A guy talks to other girls: reasons and how to avoid it

Why do men communicate with other women?

There are a huge number of people in the world, and about half of them are representatives of the fair sex. It is impossible to isolate your man from communicating with them: you won’t be able to put him on a chain and control every woman’s glance towards her husband. Therefore, do not cause unnecessary panic; not all reasons for guys communicating with women are so suspicious. We asked men for their unbiased opinions and found out why they can communicate with girls:

Business relationship. Of course, there are purely male groups, but this is such a rarity these days that they are not even worth mentioning. Even miners have female colleagues, for example, timekeepers, cleaners, storekeepers. You often have to communicate with girls at work as part of your job, sometimes you just have no one else to talk to, and you really want to relieve stress and chat during a busy work day.
Common topics with distant friends. We all remember with a smile our youth, when we walked all night long in the company of friends. My school and student years were carefree and filled with pleasant impressions. Everyone then communicated on equal terms - both boys and girls, because they knew each other very well. Men do not grow up for a long time, and communication with old friends helps them in this. Some of them may be girls. It is quite normal if a guy corresponds with other girls who studied with him in the same class, group, or simply know him from childhood.
The desire to assert oneself at the expense of other girls. It happens that a woman pays little attention to her man or treats him completely disrespectfully, constantly teasing him, and does not see his merits. In this case, the guy has no choice but to flirt with other ladies in order to fill the gaps in his relationship with his current girlfriend. A man tries to assert himself at the expense of other women, when his own does not give him the opportunity to feel needed and loved.
Lack of common interests with the girl. When there is nothing to talk about, nowhere to go together and no one makes an attempt to solve this problem, then everything in the relationship leads to communication on the side. Men need not only sex, but conversations, support, attention to his hobbies and discussion of them. If a girl cannot give all this emotional intimacy, then sooner or later she will find out that the guy is communicating with another. Why not chat with a man instead of looking for someone of the fair sex? Yes, because you want gentle attention and feminine warmth, and not dry discussions and laughter accompanied by liters of beer.
Looking for a relationship on the side. One of the most unfavorable reasons for a guy to start communicating with someone else is his desire to find a mistress. Many men do not dare to end a relationship until they find a replacement for their current partner. And others generally want to lead a double life and date two or three girls at once. In any case, the second half of the scoundrel may not expect anything good. Such actions completely characterize a man as an unreliable traitor.

Now you know how many reasons there are for your boyfriend to start communicating with another lady. Not all of them should alarm you, but you shouldn’t relax completely either. Try to behave in such a way that a man would like to be with you always and not look for a replacement.

How to start communicating with a girl

The beginning of communication with a girl should include ease and ease. If you are not confident in yourself, you are embarrassed, then some object that will distract the girl from your person and focus her attention on him is suitable to start a conversation. This subject could be a book, a telephone, a dog on a leash, etc. If there are no objects, then you can touch on eternal topics: music, literature, sports, work, study, philosophical issues. The main thing to remember is that the beginning of communication with a girl should not develop into an interrogation.

Topics for communicating with a girl, as well as frequently asked questions:

music (What music do you like? What music do you not like? Why?)

literature (What do you like to read? What do you not like to read? Which character do you like? Why?)

sports (Are you interested in sports? Who do you root for?)

leisure (Favorite places to visit in the city?)

animals (Attitude towards pets?)

We develop the topic of work or study, as well as philosophical questions, at the request of the young lady.

The experience of guys communicating with girls shows that the conversation should be lively and also relaxed. To do this, we advise you to first tell something about yourself, about your interests, passions, and then ask the young lady’s attitude towards the same. If you plan to communicate with this particular girl in the future, then try to teach her something new that she does not yet know, or go together to where you spend your leisure time. In general, show your imagination, figure out what you can do to interest a girl, what would be interesting for her to know and learn. You can ask both about reality and about fantasies, thoughts, dreams. This way you will arouse the girl’s interest, because it’s not every day that people are interested in her dreams. If there is a pause or awkward silence during the conversation, then switch your attention to another topic.

How to continue communication with a girl? So, the beginning of communication with the girl took place and you made a good impression. Don't stop and try to continue the conversation. Make the conversation pleasant, light, and friendly. The problem for many guys is that they do not know how to communicate correctly with girls. Correct communication includes the ability to correctly construct sentences, feel confident, be positive with a moderate sense of humor. If a guy is unable to put two words together, then you shouldn’t count on continuing the relationship. Girls don't like boring, insecure guys with a low vocabulary. This does not mean that you should act like a clown in front of the girl, but you must interest her in order to continue the relationship.

Problems with communicating with girls will not be overcome by the ability to dress and good appearance. The ability to communicate is the main component in the relationship between a man and a woman. Proper communication with a girl includes knowledge of the psychology of communication with the female sex.

Let's talk about the context of communication

Have you witnessed a guy talking to other girls and now you don’t know what to do? First of all, you need to calm down and think carefully about what exactly their communication entails. The context of correspondence or conversations can be completely different. So, you should not worry if your man’s communication with the opposite sex consists of:

from business conversations;
discussions about buying and selling something;
abstract innocent topics about hobbies;
memories of school and student years.

And, conversely, you should be wary when, in the context of correspondence or in an overheard conversation, you notice:

flirting and intimate hints;
compliments about appearance and character;
proposals for a date;
explicit virtual sex;
discussing you in a negative way.

Some girls don't know how to understand that a guy is communicating with another. If you don’t notice anything suspicious, the young man spends a lot of time with you and doesn’t run into the shower with his phone before your eyes when he receives a call from an unfamiliar number, then you can rest easy. Don’t invent something that doesn’t exist, but don’t turn a blind eye to the obvious problem. Many men are amorous and flighty and do not like to solve problems in relationships, preferring to find a new accommodating woman. If it bothers you that a guy is talking to someone else, you need to know what to do.

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The hardest stage is getting to know each other. Not only do you have to fight fear, but you also need to somehow intrigue and surprise your interlocutor. The ability to talk with representatives of the fair sex will help any man not only in searching for a soul mate, but also in business, in the business sphere. You need to be able to surprise and make a good first impression.

Helpful tips for those starting with the basics

It is important to start with some dogmas, as well as important rules that must be strictly followed.

Failure is not losing . These are not the words of women, but of psychologists. Interpersonal relationship experts say that negative experiences are a great way to become wiser and develop your skills. The more failures you have in your life, the lower the likelihood that you will be unlucky next time. You can't give up. You need to try to get acquainted and look for the lady of your heart.

It's not what you say, but how you say it that matters. Women say that they love with their ears, but it is important to understand some important aspects. Of course, you can’t be rude to a lady, but you can talk about any abstract topics without making direct compliments and without focusing on sympathy and so on. Psychologists note that the fair sex often does not hear what a man says - they look at the manner and presentation of information.

It's important to be brave . Women adore brave men. And we are not talking about fights or fast driving, financial risks and so on. Women are waiting for the banal courage to come up and talk about their feelings. According to surveys, this makes a lasting impression on more than 80% of women.

Subtleties of communication with ladies

Many people watch various training videos and try to find unusual ways to make a tackle, but the fair sex unanimously say that this does not always work and does not work for everyone. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. Women love it when a man is short and sincere . The best impressions are made by those who simply come up and say, “I like you.” Everything is simple and clear.

Honesty makes a very big impression on a woman . “I want to invite you on a date”, “I want to take your number so that I can invite you on a date”, “I want to get to know you, is that okay?” The most hackneyed and annoying phrase: “Girl, can I meet you?” It must be forgotten, because at the very beginning you should not ask permission, but express intention.

Smile . You definitely need to smile, but not like the Joker from the Batman movie, but with restraint. A smile relaxes a woman. The ladies themselves say that a man should evoke a feeling of reliability and trust, and trust in the first seconds of communication is the basis of success. You don’t need to be a genius—you just need to put yourself in the person’s place. No one wants to communicate with a gloomy or sad man.

Sight. You must make eye contact. Scientists conducted a huge number of tests, during which they were able to find out that a friendly face with a pleasant smile, supported by a direct look into the eyes, disarms a woman. Women note that this makes them perceive a man positively. This method only works when combined with a smile.

Appearance. Of course, girls immediately evaluate a man’s appearance. More precisely, his neatness. It is important to look not expensive, but clean. This is especially true for shoes. A person instinctively pays attention to shoes. The girls themselves say that it is extremely rare for an unkempt man to receive positive feedback.

Posture . Your posture should be straight. No need to slouch. Girls love men who look confident. Posture will help direct the lady’s perception in the right direction. It is not at all necessary to be a jock or two meters tall.

Voice. Don't speak loudly. You need to speak slowly, calmly, and with enough volume for the girl to hear you.

Humor . Most ladies around the world value their sense of humor even higher than muscles and beauty. As the saying goes: “The one who makes her laugh first is the one who gets it.” There is some truth in this, so learn to joke unobtrusively, but do not focus on this when meeting someone, so that it does not look like your personal stand-up.

Here's what girls around the world say is the most attractive thing about a man they talk to for the first time:

This is the main focus. Whatever the outcome, it is important to remember that the secret to perfection is practice. This is the only way to learn how to communicate with girls.

There are interesting statistics on what kind of appearance attracts women the most. Even if you don't fit into the ideal, there's nothing wrong with that. It is important to believe in yourself and not stop.

Our Yandex.Zen channel always has the most interesting articles on this topic. Be sure to subscribe!

21.04.2019 05:33

What to do?

The easiest way is to make a scandal, get offended and complain to your girlfriends. Only such actions will not help solve the problem, and perhaps even worsen it. A wise woman will behave completely differently: she will calmly and systematically move towards her goal and will certainly achieve it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know where to start and how to close this pressing issue forever. We have developed a detailed action plan for you. So, what to do if a guy is texting or otherwise communicating with other girls:

Rethink your relationship. Did the man's action offend you too much? Was his communication with the other person within the normal range or completely beyond the bounds of reason? You should think carefully about what you want to achieve: maintaining the relationship or breaking it off. In the first case, you will have to do a fair amount of work on yourself, and in the second, you will have to worry about the pain of loss. Give yourself time and think about your union: is it worth doing something and is there something to try for?
Talk to the guy. If you find out that a guy is communicating with someone else, first of all you should find out from him the reason for this incident. Talk to him and there is a high chance that he will clear your doubts. Watch his reaction carefully: if his eyes wander or the guy starts to giggle and make stupid excuses, perhaps he is lying or wants to hide his sins from you. A frank dialogue will help clarify the situation and draw certain conclusions.
Contact a psychologist. There is nothing irreparable, especially if a psychologist comes to the aid of your couple. It doesn't matter if it was a friendly exchange or a man slipped up and decided to flirt with someone else, a relationship specialist will help you realize your mistakes and chart the right course. By the way, if a guy communicates with other girls on the Internet, but agreed without much persuasion to go to a psychologist, then he is unlikely to have any intentions of breaking up with you or having a mistress. Be sure to praise your chosen one for his willingness to change for your sake and solve problems with a specialist.
Spend more time together. Pleasant leisure time together can work wonders. Have romantic evenings, go to the cinema, to nature, to museums, in general, share interesting and joyful moments together. Thus, the man simply will not have time to talk with other ladies, and you and your gentleman will become even closer than you were before. Don’t skimp on pleasant little things: give gifts, write pleasant messages. You won’t even notice how your partner will begin to give you twice as much tenderness and affection, forgetting about his interlocutors.
Don't control a man. Many girls don’t know what to do if their boyfriend is texting someone else, and the only solution is constant surveillance and checking of gadgets. In fact, such behavior will not help you in any way, but will only make the situation worse. Men are very offended when they are not trusted, even though they give reason to suspect themselves of infidelity. Therefore, you should not read personal correspondence and watch calls on your loved one’s phone. Believe me, if a guy wants you not to find out who he is communicating with, he will constantly destroy evidence, and you will still achieve nothing.
Don't take revenge if it ends in a breakup. Relationships cannot always be saved. Communication with another girl can develop into something more for a man, and he decides to break up with his current lady. We sympathize if your situation turned out this way. It's sad when there is no opportunity to overcome difficulties and find personal happiness with someone you care about. Try to survive this grief with minimal losses and give up revenge. It will not bring relief, and after a while your conscience will completely torment you. Wish your failed partner happiness and meet yours halfway.

It's hard to act correctly when negative emotions are overwhelming. Try to pull yourself together and soberly assess the situation, and then talk to the guy and make attempts to resolve the problem.

How to stop outside communication?

Psychologists have long noticed that any flirting begins against the background of unclear relationships, everyday problems or any conflicts. That is why, if you are bothered by the fact that a guy communicates with other girls, reconsider your relationship. You can stop communication that is unpleasant for you. First you need to calm down and analyze everything carefully. Think about whether you are paying enough attention to your partner. The next step is to find common interests and topics: start playing sports together, watch TV shows that you both like and discuss them. Change your dull everyday life, surprise your loved one: you can arrange a romantic dinner, invite him to admire the stars, show off beautiful lingerie. You can try to explain to the guy that these correspondences and calls bring you pain and suffering. Hint that in this way he can lose your trust.