How to learn not to get nervous over trifles

Every person finds himself in stressful situations, and it is simply impossible to protect yourself from them in the modern world, unless you go far into the outback and live without signs of civilization. But this will also be stressful for the body; it will be necessary to rebuild itself to new conditions of existence.

So, what to do when it is impossible to avoid an unpleasant situation, but it is so necessary to avoid excessive overexcitation and nervousness. I really don’t want to feel “broken” when, due to wasted emotions, I no longer have the strength to do household chores, family matters, etc.

Why does anxiety occur and how to calm it?

People begin to get nervous only through their own fault, starting to “increase” the excessive importance of certain events. Finding external and internal calm, stopping being irritated is a huge amount of work on yourself that is constantly underway.

It will not be possible to achieve results in this matter at lightning speed. But there are some quick-acting methods and techniques that can help you learn to quickly calm down and not get irritated in stressful situations. But more on that below.

What is anxiety and how does it manifest itself? First of all, this is a general set of negative physiological processes (a person begins to freak out, choke, lose consciousness, sweat).

It is also necessary to understand that the feeling of anxiety is a vain and useless experience that interferes with a full life and is not a normal human state. When people begin to get irritated and nervous, they simply cannot hold life in their hands, they lose control over it, and therefore:

• A person tries to calm down using easily accessible methods that often only bring harm: cigarettes, alcohol, sedatives or tonic medications.
• The direction in life is lost. It turns out to be impossible to achieve a goal, because the fear of failure weakens and suppresses.
• A person cannot control his behavior. Gestures, facial expressions, intonation, voice - all this leads to social collapse (failures on dates, breakdown of negotiations).
• The stress to which the body is exposed at this time leads to constant fatigue. Exhaustion and, as a result, illness.
• The performance of the brain decreases. The body spends all its resources on nervousness and worry, concentration falls, and performing necessary work or other tasks becomes ineffective.

To understand how not to be nervous and calm down, you need to determine why you, in principle, can no longer maintain control over your life? Why are you so tense all the time, what exactly irritates you, makes you nervous and worried?

Become your own best friend

No matter how strange it may sound, the aggressor always understands where the victim is. On a subconscious level, people read with whom and how they can behave. Remember your surroundings: there are probably people whom you can endlessly make fun of and they will not be able to fight back, and vice versa, there are individuals towards whom no one makes a sarcastic comment. To do this, you don’t have to be a top category boxer: it’s enough to work on your self-confidence and not allow someone to take a dominant position next to you.

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Understand: the person next to you is no better and no worse. He has no right to dictate to you who you are, how you live, dress, where to walk, with whom to communicate. Even if this person is your parent or supervisor. Often it is management people who transfer the dictatorial position from the professional sphere to personal relationships.

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It's all about needs

In terms of scientific psychology, in order to stop getting irritated and freaking out over trifles that gradually develop into big problems, you need to identify in which area the cause of your irritation is located. There are six of these areas in total, each of which can be a good reason for disturbing a person's peace when he is overly fixated:

1. Craving for pleasure . Excessive love of pleasure makes people irritable and lazy when it comes to responsibilities and affairs. And a person will not find harmony, will not calm down until his need for entertainment and pleasure is satisfied.
2. Egocentrism . At the heart of this need is the need for recognition, approval, if we consider the extreme - admiration, adoration. It is on the verge of this extreme that people become very sensitive to criticism in their direction, this makes them irritated and nervous, leading to anxiety. For example, the dissatisfaction of a waitress in a restaurant who is disdainfully rude while serving, or the disapproving look of a complete stranger.
3. Excessive independence . A person who comes to the conclusion that he cannot fit into any framework, one way or another begins to feel minor irritations that develop into neuroses. They can be caused by institutional schedules, normal work schedules, etc.
4. Attraction to perfectionism . People forget that, in principle, perfection is unattainable. And they begin to get nervous for any reason: they become unfair to loved ones, themselves, subordinates or colleagues, and therefore they feel stressed all the time and cannot control themselves.
5. Excessive need for emotional intimacy . These people tend to turn all relationships into overly warm ones, even at work. These people cannot realize that many prefer to keep communication with colleagues or business partners at the level of office etiquette.
6. Great love for speed . In this case, we mean a constant race to try to be on time everywhere. Often the extreme is the inability to understand that work needs to be done gradually, and not in two days without sleep. Failure to complete a goal in one go can lead to extreme irritation and anxiety. And in this case, you will increasingly be tormented by the question of how not to be nervous at work.

Knowing the root cause of anxiety and irritability, you can find a way to calm down. And in general, how can you stop getting nervous over trifles, since in the end this can lead to significant problems with mental and physical health.

The problem is not you

First you need to understand: people show aggression and broadcast negative attitudes towards others when they do not feel happy. The life of negative people consists of continuous frustration, unsatisfied desires, constant worries, fears and concerns. This provokes people to be rude to others, behave coldly, and show aggression. Such people don’t care on whom to project rigidity and weakness, so don’t blame yourself for someone’s bad mood and inability to improve their life.

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What other reasons could there be?

The above needs, as a rule, are part of such a basic area of ​​​​a person’s life as work. However, certain of them, such as the need for perfection and egocentrism, often extend beyond the work environment.

There can be a large number of reasons and reasons for fear, anxiety and irritation. There are more than 300 varieties of phobias alone. However, the most important fear that makes a person worry and get nervous every day is the fear of failure or error. People worry that they have wasted their time and energy and that they will look stupid.

Confessing to yourself can help you calm down and stop being nervous: “I’m starting to choke from anxiety, depend on fear, I’m nervous!” This will be the right step towards acquiring inner peace and harmony.

How to determine the absence of boundaries

Most likely, you need to work in this direction if you:

• communicate with people who do not respect you;
• those around you use you only for their own purposes and remember when you need something;
• your opinion is devalued: you’re stupid, what nonsense, how did this come into your head;
• you justify the unworthy behavior of your interlocutor, you believe in your own legends: the boss can insult me, the girl yelled at me because she was tired;
• depend on other people's opinions and assessments;
• you don’t know how to say “no”;
• afraid to hear and express yourself;

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Tips on how not to get nervous over trifles

So how can you learn not to be afraid of making mistakes and not to be nervous? How to find harmony with the world around you, yourself and find peace?

There are many complex methods that have been practiced for years by psychotherapists and psychologists. Based on them, you can determine the basic tips and recommendations on how to calm down, tested by experience and time.

First recommendation. You need to admit your fears

The best way to do this is... Plain paper and a pen! The meaning of this psychological technique is to divide problems into those that you can solve and those that you cannot solve on your own.

Some need to be written in one column, the second, respectively, in another. This way, a person identifies the factors that make him nervous and irritated, and can then consciously approach their elimination.

Second recommendation. Fear monitoring

This technique will require some time and complements the first recommendation, how to stop being nervous over trifles. The recorded problems need to be reviewed several times a week and notice which fears have begun to become a reality. In six months, what didn't happen will no longer seem possible. In this way, you can teach your consciousness not to be afraid of unjustified fears.

Recommendation three. Most important

Love sports. Move more and sit less. Unspent energy, especially in the case of sedentary mental office work, can go down a “harmful” path and lead to dwelling on fears. Physical activity is the best prevention of this cycle; it hides the attainment of true peace.

But sport is different from sport. In order to best combat irritability and thoughts of “Well, I’m nervous again!”, you need to properly combine relaxation exercises with active sports. Breathing exercises, meditation and yoga can best help in this regard.

Recommendation four. Creation

This concept refers to everything that can make you create and create. Drawing, embroidery, making up jokes, sculpting - whatever. But the main rule is that it must be interesting to you.

The following hobbies can help you calm down:

• Those people who are overly absorbed in love for themselves. You need to start caring about animals or other people.
• For those who are always in a hurry. Working with small details, which inherently cannot be completed in one approach (growing flowers, collecting large construction models, embroidering large paintings, can teach calmness).
• For those who value freedom, the best option may be to purchase an animal, best of all, a dog that you need to walk with and take care of.
• Drawing in an abstract style can be a salvation for perfectionists. The creation of amorphous sculptures can teach that the view of perfection can be different.
• For those who are looking for close relationships with everyone, one of the hobbies that can help calm down is acting. It will teach that there is more than one role in the world for such a “everyone’s friend.”
• Any hobby that requires significant time investment can help in the pursuit of pleasure.

Fifth recommendation. Walk more

Walking brings you into your comfort zone, calms you down and relaxes you, leaving you less time to worry. There is no cure better than a quiet and peaceful walk through a beautiful park with your favorite songs in your player! Irritation subsides and problems are solved when you spend more time focusing on your interests and yourself.

Consequences of nervousness

A person who is often nervous brings suffering to those around him, especially his family and friends. But most of all he suffers himself, both externally and internally:

• serious health problems appear;
• bad feeling;
• blood pressure surges;
• heart problems;
• frequent headaches;
• alienation from society;
• may cause the destruction of relationships;
• prevent you from fully revealing yourself in society, at work, in love relationships.

You can cope with nervousness using a psychological approach.

How to cope with yourself in a stressful situation?

Often it is necessary not to freak out and remain calm right now and here. In fact, even in the most difficult situations, you can learn to overcome anxiety and stop being irritated. Among the most effective express methods on how to stop being nervous over trifles are the following:

• When you realize that you are starting to lose control of yourself, feel out of breath, get irritated, immediately stop doing things that infuriate you or conduct a dialogue with the “irritant.” Leave the room for a couple of minutes.
• When this is not possible , then close your eyes and mentally admit: “I get nervous over trifles.” Slowly count to 10, exhaling and inhaling deeply. Imagine a cloud of smoke inside you, which is your aggression. Imagine that with each inhalation and exhalation it comes out through the ears, nose and mouth, becomes smaller and disappears.
• Take a small break . Look at the secretary's outfit, at the expression on the faces of her colleagues, at the flowers arranged in the office. Think: “I am gradually calming down.” If you close your eyes for a few seconds, it will become easier.
• Pour yourself some water . A full glass is best. And slowly, stretching it out, drink it completely, saying to yourself, “I calm down and realize the small significance of everything that happens.”
• Have a laugh . This can help you calm down. If you are sitting in the office, then go to the toilet and laugh while looking at yourself in the mirror for 7-10 minutes.
• When laughter could not help , you can cry. Tears are one of the powerful outlets of severe overstrain. After this, my soul always becomes a little lighter.
• Find contact with water . Contemplation of an artificial waterfall, pond, fountain in a nearby park or corner of the office. Water relaxes and it has been proven.
• Do exercises , walk around the office back and forth, quickly run up the stairs, do some other exercises. As mentioned above, physical activity is one of the best ways to relax.
• Find benefits in this situation . Everywhere has its advantages, you just need to start seeing them and pay minimal attention to the shortcomings.
• Think about the fact that someone has it worse . That everything could have been much worse with you. Admit to yourself, “I get nervous about little things.”

In the recommendations described above, anyone can find the answer to the question of how not to get nervous over trifles. Start living a full, happy and calm life. Anyone can learn to achieve goals without worry and irritation. And for this it is not necessary to completely not feel fear. It only needs to be kept in a cage with iron bars. If you are stronger than him, you will stop being nervous and irritated for any reason.

How to defend boundaries

Don’t be afraid to end a conversation, leave the area, hang up, walk away from dates or even interviews if you are spoken to inappropriately.
Do it calmly: don’t shout, don’t slam doors, don’t throw things at your interlocutor. Don't feel like you'll offend someone or have to endure it because someone gave you their time. First of all, you are a person, and only then a child, employee, partner and colleague. Don't worry about other people's feelings and hurt feelings if they haven't thought about yours. Channel about healthy lifestyle in telegram! Subscribe