We often get angry with our loved ones for no reason, lose our tempers, say rude and nasty things, sometimes we even let our hands go and our children get spanked and slapped on the head. Or we are anxious, it constantly seems to us that something bad will certainly happen to our loved ones - a fire, a disaster, a fatal illness, we do not let them go anywhere, we constantly keep them in sight, bother us with calls, do not let them live. After all, then we get angry with ourselves, experience a painful feeling of guilt and think “how to achieve peace of mind” so that we never allow ourselves to behave this way.
Why is it important to always remain calm?
“Our life is what we think about it.” These words of Marcus Aurelius can change your destiny.
In fact, if we think about happiness, we feel happy. If we are overcome by sad thoughts, we become sad. If there is fear in our thoughts, we become timid and flinch at every sound.
If we are overly concerned about our health, then it is quite possible that poor health will soon be in wait for us. If we think about failures, then we will probably fail in some way. If we get stuck in the swamp of excessive self-pity, everyone begins to avoid us
I am deeply convinced that the most important thing in life is the ability to remain calm, develop a certain state of mind, a positive attitude towards the world around us. In other words, you should take care of solving your problems and take calm actions for this purpose, but do not panic “around and around” in a vicious circle. Don't let yourself get discouraged and think about defeat, and you will surely find the right way out of any situation.
A person's state of mind has an incredible impact on his physical strength. When the famous English psychiatrist J. A. Hadfield suggested to subjects under hypnosis that they were very weak, they were able to lift only 29 pounds - only a third of the load they lift under normal conditions. When the experiment participants were told that they were very strong, each of them managed to lift about 142 pounds.
The longer I live in the world, the more deeply I realize that people can make themselves stronger even without a hypnotist, free themselves from anxiety, fear, and illness.
The great French philosopher Montaigne chose the following words as the motto of his life: “A person suffers not so much from what happens, but from how he evaluates what is happening.”
Our assessment of what is happening depends entirely on ourselves. You may ask, how dare I demand from you, when your nerves are tense and seem about to explode, to change your way of thinking through willful efforts? Yes, I insist on exactly this! Moreover, I'm going to show you how to do it.
If you want to learn how to stay calm, the secret is very simple: “If you are sad, first of all, smile broadly, cheerfully and with all your heart, straighten your shoulders, and then try to sing a verse from some funny song. If you can't sing, whistle; if you can't whistle, hum something funny. I bet you will involuntarily perk up.” After all, it is physically impossible to remain angry while putting on the mask of a happy person. This is the law of nature.
A person is able to rise from ruins, win victories and reach the heights of success only by mobilizing spiritual strength, and can become weak, pathetic and unhappy, refusing to grow and rise spiritually.”
More than anything in the world, I want to gain power over myself - my feelings and fears, my mind and soul. To subjugate them to your will, you just need to start controlling your actions, and then they will control your reactions.
Why can't we remain steadfast?
It bothers us:
- Selfishness.
If someone hurts or offends us, it seems to us as if the whole world has collapsed. We cannot think about any other problems other than the existing conflict or situation. - Hot temper
. The inability to separate oneself from the emotion being experienced. There are many impressionable people with unstable emotional backgrounds. A small reason is enough to ruin their mood for the whole next day. - Suspiciousness.
Each of us thinks that other people also think something about him. This is both true and untrue. Most of us cannot control the flow of our thoughts - the brain itself makes hypotheses when looking at an object, and inadvertently it can judge the interlocutor for his strange shoes or unwashed hair. But in a global sense, we “don’t give a damn” about the life and appearance of those around us. The main goal of any person is to provide for himself and implement his own plans.
How to keep peace of mind
I propose a program that must be followed every day. It's called "Just for Today" Try following it and you will immediately feel its inspiring and stimulating effect.
So here's the program:
1.
Today I will be happy. I will be guided by the words of Abraham Lincoln: “Most people are only as happy as they resolve to be happy.”
2.
Today I will try to adapt myself to the life that surrounds me. I will accept my family and my job as they are and try to find something positive in them.
3.
Today I will take care of my body. I will do exercises, take care of my body, and eat right if possible. I will try not to harm my health and not neglect it. My body must be strong and resilient so that I can enjoy life.
4.
Today I will try to pay attention to developing my mind. I'll learn something useful. But I won't be a spiritual parasite. I will read something that requires effort and concentration of thoughts.
5.
Today I will engage in the moral improvement of my soul. I will do something useful for someone without him knowing about it. Then I will do at least two things that I really don't want to do. I'll just do them "for exercise." This will help you stay calm.
6.
Today I will be friendly to everyone. I will try to look my best: I will wear what suits me best, I will speak in a soft, quiet voice, I will behave kindly, I will be generous with praise. I will try not to criticize anyone, not to find fault with anyone, and not to try to command or correct anyone.
7.
I will try to accomplish what is assigned for today, because it is impossible to solve all the problems at once. Within 12 hours I can do even the most unpleasant work that would horrify me if I had to do it for the rest of my life.
8.
For today I will outline a program of my affairs and write down what I am going to do every hour. It is not necessary to follow this program immediately, but I will draw it up. This will help me get rid of two evils - haste and indecision.
9.
Today I will spend half an hour alone and try to relax. In this half hour I will think about God and try to look at least a little into my future.
10.
Today I will not be afraid of anything. I will feel happy, enjoy beauty, love and believe that I am also loved by someone.
How to maintain inner calm in stressful situations
Find a time when no one will disturb you, try to highlight the cause of your concern. These may be health problems, “critical days” in women, accumulated aggression, lack of correspondence between one’s ideas and real life, self-doubt and much more. Only by identifying the “disease” can we begin to “treat” it.
In any case, it is useful to take some actions to reduce anxiety and aggression. Relax, take a walk, get some fresh air. A rested person is more resistant to irritating factors. Treat yourself to something to keep you in a good mood.
If you want to learn calmness, exercise to channel irritation and internal aggression into overcoming laziness and achieving personal bests. In addition, sports will help keep the body in good shape, and this, in turn, also helps to overcome anxiety. Eat chocolate, strawberries, or your favorite food to increase the production of the joy hormone serotonin. Get creative. This will allow you to distract yourself, find spiritual harmony, and increase your self-esteem.
Set a goal for yourself - to learn to remain calm. Understand that your anxiety not only bothers you, but also the people around you.
Take steps to eliminate the causes of anxiety - learn to treat people without irritation, do not allow yourself to cause unreasonable anxiety, do something to increase self-esteem, accept reality as it really is.
Imagine that you are a child who is experiencing feelings that bother you. How would you console him? Say these words to yourself in front of the mirror. Choose words for yourself for meditation, the goal of which is to achieve peace. Find time every day for such meditations.
To learn to stay calm, constantly monitor your thoughts and feelings, learn to stop disturbing thoughts and switch. Love yourself and everything will work out for you!
Value from poker face
The ability to be unemotional for hours and not give away facial cues is a positive poker skill. The main idea of a poker face is that opponents cannot understand the strength of your hand by your posture, facial expression and gestures.
Players treat tells differently. Some players do not believe that facial expressions, gestures and posture can reveal hand strength. Others, on the other hand, extract additional value from reading their opponent's face. In any case, in poker you need to maintain emotional calm and equanimity to any cards on the board and the actions of your opponent.
Sometimes a poker face can be useful outside of poker. For example, when a bull is charging at you at a rodeo, it is very important to remain calm and calm.
How to get rid of a temper
Many quarrels happen almost out of nowhere. And after some time you sit and think about how to get rid of your temper so that it doesn’t happen again. But even if your relationship with someone is idyllic, such outbursts slowly spoil the relationship.
In this article we will give several ways on how to get rid of temper:
1.
Try to focus your entire life on the positive. You should also try not to pay much attention to negative things;
2.
Study several meditation techniques or psychological trainings; it is better to choose those that have been tested over the years and have positive reviews. Here, for example, is the simplest and most effective method of getting rid of temper. More and more psychologists are recommending it - this is the “tiger roar”. It should be used when your nerves are already on edge, and you feel that there is very little time left before an outburst of aggression. In this case, do not wait for someone to appear on whom you can lash out, but simply go to the mirror and growl. According to experts, this is very beneficial for the body;
3.
When you are in a bad mood again, try to pay more attention to your hobby, which is of great interest to you;
4.
To stay calm, try to keep track of what you are thinking. Monitor the thoughts that appear in your head. When negativity appears, be especially careful about your behavior;
5.
If possible, switch your thinking in a positive direction. Prayers can help with this;
6.
To get rid of your temper, try to find an interesting book, watch an interesting movie, listen to any record. In general, do what you love;
7.
Try to communicate with nature. Go out into the yard and look for a large tree. Next, approach him and mentally give all the negativity to him. This will help you get rid of the blocks that you yourself put in life;
8.
Mentally select an object and imagine that it is the source of your aggression. To do this, you can use a pillow, a punching bag, and, in the end, a wall, or just draw it. Next, just beat him, while imagining that all your negativity is being transferred to him;
9.
In order to remain calm, determine the cause of your irritability. After all, we often don’t like in people exactly what we ourselves have to one degree or another;
10.
Try to radiate positive energy. It must be sent towards the stimulus. To get rid of hot temper, try not to let elements of resentment or anger enter your thoughts.
The importance of poker face in the game
In poker, the term “poker face” refers to a face without emotion that does not show the strength of the hand. In this case, two types of poker face can be distinguished:
- a face without emotion at all;
- person giving reverse tells.
If with the first person everything is more or less clear, then in the second case the player disguises the true strength of the hand, deliberately depicting weakness. For example, he touches his earlobe, rubs his eyes, yawns. In a word, it produces gestures (tells) that signal weakness of the hand.
Do not confuse the poker face with “Hollywooding” - a situation when a player mindlessly copies the behavior of professional players from TV broadcasts (he delays before folding cards, throws out phrases about the supposed strength of the player’s hand, pretends to make a difficult decision with a monster hand).
Don't confuse poker face with Hollywooding
How to learn to remain calm in any situation
Often, the achievement of our high goals is hindered by negative emotions such as impatience, anxiety, and anger. They have an extremely negative impact on our health and spoil relationships with others. How to learn to remain calm? If we learn to control our own emotions, our activities will become more successful and effective, and our relationships with others will be more harmonious.
We'll give you some tips to help you stay calm in any situation.
1.
Don't exaggerate the problem. No matter how difficult the situation you find yourself in, you should not dramatize it. Repeat to yourself that nothing bad happened, and you will definitely get through it. Surely you will be able to look at the problem from a different angle.
2.
You need to think carefully about the situation and calm down. To maintain calm, be alone with yourself; do not immediately share with friends, because their active sympathy can upset you even more.
3.
Identify factors that negatively affect your emotional state. It can be silence or noise, darkness or bright light. Knowing what irritates you and avoiding it whenever possible will help make your life calmer.
4.
Learn to think figuratively. Try to imagine a completely calm person who is faced with your problem. Think about what he would do in a similar situation. You can imagine yourself as a sane and calm person and, in the end, become one.
5.
Create a calm environment around yourself. To learn to stay calm, listen to music and turn off bright lights. Before changing your activity, try to calm down. This may involve drinking a glass of water or taking a few deep breaths.
6.
You need to remember difficult situations in which you managed to remain calm. Realize that you can remain calm in other similar situations.
7.
You need to learn to switch. You shouldn’t think about the same thing - you can do something interesting to you or watch a movie. Being active helps you stay calm.
8.
Don't forget about your body's needs. Getting enough sleep, exercise and a healthy diet will help you feel calmer.
9.
For peace of mind, take a rest day off, even if you have a lot of work. With a good rest, you can return to work calmer and more efficient.
10.
Follow our recommendations and you will definitely achieve the desired result.
A person's life is simply filled with experiences. He is nervous from morning to evening. The consequences of this are nervous breakdowns, depression and stress. Work, home, rest. Everything needs to be thought about. With such a busy schedule, it is very difficult to remain calm. Before it can be saved, it must be developed.
Why are we nervous?
The nervous system helps a person to adequately interact with the outside world. In response to what is happening, we react with different emotions. Thanks to the nervous system, everyone knows that touching a hot iron will cause pain, and a relaxing massage will cause pleasant sensations.
However, the reaction occurs not only to physical impact. The psychological environment is important for a person’s emotional state. The body reacts to unpleasant and unexpected situations with tension, like an animal trying to hide from a predator.
The human psyche is designed in such a way that negative experiences are remembered more vividly than positive ones. For children and adolescents, this experience is not yet as rich. In addition, frequent changes of events help to experience stress vividly at a young age, but quickly forget about it.
In adults, negative experiences force them to experience worries even where there is no reason for this. Due to uncertainty, mistakes and lack of support, a person is overcome by the fear of “what if...”. According to psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky, people are often nervous because of far-fetched circumstances, and not because of what happened. This makes it difficult to relax and be here and now.
Sources of nervous tension are external factors:
- Rich information environment . A person receives a lot of information from different sources. Not everything will be important and useful. Excessive saturation with information, especially negative information, causes tension. Excessive workload associated with simultaneous performance of several tasks also has an adverse effect.
- Decreased level of physical activity . Every decade, living conditions are improving, thanks to scientific and technological progress. People no longer need to make efforts to survive as in ancient times. Changing living conditions did not reduce stress factors. If earlier the level of physical activity and nervous tension necessary for survival were in equal proportions, now, due to the lack of the need to fight for life, emotional experiences began to be felt more acutely.
- Overpopulation in cities . Constant contact with people is not always pleasant. It’s unlikely that anyone likes standing in lines, traffic jams, or riding in crowded transport - and this is part of life in big cities.
- Fast pace of life, bustle and noise . A restless environment becomes a source of tension. Everyone needs to rest in silence.
- Bad ecology . Polluted air slows down gas exchange processes and reduces brain performance.
