocate is quite enough for him.
Friends and buddies
In theory, we want our children to choose their own friends, and we do not want to put any pressure on them. However, often a child brings friends into the house who seem disgusting to us. Yes, we may not like bullies and braggarts, cowards and wimps, but as long as their behavior does not offend us adults, it is best to calmly examine our child’s inclinations and affections before openly opposing his choice.
How should we measure our children's choice of friends?
Friends should be a beneficial influence on each other. A child needs to communicate with a person who is opposite (and, as it were, complementary to himself) in character, intelligence, and interests. Thus, a withdrawn child needs more independent friends, a “mama’s boy” needs more independent friends, a coward needs someone who is braver. If a child lives in a fantasy world, it is useful for him to communicate with children who have a more prosaic outlook on life. An aggressive child will have to restrain himself when he finds himself in a circle of calmer friends. Our task is to orient the child towards friendship with those who are different from himself.
It is necessary to very delicately adjust the child’s views on the friends he chooses; he is responsible for his choice, and we are responsible for supporting him in this.
Animals in the house
If a child promises to take care of pets, this is only a manifestation of his good intentions, and not proof that he is actually capable of it. A child really needs, say, a dog, he will love it, but only in very rare cases will he take care of it. To avoid unnecessary reproaches and disappointment, you should immediately recognize that caring for the dog falls mainly on the shoulders of the parents. But communication with an animal will bring great benefits to a child - he will learn to bear his share of worries about it, and will understand what responsibility for the life of another is.
How to say yes
Good parents, like good teachers, are always there for their children (students). Such parents are glad if they taught their children to make their own choices and rely on their own strengths. When talking to children, we can consciously use language that conveys our belief in their abilities. If we fully agree with any child's request, we can express this in words that emphasize his independence as an individual. For example:
• If you want.
• If you feel like it.
• It's up to you to decide, not me.
• As you want, so it will be.
• Let it be your way.
• However you decide this matter, I agree.
Of course, a simple “yes” is enough, but it is important to remember that detailed expressions of our consent give the child the most complete satisfaction: we believe in him as an independent person.
III. Summarizing
Speech at a parent meeting.
“How to develop a sense of responsibility in children”
We all understand how important it is to develop a child’s sense of responsibility in business; we want him to be independent, to understand that he has certain responsibilities: cleaning his room, studying homework, and so on. At the same time, we want our children to listen to us and fulfill our demands.
The problem of responsibility is very broad, and today we will look at only one of the sides - what it means to be responsible and how you can promote the development of responsibility in children.
Responsibility and obedience are two different types of behavior. What is their difference? First of all, who decides what the child needs to do and why it needs to be done, that is, what is the motivation.
In the case of obedience, the decision and motivation come from the adult, and the child is simply required to complete the task. For example, a child cleans his room himself, because until he does this, he will not be allowed to play on the computer (this is obedience).
In case of responsibility, the child makes the decision to complete the task himself, he agrees to complete it and understands why it needs to be done. For example, a child does all his homework every day.
Children need to be taught both obedience and responsibility. In many situations, obedience is indispensable. Living in society requires the ability to follow certain rules. Imagine what could happen if everyone decided for themselves which side of the road to drive their car on.
However, thoughtless obedience can be just as dangerous as reckless independence. If we care about the well-being of our children, if we want to protect them from alcoholism, drugs, and totalitarian sects, our task is to teach them not only to obey others, but also to make independent decisions and act on the basis of their own convictions.
Responsibility has several components.
First of all, this is an understanding of the task, that is, knowledge of what needs to be done and how it needs to be done. What may seem like laziness or irresponsibility is often the result of a lack of understanding of the task at hand.
To do this (understand the task), it is necessary for the child and parent to clearly discuss everything with each other. For example, if we want a child to clean the room, we can tell him: “Please clean the room: wipe the dust, vacuum the floor, put things back in their place.” Of course, if the child has already completed a similar task before, you can get by with a short request.
Further, responsibility is characterized by agreement with the task. We all want children to happily complete the assigned tasks. Consent no longer implies just obedience, but responsibility.
In practice, a sense of responsibility manifests itself if the child has a choice, that is, he is free to complete or not complete the proposed task. For example, a child himself decides to do one extra math task every day, and no one forces him to do this.
Of course, there is always a chance that the child will refuse. In every family there is something that children are obliged to do, and they may refuse to do some work. It is important to give a child the opportunity to choose only if we ourselves are ready to agree with his refusal. If we want a child to learn to think independently, it is important for him to learn to say “NO.” Before you ask your child to do anything, you need to make sure that he actually has a choice. If there is no choice, it is better not to ask, but simply to say, “Daughter, whiten the room.”
Finally, an important part of responsibility is the ability to independently motivate your own actions. How to develop this ability?
First of all, it is important to give the child the right to choose, and we ourselves determine the possible options: “What will you drink: juice or compote? Which T-shirt should we buy: green or red?
When the child has learned to choose from what is offered, you can ask him what he himself offers. For example: “Where do you think we can all go together on Sunday?”
It is very important to discuss with children the possible consequences of certain actions. Children should know that any actions have their consequences and different actions lead to different results.
It often turns out that children, with all their desire and desire for independence, are not able to cope with various everyday tasks on their own. The fact is that responsibility is formed gradually.
Three levels of responsibility can be distinguished.
At the first level, the child acts as an assistant, helping the adult do some work. At the same time, he learns how this work should be done. And at this level, the participation and help of adults is very important. For example: when children start studying in the first grade, they do their homework together with one of the adults.
Second level. The child needs reminders and control, although he already knows all the steps to complete a task. For example, a child himself packs a briefcase for tomorrow, but sometimes forgets about it and needs to be reminded.
The third level of responsibility is independence. The child not only does all the work himself with satisfactory results, but also no longer needs reminders. The transition to this level is the goal of our efforts.
Of course, we would really like the child to fulfill most of his duties responsibly. Unfortunately, this is impossible to achieve immediately; the child needs the help of an adult.
Levels of assistance correspond to levels of responsibility:
1. help or do things with him (the child);
2. control or reminder;
3. the joy of achievement is more complete - the child is able to do something without outside help. In conclusion, I would like to summarize.
The formation of responsibility is a long process that is quite difficult to trace. Any educational influence has two types of consequences: immediate and delayed. If immediate consequences are noticeable immediately, then delayed ones take a long time to appear. But if over and over again a parent uses methods aimed at instilling responsibility, then gradually quantitative changes occur into qualitative ones.
I end my speech with the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry:
“Being human means feeling responsible. Feel shame in front of poverty, which, it would seem, does not depend on you. Be proud of every victory won by your comrades. To realize that by laying your own brick, you are helping to build the world.”
“How to develop a sense of responsibility in children?” Psychological age characteristics of a teenager. “In adolescence, many human virtues are manifested in eccentric and inappropriate actions” I. Goethe “How to develop a sense of responsibility in children?” What is the difference? THE DECISION AND MOTIVATION COMES FROM THE ADULT, THE CHILD IS JUST PERFORMING THE TASK THE CHILD MAKES THE DECISION HIMSELF, HE AGREES TO DO IT, UNDERSTANDS WHY IT NEEDS TO BE DONE Responsibility is a feeling when you understand that you must act in a certain way because it is your responsibility, duty, and you will be to blame if anything happens. COMPONENTS OF RESPONSIBILITY 1. Understanding the task (knowing what needs to be done and how it needs to be done)2. Agreement with the task 3. The ability to independently motivate one’s own actions. Give the child the right to choose.2. Ask the child’s personal opinion. 3. Discuss the consequences of certain actions. How to develop a child’s ability to independently motivate their activities? Three levels of education for responsibility 1. Child as an assistant.2. The child needs reminders and control.3. The child completes the task independently. Psychophysical development of adolescents Adolescence leads to temporary destabilization of the body's defenses, which reduces resistance to harmful influences. Functional abnormalities in the cardiovascular and nervous systems may be observed: increased blood pressure, cardiac arrhythmia, neurovegetative instability. What's happening to them? The development of a teenager is the beginning of the search for oneself, one’s unique “I.” The path to becoming an individual. A time of aggravation of problems, when mutual misunderstandings often arise between children and adults. Nothing special, they are just growing up. Emotional excitability in adolescence is increased, which is associated with hormonal and physiological changes in the body, and rapid mental processes occurring in the brain. Mental imbalance, sudden changes in mood, irritability, anxiety, isolation, shyness - these character traits that appear in adolescence complicate relationships with others and lead to conflicts with peers and parents. The isolation and feeling of inferiority characteristic of this age sometimes develop into self-isolation, making it difficult to communicate with others and choose a life path. Critical attitude towards previous authorities. Increased expenditure of body resources; Emotional instability (unexpected transitions from rosy hopes to despondency and pessimism). Adolescents are contradictory: in the family they strive for their independence, the right to do their own thing, and among their peers they are compromisers, showing excessive dependence on someone else's opinion. Interest in the opposite sex, increased attention to one's appearance. Teenagers may suffer from low self-esteem and become shy and homebodies. These typical problems of adolescence fall like an avalanche on the fragile psyche of a still young child, causing changes in his behavior and bewilderment among parents. Personality traits of a teenager Intransigence towards evil, emotional rejection of it is combined with the inability to understand the complex phenomena of life (if you extinguish the emotional impulse, you will get a cold, calculating person). A teenager wants to be good, strives for the ideal. He doesn't like being raised straightforwardly. The inexperience of a teenager can lead to the fact that, out of good intentions, he can do something reprehensible. A teenager wants to be an individual. Do something romantic, unusual. Plurality and instability of desires (wealth of desires and limited strength). A teenager combines romantic enthusiasm and rude antics (maybe...) Memo for parents Try to talk with your child openly and frankly about the most sensitive topics. Beware your child receiving information from other people’s lips. If you don’t know something or doubt something, do not hesitate to say so. During puberty, it is important for boys to receive support from their mothers, and for girls from their fathers. Show affection to to your children, show them your love. Be especially attentive and observant, pay attention to any changes in your child’s behavior. Try to protect your child by all possible means if he needs it. A child’s independence should not be seen as a threat to lose it. Remember that the child does not need independence so much as the right to it. Do not overload the child with care and control. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION!!!
Responsibility and independence - how to develop them
It is important to understand what responsibility is. Many see in her decency, obedience, the ability to obey - but these are incorrect interpretations .
If a child is in no hurry to follow your order (“Clean up your mess quickly!”), this does not mean he is irresponsible.
Psychologists believe that independence is formed earlier. Preschoolers eagerly grab the broom with a victorious cry of “I myself.”
This inspiring era should not be ignored - allow the little one to carry out activities without your help, but keeping an eye on safety.
The heyday of responsibility occurs in adolescence, but is based on the same independence.
A responsible child not only knows how to do his homework, tidy up his room and cook his own lunch, but also does it on time, efficiently, at his own request, without reminders or control.
