Raising a son: age up to 3 years. Our child.

Many parents are frightened by the period of preparing their child for school and the beginning of educational activities. There are significant changes in his personality, behavior and lifestyle. It becomes important not only to instill new skills, habits and interest in learning, but also to show special attention to the true interests and needs of your child during this difficult time. When thinking about how to raise a 6-7 year old child, remember not only the upcoming tasks, but also the peculiarities of development at this age.

Features of the development of children at 2-3 years old

After 2 years, most children noticeably improve their speech, their vocabulary grows, and they begin to construct simple sentences of 2-3 words.
At this age, children almost completely master self-care skills: they go to the potty on their own, wash their hands, eat carefully with a spoon, drink from a mug, and can get dressed and undressed.
Breastfeeding goes away completely, the child eats adult food and shows his culinary preferences even more clearly.
Most children start going to kindergarten at 2-3 years old. The most favorable period for starting a visit is considered to be when the child reaches the age of 3 years, when the connection with the mother gradually begins to weaken and the desire to communicate with peers appears. Adaptation to kindergarten in this case is less painful.
The child actively explores the boundaries of what is permitted, learns the rules of behavior and tests the parents’ strength. Surely you have noticed that your child has already learned to “cunning”, observes the reaction of adults to his actions, and can behave completely differently with mom, dad, grandmother and other relatives.
The baby continues to manipulate objects even more actively, his actions become more accurate, and coordination of movements improves.
By the age of two, a child knows the actions of people, animals, the purpose of objects, for example, that “a bird flies”, “a car drives”, “they wash their hands with soap”, etc.
Babies at this age are very excitable. But it can sometimes be very difficult to calm them down.
Imitating adults becomes the main way to learn various skills.
The baby’s desire for independence intensifies, because he already knows so many things! More and more often you can hear from him the phrase: “I do it myself!”, when once again you want to help him with something. Therefore, it is important to build the upbringing of a child aged 2-3 years on providing him with the opportunity to choose, encouraging initiative and physical activity.
Many children aged 2-3 years show a penchant for one or another type of activity: drawing, modeling from plasticine, assembling construction sets, role-playing games, etc. Of course, these cannot yet be called stable interests, but certain personality traits of the child can already appear during these activities.
The imagination is actively developing, the baby fantasizes. This is usually noticeable in his speech, acting, and drawings.
The range of expressed emotions expands significantly. A child can demonstrate joy, delight, surprise, affection, embarrassment, pity, disappointment, anger, fear, sympathy, etc.
After 2 years of age, interest in peers appears; the baby wants to communicate, play, and make friends with other children. At the same time, interaction with adults also remains significant for him.

Create conditions for exploring the world

The main thing in a boy’s development in the first years of life is to discover the world around him. Everything in his life is done for the first time: he grabs a rattle, throws a ball, drinks from a cup, gurgles water in the bath and repeats this again and again until the action becomes an integral part of his inner world.

The tireless researcher devotes every waking moment to studying himself and everything that comes into his field of vision. Nothing in the world surrounding a child can remain untouched, untried and undisclosed. This means that only those things that can be explored without threatening his health should be within the child’s reach.

No harsh words, explanations, or slapping hands will help protect a three-year-old child from the temptation to grab everything he sees in front of him. It's best to simply put breakable or dangerous objects away so he can't reach them until he's old enough to handle them carefully or understands that they can be admired but not touched.

His mission is to explore, and we are only obliged to provide him with the safest possible conditions for his research.

At the age of three, a child does not yet have the intention to commit an act with the aim of causing harm to any specific person or destroying any thing. Behind the apparent disobedience or “destructive” behavior of our sons, one can discern a thirst for knowledge, a desire to explore the world for oneself, and it is very important to see this real message of his actions.

For us adults, from the height of our experience, it is difficult to imagine how seductive and exciting the world around us can be and how attractive any new experience can be. The son is ready to stop literally at every step to touch the wall, pick a blade of grass, throw a pebble, grab a beetle and everything that comes in his way. He takes every opportunity to explore the world. What seems to us to be disobedience is often just a way of understanding the world and searching for our place in it.

Psychology of boys and girls at 2-3 years old: are there any differences?

At this age, children can distinguish between boys and girls by external signs: by clothing and behavior.

The differences appear at the level of trends. For example, it cannot be said that all girls develop speech faster than boys. But still, more often than not, girls master speech before boys.
Boys develop visual-spatial abilities faster.
In most cases, boys get used to the potty later.
Boys develop gross motor skills faster, girls develop fine motor skills.

Features of raising a teenage boy

Some parents strive to enroll their schoolchildren in as many clubs and sections as possible, citing his extraordinary abilities. In fact, you shouldn’t do this: if there is an excessive load, the child may completely lose interest in creativity and practical activities, his consciousness will quickly “get tired” of all this. Actually, he develops primarily for himself, and not for his parents, the public or anyone else, so he chooses the amount of time for any activity himself. He should have a lot of free time, only in this case he will be able to apply the acquired knowledge to benefit.

When raising a boy, you should abandon any stereotypes associated with the gender of the child. Thus, many believe that boys should not cry, because by doing this they supposedly “show their weakness.” In reality, boys can and should cry if they are overwhelmed with emotion. If you force children to suppress their emotions, then in the future it will be very difficult for them to cope with stress, and this entails serious psychological and even mental problems.

Crisis of 2-3 years: why does it occur and how to overcome it?

The emergence of a crisis is associated with several factors:

The child reaches a significant level of development and masters a large number of skills, which allows him to feel largely independent. Therefore, the baby resists any attempts by adults to limit his freedom and activity.
The child’s personality, his character, and awareness of his “I” are being formed. It is important for him to express his preferences, he strives to clearly define the position of “mine”, he is jealous of his things, toys, etc.

Characteristic features in a child’s behavior that indicate a crisis:

Stubbornness: the baby demands something and continues to insist on his own for a long time, following the original decision.
Resistance to requests, instructions, decisions of adults; protest.
The desire for independence.
Frequent whims and hysterics.
Manifestation of despotism.

How to overcome the crisis?

First of all, take it for granted that the child is in crisis and arm yourself with knowledge about child psychology and development during this period.
Ensure the principle: exercise maximum patience. When raising a child after 2 years, you will need even more.
Take your baby’s resistance and refusals as training to express your opinion. It just so happens that the child must first “work out” different techniques and methods of behavior with his parents and only then transfer them to society. If he is not given this opportunity, then in the future he may have problems adapting to society.
Do not try to “break” and harshly suppress the child’s protest and expression of anger. This will only increase the distance between you and undermine his trust in you. Try to “guide gently” and calmly defend your position.
Instead of “you can’t”, say more often how you should act and behave.
Don't yell or use physical punishment. If a child behaves aggressively, let him understand with the help of his facial expressions and intonation that you are unpleasant and he is doing something bad.
Allow him to act independently where possible. Be there, guide, support.

How to raise a boy to be a real man: advice from a psychologist

We should not forget that for a child the main example in life is his parents. Therefore, if they want the boy to turn into a real man, then they themselves must behave accordingly. For example, parents should not show weakness: they should not constantly whine about their problems, get irritated over every small issue, remain optimistic and calm even in the face of some problems.

If parents want their son to grow up brave, then they themselves should be brave and not be afraid of anything. The child perceives first of all a living example, and not stories, advice and demands. And if the parents’ wishes diverge from their actual behavior, then upbringing may be unsuccessful.

Tips for raising children at 2-3 years old

Objectives of raising and educating children:

favorably overcome the age crisis;
maintain a middle ground between prohibitions and excessive freedom of action;
develop creative abilities;
promote speech development;
help actively learn the norms and rules of behavior in society;
develop the emotional sphere, allow you to openly express your feelings;
instill responsiveness to people, friendliness;
encourage initiative and the desire to be independent.

How to raise a child after 2 years

The main example for a child is you. He observes your behavior, copies it, reflects your emotional state, and is sometimes in the same mood as you. Therefore, first you need to educate yourself, and only then - the child.
Praise your child for his skills and correct behavior.
Take all your child’s problems and fears seriously, even if it seems to you that they are “well, completely trivial.” For your baby, everything that worries him is important. Let him speak, listen carefully, be there and support him.
Play actively with your baby, give different characters characteristics. With the help of play, the child better learns how to behave.
Use fairy tales (including those you make up yourself) to more effectively influence a child: form the right attitudes, norms of behavior, and help cope with fears.
Be interested in your baby’s preferences: “What is your favorite color?”, “What do you like to play?”, “What animals do you like?”
Allow your child to express his feelings, name them to help him learn to understand them. For example: “You’re angry” or “The girl is crying, you feel sorry for her, right?”
While watching cartoons or reading books, comment on the behavior of the characters, discuss with your child which of them did well and which did poorly. Ask the baby how they feel, which one he likes.
Encourage your child to get to know other children: regularly go to playgrounds and visit others. Talk to your child about friendship and helping others. Usually a visit to a special children's center, where the child is at the same time with his mother and interacts with peers, has a good effect on development.
Actively involve your child in joint activities, give simple tasks, encourage his desire to help you.
Be flexible and try to see behind any disobedience and protest the true reasons for such behavior in order to gently correct it.
Always use affection and words to let your child understand that you love him, no matter how he behaves.

No matter how difficult and responsible it may seem to raise a child at 2-3 years old, this process is, at the same time, interesting and conducive to the development of the parents themselves. Love for your baby and the ability to choose the right behavior towards him will create the basis for transformation from a rebel into your assistant and an independent initiative person.