How to stop being nervous and become calm: 7 quick lessons on how to stop worrying

The rhythm of life of a modern person in the mode of incessant time pressure forces the nervous system to endure serious overloads.

Stress has become a constant companion for residents of big cities, and neuroses have become a common diagnosis.

The pharmaceutical industry comes to the rescue with a wide range of sedative pills, oriental practitioners who insist on meditation, etc.

Knowing how to calm down and stop being nervous, you can learn to manage your psychological state without outside help.

The nature of nervousness. Necessary defense mechanism or hindrance?

Nervousness, or a state of increased nervous tension, manifests itself in physiological and mental reactions.


Stress has become a constant companion for residents of big cities.

The physiological response to stress is the release of adrenaline, which leads to increased blood pressure, increased heart rate and respiration, which in turn helps the body mobilize resources for quick and active action.

It is no coincidence that nature has endowed humans with such a response mechanism, because the main cause of stress for our ancestors were situations that really threatened life.

The active work of all vital systems helped ancient people avoid death.

Modern man is much less likely to be exposed to mortal danger. The stress reaction is no longer a necessary protective mechanism, but only interferes with the person.

The emotional and mental component of stress comes to the fore.

A person in a state of increased nervous excitability:

  • loses concentration and is unable to concentrate;
  • has poor control over his behavior;
  • gets tired faster;
  • susceptible to diseases of the cardiovascular system;
  • vulnerable to the development of addictions: alcohol, nicotine, drugs, food;
  • demonstrates a general decrease in performance.

How to find peace within yourself?

Finding peace is a process of working at the level of mind and perception, as well as the correct setting of paradigms and worldview.

So, peace can be achieved by:

  • curbing the mind
  • control of feelings and emotions
  • getting rid of attachments
  • activities corresponding to the psychophysical nature
  • acquiring knowledge
  • spiritual practice

Restraining the mind and controlling feelings and emotions can be achieved through meditation , purification and a correct understanding of life .

As long as we are constantly worried about future days or are in memories of the past, we will always be in different forms of anxiety . Fear of the future, as well as immersion in memories, makes consciousness inert, which means that a person is not able to change his present. Without the strength to change anything, one can only seek solace not in work, which would lead to an improvement in the situation, but in entertainment and the use of various substances. Therefore, the first step in finding peace is to gain a firm conviction that the present is the only time in which it is worth living. We should act with a strategic perspective on the future, but until we return to the present, nothing good should be expected from the future.

Our present is the result of our past, and the future is the result of our present. This understanding will enable us to act correctly while in the present moment. And the realization that our future depends only on us and how we act in the present gives us the opportunity to act correctly and consistently, instead of anxious waiting, chaotic actions or fear of the future. An unoccupied mind is a source of restlessness , just as the activities of our body do not stop for a second, so the mind does not stop for a single moment. If you do not engage it in activity, it will provoke anxiety. Behind worries will come the need to get rid of them, finding peace in entertainment, which deprives one of the ability to act, depleting a person’s strength.

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Meditation is a simple exercise, the essence of which is to consciously suppress the fluctuations of the mind. Mind fluctuations are single movements of the mind that lead to desires and fears. In fact, it is a thought that comes out of nowhere. Meditation calms the mind, makes it more stable and calm, which affects both health and well-being, and also gives a stable state of peace.

Purification consists of getting rid of various mental impurities. Basically, by this we mean a combination of negative communication, pastime that leads to worries and anxieties, as well as rejection of what provokes anger, greed, laziness and other vicious impulses. Pure consciousness self-evidently has no reason and is in restlessness, while clouded consciousness is associated precisely with anxiety or a state of intoxication. In any case, for a polluted mind, worry is a natural state in which it still suffers. You should get rid of those things that in themselves bring anxiety - watching the news, commenting on various events and reading such comments. Since, for the most part, immersion in such an information flow only causes stress for the psyche, and not the ability to really change something.

Getting rid of attachment does not mean that we should destroy our relationships, but only give up the perception of objects of attachment as the only source of pleasure or suffering. By imagining the renunciation of attachment, you can very easily understand whether there is love in relation to a person, idea or some thing - imagine that it does not bring you pleasure. For example, the most powerful argument in a relationship for men is sex. It is enough for a man to imagine that he is no longer capable of sexual relations with his soul mate. For some, this thought sends a chill down their spine, because sex is what most relationships are built on, and if you take it away, what’s left? Pleasures lead to suffering , and giving up such pleasures leads to the opportunity to draw happiness and peace from within oneself. In giving up attachments, it is important not to be fanatical, you should not change your attitude towards a person or leave, it is enough to simply give up the conscious and unconscious desire to enjoy him, instead you should try to make the other person happy. This will free your mind and improve your relationships. Often a person gets his greatest happiness when he gives it up.

Engaging in suitable activities in which one can immerse oneself should become a source of peace for one whose nature corresponds to his activity . From this combination arise the best feelings such as a sense of self-realization, a sense of mission accomplishment, absorption, inspiration, enthusiasm, satisfaction with work and life. A person who has found his place in life will live in peace and experience happiness not so much from the fruits of labor, but from the process itself. And such happiness is much stronger than pleasure. To find your destiny, it is enough to know your nature and find the point of application of labor to this nature.

Gaining knowledge is also one of the methods of finding peace. Realizing life, its laws, the manifestation of the will of the Universe, it becomes obvious to us that all our adversities are temporary and we are really capable of changing them for the better. To do this, you just need to act correctly. The knowledge that after the death of one body a new life awaits us eliminates the fear of death, and the difference between spiritual and material nature eliminates many, many worries if we realize our identity with the spiritual nature . Gaining philosophical knowledge leads to peace because we cannot be afraid of what we know. If we know life, our destiny, ourselves, then we have nothing to fear.

The last method is the most labor-intensive, but at the same time it is the only method that can give peace independent of external circumstances. This is a spiritual path .

The spiritual path is about gaining knowledge about one's spiritual nature, as well as seeking the Absolute Truth and properly interacting with it. Knowledge of the spiritual path is a whole science, but the first step is to realize oneself as an eternal and immortal soul. Achieving such knowledge leads to absolute disidentification of oneself with material objects, which deprives one of the possibility of experiencing anxiety, since anxiety arises precisely in the process of perception by the material senses. To succeed on the spiritual path, it is necessary to acquire spiritual knowledge and engage in spiritual practice. All this is done under the guidance of a spiritual teacher. In this way the level of spiritual consciousness is achieved.

It is important to understand that following any method of achieving peace cannot bring peace in just a few steps. A state of peace is the normal state of a person who lives a right life and whose mind is clear, but worry and anxiety are a symptom of delusion. Thus, mental healing very rarely happens overnight and effort and consistency should be made to find peace. The process of seeking and finding peace must be constant and continuous, just as treatment is continuous.

Success on this path manifests itself as an increase in peace and quiet, as well as a decrease in all worries. However, even if you have found peace as a result of the right lifestyle, the right activities, you can lose it if you give up all this. So don’t look for any quick pill that will once and for all get rid of one of the main sources of suffering – anxiety. Common logic suggests that such a panacea simply does not exist. Yes, the spiritual path can eliminate worries forever if you reach the level of spiritual consciousness, but this is far from a quick or easy process. Therefore, it is worth taking seriously to find peace, especially since such work will be justified in any case, since it will provide valuable experience and clear the mind.

When do we get nervous?

The emotional and mental component of stress comes to the fore.
The main reason for anxiety and excitement in everyday life (not acute stress) are situations of increased responsibility, when we are afraid to fail, to look not the best in the eyes of others.

Circumstances that threaten our ego are the most common source of stress. This could be public speaking, meetings with a significant person, negotiations, important assignments, troubles at work, etc.

Causes of nervousness

Nervousness has two groups of causes:

  • Physiological. From a physiological point of view, nervous excitement can be caused by endocrine disorders, diseases of the gastrointestinal tract, lack of vitamins, mental disorders (dementia, post-traumatic encephalopathy, etc.).
  • Psychological. A neurotic state is associated with certain personal characteristics and ways of perceiving reality, i.e. has a psychological nature. In this case, correcting perceptions and turning to a positive way of thinking will help reduce nervous tension.

Folk remedies

Most of the medicinal drugs with sedative effects are made on the basis of herbal components. Therefore, using folk remedies, in particular, using herbal infusions and decoctions, you can quickly calm the nervous system, relieve tension, and normalize sleep without medications. By drinking herbal tea (from lemon balm, peppermint, St. John's wort, valerian, etc.), you can also get rid of anxiety and fear. Such drinks are very beneficial for sleep.

How to stop being nervous about anything?

The main assistant and also the main enemy of the emotional system is perception. His psychological well-being depends on the attitude with which a person approaches every event in life.

The author of the best-selling book “The Subconscious Mind Can Do Anything,” John Kehoe, expressed an important thought: “There are no problems, there are opportunities.”

Such a life credo, when any life difficulties and seemingly insurmountable obstacles become a source of personal growth and vitality, significantly reduces the degree of excitement and increases the proportion of positive emotions.

The first step towards correcting the psychological state will be a change in perception.

To change your attitude towards certain moments, you need to evaluate their importance and significance within the context of your entire life.

The first step towards correcting the psychological state will be a change in perception

Against the background of the entire life trajectory, an exam, even the most serious and responsible one, will seem insignificant; the significance of work on a life-long scale will also decrease significantly and cease to excite with such force.

However, reasonable arguments cannot always affect the emotional state and eliminate the experience , so it is necessary to arm yourself with a number of techniques that will help you calm down before a stressful event and relieve tension after it.

Set yourself up only for the positive

Emotional eating is often accompanied by self-criticism, and the inner voice constantly tells you what a failed person you are. For example, phrases keep spinning in my head: “What a loser I am... I never do anything right! When will I finally learn how to deal with disappointment?” All this sends you straight to search for food, and you don’t resist at all, you eat your grief with food. Even though these thoughts are fleeting, they are like acid rain that floods your well-being and gradually undermines it. The next time your inner voice sounds like this, turn your attention to someone else, for example, to the one who is standing next to you at that moment. This may not seem like much help, but try it. You will see that this can help stop negative thoughts in your head and you will feel how much better you will feel.

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Preparation. How to calm down before a big event

On the eve of an important event, you need to relax and take your mind off negative thoughts and fear..

For these purposes, devote the day before a significant event to any activity that forces you to fully engage in the process: you can read a book, watch a movie, play computer games.

For some, physical activity is a good way to combat anxiety: it is better if it is dynamic exercise that will cause a surge of endorphins in the blood.

Immediately before a significant event, you can do breathing exercises that will relax the body .

Immediately before a significant event, you can do breathing exercises that will relax your body.

Simple breathing exercises

How to do breathing exercises:

  1. Inhale air through your nose for 4 seconds.
  2. Hold your breath for 2 counts.
  3. Exhale through your mouth, counting to four.
  4. Hold your breath for 2 counts.

Repeating the cycle for 4 counts takes about 5 minutes, but after 3 minutes you can feel relief. When performing actions, carefully monitor your feelings.

Fill your body with something healthy

There are many different ways you can shake up your body, so to speak, and get thoughts of food out of your head. Here are some useful tips: pick up a piece of ice and feel how it melts between your fingers; take a bite of lemon, lime or grapefruit; put your hand under cold or hot water; press one heel firmly into the floor; sit in a chair, clasp your hands tightly or brace yourself. You will definitely feel relief.

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How to avoid being nervous during an important meeting

An attitude towards a positive result works wonders.
When an important event has already arrived, you need to force your body to activate and mobilize resources. Extra nerves won't help here at all.

Therefore, during an important meeting, you can practice a number of techniques.

  1. Listen to your feelings and find the place where negative manifestations of anxiety are concentrated. This may be tremors of the limbs, a lump in the throat or difficulty breathing, muscle tension. Now imagine your fear in the form of a small insect that crawls over your body and mentally shake it off.
  2. Muscles are very tense during stress, and this interferes with normal thinking. To remove the clamps, you need to tense your muscles even more, and then relax. Alternating load on muscle groups, alternating with their relaxation, will give a good effect.
  3. Showing confidence helps reduce tension. In this case, the feedback effect is triggered: calm and relaxed facial expressions will lead to internal calm (remember the effect of an artificial smile, which sends a signal to the brain that you feel good and it responds with a real increase in mood).
  4. An attitude towards a positive result works wonders: belief in success and your own strength reduces stress levels and helps you relax.

Anticipate the problem

It is always easier to take preventative measures, while stopping to push yourself when the process has already begun is difficult. Against the general background of failures, any trifle seems significant.

Monitor your nervous system. Enter the following into your routine:

  • Regular rest. A tired person is an angry person. Allow yourself to do what you enjoy for at least 15 minutes every day.
  • Down with tension. Take a bath with aroma oil, drink mint tea, ask your neighbor to give you a little massage.
  • Focus of attention. Make it a habit to do something different when bad thoughts pop up in your mind. For example, to stop racing, start doing 10 squats or push-ups. This will be good for the body and brain: muscles will become stronger, endorphins will lift your spirits.
  • Mark of joy. Draw something on your hand in a visible place, get a tattoo, buy jewelry. Set yourself the mindset to stop worrying about trifles when you look at your mark.
  • Mindfulness. Praise yourself when you succeed. Don't scold, but notice if something didn't work out.
  • Just a man. Allow yourself to be imperfect. We are all like this, understand and accept it.
  • Re-read information that is useful and inspiring to you from time to time. Work on yourself. You can do it.

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    Calming down after the meeting

    When all the worst is over and fears and worries are in the past, it is important to bring all feelings into a balanced state and relieve post-stress tension.

    To remove the clamps, you need to tense your muscles even more, and then relax

    First of all, you shouldn’t get hung up on what happened and scroll through all the nuances of an event that has already taken place in your head.

    You can analyze your behavior later, when your emotions have subsided and you can soberly evaluate all your mistakes. Now it’s better to change your focus and focus on something not related to work.

    Do not keep in yourself the emotions that have accumulated during the preparation for the meeting and during it, give vent to your feelings.

    If the body is in a state of increased activity after the fact and cannot relax, any sporting activity will help, especially boxing and running. They will give an outlet to the accumulated adrenaline.

    It is better to relieve the opposite state of loss of strength and fatigue after an important event with a hot bath, sleep, tea with loved ones and other relaxing procedures suitable for you.

    Stillness of the soul

    7. Develop a strong moral compass. Our past certainly shapes us, but it does not define us. If you grew up surrounded by chaos, deceit, anger, or abandonment, take some time to examine your beliefs and ask yourself whether they align with the values ​​you want to hold. For example, someone with passive-aggressive communication skills may not recognize them as harmful. Take the time to teach yourself healthy, direct communication to break habits and build new ones.

    8. Stay away from envy, jealousy and harmful desires. Besides being unhelpful, these feelings can disrupt our ability to focus on what's truly important. If you are focused on someone else's life, who will focus on yours?

    9. Make peace with the painful wounds of your childhood. Everyone has baggage. This is human nature. To be a victim is to surrender to the wounds of our childhood and say, “Well, this is how it is. I can't come to terms with this." You have the power to work through and heal these wounds. If you can’t handle it yourself, you can always turn to a professional.

    10. Practice gratitude. No matter your life situation, there is always something to be grateful for. Wake up and write down in a notebook what you can thank yourself, your loved ones, fate, God for. Write specific things. Think about the little things like hot coffee and the warmth your pet gives you.

    11. Develop relationships. You probably have a lot of friends and social events, but when was the last time you worked on deepening those relationships? A couple of drinks at the bar and a cup of coffee before work are not deepening the relationship. Start a book club. Ask deeper questions instead of “How are you doing at work?” or “What’s wrong with you?”

    12. Give control to something greater than yourself. We are not talking about religious education, although this is not excluded. It's about giving up control over something you can't control anyway. You can't control losing your job or your partner wanting to end the relationship. It doesn't depend on you and it doesn't mean you lost. When you truly accept this fact, you can breathe easier. And then you can focus on what in your life you really can control.

    13. Understand that there will never be “enough” and that the uncontrolled desire for more only ends in bankruptcy. We live in a “more” culture. Social media and the comparison factor amplifies this feeling. When you feel the urge to fill your feelings of not enough with “stuff,” remind yourself that happiness and contentment are something that comes from within. Wait a week and then decide if you really need this item.

    How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop being nervous over trifles

    To achieve long-term results, the right solution would be to strengthen the nervous system.

    The following will help increase mental resistance to stressful events:

    • Regular meditation calms the nerves and brings the mind into a state of balance.
    • Sports and other healthy procedures: walks, contrast showers, proper nutrition.
    • Breathing exercises.
    • Mindfulness practice: learn to control your thoughts so that at the right moment you can quickly switch from negative to constructive. To do this, focus on your breathing: your concentration will last for about 5 seconds, after which your thought will jump to extraneous events. Bring her back to breathing. Do this for a few minutes. Gradually, the time when you think only about your breathing and are not distracted by other things will increase.
    • Rejection of bad habits.

    “Cleanse” your internal organs

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    Many people know that it is very useful to take a deep breath when we are worried and nervous, but this is completely different. Here's a fun creative trick for you. Take a deep breath and imagine a squeegee (yes, the kind you use to clean your windshield or window) somewhere near your head. Exhale slowly and imagine that she is wiping away your internal organs along with all your worries. Imagine this procedure very clearly, “cleanse” yourself from head to toe. Repeat three times. And all thoughts about food will disappear by themselves.

    Calming techniques for pregnant women

    Hormonal changes during pregnancy and a new unusual state make women emotionally unstable: they become touchy, whiny, often irritated over trifles, and experience unmotivated anxiety.

    The expectant mother needs to work on her psychological mood, which affects not only her health, but also the well-being of the unborn child.

    In order not to harm the baby, try to isolate yourself from all circumstances that can unbalance and worsen your mood.

    Avoid watching news, horror films and aggressive programs. Focus your attention on the child and caring for him.

    The following will help reduce the load on the nervous system:

    • foot massage;
    • herbal infusions;
    • taking vitamins and microelements, especially magnesium (you should consult your doctor);
    • relaxing, pleasant music, you can choose special meditative melodies;
    • drawing and coloring;
    • knitting and other types of needlework.

    Helpful Tips for Those Suffering from Emotional Eating

    You wouldn't overeat if you felt emotionally healthy. The good news is that there are other activities and strategies that will keep you healthy and won't lead to weight gain, regrets, or guilt. You can find dozens of useful books with lots of practical strategies for combating emotional eating. Don’t be lazy, find one of the books and read it at your leisure. Believe me, this will definitely help you. The main thing is to always believe in the best and never stop halfway.

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