Projection is an impulse that belongs to a person, but is not appropriated by him as his own, but is attributed to the environment and other people, and then experienced as directed against the person himself.
Projective statements often contain generalizations: “everyone”, “always”, “never”, “people”, “people around”, etc. As a rule, an introject is behind the projection. For example, a person who has “swallowed” the belief that it is bad to be angry does not “see” his anger and is not aware of it, but it seems to him that those around him are often angry with him.
From Polina Gaverdovskaya’s lecture on projection:
How projection occurs
Higher mental functions are the mechanisms by which a person’s brain adapts to the outside world: thinking, memory, perception, attention, will.
Perception is a function that connects us with the world through the senses (vision, hearing).
Perception uses information received from the external environment, but draws a lot from experience. I see that it’s wet, and I don’t have to touch it. A small child already recognizes a puddle. And we don’t have to cut ourselves when we see something sharp.
We store information in the form of images using memory.
That is, when I recognize something as something and I don’t need to check, it’s a projection. And in this sense, perception is projective. Perception is the projection of our past experiences onto upcoming events.
But it happens that in order to be sure, it would be nice to touch it. Wet is wet, and if we don’t know for sure, we can feel it. But if we see that the other is evil, then we don’t want to check. And if I grew up among angry and aggressive people, I won’t even check. When I was little and checked, it flew to me.
The problem with projection is that it is also unconscious. When I am not aware, projecting, and cannot yet verify, then I find myself in a separate world inhabited by my characters.
Because I can't verify, these characters don't go anywhere, and because I project unconsciously, I can't get out of this world. And then I am very closed and limited in the way I behave.
Relationships: the power of projections
Last time we explored the thorny path for most of us in the development of relationships as the individual grows: codependency (not free from you) -> independence (freedom from you) -> interdependence (freedom for both of us).
In theory, everything looks beautiful, and at the level of consciousness, the vast majority of people will prefer relationships out of freedom and love. However, life is life: in practice, we are most often captured by our unconscious, and our reactions are largely determined by old patterns and programs.
Freud also voiced the assumption that we have an irresistible desire to restore and then play out patterns of our earliest relationships, especially relationships with parents or those who replaced them, in later significant relationships. And all this in order to heal the wounds remaining after that relationship, to “win” where there was previously “defeat”. He called it "forced repetition."
We choose a partner based on traumas that originate in childhood (or, as we found out in RPT-2, in fetal development, when we turned to our mother for protection), and can also be inherited by us.
For example, if our parents constantly controlled us and showed their power, then our wounds are opened in a relationship with a strong partner. At first, such a partner seems ideal to us... The trigger is pulled when we feel controlled, criticized or patronized. The other person turns into a monster and we become angry or go into shock, shut down, run away, defend ourselves or give up... On the other hand, perhaps our parents were irresponsible and depressed. In this case, we may find ourselves in a relationship with a person who tends to go into shock, fall out, or give up at the slightest stress. And then every time our partner does not show responsibility or care, we feel betrayed and abandoned.
We are like magnets for each other: we attract only those who “play along” with us, and unconsciously look for an opportunity to change. We run around in the circle of life and become more and more frustrated because the partners we are attracted to continue to “win,” adding to the hurt and the pain.
This is repeated until we go beyond our childhood patterns of behavior. But this is the way... There is a great temptation to completely abandon depth in relationships and real intimacy. Choosing superficial connections to satisfy basic needs is like swimming in shallow water, in a “paddling pool.” Often, this is the initial desire of a person who has escaped the shackles of codependency (attachment) to rid himself of these triggers. But the price of such “freedom” is loneliness, refusal to develop and know oneself through another.
Those whose bar is high and who strive to create interdependent relationships or relationships from freedom (when two people can be independent, whole, autonomous people, they no longer need to defend themselves from each other, control and manipulate; when a loved one can be open, real , whole, who he is) will face difficulties and obstacles. How can we give ourselves and others the freedom and respect we desperately want? How can you give someone else the love and space they need without betraying yourself? How to care without becoming a controller and allow others to care while remaining holistic and self-sufficient?
One of the most mysterious and powerful forces that prevents true intimacy is projection...
Projection (Latin projectio - throwing forward) is one of the forms of psychological defense in which unconscious personal qualities, needs, and drives are projected onto other objects. We project onto others parts of ourselves that are inside us, but suppressed and not lived by us.
Features of projections
- Projection is closely related to suppression and repression.
They don’t want to see and accept the child as he is; they begin to change him by force, i.e. bring up. Society and parents cannot come to terms with many of his character traits, and these aspects of the soul (parts) are suppressed and denied. Our Inner Child suffered from wounds inflicted by the supposed care of people who love us, who might laugh at us, tease us, disrespect us, ignore us, physically punish us, or ignore our most important needs. To hide the pain caused, we were forced to hide part of our “I” from the whole world. During this process, we hid this part of ourselves and from ourselves. And over time, they stopped noticing it altogether.
The most effective method that causes people to separate and then reject parts of their “True Self” is shame - a feeling of one’s own inferiority, insufficiency, inadequacy. He convinces me that I am the bad one, and nothing can be done about it. I'm inadequate and flawed...
It is unbearable to live with a feeling of shame. As soon as we begin to consider our “True Self” inferior and defective, we create a “False Self” - a mask that hides all our “unworthiness” behind us. Instead of developing in our nature, we become what they want us to be, what we are forced to be. We try to be good, first as children, well, and then in everything that they say: good students, citizens, parents, etc., but good not for ourselves, but good for others, focusing on external approval.
We direct a significant part of our energy to keeping ourselves in the state in which others want to see us, and not to living to the fullest, using all our internal resources. And therefore, by the age of nineteen or twenty, most of us had separated and hidden almost all vital qualities: creativity, passion, sexuality, the ability to feel deeply, energy, spontaneity, strong desires, enthusiasm, dreams and much more of what is considered frivolous, unattractive or simply unacceptable by someone else.
However, we leave many aspects of life unknown and unexplored. And many of our qualities, buried alive in the most remote corners of our consciousness, instead of bringing us joy, bring us only pain and suffering. They're not going anywhere. They sit deep underground and undermine us from within.
Separated and repressed parts always exist outside of our consciousness. If, for example, a person suppresses his anger and always tries to calm down or agree, he will feel like a pleasant person. However, people with whom he interacts can feel his anger, which manifests itself in subtle ways. They may notice a clenched jaw, furrowed brows, critical remarks, a tense posture, or harsh intonations in the voice.
But the suppressed breaks out, rebels and is indignant. It wants to come into the light, and so it has to be pushed away again and again. That’s why it’s scary to meet with yourself, with your wounded Inner Child. It’s scary to think what she has become, this suppressed piece of the soul. She's here, she hasn't gone anywhere. That's where the fear comes from. We are afraid of ourselves, we save ourselves from ourselves by entering into relationships, but it is relationships that help reveal and bring to light everything hidden. Therefore, we are frightened by the depth in relationships - in them we will inevitably face ourselves and our “monsters”. Then goodbye respect, love and recognition! And not only those around you, but also your own. But here we are protected by our projections...
It is the traits and habits that are repressed into the unconscious that “do not correspond to the norm” from the point of view of parents, teachers or society and that we subsequently project outward.
Most people keep their True Self from coming into the world unsanctioned by focusing on not doing what others are doing. They are the “bad” ones, not me.
- Projection always occurs automatically. We take our past experience and transfer it to a new one (situation, person, etc.), as if all this had already happened in our lives. The moment we are hurt, we stop seeing our partner. In front of us at this moment is someone else - father or mother, sister, brother, first teacher, friend...
- Projection is also an avoidance of responsibility. When we find ourselves trapped in any kind of projection, we convince ourselves that someone else is responsible. He contributes to the release of our wounds into the light of day, and therefore it seems completely natural that he is the culprit of our pain.
This leaves us with little space to see what is really going on inside. Responsibility presupposes that we are able to distinguish the stimulus from the source.
Rejected parts of ourselves
We are both attracted and repelled by the parts of ourselves that we see reflected in others. This is what explains our likes and dislikes. Attracts because we want to rediscover these unlived parts, and repels because conditioning has taught us to reject these parts. Modest and responsible people are fascinated by those who are fearless and unpredictable, those who are dependent are fascinated by those who are free, those who are weak by those who are strong, those who do not accept themselves by those who are crazy about themselves, those who are closed by those who are open and emotional...
The other, like a mirror, reflects our needs: hunger, fears and strength, wildness and sensitivity of our Inner Child, buried under projections. What we reject or admire in others is what we reject or suppress in ourselves.
In projections, we often wage a continuous internal war: we judge others for what (freedom, spontaneity, self-love...) that we ourselves would like to have or be, but which we are too afraid of. So instead of getting stuck in roles that are familiar and safe, and attacking others for what our limitations cannot understand, we can begin to use the other to expand.
We all project. At this stage of human existence, there is no escape from projection, since projection is an integral part of our life today. However, it is up to us whether projection becomes an intense source of our growth, or suffering and difficulties. Potentially, every projection has this possibility, depending on the awareness and understanding with which we approach it.
The most common projection is the projection of one’s need for parents onto others.
Projection not only determines what kind of partners, and indeed people in general, we attract to ourselves, but also influences our behavior in relationships with others.
We project the unconscious and unsatisfied needs of our Inner Child for a “true parent” (his love, recognition, support and care), which we have never had, onto the one who happens to be nearby. This poisons our lives and cuts off the path to intimacy.
Our Inner Child is not attuned to the needs of others; he is interested exclusively in his own needs. He doesn’t care what his partner needs, the main thing for him is what he needs. As long as my needs are met, I am loved, if not, then they are not loved.
Projection in codependent relationships
“Inner Child”, “Inner Parent” - these are states that each of us has, without exception. Only the degrees of their manifestation in one person or another are different.
It happens that, under the pressure of external circumstances, we push one of the states deeper into ourselves, do not allow ourselves to be in it and, in the end, forget that it is in us. Thus, we destroy our integrity and become half-hearted.
If our basic state is the Child state, projection causes us to see the parent in our love partner. If our main state is the state of the Parent, the projection makes our love partner a child for us, and we react to him as our parents once reacted to us.
Projection and then mutual dependence (codependency) makes such relationships false. In such roles, one (Parent) constantly gives, the other (Child) pays for it with freedom. Therefore, sooner or later a storm arises, which then develops into a storm. After all, those who play the role of a parent also experience the need for love and protection, they also have wounds. Simply due to his conditioning, it is more familiar and safer for him to hide them behind the mask of an all-knowing and controlling person. But in such relationships, everyone doesn’t “have enough air.” The one who plays the role of a child, due to his reluctance to grow up and take responsibility for his own life, eventually gets tired of the “shackles” and starts a rebellion.
Since this projection and this situation in general are not conscious, one or both partners begin searching for the next partner, are eliminated, or create a conflict.
The conflict between an internal need (often unconscious ) and the impossibility of satisfying it creates all our unhappiness (I want something, I intuitively chose you to give it to me, but you only bring me pain). Therefore, it is so important to take responsibility for your needs upon yourself, and not dump it on someone else in the expectation that this other will take and satisfy them, often at the cost of their own.
How to recognize projections
In order to return to yourself, you need to get to the bottom of your cut off and repressed into the “unconscious” qualities. This can be done by identifying your projections:
- Psychological rule derived by K. Horney: “Listen to how a person scolds another, in this he gives himself a characteristic.” By listening to our complaints about others, we can learn a lot about ourselves.
- Another path on the path to your “True Self” can be observing your reactions to accusations made by others against you. In this case, the psychological rule will work: “If you were called a fool and we were offended, then you really are a fool.” In other words, if we reacted to accusations against us with resentment or anger, then there is a grain of truth in these accusations. Our reaction to another person, to his behavior, words can tell a lot about our personal suppressed and therefore unlived qualities.
- Some tips for working with your projections on your own (from the book “Escape from Intimacy” by Berry K. and Janae B. Weinhold):
- Remember the incident. When you experienced a sudden rush of feelings, felt the blood running through your veins, your heart beating faster, and you froze in place. Or they were ready to fight. Or run away. These symptoms automatically appeared in your body due to the fact that you sensed danger. If your reaction was to want to fight, you could have been projected.
- Remember a time when your reaction was stronger than required, and you made a mountain out of a molehill. Your reaction indicates that your feelings may have come from some other incident. Ask yourself: “Am I really at risk in this situation?” If you answer “no,” then ask yourself another question: “When have I felt this way before?” This will help you realize that you have returned to a previous period of your Higher life when you felt in danger. Ask yourself: “What was left undone in that past situation that is causing me to react and feel threatened now?”
- Think of a conflict in which you were completely focused on what others said or did. Displacement of attention is a form of projection that helps you avoid experiencing and/or not admit your participation in the conflict. Identify how you felt during this conflict and ask yourself, “When have I felt this way before?” Note whether you use emotionally charged words such as “always” or “never” when describing the situation. If so, this could also be an attempt to avoid strong feelings from the previous incident.
Recognizing patterns in relationships
Take time to explore all of your significant relationships.
- When you review the relationship you are in right now (if you have one) and those in the past, do you notice that you were treated in similar ways?
- In what ways do you allow yourself to be abused, mistreated, or misunderstood?
- What things did you compromise on?
- How did you commit violence, and is there a familiar role in this?
- Have different partners given you the same characteristics? Do you react in the same way?
- Do you always protect yourself the same way? Is there a pattern to this?
- What are your core negative beliefs about love and openness that have been confirmed over and over again?
Perhaps, unconsciously, you built this relationship to complete something? Often those relationships that seem the most difficult and painful are actually the best opportunities to learn something. Pay attention to each of these relationships to see if there is a lesson that can be learned from them. What attracted you to each other, was it healthy? What do you choose as the basis for your attraction?
Restoring personal integrity and healing our Inner Child
We all crave intimacy. But when two people get deep into a relationship, it is quite predictable and guaranteed that at some point they will open each other's deepest wounds and press on each other's most sore points. This is a sign of a good relationship, a real relationship.
And the first thing that comes to light is our wounded Inner Child. And this is a chance to see this vulnerable part of yourself, accept it and love it.
Our Inner Child suffered from wounds inflicted by the supposed care of people who love us, who might laugh at us, tease us, disrespect us, ignore us, physically punish us, or ignore our most important needs. To hide the pain caused, we were forced to hide part of our “I” from the whole world. During this process, we hid this part of ourselves and from ourselves. This was our survival strategy as children. Now that we are adults, this is a path to nowhere, this is real self-sabotage. By rejecting our frightened Child, we split off our own vulnerability (and with it, innocence). This is how we create internal splitting, refusing integrity. But hidden vulnerability continues to have a powerful influence on us, but now unconsciously. And many situations, especially in intimate relationships, reflect the kind of internal split we have created between the parts that cope with fears and avoid them, and the part that carries them within itself. The other (partner) in a relationship raises our unhealed wounds from the past, activating defenses, fears, resentments and disappointments.
If we can embrace our needy Child and begin to feel and accept the hunger, fear and pain within, we will return to ourselves, our wholeness, and again in exchange we will receive love from others as a gift, not as satisfaction of our needs or just affection.
As we become more aware of our own projections, we come to parentally care for our Inner Child. We begin to take responsibility for our needs, rather than unconsciously expecting others to meet them. .
Intimate relationships are no longer the life of parent and child; It's a friend and friend situation . Here's what Thomas Truob writes about this in his book Facing Fear: “One of the beauties and paradoxes of intimacy is that we can actually get the parental care we need, but only when we are aware of our projections.” . With awareness, we can take turns being each other's Parents and taking turns expressing the Child. This approach will allow us to get closer to each other.
And then the people whom we once thought of as “enemies”, the sources of our pain, will turn into “the lost part of yourself.” We stop looking outside for what we need. And we begin to see others as they are, and not our projections on them. This is where a reliable foundation of true intimacy and love is laid.
“As soon as you hide at least some part of yourself, there is no longer intimacy in the relationship. You need complete trust, total openness, vulnerability - this is the only way to get the keys to the doors...” (Osho).
Projection Examples
From the book Psychology in Cinema
A person with sacrificial behavior scenarios, accusing others of using him, refuses to admit that he himself uses others, involving them in his eternal game of “Doing good and benefit.” He tries when no one asked him to, only to then accuse those gifted with his care of ingratitude and “hook” them into feelings of guilt.
A person who suddenly begins to worry that his partner has stopped loving him (has become much more indifferent, has grown cold and will soon leave) does not realize that, perhaps, he himself has lost his former excitement and warm feelings for his partner and the need to separate has long been ripening within him . Moreover, the greater the fear that his partner will leave him, the stronger his own separation impulses, which are not realized.
Projection at its maximum is paranoia . The paranoid person who perceives the world as aggressive and persecuting is in fact himself extremely aggressive and does not realize that he would like to persecute others. A striking example is Harry Caul from Francis Coppola's The Conversation. Read about the paranoid personality type here.
Another example of projection is a dream. Read about working with dreams here
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General concept of projection as a defense mechanism
Definition 1
Projection is the process of subconsciously attributing one’s own qualities, feelings and desires to others. Projection is a consequence of another protective psychological mechanism - repression. Thanks to projection, a person gets the opportunity to find justification for many of his actions, for example, when aggression is shown, a person perceives his environment as equally aggressive and justifies his behavior as a defensive reaction to negative manifestations of the environment.
Projection is possible not only in relation to negative qualities, but also positive ones. In this case, the individual suppresses the positive qualities in himself and projects his positive characteristics onto other people.
Finished works on a similar topic
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In the life of every person, forms of projection can be traced in everyday affairs and behavior. This finds its manifestation in criticizing one’s surroundings, while not paying attention to one’s own shortcomings, blaming other people for one’s troubles and failures.
Often the defense mechanism of projection leads to a distorted perception of the surrounding reality. Most often, this mechanism finds its manifestation in easily vulnerable and sensitive people who are prone to low self-esteem and an overly critical attitude towards the properties of their own personality.
In extreme cases, when psychological pathologies occur, this mechanism can lead to hallucinations, delusions, and a person’s loss of the ability to distinguish their fantasies from the real life around them.
Working with projection in therapy.
In therapy, one must begin by identifying the unconscious projection. -Are you angry with me - no - no you are angry. Why do you think so? – I see, and there is no doubt about it.
We start with the merger, this is the first step to sow doubt in the client. -Tell me, do you notice how sure you are that I’m evil? (Turning attention to yourself).
After the client notices his confidence, you can talk to him about it. -Tell me why you are so confident.
You can ask clarifying questions: - How do you even know that another person is evil? Who else does this look like? How do you generally deal with evil people? What important people were angry with you?
Or work in the here and now: -And how do you recognize me as evil, by what signs.
By describing the experience, the client can separate from it, and this will be a way out of the merger.
We look at this projection, pretending that it is part of perception: - Ok, are you sure that I’m angry, tell me about it, how you saw it.
Beiser's law (the theory of paradoxical changes) will work here - as I realize something, I am already different - I am now the person who realizes it.
Awareness will come by itself. Doubts will arise on their own, and the therapist’s job is only to support them.
You can ask whether such situations are repeated with other people. As soon as the client agrees that yes, people are different, they change, and he carries the image with him, these are two steps before assigning a projection.
Sometimes we project what concerns us (I'm angry myself right now), and sometimes I project not what is in me, but what I had.
Projecting your past experiences.
I project onto the outside world something that I already had - it saves my energy. I don't need to explore anymore, I have a template, a packaged reality. Someone is driving aggressively, I will slow down. Mom walked around with a chicken tail on her face, and now when I see this on others, I try not to communicate. This is an adjustment moment.
Projecting what is inside me but is not conscious.
When I project something that is in me, this is a type of handling of psychic material when it has disappeared from me, but not entirely. My psyche does not have the strength to completely contain him (for example, this is due to shame, a ban on anger).
Projection is an attempt at adaptation.
Assigning a projection in therapy is the last stage when we ask the client: is this really me or you?
If all stages are completed, the last one occurs by itself.
And even if something unpleasant is assigned: it’s me who is evil, it’s me who’s fragile, it’s me who didn’t want to communicate with you, etc., then the client’s feelings are still pleasant, because there are more of me and everything fell into place.
From Tretyak’s lecture L.L.:
When working with projection
we use directed fantasy (in fact, any fantasy is a projection), we follow it (fantasy) and consider it to the end, so as to reveal the final emotional content, reversal of the projection (change from “you” to “I”, “it” to “I”), assignment of projection, identification with projection.
Sometimes we can do a guided projection, mind reading, or, for example, highlight someone from the group to whom certain thoughts or feelings are attributed (who is most judgmental or feels something), role-playing, asking questions - “how are you?” you will find out about this...” and “what will happen if...”.
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Regression.
Anna Freud believed that when something unpleasant happens to us, we often regress to the behavior patterns we used when we were younger. In particular, we are doing what children usually do when they want to avoid responsibility. For a child, someone else is always to blame, most often the parent, and he must correct the situation.
In regression we experience an infantile sense of our own purity and innocence. It's all the rest of the world's fault. Everyone else needs to figure out the problems. According to Anna Freud, it is normal for most otherwise healthy adults to regress under the pressure of circumstances. This only becomes a problem if it goes on for too long.
Summary about projection
Projection
– a person tends to attribute his feelings, emotions, problems, thoughts to the environment.
Examples. “I’m not angry, it’s everyone around me who’s angry at me.” An anxious person believes that others are too anxious. Kind people believe that everyone around them is kind. So, a person who is angry can ask another “why are you so angry?”
Symbolic meaning of projection : “Instead of you, I see another / myself.
Symbolic image of projection: Cinema screen, mirror.
Verbal indicators : the word “I” is replaced by “you”, “he”, “she”.
Nonverbal indicators of projection : Avoiding eye contact. Gestures. directed at another.
What happens to arousal aimed at achieving contact: The source of arousal is attributed to another.
Pronoun: “it” or “they” instead of “I”.
Therapist's actions: Help the client to discover and accept the rejected parts and his personal experience. Replacing “you”, “he” with “I”. Orientation in the environment by recognizing the client’s usual behavior.
All mechanisms for interrupting contact in Gestalt (fusion, introjection, projection, etc.)
Fantasizing.
Fantasizing is avoiding problems through fantasy, isolating oneself from reality: from daydreaming to reading literature and watching porn. We use it to transport ourselves from a world that threatens us in order to find comfort elsewhere.
Preview: Sigmund Freud in his office in Vienna with his daughter Anna, 1937. The photograph was taken by Princess Eugenie of Greece, daughter of Marie Bonaparte.
See also:
- Carl Jung: Tarot cards as a path to the unconscious
- Sigmund Freud Speaks: The Only Recording of the Voice of the Founder of Psychoanalysis (1938)
- “Imperfection is the only thing that makes us unique.” Brene Brown on shame and vulnerability
- Video interview with Carl Jung: why it is necessary to study the psyche, what a person cannot put up with and where is the source of evil
July 6, 2018
