Don't know how to overcome the fear of communicating with strangers or people you barely know? Do you need a way to avoid the unpleasant feeling of inferiority? Are you ready to take a risk and step out of your “own comfort zone” to do something new for yourself and discover the hidden facets of your personality? Then the following information is provided especially for you.
You never stop looking for strength and confidence outside, but you should look within yourself. They have always been there. Sigmund Freud
Self-confidence helps you conquer mountains
Many people find themselves in situations in which they do not feel confident, do not feel inner harmony, or even want to fall into the ground. Who among us has not at least once experienced the feeling of complete failure after speaking in public or leaving the boss’s office? Or maybe he didn’t dare to start a conversation or start a relationship with the person he liked, or he hesitated in implementing his long-standing plans?
All people, regardless of gender, age, race, religion and other differences, are united in one thing - they strive to feel happy more often, which means to feel harmony within themselves and radiate confidence.
Practicing psychologists offer several effective ways to increase your self-esteem. It is worth paying attention to the fact that the following recommendations and advice from psychologists have been tested in practice and can be adjusted depending on life priorities, interests and wishes.
He has more than enough confidence))
Record your pros and cons
Write down on a piece of paper, dividing it into two parts, your strengths (“pros”) and weaknesses (“cons”). Try to have an equal number of pluses or, even better, more than minuses. If you can’t complete the task right away, take your time, think about how long ago you looked inside yourself? Perhaps you just don’t really know what you’re really capable of. This assignment will help you become more clear about your limitations. For example, “I would never jump with a parachute unless there were extreme circumstances,” but “I can cook delicious desserts (or drive a car well),” etc.
Handbag
Every woman at least sometimes thinks about where it is best to put her bag in a restaurant. Remember: the ideal place for this important women's accessory is a special stand for bags that looks like a small stool. This tradition came to us from Asia, and we are absolutely not against it, right, ladies?
If there is no stand, in this case we focus on the size of the bag. According to the rules of etiquette, medium and large ones with a hard bottom can be placed on the floor. The medium and small ones can be placed behind you, between your back and the back of the chair. The clutch can be placed on your knees, under a cloth napkin. It is considered bad manners to put a bag on the table, even if it is the only item from the collection of the most famous and fashionable designer. It is better not to go to restaurants at all with very large, baggy bags.
Don't dwell on your mistakes
And one last thing. Perhaps, among people who have also admitted their weakness and vulnerability (at various trainings, support groups and personal growth), it will be easier for you to open up and start a dialogue not only with yourself, but also to receive “feedback” from others. After all, it may well be that only you have the confidence that you are doing something wrong. After all, while you are busy with this thought, other people are busy with themselves. And they, in turn, think about how to make a good impression on others, including you.
Practical tips for gaining confidence in communication.
Don't mumble.
Have you ever listened to someone who spoke in such a way that you could hardly understand what he was saying? He just speaks quietly or with such terrible enunciation that you constantly have to ask him to repeat what he said. Perhaps you have noticed how others often tell you “can you say that again”? If you mumble, this may be familiar to you.
Slurred speech can become a bad habit and send a loud and clear message to everyone that “I am not confident enough to speak clearly and with authority.” It can also mean that you don't really want the listener to hear what you're saying. Either way, it undermines your credibility. What to do: Just realizing that you are mumbling is a good start to breaking this habit. To become more aware of this, practice speaking in front of a mirror and strengthen the articulation and pronunciation of the words you speak. When you speak, open your mouth wide and pronounce each syllable separately. Try to maintain modulation and clarity without stretching words in sentences. Practice your speech for a few minutes every day, morning and evening, this will help you gain confidence in communication.
Don't use filler words.
Conversation fillers are those little “umm,” “uh,” and “ahh” sounds that we use while we are thinking about what to say next. Sometimes we say them when we are nervous or when our memory fails us. A conversation, presentation, or speech filled with these fillers gives the impression that the speaker is ill-prepared or unfocused. The more you use them, the more dependent you become on them to plug the hole in your thoughts and words. What to do: Start paying attention to how often you use fillers in everyday conversation. Start catching yourself using these sounds and take a deep breath instead. A few seconds of silence are more powerful than filler words, and deep breathing will calm you down and allow you to collect your thoughts.
Pay attention to volume, tone and speed.
Have you ever met a person whose voice was really annoying? They speak in a raised voice or too loudly. Or they speak so quickly that you miss most of what they said. If a raised voice sounds jarring to those listening, they will make a decision based on how you sound rather than what you say. When you speak in a raised tone, it gives the impression that you are nervous and lack confidence. The low, measured voice sounds soothing and convincing. When you speak quickly, people can't understand you, become distracted, and stop listening, making you less confident and effective at communicating. What to do : Read a few paragraphs from the book and record it on a voice recorder. Listen to your voice and intonation. There is no need to say everything in one tone - some words and phrases should be spoken in a higher tone for expressiveness. Pay attention to the speed and volume of your speech while listening to the recording. If you listen to your voice and make corrections, the new way of speaking will come naturally.
Think before you speak.
When you're nervous or unsure, you can sometimes lose the filter between your brain and your mouth. You may blurt something out without thinking. Or you may rush to blurt out something before you lose any courage or get angry. But by thinking through and organizing your thoughts in the future, you can protect yourself from confusion and prevent someone else from getting annoyed. It will also help you convey information more accurately and concisely. If you don't snap back or blurt out your opinion right away, you're also sending the message that you're being reserved and there's truth in what you're saying. What to do: Next time you're having a conversation at work or in a more intimate personal conversation, take a few deep breaths before you respond or comment. Consider whether you really want to say what is on the tip of your tongue. Maybe your answer is worth some more thought? Are your comments appropriate? Will your words offend or offend the person or people who are listening to you? This is not a test of confidence, but of the effectiveness of communication.
Stop extraneous movements.
Do you click your pen, wipe your glasses, or wave your hands nervously as you speak? Whether in a private conversation or a public speech, these nervous movements are distracting and make obvious any discomfort you feel. Sure, making appropriate hand gestures when speaking can make you look and feel more confident, but more often than not, people have no idea what to do with their hands when speaking. They cross their arms, lean on them, or repeat the same gesture over and over again.
What to do : Start paying attention to your hands when talking to others. Just this observation will help eliminate unnecessary movements. If you don't know what to do with your hands, give them some natural position, bending your elbows, fold your hands slightly in front of you, as if you were clapping your hands.
Speak naturally.
In a personal or professional setting, you won't be able to feel confident if your words don't resonate with you. If you put on a pose, trying to appear to be someone you are not, using unnecessary jargon or language that is too formal or (out of formality) inappropriate under the circumstances, people will see you as pretentious and artificial. Most confident people feel free to be themselves, allowing their individuality and even their emotions in the context of the situation to make their speech more expressive. An open and sincere person is truly attractive, inspires confidence and puts others at ease; confidence is based on the naturalness of communication.
What to do : Next time you talk to people or one-on-one, remind yourself to be yourself and show your natural characteristics. Resist the temptation to talk like you should or to try to pretend. Stop trying to be perfect. Take a deep breath, relax and speak casually, as if you were talking to a friend. Natural uniqueness is your goal.
Use a sense of humor.
Humor is a great way to lighten the mood and relieve tension between you and others. It's hard to be funny when you don't feel confident, but we've all been in a funny situation or seen something funny in a video, movie, or TV. Telling these stories or getting listeners to share a funny story about themselves is a great way to make the conversation more casual and bring the group together. With practice, you can find ways to bring lightness to your conversation using your own sense of humor. What to do: Think about a recent funny incident or situation that happened to you or that you heard about. Practice telling your story in front of a mirror or to one or two people you feel confident around. Remember a couple of funny stories and prepare them for the company next time. Just make sure the story is appropriate for the audience.
Pay attention to nonverbal cues.
People who listen to you provide you with a good response to your confidence and communication skills through their body language. Do they seem to be listening and making eye contact, or are they distracted and confused? Do they smile at you or look annoyed? Are they showing affection or are they trying to get rid of you? Do they appear confused, unhappy or upset, or do you think they appreciate and understand your message? You can use these nonverbal cues to make your words clear, which will improve your communication skills in the future. What to do : Pay special attention to the nonverbal signs that others send when you talk to them. As soon as you notice any of these signs, start adjusting your conversation accordingly. If you can't handle implied comments and cues, ask the person giving the negative signal how you can improve your speaking and communication style. This will help you observe more positive reactions from others and it will give you a huge boost in confidence.
Know what you are talking about.
As mentioned earlier, thorough preparation is the key to feeling confident, especially in communication. Whether you're debating politics with a friend or giving a presentation, you'll feel much more confident if you have the facts and are thoroughly prepared. You will make a valuable contribution to the conversation and therefore prove (and feel) your worth and that you are in control of the game. If you have to talk about difficult and complex things, be prepared to conduct the conversation in such a way that the interlocutor can understand you correctly. This concerns not only the knowledge of facts, but also the ability to present them.
What to do: Do you have a conversation or meeting coming up where you need to share information or ideas? How can you prepare thoroughly by finalizing the necessary material and also tailor your message to the audience? What key questions are you interested in that could be shared in conversation? Read and learn more about these issues so you can feel knowledgeable and confident.
This concludes the article on gaining confidence in communication. I hope this information will be useful to you and will be useful in building effective communications in a variety of situations.
Bread
No matter how much people are addicted to diets in the modern world, bread will forever remain in the hearts and on the tables of the Russian people. And not only Russian - in many traditions, bread is associated with spirituality, and many countries and peoples treat this product with genuine respect.
So, the bread is on the table in the restaurant. And then the fun begins: someone makes a sandwich out of it, someone cuts a wheat bun in half with a butter knife and makes a burger, then takes a tasty bite and remembers their childhood, the aroma of freshly baked bread from the bakery, their mother’s sandwiches. All this is very nice, but has nothing to do with etiquette. In table etiquette, bread is not bitten, but broken off piece by piece; bread is taken from a common plate with tongs or by hand, then placed on your own bread plate and enjoyed in small portioned pieces.
Remember that your value does not depend in any way on your partner’s attitude towards you.
This is a very important rule for your own confidence - you don’t need anyone’s approval to love yourself.
At the beginning of a relationship, people become too focused on getting confirmation from their new partner that they are worthy and important to him. However, your worth does not depend on whether the new guy admires you or not.
Self-love will help you avoid becoming dependent on your partner’s opinion. Keep reminding yourself how amazing you are. A confident person will not become depressed because the person he started dating did not appreciate him or acted badly.
Live the present
It's good to know what you need from a relationship, it helps you not waste time on unpromising partners. But, if you see only a specific goal ahead - for example, that the guy should introduce you to your parents, offer to live together, or make a statement about you in some other way - then all your attention will be focused only on this. You won’t be able to enjoy the moment, observe whether a guy is right for you or not, how you feel with him. A self-confident person knows that if a relationship doesn’t work out, it means there is simply the wrong partner nearby. There is no point in judging every action at the beginning of dating, based only on whether he will marry you in the future.
